Thursday, February 25, 2016

demand you did, supply we do!

Domahidy Designs conducted extensive twitter, facebook, pinkbike, NSMB, ridemonkey, vitalmtb research and learned exactly which Wish List features were most common for people's Dream Bikes.  Rather than examine the collected dreams and fantasies for utility as a whole, Domahidy worked diligently to put all the fancies into one bike. 

For this, we should praise Domahidy.  Consumers who ride 1x/week for 45 mins/ride and have been doing so for at least three months now, they know best what makes a good bicycle.  They've mastered all the relevant skills already, and it's the stagnant nature of bicycle technology that holds them back from true mastery -- which, of course, would be demonstrated by Video of the Quarter-Hour honors on editworld.com.

Rather than improving the unreliable parts offered by various makers (designers?) in the industry, or making durability a priority for long-term user enjoyment, we should honor the childish sci-fi fantasies of people who will stop riding MTBs as soon as the next outdoor lifestyle fad is pitched by Outside or NatGeo: Adventure or The Van Life blog. 

In order to make sure honest, reliable frame and component manufacturers are still around in 2020, we have to demand useless fads every year, and complain about how there isn't enough progress in MTB technology even when we get a new fad or three each product season.  The only way to get the suitable amount of progress in the sport is to have product weeks.  52 opportunities/year to innovate, improve, and drive the technology to meet the demands of today's riders.

Who, tomorrow, may be used-to-be-MTBer-who-now-does-something-else. 

Which means we're not progressing the sport fast enough.

Maybe it needs to progress every day.  365 product iterations.  Y2015W12D4 Guyde Brakes are so much better than the Y2015W11D2 model!  Way better.  I can't believe you're still running the Y2015W11D2.  Do you know how many iterations have progressed the brake since then?  What are you doing, trying to kill the sport?

Wednesday, February 24, 2016

the tugboat returns



from the album Float

[Aesop Rock]
Well, so we meet again
(He said he's grown spiritually since the last one)

Ok, this is the dawning of the book of bitter aspects
Where the jackals sit and watch the pedagogues last flesh
Poison functions accompanied by six armor-clad
Black horse and buggy mechanism
Tugged a portion of my severed vision
The gathering of loose ends in a bucket
Wit a shoestring budget
Every man's got a field to plow (I know that now)
But it's like, man I really can't afford the oxen
Fee fie et cetera
I smell the warm blood of the bill collector knockin'
I get awkwardly sturdy with a frigid liquid backbone
I get swept in the pressure cooker tryin' to paddle back home
I get sprung with a vibe and alliance of clean intention
By eclipsing doom midigons hatched to bash these picket fences
Now I'll attend the wedding of the open sword festering
Now when the groom presents the ring
The bride commence to blistering
This textbook magnificently crude
Prototype king berserker modulate
Serve the vertical thirst, burst horizontal
Treasure, loose cannons span the starbit power
The clippership dipped in truth famine pressure
Cabin fever meter pegging ludicrous
Beautiful cartoon trooper
swallow brutal futility with a teaspoon full of sugar
I rock ready aim fire, while y'all rock ready fire aim
Then blame the stationary target when the prey escapes the frame
Merit badge marksman, a poacher, it's all the same
So I lay across the woods perpendicular to the grain

[Chorus] [rapped in doubletime]
I gotta be a big bang, gotta be
Never wanna be hear a probably, I wanna see or hear a "Yes sir, sir"
YES SIR!
Armed with a tone, cross, sword to the bone
Warn the other brothers that was born forlorn
Big bang, sharper than a big dick
Hotter than a tunnel of big dreams that think big things
I'ma burn with this little light of mind
and a prime concern to earn thanks, I'ma be a big bang
[repeat except 1st line is "I wanna be a big bang, gotta be"]

