Monday, March 20, 2017

the twitter equivalent of eating a bullet

BARK!

Just one bark, but boy is it a howler:

Correct usage: The enormity of Scalia's assholosity lead to his legal decisions that ratfucked untold millions.

It's not the first time someone thought that an MFA = a JD, jurisprudence-wise.

It won't be the last.

It may be the only MFA-leading-to-Reference-Librarian-plus-Tempera-Poetaster who thinks it's got legal chops, but it may not.

*************

Chalupa,

stack up the manifold reasons of Scalia's horror in jurisprudence.

List the decisions.

Enumerate each one's legal reasoning flaws.

I'll give you one week.

*************

A week passes.

Chalupa tweets or blogs,

"Jurisprudence? That's for frauds of the legal sort, there is no jurisprudence in my Socialist Utopia, it's just my rules and you're wrong if you disobey or dislike any small part of any single one of 'em. 'nuff said. The genius has spoken."

We inquire further: "This is your take because you read A Frolic of His Own and from that, drew overbroad conclusions and snap judgments premised upon them?"

Our prodigal pup replies,

"Stupid reactionary homophobic cis-trans-patriarchist! Only reactionary ideologues respect The Law in a Repugnican-controlled, neoLib-Dem assimilated government system. My Laws control over whatever ratfucker Scalia might have said in one of his lying screeds."

We soldier on, patiently: "Yes, but as to the legal analysis, you have nothing?"

Chalupa-doo, erstwhile Walter-Mitty-of-a-pseudo-dog, snaps back with arrogance,

"Only the First International, late arriving upon American shores through the Kind marshalled among the nobility (me, & the rest of the True Pure Leftist Democrats), will provide any analysis necessary of the regime we are displacing by the moment. When it is finished, we shall write the history. I will write that history. I AM THE REFERENCE LIBRARIAN AND I KEEP THE TRUTH!"


--Charles F. Oxtrot, and I believe the little stuffed animal has reached a new level of delusion with this one.

20 comments:

Harold Caidagh said...

When Chalupa drunkenly fucked a Special Ed girl in 12th grade, he was glad to be able to have the little blastomere blown up, existentially speaking. Ever since then, he's hated everything to do with the RC Church and its rules about abortion, contraception, etc.

Imagine being that sexually confused kid that Chalupa was. Two problems with the pregnancy, first you may not even like girls let alone want to get one pregnant; and second, a pregnancy is obnoxious when you're going to be painting the town semen-grey with your jizz after you become a famous poet and the world wants you in its sexual clutches. Tied down to a baby, to a hetero identity? Nay good poetasters and hipsters, NAY!

The natural fallout is that Scalia, who openly was Catholic, earned Chalupa's special ire. He doesn't hate Tony Kennedy the same way, though Tony's equally papist.

It's really about Chalupa's wholesale buy-in on the CultMarx insistence that only Jews are fit to the more "intellectual" roles of power in a society.

Paul Behrer said...

The typical fleeing Catholic runs to the arms of the Marxist.

Why do you think JK Toole created that Myrna Minkoff character anyway?

Chet Redweld said...

It's really about Chalupa's wholesale buy-in on the CultMarx insistence that only Jews are fit to the more "intellectual" roles of power in a society.

Not bad, Hal.

Not bad at all.

Harold Caidagh said...

Well yeah. Why else would he ignore what he's learned here?

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

Chalupa thinks the lesson of Gaddis's work is: BE A SOCIALIST! A MARXIST-LENINIST! COMMUNARDS, ARISE!

What a riot.

Paul Behrer said...

No dude. He's meta-satirizing this blog's writers. He always knew-- everything, and forever. He was born a wizened genius and has only grown more other-worldly in his intuitive insights over 56 years terra-time.

I wonder if he ever really doubts the truth of any minor part of any of the myths he's incorporated during that 56 year long wander. Walking in circles for over half a century, does one arrive anywhere, or see anything?

Harold Caidagh said...

