Tuesday, July 5, 2016

Jeff Popovich wants your admiration but earns your disdain

Noticed my latest pseudo-wisdom offerings?

I'm still pretending I've always known everything.

That's why I've been UberDonkey for 35 years.

When voting D I knew Rs were worse.

In 2015 I started pretending I hate the Ds now too.

But only the ones Corey Robin or billmon tell me it's okay to hate.

I still think Glenn Greenwald and Edward Snowden are heroes.

Though I hate Hillary now.

Until it's Kool Kid to like her again, then I I'll do that.

I pretend I'm Vince McMahon to Blegylvania's WWF.

Can't you see the brilliance of my neverending kayfabe?

For example: I predict that next week, I'll have known all along.

Whatever's new next week, I knew already.

My omniscience is why I always vote D. 

Everyone knows the Kool Kids are D.

and the Koolest Kids say DNC = rightwing, but still vote D!

So I'm just gonna keep blaming RIGHTWING ASSHOLES

...for everything done by Ds...

because the true D is M/L commie red, Fred!

I'm so Marxist I voted D for 35 years.

Every Marxist who votes D nudges the party toward nirvana.

In 500 years, we'll be 22.7% Marxist in the USA.

As long as my genius strategy gets followed, that is.

HOLYFUCK am I ever funny as FUCK!?!

Oh.  You're not an artist?

Run along now!  buh-buyyyyyyy!


Maybe some day, Jeff Popovich will tell us what's so funny about him continually pretending he knew a politically relevant fact forever ago when his own blog shows that as recently as 6 months back, he didn't know anything.

"See, this is where you're gonna crack up:  I find myself once again the idiot because, for example, I liked Bill and Hillary and so I thought Hillary would be great in 2016 until Bernie popped up to mess with my mind.  Bernie's more Socialist, so I get more Kool Kids points if I pump preen prime and puff The Bern -- but I've always known that the Socialist can't win so I can't earnestly fluff Bernie because I have to put my heavy voice of DC/MoCo Political Genius behind the idea that despite my 35 years of being a rent boy for Team Donkey, I know and always have known that the Donkeys are filthy capitalists who would never be allowed to survive despues de la Revolucion once my Kool Kids on Gruppo Socialismo swing into action and knock the capitalist pigs off their filthy greedy pedestals."

Yeah.  That sure is funny.

What did you do, Jeff?  Watch Steve Carrell on The Office and decide, "man if I can be like that character, people will find me hilarious!" ?

Nope.  If you were as smart as me you'd know what I did.

Come on, Jeff.

Nobody's as smart as you.

You were the first kid in your neighborhood to hear Cheap Trick.

You were the first kid in your 2d grade class to know who Andre the Giant was.

You must be omniscient.  You have a knack for being at the forefront of every meaningless trend in irrelevant forms of low art/bad entertainment.

Like now -- you're so clearminded that you know it's all a gag, because Corporate.

Also, because reactionary.



It's been a pleasure seeing Jeff Popovich portraying Trigglypuff in 2016, and before that, anticipating the arrival of Trigglypuff with Jeff's history of continually bleating like a lamb in the abbatoir.

HOLYFUCK! what kind of world am I leaving Planet?

What you should be asking, Jeff, is how badly did you (and others who think like you or were persuaded to think like you) fuck things up for Planet by putting more emphasis on being a Kool Kid from your age 15 teen clique, than on doing what's the most humane thing -- which is treating everyone like a fellow human, even the ones who might not think Arvo Part's a genius or believe the bullshit about "gender preference" being displayed by pre-pubescent kids or who might think abortion is, y'know, murder.

Someone disagreeing with you doesn't mean you're going to die, Jeff.

Someone disagreeing with you doesn't mean you need to kill that person, Jeff.

It does, however, call upon your ability to be the holistic, kind, thoughtful, wise, insightful and humane person you have pretended to be for over 15 years of internet activity.

--Harold Caidagh, who thinks you're the most absurd case of progressive / leftist narcissism anywhere.  And in a world full of Lena Dunhams and Tarzies, that's a big accomplishment, you Ding-Dong.


Jeff Popovich's feces-filled adult diaper said...


I'm secretly a neo-Rxn follower of radical right-wing anarchist capitalist ideology and the Head Mitochondria of our local Cell.

You should be able to discern this from the high comedy I've had on offer for 15 years. Only someone from my extremely fringe ideology could be a genius, and so I must be a genius since I'm from that ideology.

I've been right about you all along. I always knew you were a simple redneck who hates everyone and everything that isn't a straight white narrow-minded male or a stupid pre-feminist Servant to a Cis-Het-Shitlord of terrifying Republican outlook.