[Aesop Rock]
I'm just a survivor of the woolly mammoth population
Bottle neck effect, sorta born deaf
Alien of shallow alchemy
If you gonn' metamorph the base metal to precious
Might as well steal from the rich, bewitch the peasants
I'm floating the homing pigeon out hell's kitchen window
Left an SOS infested bottle nestled in his grip so
With a prayer circle release party and hardy wild bellow
I observed him fly ten feet then dropped the bottles to the devils
Fertile circle turn pertal crescent via bad investment
Despised every second, but I GUESS I LEARNED MY LESSON!
If I made an angel in the snow for every rotted victim
There'd be wings to float this mothership up out the goblin system
Sticky panoramic contaminate planet
In conjunction with phantom assumption
Gutterbug alumnus candidates
Well, I promise you I man the lighthouse
Just to help guide in your ship
If you promise to help pull this hook out my lip (bitch)
Godspeed, straitjacket and ragged approach
To circle suns via folklore pollutants to rhyme strictly
From a BC generation disgust
Community movement alluding to a
"No blood given, no recognition"
Life matter, I was us up all night with a rusty hammer
Trying to build a fence around these magic beans my dreams have gathered
But uh, that certain lack of avail
I sail a choppy lie with buoyancy like a bucket of rocks (a bucket of rocks)

[Chorus 2x]

[Aesop Rock]
Big bang, bi-big bang
It's gettin' bigger by the second
Check it

Ok, I'm here to rock the tugboat and bare the others farewell
I shook the buddy system wisdom 'til the similairs repel
I sell a barrel of spirit to dummy dimwits syndicate jackals
I'm broken arrow to the fuckin bone (broken poem)
I don't really believe in God
But God, I'm scared to death of God?!?
I swear to God, I never meant to spill the beans
Nor tear the pod
It's like I hike an acre unimpressed
And slept on the sabre's edge
Enough times to splice anti-Christ's favorite pledge
I wanna know myself
Sorta solo sheep amidst wolves
And still my shepherd can't administer the proper push and pulls
I push the ghouls to man overboard
Pull the bulls onto my sword
And buckle down in a corner chair with a round table floor
Got an angel on my left shoulder, a devil on the polar
Got a mug a frigid, got a mug a solar, sliiidde over
The recipe's design unplug the appetite continuity
By stitching together esteemed congruents (beautifully)
I peel back carts and lodge Greek physics in the chambers
Cauterized the wound and heads like "Gimme gimme something major"
Road side prophetic, ascend well
enveloped in a mummy ribbon system
Blistering in a wishing well
BIG BANG!


lyrics according to urbanlyrics.com

Monday, February 22, 2016

whatever you need to tell yourself, pal


Nigel West Dickens:
GMO Alarmist Nassim Taleb Backs Out of Debate. I Refute Him Anyway.
It's a shame that an economist and an economist-who-thinks-he's-a-scientist can't agree on a matter of pure science. The thinks-he's-a-scientist variant, Nigel West Dickens, doesn't even understand science but he's arguing it anyway, distorting things all along the way.

Question:  What does Ron Bailey know about genetics, other than what economists tell him on the subject?

Answer:  Nothing.  But let's not focus on science or genetics in the context of GMOs.  Let's focus instead on economics.  That's the real science, right Nige?

Tyler Cowen sees no problems with genetic tampering

Ron Bailey would be red-faced and spittle-casting if a geneticist (M.D. + Ph.D. working strictly in research, not someone paid by Monsanto to justify GMOs) were to opine authoritatively on economics issues or what Bailey might call the virtues of capitalism, but hypocrisy and a lack of intellectual integrity don't bother Bailey when it's Bailey being the hypocrite or intellectual fraud!

If there's anywhere Ron Bailey has "refuted" geneticists, I'd like to see it.  Presently it's absent from his entries at the Silent T, but maybe he's got an airtight, slam-dunk refutation hiding up his shirt sleeve.

Oh wait!  Here's my irrefutable refutation right here!

Ron Bailey's science chops consist of little more than telling an audience of greed-head science ignorami precisely what they want to hear.  That's a far cry from science chops in the world of science, but in the world of Silent T Journalism, it's like being the world's foremost authority on genetics.

it's the era, the period, the bubble

Originally Posted by Hitman

I demoed the monster 88 a couple weeks ago at Alta and i absolutely loved the ski.

It's weird: great ski, but we haven't sold a single pair. Not even a phone call. What is Head's marketing doing?

If you read around the forums where people discuss ski gear, you find one consistent theme: "the guys at Blister said ________" -- and then a whole raft of praises duplicating what the Blister review said.

