Thursday, December 31, 2015

president of fan club = same thing as investigative journalist

Apparently Nick Gillespie = Glenn Greenwald = Tarzie.

Yes, NSA is changing policies "because of Edward Snowden." 

Right.

If you're Nick=Tarzie=Glenn, just allege the causal connection.  Why prove it when you're busy building and selling a theme for eedjit mindless tribalist consumption?  And besides, proof is for courtrooms and even there we all know that Jack Nicholson spoke the plain simple veracity-laden explanation for why courtroom proof never really seeks the truth.

But then again, Jack's a known womanizer, hence misogynist purveyor of the cis-het-pat-riarchy.  So maybe he's really just an actor, unlike Matt Damon or Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert or Bill Maher.

Take a few minutes here to fry your brain while you sort out where the line(s) is(are) drawn between & among the categories of news reader, actor, and "political talk show host" or "political satirist".

*******************

Is Nick Gillespie really so stupid as to believe Glenn Greenwald and the "Edward Snowden" fable?  Is he trying to make himself into the Aesop of the 21st Century?

Or does Nick maybe not give two shits about the truth, neither cynically and ironically pursuant to the Nicholson video linked above, nor as a value to hold in mind generally, where his journalistic enterprise is concerned?

What makes the Silent T any different from the Washington Post or New York Times on this absurd fairy tale?

And once again, why is arch whistleblower and destroyer and wide-open-blower of national security secrets "Edward Snowden" still alive if his big revelations were so game-changing?  And where are the documents he snuck out to Greenwald for pre-disclosure review?  They're not even dripping out, let alone being released in that much-feared "dump" like a giant earth-mover load from something like a Terex Titan.

I guess Tarzie can fill you in on that, if Nick and Glenn won't.


-- Harold Caidagh, still thumbing nose in direction of GRH, SJWs, and all others who think he should keep his thoughts to himself.


Saturday, December 26, 2015

the yuck, the yuckle, the buckling yuckling suckle

Maybe this wouldn't be an issue for you if you didn't have that absurd tribal need to identify as "a Jew". Maybe the identity as "a Jew" carries too much Spiritual Exclusivity and Existential Supremacy baggage. All that Chosen shit. 'n' shit.

Perhaps you should keep your god-damned magical thinking (hey thanks, Crowbar!) to yourself. Honestly, I don't care if you want to worship a 6 pointed star and call yourself Chosen and sequester yourself with opposition to the goyim and their ways of treyfness.

I don't really mind if you want to remove leavening for Passover, to guilt the shit out of yourself while you make "jokes" about Catholic goyim and their guilt issues.

What did the ancient Jewish people do to deserve this self-flagellation of guilt mixed with arrogant Chosen-ness?

More importantly, why would someone choose to make him/herself into something so many people find distasteful, socially speaking?

Because the rabbi cut some skin off your dick?

Because your parents did the song-and-dance of guilt-with-superiority?

And why are you so quick to heap scorn and hatred on the Christians?

And why are you so greedy?

And so eager to make a quick profit regardless of long-term social destruction qualities advanced in the monetary gain?

And so eager to run confidence scams on others while pretending you're doing it for social or technological progress that benefits all of humanity?

These are the questions I'd like to see someone ask, as a stand-up routine.

But the poor soul would be terminated before the act was over.

Or cut completely out of the "scene" or whatever the rent-seekers call the enterprise of selling stand-up performance done by others.

It's considered healthy to make fun of rednecks.  Of Christians.  Or of Southerners.  Or, especially in this 2d decade of the 21st C, it's rather chipper and very vigorous, health-wise, to make fun of heterosexuals.

I can't see how any of this ties together though.


-- H.M. Lohmann, comfortably acknowledging his spiritual and existential naivety.

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

derailed in your teens, never saw the enemy



Possibly a rerun. The editorial staff can't recall if posted before. Added today mostly for the Danny Thompson bass work, but the lyrics and RT guitar don't exactly suck for the opening warmup song on the tour's stops. Available from RT's site on Beewswing, as a whole show recorded during The Old Kit Bag tour, called Ducknapped!

RT warms up nicely on the next song, Pearly Jim. If you just let YouTube roll through, you'll get that next. And then Outside of the Inside, which the editorial staff definitely has posted before.

Don't bug me or anyone else here with commentary on his Californicating and softer Steely Dan-esque production, it's not about that.


--Karl Franz Ochstradt, fan of melancholy guitarists everywhere

Monday, December 21, 2015

nolan =/= soderbergh

Maybe it was the way the air-stuffed Wonder Bread quality of Inception won such excited puffery from the experts, maybe the ego already was on its asymptotic trajectory, but either way, Christopher Nolan seems convinced he has the atmospheric and other hard-to-quantify chops of a Stephen Soderbergh.

Why else would he try to top Soderbergh's interpretation of Solaris?

The thing that makes Soderbergh's Solaris so good is that it doesn't ape-but-modernize when using the same source novel as Tarkovsky.  It sets up the psychologically tense, wrong-footing-at-every-turn landscape a little better than Tarkovsky's version.  Tarkovsky's version is Tarkovsky:  see The Sacrifice.

