Monday, April 3, 2017

digging to China with a toothpick and a thimble

Whoa, Nellie!

You spasmodically concluded we're anti-Semites here, eh?

You didn't ever stop to ask yourself, "hey, do those knuckledragging misanthropic misogynist homophobic cis-het-patriarchal reactionaries at unsf ever hear total bullshit bigotry about other religions or ethnicities, from people who imagine themselves and preen and prance as enlightened humanists advancing global social progress?"

No.

You couldn't.

Because in your world, some religions and ethnicities really are White Trash.

****************

I don't suppose it's possible you're trying to elevate yourself with that negative attitude toward your chosen hated religion, ethnicity, or geographic region/municipal neighborhood... is it?

****************

You also have not asked yourself, "hey, is it even remotely possible that the distinct homophobia I encounter at unsf has anything to do with someone's concern for long-term social strife, since topsy-turvy situations where 7% of the population control life for the other 93% don't seem too happy, docile, tranquil or --dare I say it-- indicia of social progress?  Didn't I understand bonobo monkeys to have advanced no further than fucking each other, as a culture?  Or do I think that is the pinnacle of a culture and we're improving if everyone overemphasizes sex and promiscuity and lust in our culture, even among children?  Have I convinced myself paedophilia is a good thing?"

Now that's a lot of questions, and I'm sure you don't want to get any of them wrong.  After all, that's your chosen method of proving your intellectual prowess:  Yes/No questions, True/False questions, trick multiple choice questions.

You certainly don't want to think paedophilia is a result of psychological fuckitude and can be worse in a promiscuous culture.  You'd rather think a paedo is someone you suspect of being "creepy" or whatever.  Get back to having your first bi- experience, don't let me interrupt.

****************

I don't suppose you've allowed yourself to be twisted 'round & 'round by your popular culture vectors of choice, or anything.  I mean, if TeeVee shows that everyone knows are Really Good, Really Well Made, Great Backstory & I Care about the Characters and their Arc have assured me that everyone should be fucking everyone all the time and marriage is a stupid encumbrance and abortion is great birth control and it's a choice not a baby & a woman's choice at that, certainly I should just be ruled by my swollen highly vascularized sex organ/pleasure button.

Infidelity IS fidelity, bro.  Get with the times.

Broken hearts ain't near as bad a broken cock when fuckslut no 3 wants you to fuck her tonight and you just were at fuckslut no 2's and at lunch you had fuckslut no 1.  That's social progress.

Giving in to your earliest pubescent, raging-hormones urges is Adult, dude & dudette.  That's progress.  That's a forward-moving culture.

Hey, why are those 1%ers continuing to get rich?

Must be 'cuz we're not fucking often enough.


--Charles F. Oxtrot, long retired from thinking with his piss gun.

38 comments:

Chet Redweld said...

We don't often get honored with a full entry from Mr Oxtrot.

Thanks, Chuck.

Priscilla Houle-Eaton, BA (Psych), MSW, LCSW said...

That's a good thing, we don't need such reactionary views distorting our new Reality.

Chuckwagon just can't accept that Gay is the real sexuality and cis-heteros are on the way out. They're passe, they're like 2006 or something at best.

Anyone who doesn't get his news from Rachel Maddow & John Oliver is stuck in some prior culture, typical Reactionary, trying to keep us stagnant.

Probably envies the fact that people like me have a stable of sex partners. Probably only got laid once, and probably had to pay for it then.

I wonder if I could interview Chuckwagon, see how he's different from that insane psychopath Caidagh.

Does anyone have a picture of him? I can Dx his issues with a photo & some internet commentary. Once I do that, I'll just write the Dx on the image with photoshop.

Trust me, I have a good online rep everywhere except with this Reactionary blog's writers and that one guy who reads it.

Harold Caidagh said...

Prissy's showing Engineer-levels of human existential understanding, and Leporidae levels of sexual maturity.

Bet she's really popular on facebook & twitter.

Paul Behrer said...

You certainly don't want to think paedophilia is a result of psychological fuckitude and can be worse in a promiscuous culture.

...but Cultural Marxist "mental health experts" say paedophilia is about power, not sex.

Isn't that something you'd expect from NAMBLA, apologists for paedophilia?

Also have heard CM "experts" in the field say that paedophilia is due to sexual repression, so liberalizing attitudes toward what's allegedly promiscuous is good for fixing the paedo rate.

I can't imagine something more opposite the truth and against reality, but a lot of "enlightened, intellectual" people have bought this bullshit hook, line & sinker like a dumb trash fish that will go after a rubber boot on a hook.

The reason infotainment has you panicked about "creepers" and "child abductors" in your local neighborhood is because the people who run the govt and who run infotainment biz, and finance, are infested with paedos and have paedo parties all the time.

LOOK! OVER THERE! EVIL CREEPY GUY NEAR PLAYGROUND!