Meanwhile, a Blister review is all about the reviewer, and not at all about the ski. The reviewer tells us what expensive destination was the place of testing, which hallowed runs saw testing action, and then usually a remark or two about whether you can "throw them around" like skis are hand grenades or dirt clods in a dirt clod war among school kids. Generally a Blister review is like a blog post at a "mountain lifestyle" blog where the blogger is trying to impress you with his or her outdoorsiness and lifestyling superiority.

I haven't read a single Blister review that told me anything useful about a ski. But they are indeed great for lifestyling, for creating the image you want to present when standing in a lift line and people are checking out your skis just like you check out everyone else's skis to see if they are more core than you. Because really, it's about what image your skis present, and not whether the skis are a good match for your abilities.

*****************

A typical review at Blister will say a given ski is "better for intermediates and/or slow speeds," which is, in the modern lifestyling era, a kiss of death to those who read Blister for opinions to assimilate and then at proper times regurgitate.

A good skier can describe why a given ski doesn't work for him/her.  Saying "it folds up at speed" doesn't tell me anything but this:  you want us to think you are so fast and powerful that no ski is burly enough for your bad self. 

Folds at speed when doing what

That's something Blister reviews can't manage.  They're more about persuading you that if you want to look like a Mountain Badass, please imitate a Blister reviewer's statements about a ski.  They're more about building an image-based cult. 

This is the fallout of the facebook/twitter/instagram era:  it's more important to have a key catch-phrase or still image that depicts your lifestyle, than it is to be informative, knowledgeable (personally, as opposed to being able to mouth the hip phrases that are valued among the lifestylers), and possessed of subtle perceptions that can tell you, for example,

The skis are somewhat soft in the shovel, torsionally speaking, and you can't just get cooking at 45mph and then expect the shovel to guide you powerfully into a turn, nor can you count on the shovel to establish a solid arc mid-turn.  You have to ski them gently, not ham-fistedly.  If you do that they will support your goals.

I've watched skiers make fantastic turns at speed on skis which, in their time-currency, were branded and sold as early-intermediate skis.  Such demonstrations show a skier who is in tune with his/her skis, able to work them, and not make excuses about why he/she can't make them work.

What do you have to do with the skis to make them work?  Can you describe that, Blisterboys?

No, I didn't think so.

Intermediates, pretending to be experts, because they can say the right things that sound informed and wise, but which are backed by nothing substantial. 

It's all about the image.

***************

If you're bothering to test a ski and then observe the ski's performance and then collect your thoughts and then write them up,

don't you think it's best if your review focuses on the ski, and what the ski requires of the skier,

rather than whether you are too badass for this particular ski?

Sunday, February 21, 2016

relevant misleaders who "matter"

Gnome Chomp-Ski isn't a tiny person in some European fable who eats skis.

Rather, he's one of the leading misleaders of the "left," a group of people who like to know nothing themselves and rely nearly exclusively on Appeals to Authority.  And the "authority" to whom they appeal most often --more often than appealing to Karl Marx, it must be said-- is Noam Chomsky.

Chomsky!  He ______________!

Chomsky!  He said ______________!

Chomsky!  Semiotics!  I don't understand semiotics so Chomsky MUST BE a genius!

Chomsky!  Linguistics!  I don't even know what "linguistics" is, is it a kind of pasta?  Anyway, if Chomsky is a professor and scholar in that field, he MUST BE a genius!

*************

Chomsky!

*************

If his name were John Smith and he was a Protestant, Roman Catholic or Mormon by faith and social group belonging status, he would NOT "matter" nor be thought a genius.

*************

Chomsky!

*************

If the best argument you have for the "important" status of Chomsky, for the proof that Chomsky "matters," is that the CIA investigated Chomsky:  please remind yourself that puts a lot of people in the GENIUS WHO MATTERS AND IS VITALLY IMPORTANT category, many of whom you probably dismiss out of hand for their reactionary and/or corporate status.

If it takes you thousands of words to show why Chomsky MATTERS AND IS VITALLY IMPORTANT, perhaps you should show us what he's done that hasn't been done by others before him or contemporaneous with him.

You may want to show why helping America's foremost weapons research facility (MIT) makes him completely not "corporate".

Also, it may behoove you to tell us why, whenever the Gnome begins gnawing at skis, he tells only 65-75% of the truth on any given sociopolitical matter, and withholds that 25-35% of the picture which may cause people to doubt Chomsky's own veracity, integrity, sincerity, or sanity.

