Thursday, May 12, 2016

plastics, Benjamin. plastics.

I'm not sure you can trust a "druid" whose worshiped trees are rotomolded plastic simulacra.


Our good friend Archie bounced back somewhat this week, at least in the main entry.  But, as always, his talks with himself in the "comments" thread reveal how ignorant he remains, despite pontificating as if the ring-kiss and kneel were ubiquitous and past, for this particular homily, among his parishioners.

Let us peer past the pews, and witness what transpires from the pulpit:

I am completely unoffended. You're choc-a-block with good ideas e.g., the precautionary principle seems like a no-brainer, but the evidence suggests otherwise. At 400 ppm CO2, is a true anachronism. If you have ever seen Golgi stains of prefrontal neurons before and after, say, sucrose or methamphetamine use, you'd be astonished at the long-lasting hypertrophy. I'd say a similar thing has happened to industrial society's brain following the exploitation of fossil fuels: a derangement of architecture and function leading to the loss of normal incentive recognition.

This would be allegedly springing from the cranial vault of one "Compound F".  At the moment of his speaking, he stands next to and slightly behind Father MICHAEL.  He is an altar boy.

Meanwhile, up on the pulpit, Father MICHAEL readies the wafers.

Once the communion tray is ready, he descends from on high, and walks to the first pew, where the little altar boy now is placed, and where he always sits during communion:

Compound F. okay, that gets tonight's gold star. I haven't read up on prefrontal neurons since my college biology classes, but clearly I need to review that!

Dominus vobiscum, et cum spiritu tuo.


The pseudoscience referenced by Corporal Fragged-brain is amusing.  Apparently the phrase golgi apparatus and the labels prefrontal neurons / sucrose / methamphetamine are supposed to lend scientific heft to the implication that yes, if you consume sugar or any "speed" variant, a little burst of brain activity will happen, because that's what happens when energy sources (sugar) or biochemical triggers of heightened energy/endorphin release (amphetamines) are consumed.  That's what your body will do, short term.

As to the basic idea of energy-release within the corpus, Cpl F is not far wrong.  But to suggest that there's some kind of long-term overgrowth ("hypertrophy" - which is what you see when a bodybuilder gets Hans-und-Franz pumped up,** or when you are taking a written essay exam and your stupid writing hand cramps up in the death claw position before you're finished writing) from eating sugar, drinking sucrose solution, or gobbling/smoking amphetamines, that's just absurdity talking. 

Perhaps it's the same "humour" we got from MICHAEL at the Simulated Beavers Riverside Lodge and Brandy Sipping Salon.

"See, we are just like Will Ferrell in Elf, squeezing an adult body into a child's desk.  How hilarious!  What grand, smirk-evoking word-sorcery!  Are we not the most uproarious comedy skit on the internet?"


Exchange the Second:

We have today among us a young parishioner whose Confirmation you all are cordially invited to witness immediately after today's Mass. Young Vesta has been called upon to Confirm her faith in Our Lord and His Emissary, Father MICHAEL.

Seems like a Burkean society would procede to experiment incrementally, evaluate carefully, replicate freely, and eliminate continuously, emperically and without principle a priori. No? Sounds Natural.

I do believe she has memorized her speech accurately. Here comes the splash of Holy Water --

Vesta, excellent! Yes, I was planning on getting to that. Burkean conservatism is also evolutionary ecology applied to the sphere of human politics...

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit....


Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.

I have observed the grandiosity, pomposity, pretense, arrogance, haughtiness, and desire to obtain False Idol status in your words and deeds.  I confess that I lose faith in the Church because of your foibles, which are grouped together not by my imagination, but by your deeds on display, Father.

There is no such thing as "evolutionary ecology," Father, and I wonder why you treat the two words as emblematic, significant, and authoritative with a repository of accumulated legitimate scientific wisdom hiding behind them.

The phrase at best, if given the greatest charity, is a redundancy.

Ecology = supra-organismal biology.  You know what supra- means, do you not, Father?  It is Latin and you are a pontiff in the Latinate tradition.  It means above.

Ecology observes the system as a whole.

If the individuals in the system experience change, it does not render the system as "evolutionary."  It is merely a system that has dynamic qualities.  Nothing more.

Evolution is a separate concept and as of 2016 remains a theory.

A theory.

Such as that which says, Yahweh gave the world to Jews, and all non-Jews are your slaves.

--Paul Behrer, who would be repulsed by the Father's arrogance if he didn't know the Father was just an actor in a C-grade movie, one in which the actor speaks to a mirror for 84 minutes.


