Thursday, January 14, 2016

the instar needs on*star


ELISION 2016
by
CHALUPA, GENIUS IN RESIDENCE
HOYAVILLE LIBRARY,
PRETENTIOUS RESERVE SECTION,
ANGRY USELESS FUCKTARD DIVISION,
SPITTLE FLECKS EVERYWHERE.

__________________________________

I HAZ A FUNNIE
CORPORATE RIGHT WING ASSHOLES
HOLYFUCK FUCKHOLY REACTIONARY RAPISTS
HOW DID THEY ELIDE MY GENIUS?

ALAN RICKMAN? WHO'S THAT?
OH, AN ACTOR.
NO WONDER I DIDN'T KNOW.
POMO POETS WORKING WITH
WATER COLOR AND GRAPH PAPER
TO HIDE THEIR LACK OF TALENT
BEHIND A GIMMICK
ARE THE ONES WHO MATTER
NOT ACTORS

I WIN AGAIN
BECAUSE I MATTER

OVER ON CORRENTE
I LINKED TO MYSELF
BUT ON CORRENTE
YOU MAY NOT KNOW I'M ME
DON'T USE SAME HANDLE THERE
NOR ANYWHERE ELSE BESIDES
TWITTER BLOGGER WFMU

IN OTHER HABITUES
I INHABIT OTHER IDENTITIES
SO THAT I MAY CONTINUE TO
HIDE FROM
MY OWN COMPLICITY
IN THE THINGS I SWEAR ARE
MAKING ME MISERABLE

NATURALLY THAT PROVES MY GIFT OF
COMIC GENIUS
OF THE
SELF-EFFACING VARIETY.
WHICH IS
A VARIETY
OF BOTH
GENIUS AND COMEDY

MY COMPLICITY I DISCUSS
BUT NEVER FIX
BECAUSE THEN I HAVE
NOTHING
TO BLAME OTHERS FOR
WHEN THE FAULT ACTUALLY
IS MINE

I'M 56 YEARS OLD
GOING ON
15 YEARS OLD
IN MY MIND

IN MY SAD
BOWLING PIN CORPUS
I'M AT LEAST 85

WHEN I TAKE MY
VIAGRA
TO GET WOOD FOR
MY NEXT POMO POEM-ISH
THE WATERCOLOR WILL USE
MY JISM
AS A COMEDIC PRISM

YOU CAN'T STOP LAUGHING
I WIN AGAIN



--Harold Caidagh, wondering if Jeffy-Weffy Ding-Dong Popovich realizes how un-fucking-believably immature and unfunny and White Knighty and FagHaggy he is.

14 comments:

Paul Behrer said...

Yeah, but all the gay Jewish trustafarians in the online arts community think Chalupa's hilarious, brilliant, and oh-so-flip-floppy on the sexual identity and preference angles!

DING DONG!
DING DONG!

Chet Redweld said...

Don't be the dog.
Be the flea.

Karl Franz Ochstradt said...

Or if you're going to be the dog, be a chihuahua or some other dog that may as well be a cat, it's so fucking gay. Like the "Dogist" pictures JWDD posts on his tweetline, all Urban Hipster Faggot dogs, all about the accessorizing with a living creature. Gay, but not in the etymological sense. More in the

YIKES! I have a penis between my legs, but I wish I wore dresses and didn't have facial hair and was recognized for my sense of style and my ability to bitterly blame the world for the troubles I'm realizing because I told myself I'd rather have sex with men rather than women

sort of sense.

You know. It's his "complicity". HAW HAW HAW SO FUCKIN' FUNNY!

Honoria Helper, L.C.S.W. said...

Someone is quite the homophobe.

Are you completely sure you're not gay, Mr Ochstradt? It's well established that remarks such as yours are commonly made by gay men who are desperately overcompensating by adopting a macho, gay-disparaging public persona. In fact, from that one comment, I'm able to tell that you've been in the closet since age 14.

I have hours of experience helping gay men find their true soul as a member of the Progressive wing of the Democratic Party, and as I've mentioned here several times before, I can help you at a relatively low per-visit cost thanks to ACA coverage.

Contact me at your earliest convenience and we can get to working on making you comfortable with your urge to have sex with men.

Chet Redweld said...

Dr Helper, in the world of tool-using humans, you are that person who wields a hammer and busies herself seeing everything as a nail.

Charlie Davis, Gay Expatriate Genius Uberlord said...

Bro BLCKDGRD trolls you SO HARD and you CRUMBLE, BRO!

