Wednesday, March 29, 2017

a real barrel of monkeys here!

Review - 2017 Norco Optic Carbon 29 from Vital MTB Test Sessions
Surviving Tucson's terrain shows that this one is trail capable, but it's a little more cross country than what is quickly becoming the norm.

I have to pity people who never can ride trails on anything steeper than 66 HA and 6" travel. Especially since everyone at TeeGeeAre, spankmonkey, BridalMTB tells us that mountain biking has "progressed" and actual trails that were not built to "flow" (BMX track emulation) standards are not "modern" and any fool jamoke can ride a "flow" trail on a road bike!

The evolution of BridalMTB to fast twin of fapBlister Queer's Review, in which image is sold before substance, has been a wonder to witness.

So to translate: if you don't know how to ride a bike, then the Norco Optic Carbon 29 will not make you feel like a winner when you encounter any trail outside the modern "flow" paradigm. You'll actually have to know how to ride a bike in varied terrain, and the good clowns at BridalMTB will do their damnedest to lobby for more modern "flow" trail conversion of all existing trails everywhere.

--C.F. Oxtrot, ancient athlete who rides a singlespeed cyclocross bike on his local trails without insult, injury, or pathetically slow pace. The latter means: yeah, I pass MTBs on descents, even "enduro" bikes. Because the "modern" enthusiast doesn't have any skill, he just has The Bike to Kill All Bikes.

1 comment:

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

In 2 years, BridalMTB will be talking about how everyone's "overbiked" with 66HA and 6" travel both ends, because all trails will be "flow" and the only bike needed will be a $175 BMX from Dan's Comp blowout bin, or the junker you pinched from outside Plonk when you and your hipster bros were out sousing and cavorting during finals week.

In the interim, wizard-like Kevin (((kidwoo on TGR and ridemonkey))) Bazar will cry about how you can't slap a berm with a 'cross bike.

Poor midget, can't ride a bike in sync with its limitations, always has to try to break the poor machine, as if that will prove he's not an arrogant midget.

Same gig as the fapBlister fools, imagining they need "burly" skis because they don't actually know how to ski!