Perhaps it could help resolve the question of authenticity if you explain why Chomsky apologizes always for technological means of warfare, torture, psychological manipulation and espionage, while saying all technology is inherently good, but sometimes is undone by nefarious people.

When you've finished, you may anoint yourself as the Pope of Chomskyism, and don the phallic cap and grab hold of the sceptre before ascending to the throne of the Righteousest Religion on Earth:  Chomskyism!


--Harold Caidagh, always wary of people who make gods of mere men.

gimme some lies, SUPER-SIZE!

Rich Kastelein/Arthur Silber/Chris Floyd:

It's true that those ranchers' plight was given as the original reason for the Bundy seizure of the nature reserve, but soon this was dropped in favor of an emphasis on opening up federal lands for purchase and control by wealthy property-owners.

At least you got the first part correct, even if the "dropped in favor of..." switches tactics to outright lying.

If you believe federal lands are not controlled by wealthy people, you don't know much about federal lands. The Bundy family and their affinity-couched supporters aren't stalking horses for some "corporate" (or whatever word you'd use, Rich/Chris/Arthur) interest. You really can't understand anything unless it fits your narrow perspective, can you?

Of course we consistently mock Chris/Rich/Arthur for their ignorance, especially the ignorance which pretends at holism and empathy like the lying part of the block quote above. People whose engagement with others is limited to online interaction, people whose understanding of rural NW people and lives is limited to projection of "reactionary" sentiment, people whose understanding (cough cough) of others is limited to dismissal-as-subhuman -- yes, these are the people to whom Arthur/Rich/Chris is singing. Operatically.

Please send money to Arthur (which goes to Rich/Chris, writing as "Arthur Silber" a/k/a Art-for-Silver). Keep a sane voice of lying obfuscation in a position to keen, wail and shriek at "reactionaries". It's not enough that Phylter and Grandma Sheila can offer their whack. We need Chris/Rich, as Arthur, to carry the day.

Friday, February 19, 2016

like didier cuche

I'm sure all it takes is a couple of KOMs on Strava on your weekly training rides, plus limiting yourself to only 12 beers/week.

This guy is definitely trying to get worshiped for his insane workouts, and hoping that intimidates his rivals.  He doesn't know the real formula.  He probably rides bikes that have steeper than 66HA and less than DH knobbed tires.  No way he could be a great bike handler or fast on the descents.  Just a roadie, who grabs his Old School Geometry bike for the occasional race.


--Karl Franz Ochstradt, who's never won a bike race, ever.  Forever.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

who the fuck cares?


 High Egoslavian Holy Day, this the standard Archie Ammons post: h/t self-portrait and interview with Ammons. Here's a profile of Ammons by David Lehman. His 1993 book length Garbage is quite possibly the single volume of poetry I've read most often: ask me and if I like you I will buy you a copy. If I played My Sillyass Des....


Yeah. SO WHAT?

Gosh, Jeff "invisible reference librarian who is e-buddies with WFMU" Popovich sure does like to tell us his innermost secret heroes, as if to say, "..and since I'm such an expert, they should be your heroes too."

Poor Jeffy-Weffy-Ding-Dong. If he lacks a blog and twitter outlet for his "expertise," he may have to realize that nobody gives a flying fuck what Jeff likes in books, poets, authors, musicians, cats, wives, daughters, daughter's college, daughter's boyfriend.

It's like he sees himself as Dear Abby, but for middle-aged proto-hipsters who still can't accept that at age 15, they were not a Kool Kid.

It's like he sees himself as a DJ at WFMU, but his playlists would suck, and they would kill donations. The eager listener group for Same Old supposed-to-be-cutting-edge Shit like Part, Beefheart/VanVliet, Swans is about 2 or 3 people, and one of them is JWDD himself.

Arbiter of Taste, but only in his own mind.

Sad Sack? Yes, in everyone's mind.

"But my shrink told me to act like a celebrity."

"Aaaaahhh... well. Okay. Who's your shrink?"

"Bernie Sanders."

"Bernie's not a headshrinker, but he is a witch doctor. OOO EEE OOH AAH AAH TING TANG WALLA WALLA BING BANG."

"Okay, then. It's Tarzie."

"You are your own counselor. Terrific. And, explains a lot. Thanks."