But wait a minute: he's got a snarky reply that's sure to make the other Third Grade Mentality "satirists" at least feign a smirk.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

In how many different incorporations, ether-world-wise, has Chalupa now tried to run his "I'm so much smarter than you, dude, hang it up!" meta-satire, to distinct failure?

I think he's batting 1.000 there, every time a full & complete failure.

The really keenly ironic thing here is that he sometimes does have an ability to produce a stifled guffaw, now and then -- but only when he stops trying for political wisdom in the form of meta-meta-Loretta-and-Henrietta-satire.

When he's original, and true to his own dweeby pop culture compiler-archivist-curator inclinations, and isn't a cheap imitation of whomever in ArtsyFartsyWworld is a durable hero of dubiously confabulated stature: best chance of the Mona Lisa smile generation.

Paul Behrer said...

Yeah but when he was 15 his bestest buddies told him he was a genius, and they always asked him who were the hot new musicians/bands, hippest new authors, most essential poets, et cetera.

Fumbling around for a path in life, Chalupa just fell into the Class Genius role, and has merely extended the scope beyond his HS class to greater American society.

Probably never dawned on him that geniuses don't ever assume they know everything, and always question the value & veracity of every proposition asserted as true/known/established.

It's the label Genius that matters.

Not the stuff thereof.

Chet Redweld said...

If this were a dynamic possession game like soccer, lacrosse, hockey, basketball, rugby then someone here would ultimately have to give little Chalupa credit for an assist or two, since his various observations often propel a goal/try/basket, albeit by another playing by different strategies.

He's a little like the kid who un-knowingly offers an excellent assist on the field/pitch/ice/court, by pure happenstance rather than learned experience + skills + field awareness.

Those are assists no matter how they happen, so eventually someone will have to award that credit.

H.M. Lohmann said...

--Charles F. Oxtrot, and I believe....

Finally, something I can comment on. Thanks Chuck.

...the little stuffed animal has reached a new level of delusion with this one.

This is why someone here once referred to "Chalupa, Lord Garth of the internet's Elba II," correct?

Paul Behrer said...

That's a roger, Hy. 10-4.

Harold Caidagh said...

If this was the Arch-Mendacity's blog, the Arch-Mendacity himself would give Hy a GOLD STAR for that Trekkie savvy.

5 points on our stars here, Hy.

Not 6.

Paul Behrer said...

What is it with these word-diarrheoids like Chalupa, Tarzie, Fadduh Smiff, Nightplow, Art for Silver, or the Arch-Putrid? Do they impress themselves by writing w/o economy, pure bilge and enough to sink the ship, at multiple internet outlets? Hell, some of them even run a disinfo "news" site because it sure is boring working as a reference librarian in a reactionary university! Stick it to the MAN, stan, with comment deletions whenever someone observes sock puppetry offering the fables and fictions of les communards!

I suppose as long as one can look in the mirror and say, "shit, I'm like Andy Kaufmann I have so many stock characters of great originality each!" while everyone else encountering the lame one-keyboard-45-voices "gag" sees no humor in it, and it's not because they're low-IQ or wrong ideology, either...

...well, I suppose that's triumph, true winning, and makes up for the 40+ years of identity confusion.

The original copycat. What a claim to own!

Paul Behrer said...

It's practically Pavlovian, Chalupa's latest Tarzie entry. Emulates unsf in every way other than being hetero, having good earth-grounding in one's shoes, and not using snark where logic is faster, cleaner & better.

It also lacks comic cleverness, but that's nothing new.

Good job, poetaster.

It's all our fault that you're stupid, unoriginal, and continually duped by your True Pure Leftist fantasy reformation of America.

Precisely.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

EYE'M GETTING BACK AT YOU! EYE'M THE ALL-SEEING, ALL-KNOWING REFERENCE LIBRARIAN!,

shouted the little stuffed chihuahua.

IT'S YOUR FAULT MY FANTASY TRUELY PUERELY LEFFTIST VALLHOLLER IS NOT IN PLACE RIGHT KNOWE. WHY ARE YOU SO RONGE AND WHY DO YOU NOT AGREE EYE'M THE REEL GEENYISS HEAR?

