In a rare, crossing-astral-planes interview, escaped and retired blogger Charles F. Oxtrot finds himself resurrected and offered the chance to interview the questionably-existing blogger also known as The Undersigned. Please don't ask how it was arranged. I had nothing to do with it. Oxtrot appeared out of the ether and demanded my assistance with his momentary return to blog-voice-projection. I couldn't refuse. So many people have tried to describe him to me, indirectly, through the mistaken assumptions they harbor when throwing accusations his way. Or sometimes my way, mistaking me for him.
Your're following me here, I'm sure.
No more words, here's the stuff.
That's right people, I got a few nags on my spiritual, eternal and ethereal conscience, and I aim to voice them right here right now. I'm gonna let Ochstradt help me. If he can avoid getting confused.
No worries, Chuck. It's under control.
Karl, what the fuck is up with the people who are optimistic and excited about the present and future implications of this recent bit of ivory tower / Big Technology / Whored Science chest-thumping? Have they forgotten all about Fukushima? Or Chernobyl*? Or Three Mile Island? Or any of the other 55 nuke no-no's that have happened in SuperMerica?
Chuck, the nearest I get to understanding things would run something like this. Americans worship technology just as strongly as a devout Christian praises God and Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit, amen. And probably even stronger. On average. Their idea of a better world for their children is one in which the child never goes outside, but instead stays inside and lives vicariously through a combination of smartphone, video game console, and babysitter software. Progressive babysitter, I mean. Soft touch. Lots of praise. No boundaries. Just a soothing presence. And growing more lenient each year starting at age 4. Realistically by age 16 the babysitter software is now a tool that the child manipulates, hacks, modifies, tweaks to fool his/her parents into thinking all is well.**
So if there is some particle-physics discovery that promises to change reality as we know it, radically so, like when we all knew the earth was a ball and not a cube -- like how that changed virtually everything for everyone who never travelled beyond a few miles from home -- well some if not most Americans are going to herald its announcement, because that means sooner, rather than later, they will achieve their fantasy of having technology make every aspect of their life automated and, best of all, performed by a technological substitute for human effort.
What are you saying, Karl? That people would become cybernetic if given the chance?
Many would, yes. I believe that. I think a lot of people don't worry about such things as RFID chipping because they foresee a world where thanks to implanted communication devices of a nano- scale,*** they simply imagine a Starbucks beverage, and it's waiting for them when they arrive at the Starbuck's drive-thru. Or their home "kitchen" dispenses 3 little pills for "dinner" and the "dinner" tastes just like the rare, exquisite meal they fantasize about eating in Paris -- but without the travel or cooking at home, and just as satisfying, plus LOW FAT et cetera. People's use of Bluetooth devices and the like suggest I'm correct here. I'm sure there's a segment of America that finds the Bluetooth slow, antiquated, annoyingly externalized, and far below what true cyborgs can achieve. When Future Valhalla arrives, I mean.
That's what I think. For now. But what about you, you're the one who wanted airtime?
* If you actually are reading this blog and are young enough to have been born after Chernobyl, and didn't come here by accident, and have visited more than twice, that's gonna surprise Oxtrot.
** Good thing abortions are so easy to access, because that way lots of kids' parents never have to experience the anxiety of knowing how to keep everything quiet and get the problem solved without anyone knowing. Best if only the boy and girl and helpful feticidal practitioner are the only ones who know.
*** How exciting!