Wednesday, January 27, 2016

psssst....

Hey, Charlie Sponsel, Kevin Bazar, jackalope@ridemonkey, kidwoo@ridemonkey, kidwoo@TGR --

You're welcome!

Yes, indeed -- you're welcome, for this blog providing a template that you use for offers of your own "humor" which is little more than imitation of this blog's written observations.

This blog thanks you for the way you hide this copycatting theft behind defamatory statements alleging insanity, etc., on the part of the person you copy so boldly and shamelessly.

And to you, Wendell Stam, rideit@TGR, rideit@ridemonkey --

Thanks for being a complete bigot and ripoff artist who pretends he's the Real Insider on Everything.

And to whichever of you hides behind WAKIdesigns@pinkbike, ditto to all the foregoing.

Keep imitating others, while taking credit for being "funny" in an audience of 30-something & 40-something "industry" dudes whose mental age is 14 and naivete is in the red zone, and therefore don't know you're copying someone else.  Besides, you're copying someone who can be written off as a "reactionary" who is a misogynist, etc.  Just ask your pal Cory Blackwood @ Konabikes.  He, like Hugo Schwyzer, is an authority on the subject.

You win again.

Kudos, 'n' shit.


--Harold Caidagh, whom you'll blame for every problem you've suffered in your childish pseudo-adult life.

19 comments:

Woozie Woo-Woo, Trustafarian of Tahoe said...

You're an idiot.

Choo-Choo Charlie's Gay Moustache said...

Like Charles Davis, I just wanna fuck your ass, and I'm pissed you won't let me. Why aren't you gay, or at least bi, or at least in the closet?

Wendy's Square Hamburger said...

Hey, I bolted together a cassette and a brake rotor, put a dowel on top of them, screwed a light fixture to the dowel, and I'm calling it art and pricing it at $1,125.00 US, right now, here today, for you and you alone. I'm an artist as well as realtor, con artist, and male feminist progressive. You're just jealous of me and my success with the ladies and with bunco scams. Hah hah, you just can't win!

Associated Ridemonkey Commenters said...

HOLYFUCK, nobody's as funny as jackalope/kidwoo, you are just trying to take credit for their comic genius. Also, rideit is a fuckin' hero, dude. You don't know what the fuck you're talking about. kickstand is a genius, too -- don't forget that.

You're just jealous you're not as far inside the industry as we are. We are so far inside the industry that we entered via the asshole, and exit via the mouth.

Harold Caidagh said...

What about those suppurating wounds who serve as the BIKE magazine writing and editorial staff? Vernon "Pus-Bag Supreme" Felton, for example. Ol' Vern is like Phillip Seymour Hoffman's character in Boogie Nights, just salivating after the chance to fluff another flaccid wand. Stroke it, Vern!

Every pus-bag a Hollywood Celebrity! Every hypocrite a noble progressive!

Cory's Solipsist Take on Reality said...

The reason I know you're a misogynist is because my wife reads your comments and is put in fear of her life. She thinks you're going to try to hurt her or at least try to control her uterus., Whatever she feels when she is paranoid, that's reality, and I'm sorry your insanity prevents you from seeing that. My wife is a terrific human being, extremely progressive, very tolerant, and accepting and promoting of diversity.

The fact that you are still single shows that you're a misogynist and no women like you, and never have liked you, and never will like you. I'm married and that proves I'm better with the ladies than you are.

Harold Caidagh said...

There are many gullible insecure women out there who need a man for income, and many of them will marry and even bear children in order to not have to support themselves. The fact of being coupled-up, engaged or married doesn't prove you're a great man, nor a genius of insight into the feminine take on life.

It only means you found a woman desperate enough to avoid self-sufficiency and marry you for support. It means nothing more than that.

Kudos, Cory. You found a fool.

Woozie Woo-Woo, Trustafarian of Tahoe said...

IMMA ROOST YO FAISSSSSSSS!

I'm no trust funder. There are at least 4 or 5 people in Tahoe who are richer than I am.

stuckathuntermtn said...

Yeah, he's not a trust funder. There are at least 4 or 5 people in Tahoe who are richer than he is. Besides, his income isn't from a trust fund. It's from random monetary gifts sent by his parents. Which is way different from a trust fund.

Woozie Woo-Woo, Trustafarian of Tahoe said...

Yeah, to be a trust funder or "trustafarian" I'd have to receive disbursements from a trust set up for my benefit.

There's no such trust. So I'm not a trust funder and not a trustafarian. Quit lying about me or IMMA ROOST YO FAISSSSSS!

Paul Behrer said...

Hal, don't you know that being a rich person who doesn't have to work in order to buy expensive things, that's no indication of "trust fund" or "trustafarian" status?

Such wealthy people earned their riches and their right to a life of leisure, so you shouldn't be jealous of that and shouldn't let the jealousy lead you to exaggerate or even lie about the existence of a trust fund when there isn't one lurking anywhere.