Nolan seems to be trying for meld-aping both Solyaris and The Sacrifice while modernizing the mix.  A tiny thumbnail version of The Sacrifice, and the something-like-style of Solyaris.  But again -- modernized.  Thus the wicked coolness of the visuals while moving through the wormhole, or the Iceland-located barrenness that served as Mann's planet.

While watching Interstellar I thought of grabbing my .mp3 player and using its dictation-recording ability.  There were so many scientific SNAFUs that should not have escaped the attention of the Greatest Science Minds on Earth, I was MST3King the show.  But to no real audience.

Just for one big clusterfuggle:  why would they think two planets sitting next to a black hole would have stable environments?  And stable for a long time?  Not prone to being affected by the wicked anomalous stuff going on right next door?

They land on each and are surprised that each is barren.  "But the reports were so positive!"

Supposedly it's a "plot twist" caused by Michael Caine's nihilism.

In any case, there isn't much more to say at this end.  It's said better, and funnier, by a reviewer on IMDB named ruskin-462-304151, you can find it here, it should be top of the pile.


Sunday, December 20, 2015

meme generator 101

It is beyond cavil that in the 21st Century, in the United States of America, both online and in that despised physical corporal world everyone wants so badly to escape,** you must, as a participating citizen of this great social enterprise heretofore referenced as the United States of America, stay current with whatever new idea, phrase, or 140-character utterance is considered your age-cohort-reflective version of the jr high school or high school student's idea of "popularity."

Upon such notions are great nations built.

Likewise, because in this same time period people are tired of thinking of what's straightforwardly obvious and true, self-concept must be built in the negative.  You are not this, you would never be that, how can anyone possibly think ________ is socially acceptable, etc.  In your age-cohort-reflective social colossus --that very same think tank of social media trend building into which Zuckerbergs tap for manipulation to fiscal advantage-- you will employ what you consider "humor" to further show your Good Citizen status, and this "humor" will also be cast in the negative.  You choose a masticated and pepsin-deconstructed version of irony, one so digested into constituents it shouldn't still be running under the same label.

But you have motive force, you can build trends.

You might build one based on something you saw elsewhere.  But you wouldn't credit the source, because that might make you look unoriginal, and the "ironic" display shouldn't ever match the comic construct to which it aspires.  That would have too much substantive integrity, which isn't a good fit in your nugatory world.





__________________________
**Hence the obsession with online as reality, face buried in smartphone/tablet/laptop/desktop display, more energy into twitter and facebook than in talking to neighbors and thinking about who might be playing "no cookie crumbs on my paws" when examining public spending and yes-votes by those you believed to represent your interests fairly adequately and _____________ (with progress always in mind / always conserving fiscal resources in the most prudent manner), et cetera.  Tell me I'm not correct here.

Tuesday, December 15, 2015

eye minardiss

To be honest, my poetry, when I look up from the page to see what I've written, is often too full of overt political declarations, it's what I'm best at rhythmically, propulsively, embarrassingly, I'm so much better at that than I am the object-subject-subject-object-ology of poetry I somehow came to believe was superior, poetry's aim and goal.
The reason Chalupa chose poetry, chose to feminize himself, chose the foofiest use of "style" to the exclusion of chewy content when working in wordville was, he says, to impress women. But with what? His femininity?

Perhaps he was at the time too enamored of Bobby Xgau, whose male feminism got HIM a woman artist. But I think I'd rather be alone than with a pretentious woman.  And I'd surely rather be alone than pretend to be something I'm not to gain something I don't even really want deep down inside.**

****************

"Artists."

What frauds. What hammy C-movie actors on this Stage of Life.

They remind me of everything wrong with cliques, tribalism, and condescension-by-comparison -- which also is known by the term "passive-aggressive display."

****************

Chalupa tells us he's "good at" a kind of poetry.

Hey: Chalupa: you're not.


If your poetry was anything but pretense, it could stand on its own without graph paper or watercolor gussying it up in hopes you will, thanks to the graph paper/watercolor distraction from the content itself, end up as the Fad of the Moment.

****************

Perhaps the internet should let you know what you're "good at"?

You know -- in the same way you've done for about 10 yrs now, under various handles, at others' interweb homes?

Here's what you're slightly above-average at doing, Chalupa.

-being a condescender-by-comparison, while thinking you're making witty observations about fools whose foolishness needs exposing to the wider world.

-and imitating the "artists" you think "matter."

Here's what you're really good at doing, Chalupa.

-being still 15 yrs old, still dressing like the Kool Kids dress, still talking like the Kool Kids talk, still doing whatever Kool Kids things the Kool Kids did that made them the Kool Kids in your 15 year old mariposita mind.

****************

When I emerge from this chrysalis I shall sprout beautiful wings and fly well over your head, you redneck Republican helmetball fan! screamed 15 year old Chalupa at his arch-enemy Gavin McSorley, Irish Catholic son of an auto mechanic who attracted the girls without any effort, and who was lusted after by Chalupa and the other maripositas in the PE showers, his louche dirty-fingernailed-and-obviously-hetero-ness not an obstacle to the same-sex lust of the little Ernst Rohms and James Whales and pseudo-Oscar Wildes of Chalupa's HS.