--Harold Caidagh, who is relieved and glad he's not Jeff Popovich.

Wednesday, February 17, 2016

sorry, but you didn't, and you shouldn't say you did

Eeny Huelsh:

I used to teach negotiation to MBA students and lawyers seeking CLE credit.

What a brazen liar.  Eeny's never taught anyone but his blogaudience of Marxist-lite schmendricks.  And I don't really categorize under "teaching" the act of misreading other people's motives, or the act of cherry-picking the details marshaled to martial purpose.

Good thing the Ding-Dong believes him and regularly cites him.  Gosh, that Chalupa is kayfabe embodied, isn't he?

Meta, Loretta!  You too, Henrietta!

I don't know up from down, but I do know when someone says the right kind of Marxist-lite BS, the kind that makes me feel superior for being a lifelong Red.

I guess if Glenn Greenwald can claim specialty in Constitutional Law, Ian Welsh can claim he teaches negotiation in a formal setting for pay.  The question I'd have for Professor Welsh is this:  where did you teach such things, under whose aegis, and what was the content?

I don't imagine many Marxist-lite ADR theories work out there in America where the driving economic system isn't Marxist and the disputes arising thereunder assume a landscape that is a polar opposite of Marxism.  Trying to settle a dispute with Marxism is sure to continue the dispute rather than resolve it.  But I'm sure Professor Welsh could rectify my mistaken appraisals, since he's a blogger and I'm only a lawyer and I've only resolved hundreds of disputes myself.

...but Krakauer said it was all true, and built quite a sensational story around it!

Oops

Looks like Jon was lying, or at best, believing what he wanted to be true, rather than what was the actual story.

watchagonnadu now, ya moe-ron?

This has to be the most laughable thread I've read in a long time.

These dorks think that Big Data (i.e., a bit of software that compares MTB geometry features among various frames) tells them all kinds of new things about "modern geometry" and "reach" and "stack."

Moe-rons,

these "new" data points like "reach" and "stack" aren't new at all.  It's your geometric ignorance, and your lack of accurate perceptions when riding, and warehouse of mistaken conclusions about geometry and what you "perceived" with a given geometric point (i.e. HA or TT actual or TT virtual) in the past.

You idiots refused to ride any 29 bikes in the 2000s decade because they had 70 or 71 HA and you assumed that meant Instant Endo.  Wouldn't even ride the bikes, would you?  Wouldn't even trust anyone who said HA alone doesn't dictate bike behavior, would you?

Now you've learned you were mistaken about that, but somehow now also you're confused because "modern geometry" has much slacker HAs and you are terrified of being NOT "modern" because as Canadians you are progressive and desire modernity and technological sophistication.

Your real question should be this:

"Am I mistaken when I collate data points and assume I know what they mean, even when I don't?"

Tuesday, February 16, 2016

goo goo goo!

Spomer-Martin-Turman:

Alliteration in captions/titles doesn't dispel your lousy writing.

Alliteration is a little game usually learned around 5th grade, employed until stale (by 6th grade it's stale), and then left alone for other juvenile minds to plunder.

You can just hear those "journalists" now, when hunting-and-pecking their next alliterating sentence or title:

"Man, look at that.  All the words start with the same letter!  How creative am I?  Maybe I should be writing a novel!"

No, I don't think so.  Unless by "novel" you mean a modernization of "The Little Engine that Could."  That's about your speed. 

Shame you can be so quick on a bike, but so slow at the matter of composition in the English language.

Monday, February 15, 2016

late in the game and they broke out the crowd-pleaser, the hit-maker, the broad appeal




The layers of relevance to this blog, and the current slide pitch sway and wooze of American society/culture/divisiverhetoric are too many to ignore, and so we present this lesser (musically, if not lyrically) item from the BOC songbook.

Your Personal Brand! It's what matters!


--Harold Caidagh, apparently chosen as serendipity's vector this morning.

more more more and it's all free so let's get it done for progress and the children who are our future!

Anonymous tipster left a comment not meant for publication (commenter's wish  --Ed.) which contained a suggestion that UNSF work up a t-shirt design sure to sell millions in the run-up to POTUS16.

Having little inclination beforehand to consider the matter and owning little free time this morning, we undertook the design in a hasty manner, by committee, and came up with this:


FRONT:

 ...of course I'm a 
PROGRESSIVE!



