Thursday, August 13, 2015

subjective satire -- or at least, satire-wannabe

A group of multicultural, international aspirants to satire gathered recently with a focus on trying to satirize Donald Trump's placement in the 2016 POTUS race.  We had a stealth reporter there to capture the workings of this august congress and its work products.

Faithful Democrat:  OMIGOD, he's a REPTHUGLICAN!  Wants you to STARVE!  Then DIE!  He will bring ANARCHY!  (carted out of room by EMTs, who suspect cerebrovascular event despite patient's age of 24 yrs old)

GOP Republican:  Not a serious contender, no foreign policy experience.  Just like Hillary.  (grins a Mona Lisa smile, thumps briefcase in a ba-dum-BUMP manner)

Progressive Democrat:  His hair is SCANDALOUS!  Plus he started on third base and believed he HIT A TRIPLE!  MISOGYNIST too!  Doesn't believe in CAMPUS RAPE EPIDEMIC!  Stupider than SARAH PALIN!  Has BINDERS full of women like MITT ROMNEY!  Plus a total HOMOPHOBE!  (struts about with triumphant smug bearing somewhat like that of Pajama Boy)

Japanese PoliSci Student @ George Washington University:  (submission is cartoon of Herbie but with doe eyes, saying You're Feye-ed!)

Socialist Workers Party representative:  Anyone that rich is a thief, unless he's Noam Chomsky.  Hah hah.  Get it?  Get it?  Get it now?  How about now?  Still don't get it?  You must be a reactionary fascist!  Hah hah hah hah!  (waves copy of Manufacturing Consent, occasionally opening to fly leaf with alleged Chomsky autograph)

Green Party campaign manager for Jill Stein MD:  All those riches and he doesn't even like tofu, and his limousine isn't an alt-fuel vehicle!  Never eaten quinoa!  Doesn't even approve of wind power!  Jealous of Elon Musk!  (constantly air-thrusting  Blackphone 2 prototype opened to webpage for Tesla, demanding that cameraman get it on video)

Canadian student majoring in Post-Homophobic Economics @ University of British Columbia:  Reminds me of Rob Ford without the waistline (snickers like a 9 year old girl who just heard her friend say "Darren has cooties!")

Faux-Libertarian regular commenter at reason.com:  Wood chipper for Trump!  Wants to destroy free markets by cornering them and keeping everything for himself!  (sits back and waits for congratulatory-seeming dull-witted parrot comments by other forum regulars)


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