EYE'LL GET MY REVENDGE. EYE'LL KEEP COPYING YOUR INSIGHTS AND TELLING EVERYWON THAT EYE ALWAYS KNEW!

EYE AM THE ALL SEEING EYE!

WORSHIP ME NOW!

chirped squeekily the tiny chihuahua, the cheep-cheep-cheeping being the nearest he could get to a forceful, meaningful, and impressive voice.

Harold Caidagh said...

Hey did any of my fellow knuckle-dragging goons read Kwith Fwoid's Talmudic "now I say it, later I deny it, in the future my past is irrelevant and hey I'm a Southern Baptist too!" post? He tried to address the "altRight" by calling them Nazi lovers, and then in the comments he pretends that his essay history at EB doesn't consist of Marxist implorings to communism when it's not bland blindfolded apologetics for that same group Chalupa represents: the true pure noble leftist Democrats, the only real Democrats, the spirits of JFK's mythology and sixties hagiographic Peace'n'Love collective embodiment.

Fool prances about like he's really a clever writer who can "gotcha" his critics! Hah hah hah!

More like inept bungler who paints with words to write a M-L script for the Golden Era Democrats to lap up, for future pointing toward Art-for-Silver's abject poverty requests for donation.

Haw haw haw. Such a funny man.

Funny, as in queer.

And queer, as in....

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Leave it to the 6-headed dragon to completely misunderstand what is the "altRight" and in so doing, lead the 12 actual followers to a point of mass confusion, where reality is concerned.

Apparently this may be "satire" where Chris Floyd is actually Richard "B is for Bottom" Spencer, and he's mocking himself with a caricature?

No, not really.

Spencer lacks the humor; Floyd lacks the essence. They do share a very feminine perspective which occasionally pretends at Verbal Masculinity, however corporal its underlying femininity may be.

Both are Ernst Rohms at heart.

For all we know, Floyd lives at Spencer's little Bohemian Grove - Rockies Posting compound and merely pretends, via the sock puppet Rich Cast-a-Line, to be Europe-based!

One thing's for sure, not a single one of 'em knows what's going on, nor does any of 'em know how to tell you that situation. Each does have a bit of the siren's song in him, a bit of the cold-reader's gift for saying what you want to hear by way of confidence mark setup.

Paul Behrer said...

More likely that Tarzie is Spencer, in reality -- but as far as semiotics & symbolism go, there is a cluster of gaseous clouds, almost a nebula, who basically emit the same message through different appeals.

Floyd & Spencer appeal to the same snarky gay man perspective that Tarzie uses as fuel, the same one only thinly buried beneath Chalupa's uberPoetaster facade, the same one that Chuck's "6-headed dragon" reference embodies.

Anyone who thinks that Taki's Divine Smoking Lounge is different in core essential appeal from Tarzie's Prancing Moneyfap really is too busy following the DvsR fake contest, and is gulled by that stupid Extravert's Folly impulse.

Hell, there's even a chance that Tarzie is Milo Breitbartopoplodiplophobiapolous. Same swish in the dish.

Double-hell, it's almost like this blog was onto something when it warned its readership, hyperbolically and rooted in absurdity, about the trend of the Gay Jew Socialist taking the fore and dominating social media.

Chet Redweld said...

Double-hell, it's almost like this blog was onto something when it warned its readership, hyperbolically and rooted in absurdity, about the trend of the Gay Jew Socialist taking the fore and dominating social media.

So if I examine this blog's history -- the values focus especially -- and then look at how this blog's satirical targets have behaved during the same timeframe, I think I begin to see the pattern that gave rise to you guys saying

sock puppets always knew - forever!

Every time they've been smacked down by 1 or more of this blog's authors, the satire targets have followed up with an essay (or 3 or 10) in which they pretend to have never held the views that only just weeks previously were advocated with great socialist vigor!

And equally, each time, the target blog has a comment thread with lots of "yeah, you're a genius! never saw this before! thank you SOOOOOO much!" foolish sock puppet script writing.

Apparently boredom is really really horrible when found thriving among the academy's clerk pool.