Thursday, March 17, 2016

but I insisted on the quinoa and kale platter, you stupid waiter!



The message I take away from Ofucker's SCOTUS nomination: FUCK YOU AND YOUR ANTI-KABUKI, peasants, EAT FUCKING KABUKI! and fucking like it.


Once again, Chalupa delivers his prescience on politics.

Here's how it goes:

2012, Chalupa:

1) Republican? Y or N
2) If Y, HATE IT, IT'S WRONG, THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE US BACK TO THE 1300s
3) If N, BOO-YAH! KICKIN' ASS & TAKIN' NAMES!

2016, Chalupa:

1) Republican? Y or N
2) If Y, HATE IT, IT'S WRONG, THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE US BACK TO THE 1300s
3) If N, BOO-YAH! KICKIN' ASS & TAKIN' NAMES!

now this may seem the same, but it's actually different, as a new chapter exists:

4) Okay, Democrat, BOO-YAH!, etc. But: Connection to Obama? Y or N
5) If Y, HATE IT, IT'S WRONG, THEY'RE TRYING TO TAKE US BACK TO THE 1300s
6) If N, BOO-YAH! KICKIN' ASS & TAKIN' NAMES!

See how different? No? Well, I don't either.

But apparently, it's the Obamapostasy at work.

MUST HAVE TRUE LEFTIST ON SCOTUS!

Yeah, every single issue in human existence is about Winning Team, isn't it Chalupa?  And your team always is the Winner, right?  Like your Obama support, your Clinton support, your Gore support, your Dukakis support, your blah blah blah blah blah Depressed Lifelong Leftist Who Thinks It's About Right vs Left and Thinks It's Always Necessary to Be On the Left.

Let's hope he never drives in America.  That anglophilic, wish-I-was-more-upscale (hey Tarzie, hey Greenwald, hey Simulated Beavers, hey every single leftist who struggles with identity and self-worth issues!) need to be always on the left is fine in the UK and its satellites, but American roads put you in the right lane when you move forward.  Head-ons are likely if you move forward in the left lane.

It may help Chalupa to try to learn a little bit about the history of SCOTUS opinions -- but then, without a legal education background, I'm not sure he will be able to make heads or tails of the opinions themselves, let alone put them into context.

But why would someone need a legal background to understand a (in comparison to Ideal World, needlessly) complex body of principles, bendy-contorty semi-rules, and lines of thinking?  Not when he's the Reference Librarian!

If Glenn Greenwald didn't need experience in Constitutional litigation to claim Constitutional Lawyer status, neither does Chalupa.

If Barack Obama can claim to be a law professor because someone did him a solid and gave him a semester stand-in job designed to bolster his CV rather than reflect and draw upon his expertise, Chalupa can pretend he knows SCOTUS matters intimately and in a polylaminar fashion.

10 comments:

Chet Redweld said...

Ian Welsh! Corey Robin! Other known Chalupa heroes! They all think they know jurisprudence and sociopolitical matters better than any stoopid repthuglican reactionary cis-het-patriarchal homophobic hegemonist who probably is Corporate!

I don't have to work in communal fashion, not even when I'm a Leftist! Leftism is about identifying, culling and extinguishing non-Left people, idioms, symbols, texts, media, and folklore from the nation.

The commune isn't everyone. It's just those who agree with us Leftists.

So, let's face it -- Communism still hasn't been tried yet.

Just like Capitalism.

Every attempt at implementation has been done wrong by bureaucracies. In Capitalism's case, "socialist" leaning bureaucracies prevent Pure Capitalism from winning. In Communism's case, "reactionary" leaning bureaucracies prevent Pure Communism from winning.

See how simple?

Chalupa-Doo Junior said...

Dude, he's pals with SMBIVA too. That MJS is the smartest guy on the internet, and whomever or whatever MJS decides to make fun of, then that's who/what Chalupa thinks should be a scapegoat, fall guy, pratfall victim, culpable unsub, domestic terrorist, etc.

It really is about Right vs Left, and it is truly R vs D, but we've evolved to sometimes make fun of a D who, in our collective 6-headed-dragon hindsight, has revealed him/herself as a DINO and/or closeted reactionary.

Americans have many reasons to be ashamed, but the primary is that not enough people agree with MJS, Chalupa, Corey Robin, Ian Welsh, or any other BlogTrust entity or employee.

These now-identified DINOs may be worth a few engraved-invitation format Upper Class Insults, but at least they're not REPUBLICANS!

Ian & Corey's Biggest Fan said...

As a Leftist, I agree that we need to identify and cull reactionaries who refuse to see that communism is our only future. For public relations' sake, I would propose re-education at Abu Ghraib or Guantanamo should be applied to the culled thugs who refuse to agree with us on the value and imperative, inescapable nature of communism.

Clearly, if you don't see communism as your destiny, you are likely mentally ill.

Emm Jayess, Ph.D., D.O., F.A.C.S said...