That McSorley is such a helmetball redneck!  He's the reason all the girls don't notice my immense fashion sense and invite me into their inner circle!  Always making fun of how I talk, calling me Paul Lynde, but I'm not on Hollywood Squares and I'm definitely not a square!  I'm cooler than an icicle!

****************

Naturally it was inevitable Chalupa would, in his early 40s, decide he needed to be a blogger and not only that, but a blogger who blogs as if he's a celebrity whose opinions about everything are what the world is waiting to hear.  He thought that if he let everyone know he listened to Kool Kids music and admired artfag-hero artists and "understood" the greatest most hollow pretenders in poetry and "poetry" and all other more standard formattings of "the language arts", then perhaps he really was a celebrity whose very perspiration droplets (men sweat, women perspire) are what the gen-pub clamor for and fight over and want badly to drink, bottle, or merely worship themselves.

A decade into the project, he began trumpeting his status as a Kool Kid of politics: a Donkeyphile who has had his Obamapostasy; a Donkeyphile who says he's a "leftist," a Donkeyphile who says bad things about Elephants and even worse things about those who refuse to choose a side in Donkey vs Elephant.


I've always been a Red, a Leftist.  Red in the historical sense, not in the Red State/Blue State sense.  Voted Obama.  Voted Kerry.  Voted Clinton.  Voted Dukakis.  Would have voted Carter in 1980 if a couple years older.  Red as red can be.  Blood red.  And very gauche.

And it depresses me, because I live among helmetball fans instead of football (soccer) fans, among Elephant fans instead of Donkeyphiles, among Christians instead of Atheists & Jews, and among long-form writers instead of word-artist poets.

Thus, I am the Black Dog Red.  Depressed socialist.  Surrounded by Reactionary Christer Cracker Redneck Misogynist Homophobes.

Go Bernie!

My word artistry is without parallel.  Worship me now!

*****************

Doesn't this kind of RAGESPEW, reactionary variant, enhanced subtlety sub-genre, just go so well with your herbal tea this morning, Chalupa?

Yield to the absurd hatred of the Other, Chalupa.

Just give in.


--Harold Caidagh, wondering how Chalupa manages to tell himself he's impressive.


______________________

**Chalupa wants and longs for the male sexual appendage, and by this I don't mean he's a compulsive masturbator, but instead, is a deluded XY+XY person who is in the closet because he can't let go of his Diego Maradona fantasy from 40 yrs ago and Maradona wasn't a mariposa.

Saturday, December 12, 2015

my golden handcuffs have corinthian leather padding to prevent discomfort

Maybe a decade ago, I got into an online argument.  Surprising, isn't it?  I'm not the contentious sort and typically prefer discussion to argument, but when given lemons and you're thirsty, what's a guy to do?

The argument concerned the International Moron Breeding Association, commonly pitched to the American populace as the International Mountain Biking Association.  And it concerned Ashley Korenblat, and I accused AK of yuppie perspectives and gentrification embodiment, wrapped up in the handle that back then was just beginning but as of 2015 is everywhere:  "grow the sport."

This blog's various authors, in varying states of disgust and/or disappointment regarding the way IMBA fails to look at things long-term unless it's about long-term income streams and that vaunted journalistic principle of "access," have talked about "grow the sport" before.  Simply:  if you want something to last and that something is a participant-focused thing, you will want participants who have a vested interest in the thing.  And by "vested interest" I mean, more than a passing fad's "oh MTB is cool now, I think I'll get a mtn bike," which gets ridden for a season at best and becomes a dust magnet thereafter.  Bringing such people "into the sport" doesn't help anyone but the retailers.  The retailers aren't the riders.  The riders you'd want to work with are those who have spent a long time bicycling and have seen what has happened to access for MTBs during that long time.  Someone who just started MTB thanks to an article in Outside magazine hyping carbon wonderbikes, that person doesn't know much, if anything, about what MTB riders have dealt with over the past 20 years when trying to have equal access (equal to horses and walkers) to trails within state and federal lands.

Surprise was not on the menu when I read this entry just now and saw AK's response in the comments thereafter.

Short version of AK's response:  but we need access to succeed.

It's like Marxists, who support incremental voting-in of Marxist politicians, the better to have a Marxist-dominant legislature, which eventually will create a Marxist government for the Marxist benefit of everyone.  The fact that it would take 500 years to vote-in a majority as Marxist is of no moment.  Get access, increase access, convert the system.**

The problems with AK's perspective relate to a focus on "access" and a belief that being accommodating is the key to getting Fed Govt to see things your way.  This being a product of naivete is not likely, and I would wager a sizeable sum that AK knows FedGov doesn't play fair, it expects you to play ball.

When you want FedGov to budge from an intractable regulatory/legal stance, "public participation" is going to net you nothing more than FedGov going through the motions of "receiving" your comments regarding its intractable position(s).  It has no obligation to take your comments seriously, let alone rework its intractable position to account for concerns, quarrels, and antipathies laid out in whatever comments are received.

The only way to get movement on the intractable position is litigation.  But AK thinks it's better to "come to the table" (quotes don't mean AK said this, they mean to suggest it's a cliche) and smile and nod and end up, once again, the red-headed stepchild of trail users.