The people who distract you that way are doing exactly what they warn you about.

Or, they're about to.

Or would like to.

Kinda makes me want to say,

"yo, Enlightened Progressive, High-Minded Leftist, Noble Marxist, Staunch Communist: grow the fuck up. See the consequences of your choices, take responsibility for bad ones. Focus on your own life first."

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

CogDis head explosions in 3...2...1....

Harold Caidagh said...

Art-for-Silver ran a "latest substantive essay" entry lately, him quoting him quoting him quoting Alice Miller who would've quoted Art if he'd preceded her in age and location on the space-time continuum, somehow asserting that the movie Field of Dreams is about paedos.

I guess that's supposed to be a "satire" of Louis Proyect's paedoview and habit of doing "marxist cinema review," but why is it so damned Dane Cook unFunny?

10th string pretenders at The Gotcha, imagining selves Hall of Famers.

I hope nobody's gonna tell me Art's serious.

https://youtu.be/9OzcO2o_zAM

By the way, the second part of the title there: think of it in a fistfight provocation sense, not having to do with true terpsichore.

Chet Redweld said...

Priscilla, I recall you saying you had a PhD, and listing one on your CV.

Did it get revoked?

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

I hear Tom Friedman's B-town estate is the new Comet Pizza/Ping-Pong.

Red Line is tainted.

Priscilla Houle-Eaton, BA (Psych), MSW, LCSW said...

think of it in a fistfight provocation sense

I told you Caidagh was a sick psychopath.

Harold Caidagh said...

Everything's a conclusion-made-for-point-of-accusation with Prissy.

She concludes, she labels.

Never inquires.

Never an empathetic moment.

The tables have turned, now it's her therapy, but she's pretending to help you, and you're the one being charged. You pay twice: once with your scratch; then with your generous reflections that should open a few doors for her, perspective wise.

The worst part, she's not learning a thing.

I'd suggest severing the arrangement, unless you can successfully reverse the charges. No reason why you, the superior mind and more holistic human, should be underwriting her life.

Chet Redweld said...

Kinda makes me want to say,

"yo, Enlightened Progressive, High-Minded Leftist, Noble Marxist, Staunch Communist: grow the fuck up. See the consequences of your choices, take responsibility for bad ones. Focus on your own life first."


Not exactly how I would have put it, Pablo, but the points made are excellent.

Chet Redweld said...

Hey, why are those 1%ers continuing to get rich?

Must be 'cuz we're not fucking often enough.


Idiot.

Causes, in priority, top = primary cause.

1. Corporate.
2. Christians.
3. Crackers.
4. Misogynists.
5. Patriarchists.
6. Anti-abortionists.
7. Homophobes.
8. Cis-Het nutjobs.
9. Republicans.
10. The Irish.

Paul Behrer said...

I can't believe Chet waded into the comedy. Now he'll probably never get another billable hour's worth of work. BLACKLIST HIM NOW!

Chet Redweld said...

I threw No. 10 in there for 2 reasons, UK symbolism, and for Hal's sake.

Paul Behrer said...

After all, that's your chosen method of proving your intellectual prowess: Yes/No questions, True/False questions, trick multiple choice questions.

Hal, a proposition:

"Death to the Either/Or", it seems to show its limitations with that third category of trick multiple choice.

Does it provide any buffer against the sophist, the Talmudist, or the Confidence Man who is presenting short-answer or essay question formats in a Knowledge Progress Assessment?

Can someone employing "Death to the Either/Or" as a Hipsterism get any intellectual integrity mileage out of the so-called joke?

If not, is that itself a joke worthy of admiration, if pre-planned?

What makes for good laminate humor, Hal?

I'd ask Chet, but his answer is likely to be dry, starchy, over-detailed and pretty damned unFunny.

Priscilla Houle-Eaton, BA (Psych), MSW, LCSW said...

dry, starchy, over-detailed and pretty damned unFunny.

This should be your blog's motto, Caidagh.

Don't give Behrer any credit for it.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

Pablo,

Here's 4th string Gotcha analysis of "Death to the Either/Or," and it probably gives Chalupa far too much credit and will result in him assimilating as "yeah, meant to do that" genius the work of others:

* No false binaries. Chalupa, Chah-Wee Gayviss stole that notion from this blog and ran with it, then you presented it as if it were yours.

* No more Kierkegaard (author of Either/Or). Okay, this is your secret handshake with Crispy. Hah hah hah. Sophist fuck.

* No more Church, because literally, Kierkegaard = churchyard. Tripping on his shoelaces, however? Ultimate Arbiter gets to declare what is/isn't acceptable in faith/belief, while asserting Layer No 1's proposition? This not only makes it unfunny treble-negative, like a short circuit in an electrical circuit board, but also reveals hollowness in self-impression regarding cleverness and comic impulse. Because of the short-circuit problem.