BACK:

That's why I'm so
PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE!



Made from 100% pre-shrunk Organic Cotton picked by Ivy League graduates at a pay rate of $75/hr under the banner of a non-profit co-op.

Sizes available are:

Baby 0-4
Child Polygender XS-XXL
Adult Polygender M-XXXXXXXXL

Prices:

Baby - $95.00
Child - $125.00
Adult - $165.00

Special Orders:

Baby Shirts -- For an additional $50.00, we can make your Baby's shirt resist spills, drools, vomit, finger-paint by treating it with a USEPA- and USDA-Certified-as-Green liquid barrier.  This is the best way to make sure your little darling never besmirches our glorious leader, our game-changing POTUS-to-be.

Child and Adult Shirts for Well-Endowed Females or Males Undergoing Gender Reassignment With An Aim Toward Large Breastedness -- For an addditional $75.00, we can pre-stretch your shirt in the bust, to reduce distortion of our glorious leader, our game-changing POTUS-to-be.

All proceeds go to Feel the Bern 2016! Enterprises, a subsidiary of MoveOn.org

Sunday, February 14, 2016

you're a pathetically small --homuncular, really-- idiot who does nothing but REACT while accusing others of reactionary behavior

So you're happy Tony Scalia died in his sleep, because to you he was a fat reactionary conservatard repthuglican misogynist cis-het-patriarchist homophobe who was Corporate.  And you gloat gleefully at his death.

Bully for you.  Team spirit, etc.  Right? 

This is an easy position for you to hold, project, vomit, spew, gush, tweet.  You've spent a whole life Us vs Themming the world, and you have decades of experience heaping overdone vitriol and scathe upon the Thems you've encountered. 

Especially those Thems whom you've never met, who work in fields you know nothing about.

So naturally you hated Scalia, since you don't know the law and haven't ever met him.

Meanwhile you would place Ruth Bader Ginsburg on a high pedestal because she's one of your Usses, but Ruth had no issues with Tony and in fact was one of his best friends.

Good job.  You're small enough now that we could send you on a Fantastic Voyage.  I'm sure you'll use that microscopic status to climb into a new Them-hating vehicle and rev it for all it's worth.

Keep showing how little you know about the world outside Usville.  It's quite a display.

Saturday, February 13, 2016

eye raist bykz ennats gudonov

Seriously.

I raced bikes, so that means I'm a good writer.

Flip it, eh?  I'm a good writer, so that means I'll win bike races.

It's pretty stupid, isn't it?

But it explains this:

Yesterday we started with Andes Pacifico 2016. This year It will 5 day of pure mountain bike from the Andes Mountain to the Pacific Ocean in Chile. More than 10.000 meters drop in the 21 special stages will be what the riders will have to make to complete this adventure.

La Parva Ski Resort, received a total of 64 riders from around the world to compete in the 3rd version of Santa Cruz 2016 Pacific Andes by Montenbaik.
The Special Stage Valle Amarillo that started at 3500 meters was the initial test of the “Dakar" of mountain bikes after this and 4 other stages,the Chilean pilot from team Extreme Zone, Nicolas Prudencio stands as leader with a total time of 41 : 26.5, followed by the scottish Mark Scott with a solid stride.

Very close in third position is the Frenchman Francois Bailly - Maitre with 41.33.4, that is also fighting for a place on the podium. In fourth is the Chilean Milciades Jaque from Curico, after cutting his chain in the fifth special Lomas del Viento, despite this mishap is less than 1 minute from Prudencio.

Meanwhile in the ladies category 3 times world champion Tracy Moseley Britain achieves the first day, followed by the French Pauline Dieffenthaler with a time of 51.22.2.

With a total of almost 4000 meters of descent and 5 Special ends on the first day of competition in the Andes. For the second day waiting another 5 special on a rocky and dissolved squeezing the skills of each rider.

Nice work, 40something-with-a-7-yr-old's-command-of-English-language.  Explain those highlighted portions, will you?  Especially that random comma after "Resort" -- what's that about?

Between Sven Martin and Shawn Spomer, they might be able to get a D+ on a 4th grade English essay.  Kudos, kiddies.  You don't need better compositional or grammar skills because your audience is as ignorant as you.  Way to have and hold and pursue high standards, you mental midgets!