If the wealth flows from parents to layabout son, layabout son is well within his rights to deny trustafarian or trust funder status. His accumulated expensive trinkets do not disprove the denial. His lack of a need for income to support himself do not disprove the denial. Truly it is about whether there is a specific trust set up for the layabout. If there is not, then the layabout is a hero beyond question or criticism.

I read it on TGR and ridemonkey, so it must be true.

Harold Caidagh said...

I read it on TGR and ridemonkey, so it must be true.

Absolutely. There's a stringent vetting process at each forum, nobody can register a handle, let alone post comments, unless he proves he's (1) a serious industry insider; (2) funnier than Dave Chappelle, at least in the registrant's own mind; (3) registered to vote Democrat in all elections; (4) promised, with signed statement of affirmation, to disparage anyone who might seem as not being a Democrat and/or who might seem as possibly holding an IQ of >75 on the Stanford-Binet; and (5) as fashion-conscious and gossip-focused as any of the thousands of gay men who auditioned for a part on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

So, at each forum you will find metrosexual, bisexual and homosexual perspectives dominant, with insistence that gossip and fashion trends are extremely high values for every living human. When a random outsider happens to slip past the rigors of points (1)-(5) in the screening process described above, and asks why the commentariat is like something from gawker or salon or The Blade, the commentariat will respond with self-congratulatory remarks regarding the interloper's failure to get the "irony" of the collective commentariat's perspective.

These commentariat members believe that nobody on Earth can possibly be wiser, more insightful, more experienced at life than anyone in the commentariat. In fact, the commentariat assumes there is no life outside the commentariat. Thus if you can't pass the rigors of points (1)-(5) in the screening, you essentially do not exist.

Perhaps this is why, when left alone to their own devices (meaning: not copying UNSF material), the commentariat's "humor" is about that of Will Ferrell's most lame and cement-headed gags, and the commentariat's "intelligence" matches that of a knuckle-dragging neanderthal who still can't believe that the image seen in the mirror isn't a mortal enemy.

Skip Zofrenich said...

Oh jesus christ you redneck reactionary IDIOT. You take those forums WAAAAAY too serious. The forums are just places where genius industry insiders waste time and have a laugh. Nobody is serious about what they post. If you think we all look gay, bi, or metro then you are missing the joke, completely missing it. We don't take it serious, but you do. So we troll you and win. Because you think we take it serious. I think I might shit my pants from laughing so much at how dumb you are for taking it so serious.

How do you act like you're so all-smarty-everything when you can't even see we don't take it serious?

For example, kidwoo is actually really wealthy, but he likes to pretend he has to hunt squirrel and chipmunk for food and income. Do you know how many chipmunk and/or squirrel pelts he has to skin in order to make enough money to buy a new 26" 2.5 DHF in SuperTacky with DH casing? And he burns through 10 of those in a season. See, life really IS hard for kidwoo. And if you don't watch out, he'll roost yo faiss.

It's too bad you're such an insanely angry reactionary and don't get the irony of our incredible comic geniuses. Like kidwoo.

Stop taking it so serious, bro. Take a lap.

Signed,

Super Sock Puppet Alias no. 481, inhabiting TGR and RM forums for over 10 yrs now.

I WIN AGAIN!

Woozie Woo-Woo, Trustafarian of Tahoe said...

Wow, this guy's a stalker. I think he's actually in love with me.

stuckathuntermtn said...

Yeah totally a stalker, totally in love with you.

Skip Zofrenich said...

Dude, I'm not a stalker, I'm defending you. Just like stuckie.

stuckathuntermtn said...

Yeah, he's defending you, just like me.

bushwackerinPA said...

kidwoo dolphin turn nobody skis better than me I moved to SLC and got my PSIA LI and LII then moved to Stowe got my LIII suckit pops you dont get it everythings a joke especially if you cant do dolphin turns like me I was fatter than shit as a kid then I found TGR and decided I would be a skiing badass so I created a bogus image on TGR and kept up the everythings a joke doncha no and if you dont no then jokes on you stupid fool who cant dolphin turn and proballie dint memureyes produck manyuls like stuckathuntermtn who got TGR celebrity status from saying get the red ones more than anyone, he's a funny-ass dude who is smarter than most think but maybe no probally not smarts as me but then who is.

Brian LINDAHL, UBERGOD of THE SKIING said...

Look, this asshole writing this stupidass blog shit pile isn't an engineer and doesn't routinely ski at 235mph while doing at least 50 hucks of at least 25 feet each per run. He didn't have his wife leave him and then turn to TGR to boost his fragile ego by posting from a perspective of egomaniacal pompousness and pretentious aspiration to subtle perceptions unavailable to everyone else who isn't Brian LINDAHL.

So fuck him and his stupidass stalking of me and everyone else he's jealous of. Seriously.