Ashley Korenblat doesn't speak for me or any other MTB rider I know.  Ashley Korenblat speaks to status quo maintenance on trail access, not rocking the boat, not being a burr under FedGov's saddle.  Ashley Korenblat speaks to Ashley Korenblat's moving up the $$ ladder thanks to "access."  Ashley Korenblat doesn't care if MTB riders in MT and ID just lost a bunch of trail mileage access, because contesting that loss would reduce Ashley Korenblat's "access."



_____________________________

** See here, scroll down to the "Karl Marx" part.

Friday, December 11, 2015

don't stop, don't think


I'm not sure how many categories this fits, but for initial impressions:

1) "green jobs"
2) "clean coal"
3) "environmental economics"
4) "externalities" in regular economics
5) Ron Bailey @ The Silent T

Thursday, December 10, 2015

more canadian "humour"

Spam McWay at Ennis Emby, in the so-called "lede":
What in the name of Jeebus would possess anyone to spend the price of a new refrigerator on a pair of mountain bike wheels…
Hah hah hah. Jeebus. Hah hah hah.

Hey, but wait.  How's come it haint Yah-yah-yah-Way?

Hah hah hah.  Price of new refrigerator in the upscale cliques in which Spam McWay runs in North Los Angeles must be absurd, but necessary to keep up with the Gordons, eh Spam?

I know that if my fridge goes tango uniform, I'm spending $3,000 USD at least.  Nothing but the most expensive icebox can keep your food cold in the manner to which North Los Angeleans have become accustomed.

*************

To Spam's non-credit, he "walks it back"** by clarifying he can make a tepid joke with the best of the Barneyfans in Canada.  Here's Spammer in the full glory of his word-mega-salad:
You may be wondering what in the name of Jeebus would possess anyone to spend the price of a new top-of-the line refrigerator on a pair of mountain bike wheels, besides vanity, obsessiveness and sheer idiocy.
See, he was just kidding.  He really didn't mean that every person in Vancouver has to own and use a $3,000 USD refrigerator.

Those Canadians, they're so funny!

I'm going to go listen to Barenaked Ladies now.  Such arch satirists!


--Paul Behrer, a veritable font of disappointment here on your computer/phone/tablet display.



____________________________

** Oh yes, we know all the best refined, informed TED lecture audience member lingo. Walk it back, Spammer. Walk it back.  And "lede."  See how much we know about hipsterisms in the 21st Century North American dialect!

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

seemingly unrelated

Have you noticed that Getting Rich by Kasting a Lein is running out of sock puppet energy?  5 comments/post, all by the same hand as the author of the OP, no distinction in voices, and the sloppiness of having two different "handles" using the same exact avatar and the same exact perspective voiced.

Every post = Donkey lust barely concealed, quite like Dennis Perrin.  But at the same time as the Donkey lust continues unabated, there are whinges about how "the left" keeps "losing" to "the right."

It's like the deluded fools who plan their year around the Super Bowl and treat that game as the ultimate reference point of what is noble in humanity.  Obviously the game has to be Good vs Evil and obviously, whomever you are, your Team is the one that represents Good.

It doesn't matter that you have almost innumerable adversaries who approach the theatrical distraction as seriously as you do, but from the opposite side.  They, too, are convinced they represent what is Good.

******************

How do people go around equating "the left" with the Donkeys?

We should ask Chalupa.  He seems to be the point man on this little gambit.  You know:  Obamapostasy happens because D = the Left, but O = something sickeningly deceptive inasmuch as I assumed his half-Blackness meant Leftist and thus D = the Left remains sacrosanct as a theoretical construct thriving in my echo-laden cranium.

All this, while preening self as the Great Seer, but as usual, "self-deprecating" with such things as

My Complicity

or

CASSANDRA, CANARY, WEATHERVANE, FOOL


We're supposed to be moved to BWAAAAAAAAH HAH HAH HAH HAH doubled over in hilarity at that, but it's not moving anyone in that manner.

Instead, it's like this:

I am incredibly pathetic.  I'd like to imagine myself as the insightful one, but I'm rather sightless, as my track record demonstrates.  So maybe I'd be better off selling myself not on sociopolitical insights or human psychology & motivation revelations, but instead, a firm fast hold on my perspective at age 15 when I told myself I was not only the Pontiff of Artistic Progress in my clique, but also --in the making, that is/was-- the nascent Diego Maradona of my HS.  This I prove now, at age 55, with my inside-baseball knowledge of trivia relevant to stadium design, stadium location, criticism of a coach, criticism of a player.  I do this from the perspective of one who, at age 15, had great potential in his mind where soccer (euro football, not helmetball) was concerned.  Let's not pay heed to where all that potential went, and whether I ever fulfilled it in any amount or to any degree.  What matters is that at 15, I was brimming with potential in the Arts and in Soccer, and that's the entity I hold in mind 40 years later when I look at myself.

Cribbed from the graph-paper watercolor journal of Chalupa, Artist in Residence at Georgetown University Library Staff.


******************

The continual battle waged within minds is what we should attend to here. 