Friday, February 12, 2016

ho ho ho, mayor fatso!

John Engen paused while eating his 4th bearclaw of the morning coffee, and noted that California is modernizing way faster than Missoula.  Instantly, he grabbed his iPhone∞ and called Leigh Griffing to advise that it's time for Griffing to work with Klarryse L. Murphy, CPA of the Ravalli County department of finance, to ensure that western Montana has a suitably competing high speed rail system to guarantee that Missoula residents can access the southernmost end of the Bitterroot Valley in under 15 minutes.  Certainty of continual strip-mall development along the rail corridor will ensure progress for generations!  Mark Edgell already is on board, as is Jackson Contracting Group.

This will be my Falstaff Legacy!, cried Mayor Fatso.  No way is Mike Kadas going to be known as the most progressive mayor in Missoula history.  It's me!  I'm the man!  I'm progressive politics embodied!

Thursday, February 11, 2016

with which pattern have you made your kilt?

Personally, I would choose the Clan Wallace tartan.  The Wallace Clan motto is pro libertate.

Also, it might be able to claim among its members the deceased D.F. Wallace, who has been in the news lately thanks to the 20th anniversary of Infinite Jest.

Here's D.F. now (actually some time in 1993) with a slightly different take on "the news":

But when you talk about Nabokov and Coover, you’re talking about real geniuses, the writers who weathered real shock and invented this stuff in contemporary fiction. But after the pioneers always come the crank turners, the little gray people who take the machines others have built and just turn the crank, and little pellets of metafiction come out the other end. The crank-turners capitalize for a while on sheer fashion, and they get their plaudits and grants and buy their IRAs and retire to the Hamptons well out of range of the eventual blast radius. There are some interesting parallels between postmodern crank-turners and what’s happened since post-structural theory took off here in the U.S., why there’s such a big backlash against post-structuralism going on now. It’s the crank-turners fault. I think the crank-turners replaced the critic as the real angel of death as far as literary movements are concerned, now.

I suppose we can tolerate grudgingly the crank-turners, the emulators of what's hip at the moment. After all, without them, there would be no blogrolls that pretend to "admire" other bloggers who have in turn "admired" your own regurgitated hipness (and puked up without insight, please to remember!); there would be no Glenn Greenwald or Matt Taibbi or Chris Hedges; there would be no Will Ferrell or Steve Carrell or Jon Stewart or Bill Maher or Dane Cook or other lame uninventive-but-nonetheless-hugely-popular celebrity.

But you -- you, please, should go on with your formulaic lack of insight, your reliable absence of humor, your dependable restatements of what's obvious as though you were offering big revelations. You can always rely on the fact that someone, somewhere, finds dull-witted mediocrity a grand feast of intellectual treats.

Your smallness and your grey pallor are nothing to be ashamed of.  After all, you can probably lay claim to an Obamapostasy like Chalupa, which absolves you of any obligation to have or share insights.  You grasped the obvious well after you might have done if not so much a follower (and so devoid of original insight and so lacking in personal courage).

Poems on graph paper with tempera are what little grey people churn out because they can't come up with worthwhile poems.  So, please pay attention to the graph paper, the ALLCAPS, and the watercolor.  It's what makes the true artist stand apart from the me-toos.

 
--Karl Franz Ochstradt, possessed of brightness and a yeasty rise, but sadly not angelic.

Tuesday, February 2, 2016

a brittle thing, too much UV radiation for its photoreactivity to tolerate

Still providing comedy, the Silent T Commentariat:

Bailey gets a free pass on the precautionary principle--because he wrote a book attacking it.

Nigel West Dickens no more attacked successfully this principle than his namesake asserted accurately his product's scientific benefits in Red Dead Redemption. That he needed an entire book to "attack" something so simple reflects his lack of scientific chops and a perversion by the enticements of profit and comfort and ease and luxury. QEFTSG again, eh Nige?

Again the parallels: progressive Marxist-lite Corey Robin needs a whole book to misunderstand what he's called "reactionary thinking", and likewise Nigel West Dickens of the Silent T, Ron Bailey, needs an entire tome to misunderstand the precautionary principle. Those who know no humility have no need for precaution. Science and technology will fix any mistakes we might make presently or might have made previously. It's just physics!

Precautions?  I assure you we use the most scientific of methods!