** In contrast, the female patient of the FACS cutter who gets silicon gel or saline solution sacs installed in her upper thoracic is not actually hypertrophied, but instead is edging toward human-machine merger, which is an artificial growth and not one prompted by nature.  On the other hand, if in the future the patient's body should react negatively to the installed sacs, and suffer the relatively anomalous end of extreme corporal over-reaction on the aggressive D side of game strategy, perhaps scar tissue will see hypertrophy in the region, and in the oddest of cases, carcino cells can demonstrate their expertise in hypertrophy-without-end in that same region.


Harold Caidagh said...

Pablo, I don't know how Chet let this slip by without a comment. Or maybe he noticed it and left it alone. But I think you need a few more words here:

one in which the actor speaks to a mirror for 84 minutes.

IMO should read as

one in which the actor speaks to a mirror for 84 minutes, once a week.

Paul Behrer said...

That's the maraschino cherry on the sundae, Hal. Thanks.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

Yesterday I read a comment on the internet that applies pretty well to the anti-religion traits of Our Father MICHAEL, who elsewhere in the talking-to-self suggests that Christianity hates sexual pleasure. Only someone who doesn't know Christianity would suggest this. Only someone who knows nothing of the Roman Catholic division of Christianity would suggest this. Catholics have big families because they like sex, Father MICHAEL. Christians regularly and routinely throughout history have had sex -- before, during, and after a church sanctioned marriage, and sometimes with people other than their spouses. Certainly on this background you can worship trees but not a Christian God, eh, and reduce your "rationale" to imagining the Christian church hates sex and sexual pleasure because that's how you run the long con, isn't it? To prey on people's unfounded beliefs and prejudices?

Yes, Father MICHAEL, you are extremely sagacious when you pretend you're so smart that you see through the God Box's holographic image.

As to the comment I read yesterday, in essence it said this:

I find it more logical and rational to believe in a God than to believe that two atoms smashing created the massive complexity of the universe.

While our Father MICHAEL continues to pretend he's educating his flock, he's still just lying to them, just so he can feel like their shepherd.

Pill Bullyam said...

More evidence that this blog is reactionary Christer-Cracker.

unbent said...

(Deborah Knauer)

It seems that the more one reads this blog, the more one realizes that its author is a sad, deluded, angry Christian Conservative who has more in common with the NeoCons of Straussian heritage than he does with the Ultimate Truth offered by the Arch-Druid.

Chalupa, Lord Garth of the Internet's Elba II said...





John Michael Greer said...

I'm just fishing for income, which arrives by clicks. The more word variety I use, the more money my Report generates. Besides, do you really know anyone who has met a Bremerton WA native named John Michael Greer, who actually does look like a reincarnation of Karl Marx but taller and fatter, and who lives now in Cumberland MD with 37 cats, 29 roosters, 136 hens, two goats and a ewe? Me neither. How about a Professor of Pompous Studies at SIMBEEVA Scholastic Apex Institute named Michael J. Smith, who lives in NYC and tends to a sailboat moored on the Hudson (Upper West Side), which sailboat looks a lot like what a fellow named Dmitry Orlov keeps talking about?

Yeah, me neither.

Chet Redweld said...

Plastic beavers, plastic trees, plastic wisdom, plastic meaning of "irony."

I see where you got the title, Paul.

Harold Caidagh said...

Poor Chalupa, always falling for the KAYFABE.

That must be why he keeps pretending that he sees the kayfabe, but nobody else does.



and cat-fucking.

Chalupa, Lord Garth of the Internet's Elba II said...








Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

It's toss-up, really.

Spirit of Joey Weil


Don't be the dog, be the flea.

Maybe both?

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

It's cute how much "Greer" steals from this blog, which he attacked as "Jack Crow" and tried to undermine by saying this blog was written by convicted rapists who are likely to murder women if ever released from prison.

Even cuter how he pretends it's all from his own feeble, plagiarism-prone noggin.

The most valuable thing he did in this entry was to offer a somewhat palatable counter to the insane Dictatorship of the 6-pointed-Star perspective we get from Corey Robin's absurd lies regarding Burke and Burkean thought.

But as always, he used the 75% good, 25% misleading to keep them wrong-footed and chasing the wrong goals while running from the illusory demons, hobgoblins, bugi men, trolls, etc. Always point them in a relatively accurate direction, but make sure the little map you draw doesn't take them anywhere near the treasure, nor the hideout, nor good fishing/hunting grounds.