If you mistakenly believed that your chosen Hero or Savior was interested in doing things for the benefit of all --or at least all who, like you, support the Winning Team-- and then later you discover in mid-life something most intelligent people discovered around 18-25 yrs of age, it's clear what you should do.

You should blame OTHERS for how you, in your naivete that pretends at great wisdom/insight, created a false myth for your sense of belonging and identity and worth.

******************

In the case of the Rich who Kast a Lein for humint manip purposes, what you should do is complain about how today, "the Left" are not being "true Leftists" and further the ruse with an assertion insisting that when you first began "supporting" them, "the Left" were as left as left can be, so diametrically opposed to the Right that they just could not be more Left if they tried. 

What happened to them?

I know.

Reactionaries did it.


--Paul Behrer, with pity and remorse.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Chalupa ate some catnip and now is manic


HOLYFUCK! 
INSANE RIGHTOID REACTIONARIES!
WHERE'S THE FUCKING GUN CONTROL, OBAMA?
HOLYFUCK!
 
SEATSIX, 
WE'LL GET MURDERED AT THE GAME
UNLESS OBAMA TAKES THOSE REACTIONARIES' GUNS
PLANET, 
YOU'LL DIE WHILE MAKING ART
UNLESS OBAMA TAKES THOSE REACTIONARIES' GUNS
EARTHGIRL, 
YOU'LL DIE WHILE IGNORING ME AGAIN
UNLESS OBAMA TAKES THOSE REACTIONARIES' GUNS
MY WFMU e-BUDDIES, 
YOU'LL DIE UNLESS...UNLESS...
UNLESS OBAMA TAKES THOSE REACTIONARIES' GUNS

HOLYFUCK!
THOUGHT I WAS A GENIUS, BUT
I'M JUST A LIBRARIAN
HOLYFUCK!

HOLYFUCK!
CHRISTER CRACKER REDNECKS NEED TO BE KILLED
BUT ONLY AFTER
WE DO WHAT'S NEEDED, MEANING:
OBAMA TAKES THOSE REACTIONARIES' GUNS!

HOLYFUCK!
I'LL RENEG ON MY OBAMAPOSTASY WHEN
OBAMA TAKES THOSE REACTIONARIES' GUNS!

HOLYFUCK!
EVERYTHING I HATE = REACTIONARY!

HOLYFUCK!
WHERE ARE MY ANTI-PSYCHOTIC MEDS?
HOLYFUCK!

HOLYFUCK!

HOLYFUCK!
I'M AFRAID OF MY OWN SHADOW 
IN 
MEATSPACE, 
BUT
ONLINE I CAN KICK ANYONE'S ASS, AND
ESPECIALLY A FUCKING
REACTIONARY POSING AS 
A NEO-LIBERAL WHO
IS JUST A REACTIONARY WHO
VOTED FOR RON PAUL AND
IDENTIFIES AS TEA PARTY AND
THUS REQUIRING
IMMEDIATE EXTERMINATION 
DONE BY
ME!

HOLYFUCK!

I HATE BEING INVISIBLE!

HOLYFUCK! 

HOLYFUCK!
I'LL ADD THE WATERCOLOR
LATER 
TO PROVE
I'M AN ARTIST TOO
EVEN THOUGH
A TRISOMY 21
CHILD OF TWO
CAN DO BETTER ART
THAN ME

HOLYFUCK!

fucking mike fucking stool-eating levy

Mike Levy wants you to think that Congress giving money for "bike paths" is good.

Apparently Mike doesn't think MOUNTAIN bikes need anywhere to ride that isn't paved. Mike, and D8 (RC) and Dumbo Kazimer, all they care about is fucking click farming. And they do it by pretending they give two flying fucks and 3 floating blowjobs about "mountain biking."

Apparently, they only care about e-riding, because they're happy to see hyper-expensive urban "bike lanes" and even happier to see singletrack lost to doublewide "flow" and total loss of trail access in, y'know, the MOUNTAINS.

But urban bike paths from the Congress, that's what two doofus Canucks (Leeeeeeveeeee and Kazzy Murr) and a moron Murken (Are See Dee Eight) think is best for those of us who've lost our trails.

"It's okay, people in the Bitterroot NF, Lolo NF, Boulder-White Clouds, Sawtooths, etc. People in Santa Clara CA are getting new asphalt with fancy paint on it."

Fuck you, Greedy Mike.

Just go fuck yourself.

You can't even admit to yourself that you don't know govt policy, govt planning, land mgt, urban planning, budget apportionment, forest management, trails access, or anything but click farming, can you?

You just work as a porn movie set fluffer.

Nice work.


--Harold Caidagh, thumbing his nose at GRH, Judge Flappe and anyone else who thinks he should shut up

Friday, December 4, 2015

two glass eyes

Attaboy, Matty:

Donate to Reason! Because We Believe in Due Process Even/Especially When the World Goes Mad

Yes, that's why Veronica de-Reggie'd just glosses over 4th and 5th A concerns in this recent essay.

(off-screen/off-stage Matt Welch: "Dude, you just don't get the irony at the core of my journalistic comedy.")

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

oh canada!

Given the chance, a resident of British Columbia will be pleased to inform you on how progressive things are in the left-most province of Canada.  Everyone's polite, everyone's positive, and by golly the living standards are shooting through the roof of this incredible skyscraper!  It's green, it's developing rapidly, and there is naught but social progress on the horizon as far as the eye can see.