Your continued misunderstanding of our satirizing your reactionary foolishness leads you to think it is you mocking us, rather than vice versa.

We've always said your attitude is more grand than your abilities warrant.

We have so many layers of meta-satire at work, corroding your feeble attempts at criticism and tawdry efforts at exposure of fraudulence. Our meta-upon-meta- approach reveals you as a simpleton who could not possibly work at any college or university, not even as a janitor, and especially not as a reference librarian, adjunct faculty member, tenure-track apprentice, or tenured master wizard and scholar.

I, of course, fall into that last-mentioned category. With my decades of experience in the highest planes of academia, I know with a granitic certitude that you would be laughed out of the establishment's HR offices should you attempt to apply for work in such strata. You are simply ill-equipped for survival there, like a human who tries to breathe water, or a fish that tries to drink and filter oxygen from air.

I am Michael J. Smith, and I am smarter than everyone.

Chet Redweld said...

Copycats who copy from a less-informed and more-emotional (though Prep School emotion, not blue collar emotion) perspective may well be showing their sincerest flattery of this blog via imitation, but when the effort is as gawky, kludgy, poorly informed, based on mistaken assumptions, and self-impressed as that which is conducted by people such as MJS, BDR, Ian "Jack Crow's newest identity" Welsh, or any other BlogTrust simpleton-faking-at-genius, it feels unflattering.

Not insulting, just not flattering.

Scrappy-Doo. Despite outward morphology, he was being the flea, and not the dog.

The Mightyest of Mighties, Uberlord of the Internet: CHALUPA! said...

You're not on twitter
nyaah-nyaaah
nyaah-nyaaah
That means I WIIIII-IIIIN
nyaah-nyaaah
nyaah-nyaaah
Totally rick-rolled you!
nyaah-nyaaah
nyaah-nyaaah
Successfully I've trolled you!
nyaah-nyaaah
nyaah-nyaaah

Chet Redweld said...

56 years old, and his biggest success is imaginary.

Yep, he wins.

For sure.

Paul Behrer said...

With a brittle-ego'd, constantly worried/afraid and persistently-misunderstanding-the-world-while-acting-as-if-he's-got-it-all-sussed outlook such as he has, Chalupa might be able to write the first symbiotic novel synthesizing Woody Allen/Jackie Mason, and William Gass. But this assumes writing skill exists within our little chihuahua, and if he had such skill, he wouldn't have to use anything but letters and plain background to demonstrate his poetic or prosaic talents. The use of double-writing pos/neg red/black, the graphing, the tempera, and the thematic "heh heh heh, see me blurring the lines!" spin all look like someone who has no faith in his own writing.

Perhaps among the history of 5,719 blogs run by His Chalupaness, one of them actually demonstrated a facility for writing. That's why he shut it down and why he writes like shit elsewhere acknowledged presently. His complicity. "The man" made him do it. "Corporate." Et cetera.

The kind of humor he thinks he's plying, when he tries at chuckle-induction anyway, is one that needs surprise to trigger the smirk (if not "bwah!" if not side-busting Harley-Davidson loud laughter).

There's no surprise there.

It's all obvious.

It's like the lamest aspect of mumblecore, mixed with the weakest aspects of Ricky Gervais, combined with Will Ferrell's grown-man-in-child's-desk uncreative uncomic unworked and unworking "gags".

City slicker in the country.

All hat, no cattle.

Chalupa, the Lord Garth of the internet's Elba II said...

Yeah fuck you, asshole. I blog at work, so what, it's the least I can do when the fucking Papist Patriarchs are my bosses. HOLYFUCK! I can't even figure out who I am exactly anymore, I've had so many e-identities since I first discovered Whiskey Bar and Daily Kos and participated routinely at each.

For someone who likes pretty decent music, you sure are a dick. I thought everyone who liked what I liked would agree with my politics, and I thought everyone hated blue collar people enough to go out of their way to show they are not blue-collar NOW even if somewhere in their family background there were reactionary, meat-eating, dirty-fingernailed people who share my last name or my mother's maiden last name.

If you like Yo La Tengo, you're supposed to be a Leftist and you're supposed to have supported Obama in 08 and 12 but have had an Obamapostasy since sometime in 2015 but pretended to have been in existence since immediately after you reluctantly cast the vote in 2012, even though in early Nov 2012 you were busy giving Barry back-rubs and pep talks.

If you enjoy Gaddis's work, you're supposed to be stupid as fuck even though Gaddis was no eedjit, and you're supposed to be totally Team Donkey because Donkey equals eventual Communism whereas Elephant always equals eventual Auschwitz-Treblinka-etc.

You're supposed to have laughed along when we got angry at you not being a Glenn Greenwald fan, because you were supposed to be joking with those posted thoughts suggesting Greenwald being a fraud. You're supposed to think exactly as I do, and when you don't -- you're mistaken! And probably corporate!

Lord Garth's dormant wimp persona said...

Nice try, but it was firedoglake and not Daily Kos.