What a pompous prick.

unbent said...

(Deborah Knauer)

Apparently you don't realize that The Arch-Druid Report is like a life-long graduate school seminar at Oxford, with our Arch-Druid as the sequoia sempervirens of a Don.

There is always more to consider, and we shall always continue anon with the interesting details offered in this week's entry.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

Maybe it's all some meta-commentary and it's all written by someone who is trying to draw an analogy to the drip-drip-drip of the Snowden Treasure Trove.

This week, we get 0.000000000000015 of the trove.

Next week, we get 0.000000000000025 of it.



Harold Caidagh said...

yeah no shit.

tarzie chalupa fadduh smiff Father MICHAEL rich cast-a-line Tom Feeley gayvin kosztola charlie davis jacob pack-my-back-door

trying for Saturday Night Live in its weakest era

achieving Dane Cook on his best night

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

Hal, I think you forgot Alexa O'Brien Bradley Chelseamanning Julia Nossange and the entire frilly blouse floppy wrist Pink Marxist Depilatron Squad.

Paul Behrer said...

At least they're not as unfunny, arrogant, and willing to lie about others as the heroic Kevin "kidwoo" Bazar. The midget woozer thinks it's funny to post pictures of people labeling them as pedophiles. It's funny to the woozer, because he has a trust fund, and never has to work or find a job.

He defends himself by saying that the person whose picture he used is "an idiot" and "an obsessed deranged dick". Which warrants photos suggesting pedophilia, naturally.

Like most 6-pointed-star Cultists, he is perfect, and everything else in the world is flawed and inferior to him, most especially of all are those who might poke fun at the woozer's rich kid spoiled brat pushing 40 self, or the woozer's pretense that only his view matters.

So, to recap:

If you're a trustafarian puke living off mummy & deddy's trove somewhere in Lake Tahoe, and someone calls you an arrogant narcissist who is a trustafarian, the surest way to prove you're not a disturbed sociopathic narcissistic trustafarian Davidian douchebag is to post a picture of someone allleging he's a pedophile.

Seems pretty clear to me.

It's the Wendell Stam approach. Same background, same selfish destructiveness toward anyone who isn't woshiping the 6-pointer.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

So obviously superior, they made a t-shirt about it.

Kevin "kidwoo" Bazar said...

Listen, our society isn't obsessed to the point of imagining everyone is a pedophile trying to rape and kill their children. I can sit back and laugh about this because actually "kidwoo" is my nickname for fucking girls 20+ years younger than I am, after I slip them a roofie in their 5th beer of the hour. You and everyone else you know, and the internet generally, don't know I do this because thanks to my trust fund, my criminal lawyers on retainer spread money around Tahoe and Whistler like you stupid rednecks put ketchup on scrambled eggs. Jesusfuck, you dipshit, eggs aren't even kosher, and ketcup is for loser proles.

You're just one of those typical anti-Semites who is jealous when he encounters a superior Jewish athlete. Namely, me.

Kevin "kidwoo" Bazar said...

Oh and by the way: you're a fucking idiot, an obsessed asshole dick, and Imma roost yo faissss! if I ever see you in Whistler or Tahoe. Stupid cattle.

Harold Caidagh said...

an obsessed asshole dick

Sounds like it's boys 20+ years younger, actually.

Ibrahim Fucks-Men said...

There is nothing in the Talmud to prohibit that. If one gains social status as a result, or income as a result, then even better. If Mr Bazar is doing this to goyim, he gets extra credit for screwing them twice: once with the penis, once with the scam.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

Woozer has to tear you down, Pablo, because it's Israel-like to say & do things which provoke people's retaliatory urge, and then claim that their retaliation is based on anti-Semitism (+, in woozer's case, anti-midget and anti-trust-fund) and associated, redneck reactionary conservative non-Jewish non-progressive non-Leftist hatred and bigotry, all of which is focused on a poor, defenseless midget pushing 40 but acting 14 in order to stay "into" the 14 year old meat.

It all looks quite consistent with his background, actually.

Israelis steal Palestinian land.
Palestinians try to stop theft.
Isrealis murder them, saying "they were being anti-Semitic and violent!"

Chet Redweld said...

I sense momentum here. I'm not going to ride herd on this thread, lads. I leave you to defend yourselves against The Mighty Judeans. Watch out for the smiling face, knife under the ribcage tactic. And for pete's sake, don't let them get behind you or your anus is at risk.

Paul Behrer said...