Canadians from BC also are rapid in their denunciation of their sub-border neighbors in America.  Whatever bad happens in BC, it's almost always Americans to blame.  A domestic BC issue that comes out on the regressive, reactionary side of the ideal social equation, that's due to American Lawyers working their evil witchery and forcing Canadian lawyers to behave like the dastardly American ones.  If things are topsy-turvy in British Columbia ministrations of justice, that's because of Americans.

Naturally I am fully willing to accept blame for this recent decision of the BC Supreme Court.  As an American lawyer working in the state of Neuwestia, I can assure you that I lobbied hard here on the internet (though I did not tweet about it, twitter still being well beyond my technocapacities) for a way to use judicial power to sanctify hawkish paramilitary protection of mining assests in Guatemala.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

limbo rick


There was a small dog from GP,
who should not be mistaken for me.
His blog stance superior,
his brainpower inferior,
but he's racking up twitter XP.

In matters of morals:
he's king!
To prove fidelity:
he wears a ring.
But king of himself?
And proof to himself?
Neither's regal,
nor probative.
Just bling.

As lord of all he surveys
he fixes his narrow gaze
on things that don't touch him
but serve as frat rush hymn
in a brotherhood
of massages
sur chaise.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

all things to all people: the modern renaissance human

Since F4 is out of reach for winter diversion, I got a copy of Rise of the Tomb Raider and started playing that.  I played the 2013 Tomb Raider game last winter, so this ROTR isn't totally new to me as compared to the classic originals that I played on PS1 and PS2.  I'm aware that it's both open-world and linear, I'm aware that it's formulaic (hunt for things lazily identified with the "awareness" function that makes it all glow for you; platforming jumps/crawls/swings meshed with Bat-Utility-Belt tool trickery; more combat and less puzzle-solving than original game; and an attempt at being more literary/story-oriented than the original game.

It also arrives in a certain game-playing era, one that keeps moving faster and further toward the end point of a barely-involved watching of an animated story.FN

The reviews I scanned before getting a copy of the game were almost to a person impressed with the graphics of the game, but I'm sure they're talking about the cinematic cutscenes, because the actual game world is no more impressive graphically than Skyrim when run on my 360 and CRT.  Of course Skyrim only has very minor cutscene use, and even then mostly if you activate the combat action cam for kill scenes.  Otherwise you have the opening lead-in cinematic, and nothing else.  On those bases, Skyrim's graphics are weaker.  But in the actual gameplay situation, one's as good as the other.

The biggest gripes I have so far are these:

1) Tough combat situations will arise suddenly, not as a ramp-up of existing combat.  For this to work well, the shooting mechanics and camera control of Lara & her weapon must be precise, or playing the scenario will result in those moments that can make you need to buy a new controller.  The camera control is not consistent enough in this game, sometimes you can't see what you need to hit because you're obscured by Lara's body or the panels/shades of the environment.  Making matters worse, the gun/weapon changing is not seamless, nor is reloading.  I got killed on reloads many times, and when those reloads obviously weren't quick enough I went for weapon switches, which were no quicker.  I'm not playing on a tougher setting, just middle of the road -- "Tomb Raider."

2) It's so similar to 2013 Tomb Raider in its layouts (environments) that it doesn't seem a different game.  2013 TR was fun enough, so I'm not really complaining about the game play when I say this; I'm talking about the fact that it's a new game $60 fee for what seems like a mild rewrite of the existing game.  It's Ludlum-esque.  At least in the Elder Scrolls series, you get entirely new environments.  Skyrim looks nothing like Oblivion which looks nothing like Morrowind.  Well, except for caves -- they stay pretty much the same throughout TES games.

3) This is a universal gripe that has existed since at least 2010 or so:  the newer HD games don't display well on CRT teevees.  The game's map and its information panel are impossible for me to use well because everything's blurry.  My teevee can't do the resolution needed for everything to be crisp, so playing the game becomes less a strategic matter using the information panel during gameplay, and more a be-in-the-game situation.  I don't mind this part, it's the fact that I can't read the damned screen that is a problem.

4) Stealth, my favorite playing style, happens automatically and is controlled by the software, rather than by your choice of using a crouched movement, etc.  Whether you are being stealthy is not within your control, really.  Can't say I understand this game design choice.

Best things about the game:

1) The story has an interesting mix of human social dynamics, and in my take on the story, it seems to comment on socialism, religion, authoritarianism, and human independence.  I'm early in the Geothermal Valley part of the game, and thus far it's never been didactic, bossy, stern, chastising, chiding, lecturing, hectoring or anything like that when it handles these subjects, it just raises them as part of the history of the region you explore.  You can just take it as landscape, or you can let it be part of a developing history of humans dealing with other humans. 

2) It's as good as ever at inducing vertigo.

3) The rope-arrow to create ziplines remains fun.

4) There's an insane number of tombs and caves and things to seek, just in the base game.  Hopefully the formula won't have worn me down before I've uncovered every discoverable.


-- Chet Redweld, an amateur amateur gamer.