I assumed I knew everything about you and you've always proved me to be correct. Everything you do proves that I was right about you. And, of course, everything you do proves that I'm a genius who plays you like a puppet on a string. Dance, cis-het-shitlord puppet! Dance you cuck!

Paul Behrer said...

Such a Walter Mitty.

Makes Tarzie look a piker.

Makes Glenn Greenwald look a choirboy.

Makes Noam Chomsky look honest.

Jeff Popovich, who hates himself so much he's required to act omniscient and superior toward everything and everyone.

In another 6 months he'll be reduced to some much more debasing level, like masturbating on vine or self-photographing with shit semen and piss smeared all over himself for instagram.

But he's doing it all for art -- or, at least, what he assumes is behind all the "art" he "admires" thanks to Kool Kids telling him to "admire" it.

He redefines schmuck.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

those reminiscence passages referring to Hillaryite Colleague with disdain and reproach are pathetic. Jeff acts like seeing 55% of the picture to Colleague's 45% of the picture is some gigantic feat.

I guess you have to be that way in order to avoid thinking about the 45% that you don't know yourself, because you're ideologically a Kool Kid and can't imagine anything not Kool-Kid-approved being true.






Jeff at fifteen: WHAT IS THAT SHIT ON THE RADIO? IT SUCKS. (off-screen: "Jeff, that's Fairport Convention, they're an important English folk-rock band.") I MEAN, IT SUCKS ME OFF BRO!



Harold Caidagh said...

It's the Jeff Popovich Comedy Hour!


(pear-shaped Jeff waddles onto the stage)

(sheepishly shuffle-waddles to mic stand)

(cautiously grabs mic and puts it next to his asshole)



(he pauses)

BETTER NOW! (in unison with a great majority of the audience)

Hey let me ask you good people something!

What do you call a 1/25th scale house that you put in your back yard for the family pooch?

(he pauses)



(crowd goes wild with mimicry, "a-kook-kook-kook-kooks" everywhere)

Hang on a minute folks, I gotta rub one out!

(reaches into his pants and masturbates for 146 seconds until ejaculation)


(resurgence of crowd hysteria)

Let me tell you good people, that you should never try to stick your tongue into a light bulb socket. But your dick? Go right ahead, I do it all the time! ALL-THE-TIME!


(women begin climbing onto stage, pawing at Popovich while undressing themselves, muttering "you are Svengali! you are Svengali! a-kook-kook-kook-kook!")

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Jeff Popovich and Kevin Bazar might be related.

Both swing for the fences with that 7th grade humor, and pretend they're mocking "stupid" people with that schtick.

Both have a self-impression re intellect, insight, wisdom that is about 500% of reality.

Paul Behrer said...

At least Popovich has the pseudo-excuse that with a early 20s daughter, he's "obliged" to stay "relevant" to "youth culture" and so his juvenile "humor" is his best attempt at relating to Planet as if he were just another idiot boy who wants to fuck her but not spend time with her otherwise.

In Bazar's case, it's just the fact that he's a spoiled rich kid who tries desperately to convince his online fan club that he's dirt-poor and buys 25,000 USD worth of outdoor gear each year with money people give him simply because he's so funny.

Both hate themselves a shit-ton; both live Walter Mitty lives to compensate; both are nobodies in meatspace and so must imagine selves as Somebodies Online.

H.M. Lohmann said...

I just want to know why all these online writers sound/write alike:


Michael J. Smith
owen paine
Fred Bethune
anne shew

at Archdruid Report:

John Michael Greer
and every single "commenter"

everywhere on the internet:


and at Chris Floyd's:

Chris Floyd
and every single commenter

and at Whiskey Bar:
and every single commenter

Same style, same "I've always known everything" schtick, never once admitting flaw, past mistake, prior support shown in hindsight to have been idiotic, etc.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

As an artiste, Jeff can only be a producer of 3d tier caricatures, but not the comic type. More the unintentionally distorted kind, the kind that arise from pretending at omniscience while laboring under ignorance.

Imagines self a Gass-Elkin hybrid in his writing; actually is more like Phil Rockstroh.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

So let's assume that each of Kevin Bazar and Jeff Popovich imagines himself a top-tier satirist -- and not just any old first-rate satirist, but also one who is omniscient on matters of human nature, social drives, economics, science, and politics.

We should, of course, assume as much. It's what each of them assumes about himself, after all.

And on this assumption -- what are the lessons each person teaches us with his satirical efforts?