Being a hair-splitting fop, Chalupa would probably draw 4 or 5 more divisions out of the 3 I mentioned above, and none would have even mild amusement result from any aspect.

Am I chastising Chalupa?

Mocking hollow, useless pretend-satire?

Wonder if it's preserving high standards in that Trademark unsf product --

Insult Comedy-Inflected Sociopolitical Satire * Complex Problem Solving * Free Insights Improving Your Analytic Skills

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Don't forget the occasional athletic pondering.

Or the random outdoor gear commentary.

Why bother keeping score, in 21st C, hair-split-of-25-times-previously-split-follicle Niche Expertise is what matters.

Holism is dead, and a Renaissance Man is not even faintly remnant as dust in a coffin, and thus has become completely irrelevant to "reality," in this Progressive Era.

Praise promiscuity and gender fluidity and The Great Upheaval & Reversal of Everything!

PROGRESS IS UPON US!

Al Paulzandry, Head Crowjacker@SMBIVA said...

* No false binaries. Chalupa, Chah-Wee Gayviss stole that notion from this blog and ran with it, then you presented it as if it were yours.

How could he steal it from unsf, you stole it from the brilliant Michael J. Smith, author of Ratchet Theory explanations of how True Pure Leftists should not think the Democrats are Leftist, and therefore should cease voting and become pretentious cynics with Big Nest Eggs and a handy thesaurus and ready translator web page!

You just don't see how niche-warfare among the True Pure Leftists is serious business, you think it's a joke because you're a stupid Reactionary who wants to control a woman's uterus.

Everything you know, you learned from the estimable MJS. Before you encountered SMBIVA, you were a stupid Libertarian. I convinced you to give up anti-Abortion positions and the Libertarian view, and you did exactly what I told you to do.

You think grasping MJS and his Ratchet Theory makes you enlightened. Well, you're not MJS, and you didn't create the Theory.

MJS is probably the best we have, short of resurrecting Karl Marx.

Paul Behrer said...

I love these triangulated online personae and their sense of "reality". Honestly, I do.

Imagine how useless and unimportant they must feel, to put so much energy into this pointless tit-for-tat play, while holding Day Jobs and telling selves that Otherwise, I'm a Writer/Poet, Day Job is just to pay for cat food and my kid's tuition, but seriously, I'm a Writer/Poet.

How does someone imagine him/herself a meta-satirist when there's no satire, no irony, no sarcasm, no black humor, no poking-at-the-800-lb-gorilla-nobody's-mentioning?

THAT's the joke?

That it's not any of those things but the author tells him/herself it's "meta-satire"?

THAT's the joke?

Chet Redweld said...

Yes.

That IS the "joke," Pablo.

haw haw haw, eh?

In my field, it reminds me of the kid who just finished 1st semester of 1st year of law school, now imagines self the next great Perry Mason/Matlock/Arnie Becker/Crusader Rabbit, J.D. - Lawyer for Furries.

He goes around tossing the legal phrases he's learned, and the mistakenly memorized as Black Letter concepts, because he knows the rest of his cadre of kooks lacks a semester of law school. He's even got one up on the few pals who took Con Law in college.

He can gull a lot of non-lawyers with his pseudo-expertise.

Seasoned lawyers see a joke in the fool's play, however.

And it's not the kind of joke the just-started-law-school kid wants to have associated with him and his pronouncements, beliefs, positions, and ego contour.**


_______________________

**Ego contour - noun phrase, meaning the projection of the Self one believes he creates in society, balanced against the brittleness and/or pixelization of the projected image.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Can't wait 'til Jordan Peterson, Pop Psychology Expert on the Internet and in TEDworld, steals most of this post's observations and spends 1,000 hours racking his brain on how to repackage it as his own insights.

Weren't you looking into that, Chet?

How's that going?

Chet Redweld said...

Jordan Peterson is to psychology/psychiatry what Glenn Greenwald is to attorney ethics and integrity.

Details to follow.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

"think of it in a fistfight provocation sense"

I told you Caidagh was a sick psychopath.

Foolish, presumptive Prissy.

In lacrosse, when I did face-offs, right before the zebra put the pelota between the two pockets, I'd look at my opponent and say, "let's dance" in a somewhat assertive, mildly threatening way.

We should examine my face-off stats, Poindexter. I never kept track, honestly, but I don't recall losing more than 25% of them.

Chet Redweld said...

Tell them the valuable insider beta, Chuck. Something that puts into perspective the ideas of lacrosse being a barbaric, meathead, subnormal IQ sport that only has credence with the intellectual leftist because it's a Native American game at heart, and therefore the attendant notion that if Chuck played he must be some mountain of mindless muscle who bullies everyone, especially women.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

I weigh 150 lbs and did in college.

And I'm not a midget.