____________________________________

FN - This was foreshadowed by the "gaming industry" pitching hard for games-as-art several years back, because apparently the coders and game-designers themselves are more impressed with the animation-as-diversion side of things than the actual game-playing diversion side of things.  As a cynic, I'm not surprised -- but I thought geeks' own alienation would be more a template for ignoring what's "popular" or appealing to a great majority of people.  I guess that's true only for geeks of prior generations.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

let's see that's one-two-three-four- ...wait is that a whole knob or a siped knob or two knobs?



INVESTED: Bicycle Tire with Big Knobs for Rear Wheel Applications!

Holy infraction, Flatman!

by Verdant Welkum, FATbike


It’s that time of year–-the time when our artisanal silver flasks get their innards changed from a small-batch bourbon to a careful blend of Jaegermeister, cranberry juice and peach schnapps. Yes, here in e-riderland, winter has begun, and the tires I was loving on the 5 rides I did over the Summer of 2015 for some reason suddenly will not obey my experienced voice of wisdom. Once I felt like the strongest thoroughbred in the stable --and I'm confident you can relate to that, my fellow e-rider-- yet with the advent of Old Jack Frost's Favorite Season, suddenly my favorite tires became more unruly than a group of factory workers who are starting to unionize. These tires are on the verge of striking with a picket line that extends around the block and is populated 24/7 for the interminably foreseeable future. Sometimes, when I'm straddling my bike at an intersection and I've got her leaned over just so -- I swear, the loss of traction is absolutely terrifying.

Or to dull the scalpel to the point of ensuring the patient will need future debridement of the failed wound closure, you get your head out of your ass one day and rediscover that unhappy fact: despite your honch-ness in MTB journalism world, you are much more like the average guy your readers would mock as a "Fred." Fred, who at least is me, and might be you, too, begins eating dirt (crashing) and not just sometimes but all the time. We might say that Fred, you, and I are kissing the floor at a dangerous rate.

Time to ignore our skill deficiencies, and blame those tires.


Like everyone else on Earth, I can vouch for the Minion DHF.

Being that I'm a well-established e-rider and long-standing member of the MTB journalism elite, it's natural and inevitable that I would have a handful of favorite tires.

Some people might think making distinctions between tires is sorta ridiculous on its face, but bear with me.

When it’s wetter outside than the movie set of that Topanga warehouse where one of my friends films squirting fetish videos, I’m a Maxxis Minion DHF or High Roller kind of guy.

For the rear tire, I mean.  This is an essay about rear tires.  I didn't tell you that because I was being all Creative Writing 101 up there above, but that's what this is:  an essay about choosing a rear tire.  Okay?


The narrower Ardents are shite

When the wellspring of my creative writing vigor dries up a bit, I’m finding my e-rider self more inclined to ponder the utility of a Schwalbe Hans Dampf, Continental Trail King or Maxxis Ardent 2.4.  But only the 2.4 Ardent will work for me as a rear tire.  I hate the 2.25 and want to kill whomever designed it, because I just can't make it work for me.  (tl;dr - the narrower Ardents are shite).

But with all that necessary warning about the horrible nature of the Ardent 2.25 as a rear tire, let's get back to talking about e-riding during the warmer months.

When summer rolls around, I’m 25 lbs overweight from a winter full of lazy half-committed attempts at writing a novel which actually are just me eating pizza & ice cream and looking at lots of porn.  So I'm ready to start considering a tire that rolls fast and maybe doesn't have gigantic knobs that won't distort under any NFL lineman.  I might need traction, but more than that, I need to not have a heart attack when I'm pedaling for longer than 15 minutes without a break.

Sadly, and let me tell you every year I hate this fact, but summer is over eventually.  Then, once the water falls from the sky and starts making mud and ice on the ground, my imagination starts coating the roots and rocks with oil, and I'm talking super-slippery slickness kinds of oil.  When that happens, I’m like a pine cone.  Or a conehead.  I'm trying for a metaphor that suggests a tire with better traction.

Enter the Maxxis Minion DHR II.

Enter it.  And once you get inside, take a look around.  See the threads of the carcass.  Witness the shape of the bead, and observe whether it's wire or kevlar.  Notice the lettering, symbols, numbers and logotypes embossed on the sidewall.  Gaze upon the knobbage.

Whew.  That sure was overwhelming!

Look, some people say I'm in the closet about this -- but I’ve never made a secret of my fondness for things made out of rubber.

And I want to enter the Maxxis Minion DHR II.

Some people will need to be told that despite how obvious it is from the tire's name, this is not the front-wheel specific DHF.  "D" stands for "Down", "H" stands for "Hill", "F" stands for Front.

So since this is DHR II, I can assure you that it is Down Hill Rear.  Two.  Because that's what "II" is in Roman Numerals.  Two.

Take a moment to sit down and get a full deep breath here.  I'm going to give you some serious insider beta.

Maxxis calls the DHF a front-specific fire, but you can happily run DHFs on both the front and rear wheels.

Read that again.

Maxxis calls the DHF a front-specific fire, but you can happily run DHFs on both the front and rear wheels.

It's true.  Your bike will not explode.