It may be that I'm too intellectually dim to see otherwise, but from all aspects what I see each of Popovich and Bazar teaching is this:

don't be like me
don't assume you're funny
as well as brilliant

don't assume everyone else
actually thinks you're
funny and brilliant too

they don't

they humor you because
they see your brittle ego
ready to shatter
at any moment

Jeff Popovich's feces-filled adult diaper said...







H.M. Lohmann said...

In this week's edition of Archie Comix, our supreme Arch-Druid cops to the truth of the fact that yes, he is indeed the man who has written under "Arthur Silber" and pretended to be dying for 15 years running.

Thank you, Don Pardo.

H.M. Lohmann said...


Please help me congratulate myself for realizing that "Jack Crow" was just a pen name and probably one used by the same Squadra Michele-Mike Draco!-john MICHAEL greer-Sir Arthur of Silverbags-Dee Meetreeor Lauf/Love/L'oeuf gang of BlogTrustTM muppets.

Please notice that I've become skeptical enough to doubt the presentations of people who says they are IRL what-/whomever their online presence pretends to be. I didn't used to believe Karl and Chuck when they talked about the BlogTrustTM ghost writers' brigade of frilly bloused hedonistic ass pirates and pole smokers, I thought Chris Floyd was an actual political writer and not some pen name used by the same person who says he has a webmaster named Rich Kastelein (seriously: Get Rich, Cast a Line. Seriously.), who also tweets and sometimes blogs as one or more varieties of the Tarzie enfuego species, when not being Nasty Mike the Simulated Beaver.

All of this makes me think that "Jack Crow" blogger was Theodore Shulman.


But I'm guessing here. Karl, Chuck, Pablo -- what do you guys think?

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

Well, "Jack Crow" did have a massive turnabout in attitude toward this blog once he realized the blog is not pro-abortion. It was that issue, and only that issue, which caused "Jack Crow" to start accusing this blog of misogyny, "wanting to control women's uteri," etc., and begin speaking of this blog's writers as rapists.

Logically, that leads to Kevin "kidwoo of TGR and ridemonkey fame" Bazar going onto TGR's forums and posting material suggesting a certain person is a paedophile specifically and "a creeper" otherwise.

There was a distinctly Jewish tone to "Jack Crow" the blogger's output. A particular Marxist-Leninist-via-Rosa-Luxembourg sort of Frankfurt School superiority to his posts and comments. A perpetual "I'm stating the facts here" attitude offered when giving pure opinion. And a disturbingly insecurity-weeping sort of condescension, acting as if he were the legendary sage of the mountaintop, and everyone else a ridiculously wisdom-impoverished, experience-lacking pilgrim. Plus the venomous spitting toward Christians and the RC church.

It's almost like he was scripted by Alan Deresciewicz, or the Dershy Understudy, OCL himself.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

There was a distinctly Jewish tone to "Jack Crow" the blogger's output. A particular Marxist-Leninist-via-Rosa-Luxembourg sort of Frankfurt School superiority to his posts and comments. A perpetual "I'm stating the facts here" attitude offered when giving pure opinion. And a disturbingly insecurity-weeping sort of condescension, acting as if he were the legendary sage of the mountaintop, and everyone else a ridiculously wisdom-impoverished, experience-lacking pilgrim. Plus the venomous spitting toward Christians and the RC church.

That sounds an awful lot like John MICHAEL Greer, Karlos.

It does describe the writer of "Jack Crow" the blogger equally as well.

And it describes the Simulated Beavers up until about 3 months ago.

As well as the Ding-Dong, and Tarzie, and "Chris Floyd" and "Arthur Silber."

They don't all have to be from the same keyboard, but they do share a lot of the same traits.

Maybe they all serve Tamir Pardo?

Harold Caidagh said...

Chuck, Karl, Hy -- gimme a break.

They're all from a singular master comedian: Jeff Popovich, King of Internet Satire. He's the Ricky Gervais of 21st C blog-tweet media.

There is only one Jeffy-Weffy-Ding-Dong Popovich.

And he's that self-assured Genius Supreme who knows the best musicians, best poets, best writers -- or at least, he knows who the Kool Kids say are the best, and HOLYFUCK! that's all there is to know about anything.

He KNEW Bernie was tanking for Hillary, that's why he was stumping so hard for Bernie between late summer 2015 and midspring 2016. Exactly.

He KNEW Hillary was corrupt, that's why he's defended the Clinton Dynasty for 15+ years and why he supported O'Barmy. Precisely.

He KNEW it was ALL kayfabe! Because pro wrestling, Andre the Giant, 2d grade he was first to know about Andre!

The COMEDY, dude, is in the fact that he KNOWS it's kayfabe, he KNOWS EXACTLY how it's gonna play out, but he pretends it's gonna end with Socialist America, Planet as Official (less-)White House Artist in Residence, heterosexuality being criminalized, and all young boys taught to devote themselves to homosexual activity.