You wish you had his talent. Or mine. Or Tarzie's. Or Glenn Greenwald's, Dave Zirin's, Corey Robin's, Fred deBoer's, or any one of a number of brilliant wordsmiths who see things you'll never notice, mostly because you're a homophobic bigot reactionary repuke cis-het-patriarchist.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

Charlie's still mad that the writers at this blog are not gay and therefore would not agree to be his butt-buddy. Charlie tried so hard to flirt with this blog's authors, but first got angry when the blog wouldn't write Marxist fluffing like Charlie writes, and had his biggest meltdown when he coupled that realization (oh my thtarth, thith blog ith tho wee-ack-thon-aiweee, it ree-futh-eth to pwaythe Teh Gayth thow maybee I cant get the awethurth to fock mee) with the late-breaking awareness that indeed, this blog is not an outlet for The Gay Perspective because none of its writers is homosexual.

Poor Charlie. He's such an activist.

Okay, back to my cryogenic preservation state.

Chalupa the ULTRADOG said...

I AM VERY BRILLIANT
MY COMPLICITY
IS MY HONESTY
TELLING MY FANS
THAT I'M INCREDIBLY
ARTSY SINCE
I REGULARLY POST
LINKS TO THINGS WHICH
PROVE MY HIPSTERNESS

ONE DAY I'LL GROW UP
AND STOP BLAMING MY OWN
HYPER-REACTIVE ANGRY
CASTING OF SPITTLE AT
WHATEVER IS NOT IDENTICAL TO
WHAT I THINK OR DO

BUT UNTIL THEN I JUST
SHOW MY SINCERE
INTELLECTUAL GRAVITAS
BY SPEAKING OF
MY COMPLICITY

MERE ADMISSION THAT I AM
COMPLICIT
SHEDS ALL CULPABILITY
FOR REPAIR

THAT IS WHAT MY SHRINK SAID
AND I BELIEVE HIM
BECAUSE
HE'S GAY

NATURALLY
I WIN AGAIN

Paul Behrer said...

The Ding-Dong seems to think that saying "I'm a loser, but only because the world is not Communist and because the world won't admit gays are superior to filthy breeders who are homophobic" somehow shows he's admirable. Look, he admits he's complicit!

What is this implying?

"I'm complicit."

That stops the hypocrisy?

No.

"I've been complicit but here's how I'm changing that:_______________."

might be a good start, but meanwhile, he'll just insist that he can't change because the Reactionary Repthuglicans Who Are Homophobic Misogynists That Don't Appreciate Post-Modern Poetry prevent his behavioral modification or self-questioning reassessments of things believed to be Absolute Truths.

Alternatively, he might try arguing that his Complicity was required in order to ensure his little satellite would be able to complete her degree in Image Management at WASP Parchment Provision LLC.

Chalupa the ULTRADOG said...

FOR SOME REASON
PROBABLY DUE TO
YOU BEING A SICK
DISGUSTING
MALICIOUS
PSYCHOPATHIC
SOCIOPATHIC
HOMOPHOBE
YOU KEEP IGNORING
THE SIMPLE FACT
THAT I HAD MY
OBAMAPOSTASY

THIS PROVES I AM
MOVING BEYOND MY
COMPLICITY

OBAMAPOSTASY
IS MINE

THEREFORE
I WIN AGAIN

Paul Behrer said...

No, seriously, if your blog makes "ironic" self-references, like saying "I'm such an egomaniac I freak out when blogger is down for 15 minutes and I can't count my clicks during that quarter-hour," that means YOU aren't the sad and pathetic one but instead you are mocking OTHERS who obsessively track clicks, and you're doing it with one-of-a-kind comic GENIUS that no comedian every used before your brilliant debut at BLCKDGRD, HOME OF HYPOCRITES WHO WILL DIE HYPOCRITES RATHER THAN DO THE ADULT THING OF CHANGING DESTRUCTIVE BEHAVIORS AND THOUGHTS.

See, all you have to do is mention My Complicity and suddenly you're heroic, flawless, and have conclusively proved that whatever people might spot as hypocrisy and absurd other-blaming in your written work, they're clearly wrong because they haven't had their Obamapostasy and they don't talk about Their Complicity.

All you have to do is mention My Complicity. Once you do that, you're canonized as a Leftist Saint who should be followed by everyone on twitter.

Chalupa the ULTRADOG said...