So, "Imma roost yo faissss!" is Davidian for "Imma rape yo assssss!" ??

Harold Caidagh said...

Little Ernst Rohms.

That's real irony, as opposed to the plastic kind practiced by Chalupa & Frilly Blouses Inc., and by the Davidian Online MTB Experts like the woozer or wendy rideit.

"Hah hah, not being an obnoxious jewish asshole who claims victim status after provoking an attack on himself, just joking. You don't get it because you're a bigot!"

Mmm-hmm. Exactly.

Chet Redweld said...

One thought, though, which I hope isn't seen as riding herd.

What's up with all the focus on the Beacon of Democracy in the Middle East, and its state religion?

Might be tough for the occasional tumbleweed to understand if someone doesn't explain.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

"fucking asshole Christians!"

"Christer reactionaries!"

"hey, I'm a trump supporter, see my big shiny cross!"

Maybe that's an idea, Chet?

The woozer thinks disagreeing with him = proof the disagreement means "you're an idiot" rather than "you don't agree."

Because he's a trustafarian Jewish enginerd. Is there anything more perfect, or anywhere near as superlative? Clearly all disagreement with His Highness means idiocy is being displayed, and probably anti-Semitic idiocy as well.

H.M. Lohmann said...

Friggin' bantam roosters. Worst when they're not kosher.

Paul Behrer said...

Clearly all disagreement with His Highness means idiocy is being displayed, and probably anti-Semitic idiocy as well.

I thought it was due to jealousy, and "obsession." That's how little Kevin tells it, anyway.

I'm not sure what would be the basis for this alleged jealousy. The obsession claim makes no sense at all. If one turned the tables on little Kevin, he might see himself as the obsessed, jealous one -- assuming he is capable of seeing himself as Less Than Perfect, which his religion will not tolerate.

Given that kind of existential conundrum, is it any surprise he thinks everyone else is the problem? Too painful to imagine himself being the cause of the problems he encounters.



Just like Chalupa!

Chalupa, Lord Garth of the internet's Elba II said...

I admit my complicity.

I don't know about this Kevin or "woozer" person.

Therefore, I win.

Kevin might lose, I don't know.

H.M. Lohmann said...

It's funny how much Kevin Bazar is like Tarzie.

Or... hang on a minute. That's not really funny.

Think about it: also like Gooey Glenn.

"obviously you're jealous"

"clearly you don't have the same accomplishments, so you must be jealous"

"I don't see YOU getting a ski named after yourself"

"Yeah, you don't even review gear at FAPblister"

then here comes little stuckathuntermtn

"why is this creepy stalker so jealous of kidwoo? sad."

Ibrahim Fucks-Men said...

Circle the wagons, men. There's anti-Semites afoot.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

I think Hy is onto something.

THEORY: Kevin "kidwoo" Bazar has been doing a Denis Leary to this blog's Bill Hicks.

FACTS: This blog and its forerunners have been in operation, under inimitable (mostly, that is) sarcastic and satirical style, since before Kevin Bazar became kidwoo OF THE INTERNET.

SUPPOSITION: Kevin "kidwoo" Bazar cannot admit he's stolen all comic stylings from this blog, and is so invested in being The Internet's MTB Funny Man, with the KIDWOO MARK OF EXCELLENCE being most prominent, that if anyone should learn that actually Kevin isn't funny unless passing off others' work as his own, his ego will nudge him toward self-destruction. Every time this point of copycatting has been raised, Kevin has ramped up his attacks, culminating in the recent photo-doctoring "joke" offered in retaliation for someone calling him a trust funder.

COUNTER: Kevin Bazar is a wealthy Floridian who knows how to grease palms and other body parts with the dolla-dolla-bills-y'all that seem always to be falling out of his pants pockets. "What? You didn't think that was funny? Here's a $100 bill, go buy yourself a rentboy." There's nothing wrong with this, people with brittle egos and short stature already are at a social disadvantage, and being Jewish and neurotic makes it worse. Many neurotic jews use stand-up to gain popularity and pussy/penis. Kevin is honoring a long tradition. He's got lots of ass as a result of dim-witted people thinking he's funny and original. He deserves praise, not condemnation.

MEDIATED RESULT: Little Kevin deserves respect for his basic humanity, but condemnation for his behavior. Unoriginality is no crime or sin, but when you pass yourself off as original while copying another, there's nothing respectable in that act, even if you make a social status or income-related profit in the bargain.