That's our Jeff.

Celebrate him now.

He's a true celebrity.

Paul Behrer said...

I thought Chris Floyd was an actual political writer and not some pen name used by the same person who says he has a webmaster named Rich Kastelein (seriously: Get Rich, Cast a Line. Seriously.), who also tweets and sometimes blogs as one or more varieties of the Tarzie enfuego species, when not being Nasty Mike the Simulated Beaver.

Jeez, Hy. You're like the kind of dummy those blogwriters need to rake in their tiny e-coins, to prove to themselves they matter as writers, poets, scriveners, screedists, etc.

You could actually be one of the phony "commenters" that Archie uses at Archie Comix -- dumb as a brick, but ready to regurgitate whatever Archie says. No asking "How high, Lord Archie?," just the highest frickin' jump possible at that moment.

As to Jack Crow and Theodore Shulman? Sure. Could have been a lot of people. The fake authority, google cut&paste "expert" who has to be 100% correct and needs everyone to see him as authoritative -- that's a common flaw among losers IRL who use internet identity to feel like "somebody."

Harold Caidagh said...

The Ding-Dong today:

But assholes, regardless of race and/or political tribal affiliation, the fuck, are doing the Oligarchs work of maintaining the fuck.

Nice of him to admit he's an asshole, but weak of him to admit it in the non-admission way he does.

Seeing 55% of the picture doesn't remove your asshole quality/character, Jeff.

Seeing 55% of the picture makes you one who works to benefit "the Oligarchs" as you call them.

Who are these "Oligarchs," Jeff? Anyone who doesn't have a Donkey tattoo on their heart while pretending to be a big bad M/L fetishist forced to pretend he's straight and yet quite radical?

Paul Behrer said...

It is sorta sad, isn't it?

"Why is EVERYONE ELSE ruining Planet's future? I'm here trying to fix Planet's Future while EVERYONE ELSE is ruining it. I tell everyone I've always known everything forever, and that delusion isn't related to why Planet's Future sucks. It's the Oligarchs who are to blame! THE OLIGARCHS!"

Typical Chalupa, uses a Category Label to ping the supposed wrongdoers as a class, thereby absolving self of any guilt/complicity.

MY COMPLICITY, that's all you need, a blogtag with that label, and you're saved from any culpability in fucking up your daughter's future.

If you can blame "Oligarchs" then you don't have examine whether being your daughter's Best Buddy is the same as being a good parent. You don't have to examine whether being a Kool Kid is the same as being a good parent or good fellow human being. You're a Kool Kid! No way can you have done anything wrong!

Paul Behrer said...

It's almost like he was scripted by Alan Deresciewicz, or the Dershy Understudy, OCL himself.

The "Jack Crow" writer was a better writer than Glenn Greenwald or Alan Dershowitz.

Not a superior legal thinker, though. Dershowitz is not incompetent as a lawyer, he's just irreparably biased. Greenwald, however, is such a poor lawyer that almost any half-insightful layperson would be able to out-think and out-argue Wee Glennie the Ass Pirate of Mossad.

H.M. Lohmann said...

But THE MEDIA assured us that Glenn Greenwald is a constitutional law expert, civil rights paragon, and internet/data security sorcerer.

Paul Behrer said...

Who owns the media, Hy? Do they follow a particular religion? And do members of that religion lie about their aims routinely, since the religion tells them lying to mere cattle is not lying at all?

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Pablo, are you drawing an analogy between the vampires of The Elder Scrolls, and practitioners of this religion you're discussing?

In The Elder Scrolls, vampires create nests containing covens of fellow blood-drinkers. They have servants called "thralls," as well as humans kept merely as blood tanks for the drinking-until-shriveled, which tanks are called the vampires' "cattle."


H.M. Lohmann said...

So JWDD is either thrall or cattle, while thinking himself a superior Vampire Hunter?

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

I'd call that a fair assessment, Hy.

Harold Caidagh said...

Chuck, I read quickly through those vampire notes you linked.

Apparently Chalupa would like to imagine he's Movarth at the historic point where Movarth was the leader of a local Fighter's Guild chapter, but he's really Movarth post-vampiric-conversion?


Man, those TES script/story writers sure like to throw a lot of social criticism into their story lines!

Paul Behrer said...

Chalupa should at least get credit for standing firmly in place behind Opinion Leaders such as Chris Floyd, Tarzie, billmon, Tom Engelhardt, "Tom Feeley," or the editors of daily Marxist newsfeeds.

