Saturday, July 23, 2016

the daybreak zone

I suppose we should ask Chalupa what sorts of terrible, horrible, hateful, ignoble, reprehensible, deplorable, despicable things could be said about the EVIL REPTHUGLICANS and their "leading candidates."  What would Ding-Dong say?

He'd use a Star Trek meme, bro!  He'd reference an obviously disgusting alien race like the Triskelions and say "see, I told you!  the Triskelions always win!"

Which tells us nothing.  But it's an insider artiste / Kool Kids matter of secret knowledge.  So we're not supposed to "get it."  Only those with the JWDD/Chalupa secret decoder ring can translate the message.

I'm satirizing YOU, bro.

Because I thought you were Lefty when you were trolling.

Since I was too dumb to figure things out, it's YOUR fault.

Of course it is, Jeffrey.  You are indeed the most brilliant man-who-hates-masculinity-and-wants-to-be-gay-but-GOP-won't-let-him.


So you build a metaphoric Log Cabin at Chateau Crie-du-Chat, restyle yourself as an Urban Woodsman Hipster, go throw a frisbee at a metal pipe array (with chains) to feel BETTER NOW since you have a gay bro hookup spot next to the 8th tee and you return home, sphincter stretched and bloodied, once again relieved that you don't have to use your sex drive and penis with Earthgirl.  Those ugly, smelly vaginas don't really do it for you and never have.

Right Jeffrey?

or should I say,

Right Tarzie?

SCHWING!  I'm Ziggy Stardust!

Yeah, go cry in your borscht&matzoh soup, you sad bloodtank.

Not me.  I worship non-corporate artistes.

You think it's twilight -- for me.  But, no.

No, it's your dusk.

My day is dawning, poop chuter.

Coffee's brewing, bacon's in the skillet.

I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee, sit on the front porch and watch a few vampires fry in the sunlight.

Like Bill Kristol.

Oooh.  That smell.  It's definitely not Kosher.

I dunno, Billyboy.  What does cooking vampire smell like, anyway?  You're telling me vampires don't eat other vampires?  You've cooked a few humans in your time, Mister Batwing.  What did they smell like as they sizzled, popped and crackled?

-- Harold Caidagh, caul at the ready, shillelagh in hand, hurling away.


Chalupa, Lord Garth of the internet's Elba II said...

U sillie lewshay rettrowgrayed tomma hawken corporate whackkjawbb.

Heerz my prufes. Ryte heerz.

Paul Behrer said...

That's what Jeff's writing looks like if he doesn't have a spellcheck function.

True word artiste.

"Don't you like my (green) sun and (yellow) sky and (turquoise) clouds?," asked Jeffrey "fat Picasso" Popovich, Blegsylvania-renown visual artist, standing next to a 4'x6' canvas of pure abstraction.

Chalupa, Lord Garth of the internet's Elba II said...

My feewings awe huwt. I beeweeved da meeedeeeyah. Dis muss bee simpwee a co-inky-dink, wight?

Juss uh co-inky-dink.

Downt teww mee uddahwhy's. Haf eye wee mined-dead yew? Eye wuvv Kayte Booshe.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Incredible what spell-check and autocorrect can do these days, isn't it?

H.M. Lohmann said...

Why, I'm aghast! Truly, it is shocking!

Gutjahr is married to an Israeli politician Einat Wilf, who served as a member of the Knesset for Independence and the Labor Party.

Wilf served as a Foreign Policy Advisor to Vice Prime Minister Shimon Peres, a strategic consultant with McKinsey & Company in New York City and is a member of the President’s Conference Steering Committee.

In 2007, she ran for the presidency of the World Jewish Congress. However, she withdrew before the actual vote, and Ronald Lauder was elected president.

Estee's son became the President of the World Jewish Congress?

That's an incredible coincidence! Does he make and sell perfumes too?

Harold Caidagh said...

I think Hy missed something.

The journalist who happened to be Right Place Right Time for each of the Nice and Munich "nationalist right wing terror shootings" is named Goodyear and he's married to an Israeli politician.

The brazenness is a sign of collective recognition: it's about 4:45 AM and the sun's about to rise.

Grab & go, Team Hexagon. Grab & go.

Remember, some of us have to sizzle in order for Volkihar Clan to continue in its mission. Only the bravest are asked to fry. This is a time for bravery!

H.M. Lohmann said...


Now I'm red-faced.

Harold Caidagh said...

But with embarrassment, Hy.

Not with anger. Not like Jonathan Stuart Liebowitz.

Poor schmuck, people don't like being sucked dry by leeches, ticks, fleas, mosquitos or, especially, vampires. His ill-gotten gains to date (pay for lies, pay for incitement toward hatred) will have to sustain him after the Sun has risen.

Hope you got a nice coffin to sleep in, Jonny. Gonna be a long nap. If you're lucky, maybe El Al will transport the nap-box to your homeland, Israel, where you can be among people who act and think exactly like you, and you won't feel like a victim every waking moment.

What a sad, pathetic rice-dick putz Jon Liebowitz is.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

ein klein schmeckel

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

So, Lord Harkon won't be getting Auri-El's bow?

You know, all they have to do is be like Serana. Serana's nothing like her father.

I tell you, those TES story writers are some clever bastards.

Serana would integrate into society, not making a deal at all about being from the Volkihar Clan, would not make a big deal about being a vampire, would not imagine everyone hates her because she's a vampire, would not constantly divide the world into me vs them, would not be a dirty-tricker because the me vs them makes her a cornered frightened animal with bared fangs and raised hackles who treats every incoming visitor or neighbor as if a mortal threat.

You notice this when Serana travels with you. Her only "otherness" is that she doesn't like being out in sunlight. But she doesn't sit there and complain about how others can handle sunlight and/or say, what's wrong with them since they can?

Such a simple thing, but apparently the Lord Harkon path is just too irresistible.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

So, who saw the twitter exchange about wikileaks/DNC between Squadra Michele testa "Mike Flugennock" and Jon "honorary WASP cuz I went Ivy & worked for Fatty Moore" Schwarz?

This blog has always round-housed one-punched Schwarz, the most unfunny kneejerk Marxopwog around.

Historically this blog used to taunt Squadra Michele over extended periods, whereas at Schwarzland typically Jonny would begin deleting our comments since they revealed what a fool, naif and uncomic Jonny is.

It's hilarious how these dorks think the Bern is better than Dog-Faced Hillary in any way. I guess his "socialist" self-label is the only thing that matters to "real Leftists" like these dorks.

They're as naive as the metrotarians who only care about the liberty of gay men to fuck whomever/whatever they want, and the liberty of such gay men to buy and smoke weed, and the liberty of these stoned gay men to turn their bodies into Steve Austin circa 21st Century and live an interplanetary eternal life.

In other words, they're just as deluded and just as latched onto a fantasy as a bunch of equally childish yet "right wing" morons.

So what they have going for them is being NOT republican and NOT libertarian and NOT rightwing.

I guess if you don't have anything positive to say about yourself you may as well emphasize what you are NOT.

Mickey Nightplow, if you and Jonny think the Bern could ride this wave of anti-Dogface to a November win, and beyond that, turn it into the Gruppo Socialismo sea-change you imagine possible in America, you're even stupider and less funny than I'd already concluded. See, I already had you on par with Dane Cook and Will Ferrell. What I'm saying is, you're about to sink down to hang out with Carrot Top.

And yes, I know you're going to say "hah heh ho! CATFISHED you BRO! we're actually not Leftists at all, we're transhumanist post-corporate Trekkists!" and by doing so imagine you're played your trump card and won the hand.

Just don't lay any money down for that hand, shitbird.