I studied a lot and made pretty decent grades in a tough curriculum.

People didn't dislike me very much in college. Professors, administrators, coaches, groundspeople, housekeeping staff, the local police -- all of them seemed to treat me pretty honorably for a kid from the wrong side of the tracks.

I dunno, does that help, Chet?

Chet Redweld said...

Maybe a little. Did your major's Department have a rep for meathead curve flatteners making everyone get at least a B? Did you spend more time in the campus pub than in the library? Did you spend more time lifting weights than cracking books? More time running than studying? Was your campus rep, "smart ass idiot klutz who thinks he's clever and athletic?"

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

I also played for the golf team and, for part of one season, the soccer team.

I was known for hibernating in the quiet sections of the library.

I did spend a lot of time at the campus pub, but that's because I worked there as a bartender and as a bouncer.

My intramural indoor soccer team always won the season title, my intramural flag football team won 2 of 4 years.

I got a few academic achievements that I never tallied or paid much attention to, have certificates for them somewhere in a mailing tube if they haven't turned to crumble yet.

The XXs among us treated me graciously, but maybe you should ask them for their recollections about me -- since I so frequently got called a rapist/misogynist back when I wrote here regularly, and people who judge an internet post usually know best.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Also, my major?

180 opp meathead sleepwalk. It was known at our college as The Great Whittler, because of the dropout rate in the major. Only physics was tougher, and our physics department was like a little nuke reactor in its power-per-size aspect. The physics majors were the only people geekier than me & my major's followers.

How many people who consider themselves great fluid thinkers attended colleges where oral examination with functional knowledge flexibility display was required for at least a B+ in many of the most difficult subjects?

I know a lot of people, and nobody else I know went to such a college. I hear they use that method at St Johns, though. That's not where I went.

Chet Redweld said...

Chuck, that kind of academic history would certainly prepare you for an upper-level legal thinker placement, if you ever chose law. As your lawyer, assessing potential in a vacuum, and not meaning to insult you, I'd say it's a shame you wasted such potential in athletic and mechanical fabrication employment.

H.M. Lohmann said...

It's somewhat interesting how Dill Burt's animated persona in the twitter era seems to be trying really hard for a 2d or 3d tier understudy version of Chuck's actual self.

I wonder if Dill Burt is this blog's longest-standing reader?

I wonder if Dill Burt's lawyers are better than Chet is!

I think I'd like to see Chuck do a "let's dance" face-off against a lot of these internet frauds.

Wonder if Chet would take the case.

Paul Behrer said...

I just wanted to say it's good seeing Chuck on the pitch again.

H.M. Lohmann said...

I think the real point here is that the Platinum Jew arriving in the form of Swede Levov/Masin was so rare an occurrence that Mr Roth devoted an entire plot engine to his memory, while here we have Chuck idling in obscurity despite being the equivalent of Swede squared.

I think this ties into Hal's commentary about TGR, in some way or another. On TGR there's like 3 or 4 truly great skiers, but 100,000s of "members" and online talkers who like to be taken for the 3-4 great ones, by affiliation or work of confusion. West Side Story. When you're a Jet you're a Jet all the way, blah blah blah.

Chet Redweld said...

Hy, are you suggesting Philip Roth reads this blog for inspiration?

That sounds a little far-fetched. Mr Roth was working his very unique brand of observational satirical & caustic storytelling well before Chuck teed up on the first hole here.

What I find most compelling, true-irony Irony-wise here, is that Chuck's humor, when he's working that angle, is so heavily rooted in the work of several Jewish comedians. Chuck told me once something about Don Rickles being one of his childhood... well, I guess Hal's term for it would be "saints." One of Chuck's childhood saints. Very influential.

I think you had to be of similar age, in that same era, to have any sense of who Rickles was/is. I remember him as part of the Rat Pack and I remember "you hockey puck!" but not much else about Rickles. Obviously the impressions were stronger on Chuck.

Priscilla Houle-Eaton, BA (Psych), MSW, LCSW said...

Chuckwagon's obviously a fictional character based on Swede Masin.

Chet Redweld said...

Interesting theory. In that theoretical world, on whom are you based, Prissy?

Harold Caidagh said...

Look, Chet called her Prissy. Not reluctantly "doctor", or "Mizz Houle-Eaton" or "Miss Houle".

Prissy.

I think he's trying to be funny again.

Either that, or she reminds him of the hen in the old Foghorn Leghorn cartoon.

That old hen, by the way, was Dana Carvey's source for Church Lady.

Chet Redweld said...

I think you guys should back off the throttle. I don't have time for another GRH scenario right now.

Chuck: go ride the rollers. 45 mins.
Karl: listen to some music, I suggest Polvo.
Pablo: watch a movie, maybe 2001.
Hy: read The Green Man.
Hal: do some stretching, your posture's terrible.