IF YOU DON'T HAVE
MASSIVE RESIDUAL EGO DAMAGE
AS A RESULT OF
NOT BEING ONE OF
THE COOL KIDS DURING
7th THROUGH 12th GRADES

THEN YOU ARE JUST A LOSER
PROBABLY A FILTHY BREEDER
DEFINITELY A HOMOPHOBE
CERTAINLY A REACTIONARY
POSIVITELY A MISOGYNIST
AND WITHOUT QUESTION AN
ENEMY OF HUMAN SOCIAL PROGRESS

MY BLOG IS THE BEST
BUT JUST LIKE THOSE DAYS
OF 7th THROUGH 12th GRADES
MOST PEOPLE JUST WILL NOT
EVER ADMIT TO THE FACT THAT
I AM SO MUCH SMARTER
SO MUCH MORE CREATIVE
SO MUCH MORE SENSITIVE TO
THE PLIGHTS OF SAME-SEX
SEX-HAVERS
AND SO
YOU, LIKE MOST OF THOSE PEOPLE,
WILL DENY MY GENIUS

THE PROBLEM WITH OUR WORLD
AS OF 2016 IS NOT SO MUCH
THAT PEOPLE ARE NARCISSISTS
THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM,
I MEAN,
LOOK AT ME, DO I CREATE
OR EXPAND
OR REFUSE TO FIX
ANY PROBLEMS? NO! NO!
A BAZILLIONTY-MEGAZILLION TIMES
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

IT'S OKAY THOUGH
YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS
AND WISH YOU
WERE ME.

Paul Behrer said...

Many of us wondered why the Simulated Beavers and their Big Brain Beaver, Ow! in Pain!**, disappeared from action.

It's because inPain! stopped playing at Ultimate Genius Poet of the Frilly Blouse Brigade, and put big energy into watercolor, graph paper, all-caps, and self-delusion.

Where once inPain! was just a sort of Blog DJ at BDR who sidelined in the Frilly Blouse Brigade, now he's a trebly-self-impressed (albeit highly Complicit) pomo poet who makes watercolor with tempera and ejaculate.

___________________

** in overwhelming pain because the world in which he lives is not gay and leftist to a person.

Chalupa the ULTRADOG said...

YOU JUST DO NOT
GET IT.

AT ALL.

IF YOU HAD ANY
AESTHETIC SENSE
OR ANY
KNOWLEDGE OF TRUE BEAUTY
YOU WOULD REALIZE
ONE SIMPLE THING

UGLY MUSIC IS
BEAUTIFUL MUSIC
WHEN YOU ARE GAY
BUT FORCED TO ACT
LIKE A DISGUSTING
BREEDER
INCLUDING MARRIAGE
AND FATHERHOOD
FROM A TERRIFYING
HETEROSEXUAL ACT
OF TREASONOUS
COPULATION

HENCE MY FEVERED
AND ETERNAL
WORSHIP OF
MORTON FELDMAN
AND
DON VAN VLIET
THE UGLIER THE TONES
THE MORE I WIN AND
THE MORE I PROVE
MY COMPLICITY
IS A BIG JOKE
ON YOU
YOU GET TROLLED
I SEE YOU
RICK-ROLLED
I WIN AGAIN

MY CHANCES OF
GETTING PUBLISHED
INCREASE BY
HYPER-EXPONENTIAL
AMOUNTS WHEN
I SPEND LOTS OF TIME
HATING ON
HOMOPHOBES
BREEDERS
REACTIONARIES
MISOGYNISTS
REPTHUGLICANS
TEA PARTY FUCKTARDS

INTEGRITY AND HONESTY
ARE NOT THE CASUALTIES
OF MY PERSONAL
MY OWN
MY VERY
REAL
COMPLICITY, OH NO!

INTEGRITY AND HONESTY
ARE TRAITS OF FOOLS
MORONS AND IDIOTIC
REACTIONARY CAVE-MEN
WHO HATE WOMEN AND
PROBABLY ARE
IN THE CLOSET

LYING AND DUPLICITY
GRAFT AND THIEVERY
MANIPULATION
AND
DISINFORMATION
ARE THE TOOLS AND
TRAITS OF
THE UBERLORDS OF
HUMAN SOCIETY

AS AN UBERLORD
IN TRAINING
I'M JUST DOING
WHAT BENEFITS ME
THE MOST

FUCK EVERYONE ELSE
ESPECIALLY THOSE WHO
DON'T PROPERLY MIRROR
MY OWN BELIEFS AND ACTS

HOLYFUCK!