Friday, January 29, 2016

...and if your tooth falls out, put it under your pillow!

This explains the approach of Stephanie Slade at the Silent T.

Those Iowans "study up on" the candidates and really should be wearing white lab coats, they're so thorough and modern and scientific in their analysis.  Rest assured, they are Middle America + general high degree status per capita (even including a well-known Writers Workshop!) etc, so they reflect the whole nation within their caucus number's snapshot.  It may seem as though depending on the Iowa Caucus is like doing a scientific study with 100 subjects and extrapolating it to billions and true scientists would laugh at such misrepresentation-via-undersized-study-group, but when it comes to The Way Things Are In Government, a small caucus of Iowans will reflect America's best-informed thoughts on who should be crowned as Game-Changing POTUS© in January 2017.

Furthermore, and to explain further, without unnecessary diversion or misdirection, we have agreed collectively as a Silent T Hive-Mind that voting is how Government will be changed most effectively for the best of all, or at least all who had the wisdom to study engineering, software design, or image management/marketing/personal brand coaching and therefore have come to plug themselves into the battery known as the Silent T Hive-Mind.

Our editorial staff assures us that the perspective of an earnestly na├»ve college freshman is the best P.O.V. to offer when it comes to political analysis.  Government is good and fair except when it isn't and that almost never happens and whatever used to happen was fixed by the 1965 Civil Rights Act; cannabis should not be criminalized but tax-and-regulate makes good sense because of the jobs it creates for people who are in marketing and because grey and black market people are filthy criminals who are probably domestic terrorists.  Corporations have too much power but greed is the best value we can aspire toward collectively, and if you're not greedy there's something wrong with you, making you a cuck or, worst-of-worsts, not a Cosmotarian.  Political correctness we all agree is something that's gone too far, but gays-lesbians-bis-trannies-furries-crossdressers-pedophiles-bestials are easily hurt by words and we should watch what we say.  And condemn those who say the wrong things.  Government spending is out of control and military projection is spending us into an unsurmountable deficit, but Israel needs our help and those Muslims are insane and must be stopped.

--Paul Behrer, observer of your smug hypocrisy

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