By virtue-signaling his affiliation with these Brilliant Minds, Chalupa essentially looks in the mirror and finds gazing back at him a movie star who has been called the most handsome and best actor of his generation.


H.M. Lohmann said...

Hey Chuck,

in the TES world, do any characters think Vampires are "the Kool Kids"?

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Only other Vampires, Hy.

Everyone else either tolerates the Vampires' existence (i.e., when the Vampires' cattle are literally cows, sheep, etc), or in cases when Vampires are discovered to be feeding on humans and/or converting humans to thrall or cattle status, the Vampires are hunted then killed.

Read that Movarth notes link, read about Alva and the activity of the coven in Movarth's Lair.

One of your tasks as player in TES:Skyrim is to enter Movarth's Lair and slay all the Vampires and their thralls.

H.M. Lohmann said...

So I suppose it's a good thing that people can hunt vampires in TES games, while being cattle IRL?

The video game distracts from the real work of being a human?

No wonder I never felt left out when I admitted I don't play video games.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Not so fast, Hy.

People who play video games for entertainment are no different from people who read books for entertainment, or who listen to music for entertainment, or who watch TV or movies for entertainment, or who go to comedy outlets to watch and listen to stand-up.

Everyone wants a diversion from the ugliness of living among fellow humans who themselves don't know how to be a human.

Jeff Popovich's feces-filled adult diaper said...


I told you I was a genius!

I'm complicit! If I label my blog posts with My Complicity, that's the only change I'll ever have to make!

I can keep being Planet's Best Buddy instead of her father.

I'm like her TV show Gay Best Friend, not her TV show Walt Cleaver.

Harold Caidagh said...

Classic mid-life crisis of the Loser.

Merely imagine self (as depicted through online identity(ies)) in a new character, and utter "new wisdom" in this new role.

Otherwise, change nothing in your life.

Keep voting Democrat while pinching your nose.

Keep helping the Vampires while thinking you'll one day be made Volkihar Royalty and live forever. You may even get Auriel's Bow and shoot out the sun, destroying life for living creatures, but ensuring the devil Sol doesn't turn you into overcooked bacon. That's not Kosher!

Keep blaming The Other for social fiction, and never look at your own attitudes toward (1) creating Others, (2) always finding Otherness instead of commonality, (3) thinking that Kool Kids are superior to Others rather than being Others themselves, and (4) why you need so badly for their to be Others whom you can blame for things that just might be due to your own actions, beliefs and values.

Chalupa may think he's superior for reading artistes where others play video games, but it's his choices of value, and his adherence to those choices, that always goes unexamined.

Big L.

Paul Behrer said...

Now here's a meta-irony for you all.

John Steakely's book Vampires was made into a movie, the movie probably has more viewers than the book has readers, and the main character in the book & movie is named Jack Crow and he hunts vampires.

Now, if you're a vampire yourself, wouldn't you want to claim you're a vampire hunter?

Wait, isn't this what Wesley Snipes' Blade movie played upon?

I'm so meta-confused by all this hyper-4th-dimensional-irony!

Harold Caidagh said...

This is why Jeff thinks he's brilliant but actually is stupid, much like Ricky Gervais's comedy is stupid: because it's condescending towards an Other without acknowledging Self's own foibles and follies. It tries to elevate the self by picking on others. It's the comedy of the Bully, the insecure dweeb who acts tough to hide his or her own insecurities, brittleness, frailty of ego.

Irony is not confusion.

Meta-irony is not a clusterfuck of nonsense.

And Jeff Popovich is not a smart person nor a good writer.

Jeff Popovich's feces-filled adult diaper said...

But I've built a Personal Brand around BLCKDGRD, nobody can deny that!

Harold Caidagh said...

Yeah, it sure makes up for the fact that IRL you're just a stupid Milton the Office Drone whose Red Swingline has gone missing.

It's a pity you're not as good an actor as Stephen Root, Jeff.

Jeff Popovich's feces-filled adult diaper said...


People RT me on Twitter!

BLCKDGRD/Depressed Socialist (because REACTIONARY RIGHTWING dominates!) is a thriving meme, bigger than Pepe! I'm a Rare Pepe!

Harold Caidagh said...

Poor Jeff.

So insecure, he can't be a father, he has to be a peer.

Mostly because he never got the Peer Approval of the Kool Kids at age 15.

Why not make your daughter see you as another spineless XY?

That's what you are, after all.

Feminized by Frankfurt School ideology.

Feminized by I'm no homophobe, righteous Gay Bro!

Feminized by thinking it's "reactionary" to not equate all change with progress.

An XY who wishes he were XX and who behaves and thinks like he's XX.

Good job, Jeff.