POST-RESULT OBJECTION #1: Obviously this forum is anti-Semitic. Greed and social status are the most important drives of human beings. Arguing or concluding otherwise is like saying Judaism must be dissolved, or Jews must be murdered.

Paul Behrer said...

then here comes little stuckathuntermtn

"why is this creepy stalker so jealous of kidwoo? sad."

I take exception to the word "little" up there, Hy. One of this blog's authors rode on an actual MTB ride with the stuck one. He's fat, slower than winter molasses, has bike handling skills equivalent to a Parkinson's sufferer at maximal tremble/jitteriness, can't work the simplest wrench or tool, nor sort out mechanical workings.

All of these are witnessed, real-life features of a person who passes himself off on internet fora as one of the most seasoned, skilled and insightful athletes on the internet.

It's expected he'd defend the little woozer. They are brothers-in-fraud. Also, the stuck one's online expertise is limited to repeating whatever the woozer says, so stuck's expertise is tied directly to whatever anyone thinks of the woozer or the woozer's posts.

All this triangulation, by all these people who can't bear to be seen as Less Than Perfect. But then, why would they?

They're Chosen.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

Listen, if your people spent millennia leeching off others who aren't of your people, never creating anything of your own, always draining the energy and work and talent of others, it's expected people would be jealous of you. These are traits of highly evolved people who have learned that doing nothing yourself, while profiting somehow by that nothing done, is the pinnacle of human effort. When you can gain social status from it, it's the peak of social interaction. And when you make money off it, you near the apex of socioeconomic status.

Of course, those whose talents, energies, work and ideas are stolen by the leeches eventually tire of it, and begin to notice the common thread: the leeches consider themselves ABOVE your sense of propriety/human kindness. YOU are wrong. THEY are correct. YOUR ideals are irrelevant. YOU were not CHOSEN BY YAHWEH to lead humanity to a better place through theft, embezzlement, bunco scams, or legal trickery.

Paul Behrer said...

So the antipathy toward Jews throughout human history is because non-Jews are stupid cattle who don't understand and/or can't accept that Jews are the Master Race?

Maybe this is why they accuse every other religion of superiority. Like chastising the pseudo-Muslims of nynah leaven, saying they thought they'd fuck virgins forever post-sacrifice-to-Allah.

Projection. Such a keen trick of the Jewish mind.

"Whatever I am nagged by regarding my own behavior and impulses, I must accuse others of doing or thinking/feeling/wanting. Thus, when eventually people realize it was ME, my guilt is watered down, my complicity invisible. The original culprit I identified has taken all the social pressure and condemnation off my back. I win again."

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

You can just hear Shmuel and Hadar Bazar discussing the label they'll affix to the wee, as-yet-uncircumcised infant that just popped out of Hadar's pussy.

"How about Shlomo?"

"Not Anglo enough."

"What about Cuchulainn?"

"How in Matzoh-loving Eternal Paradise will anyone ever pronouce that?"

"But it's Irish, Shmuel. Irish people are sturdy, strong, stoic and not rattled by the petty vicissitudes of life like we Jews are. It will make him strong. Let's give him an Irish name."

"Okay, I give in. All my friends are naming their kids things like Patrick, Keith, Shamus. Sounds awkward when paired with a Liebowitz, Tanizarski or Bazar, but whatchagonnadu?"

"In that case, let's make it Kevin."

Paul Behrer said...

I hear the O Fearnle clan have taken to naming their kids things like Shmuel, Isaac, Leviticus, Binyamin.

"This way, they'll get a loan when they need it."

"At 45%, maybe."

"Better than no loan at all."

As a point of multi-culti, all the little O Fearnles wear yarmulkes, don't brush their teeth, are learning how to be judgmental and anxious, and have just started to practice strategic double-speak so they can backtrack when accused of trying to manipulate others.

"No, I meant THIS. What are you, STUPID?"

Kevin "kidwoo" Bazar said...

You're an idiot.

The 15 handles I use on different forums are just a way of passing time, bro. If you didn't have to work and hurt your knee doing something that would have been easy for a goyim but was difficult for me, and had to spend a few months laid up, you'd get into FUCKING WITH OTHERS just like I did and do. What else should I be doing? Counting my coins? Shit, you idiot goy. Don't you know? They're endless.

So anyway, the 15 handles: I deny them all the time. That's what I do. I manipulate people for personal pleasure. Like Glenn Greenwald. Like Abe Foxman. Like Bernie Sanders. Like Benjamin Netanyahu -- a hero to my people.

You're just cattle anyway. I don't know why I bother.

Time to go drink some blood.