And at the very same time, you can ponder whether the DHR can be used as a front tire.  Which I would do here, except remember -- this is about rear tires, even if I haven't been clear enough on what I'm writing about here.

So when it comes to front/rear tire choices, here's what I want to suggest, based upon my hundreds of hours spent fantasizing about going for a bike ride someday:

I would pair a High Roller with a Minion DHF.

Remember, up above I was talking about Minion DHF as one of my favorite rear tires, so I need you to infer that I mean High Roller in front, Minion DHF as rear tire.  Or -- wait a minute.  No, I mean the High Roller as the rear tire, with Minion DHF as front.

Even though you can use it as a rear tire.

But anyway, this new "II" version of the Minion DHR, it's a very different beast, and that's why it's the DHR II and not just the DHR.  Get it?  II = different beast.

And really this is totally obvious the moment you lean the bike over even the slightest bit while paused at the intersection: the DHR II digs in and doesn’t let go.  Grip is un-friggin-real.  That bike will never fall over when you're waiting for the light to turn green.  Also, when the light turns back to red you'll be uber-stoked, since this bicycle tire's braking traction is stunning.  Literally it TAZES the ground, Bro.

Still, if there's one thing I lack, it's trying to come to grips with how much more traction I have when e-riding thanks to my time spent writing this essay.  Previously I’d unconsciously adjust my writing style to a certain kind of tangentially-involved bike fetishist whenever I hit period key for the last time on any essay.  But now?  Now my bike writing devolves quickly.

I realize, of course, that this is precisely what happens when you start imagining yourself a bike journalist squeezing a lemon during afternoon tea, but apparently it wasn’t happening so automatically whenever I dreamt about using Ardent 2.25s as a summer rear tire.  Now that I've entered the Minion DHR II, when I hit the break room, I'm brewing the choicest of Earl Grey and Darjeeling teas.

I’m devolving so fast it almost feels backward. I sound crazy, but then I’m not used to having this much Nutra*Sweet in my tea, and I haven't spent enough time thinking about control and predictability from the back of my bike.

It’s a good problem.

NEWS FLASH: Archie's leaving the country, taking Betty AND Veronica with him!

What I didn’t expect was that it would receive more comments than any other post in the history of The Archdruid Report, and the vast majority of those comments would agree heartily with the two points of that post. The first of these points is that there’s a significant number of Americans out there who, for one good reason or another, choose not to use cell phones, televisions, automobiles, microwave ovens, and an assortment of other currently fashionable technologies.

Perhaps notable, except:

1) Counting sock puppet "commenters" as actual humans? Shouldn't you say instead there's a significant number of John MICHAEL Greer sock puppets who agree with John MICHAEL Greer?

2) Those few actual comments by real people voicing honest true feelings (what do they number, 3% of total?), they are commenting at a blog whose author pretends at conviction on steampunk agrarian societies, retro-tech where tech is accepted at all. Of course they'd "agree" with John MICHAEL Greer, they visit a blog written on a fantasy premise.

3) You're not a prophet.

4) Your opinions don't matter in the great ocean of human opinion differences.

5) People lie on the internet more than they lie in meatspace, and in meatspace old Willie Shakespeare knew the drill: all the world's a stage.

6) Nonetheless, you have much to say on the matter and plenty of gold stars to award to the sock puppets who best seem to emulate the view of someone that might call himself John MICHAEL Greer on the internet.

****************

"Shadows in the Cave" -- what, like he's Plato?

Never an original thought, always presenting prior humans' versions of "reality" as his own, and let me tell you: that's prophetic by definition!

It's nearly as impressive as writing lousy poetry with watercolor smudging on graph paper, and pretending to be the world's sole literary genius whose political insights are rewriting human understanding.


-- Harold Caidagh, and I prove with this post that the internet is reality and meatspace is a fraud, just like Archie suggests it is.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

answer: none of the above


Ennis Emby Q of the decade:

What bike will make me faster/bolder?

The answer is there ain't one because faster/bolder comes from within, not without, and it's a product of several things coming together at the moment you assess fast/bold qualities:

your comfort/ease/poise on the bike

which is a result of

your time spent pedaling or otherwise maneuvering/handling bicycles on all types of terrain at all kinds of speed

along with

whatever native athletic/gymnastic/reflex/coordination gifts your particular genetic makeup provides you

and let's not be naive about things: this sort of component-based composition of talent/skill applies to other sports, and to anything else you may choose to do in the time you are alive on this planet.

Another way of thinking of it in the way some people define "luck" -- 5% opportunity, 95% preparation.

Or as I'd think of it more accurately, 99.5% preparation, 0.5% opportunity. Perhaps 99.9% preparation, 0.1% opportunity.

But let's shelve all that reality, because the surreality of commercial growth implores us to believe the bike is what makes you bold/fast.

It also provides your ego with a quick, easy escape route to bypass the confrontation of your own personal limitations, most of which are not genetic and instead relate to your unwillingness to believe or accept or actually do the amount of work required to achieve at high levels.

So, it's great to be able to avoid that ugly moment of existential anxiety and/or shaky footing for self-image maintenance. There must be a flaw in the bike(s) you've chosen to own and ride. It must be the tool, it's not the user of the tool. The tool must be wrong. It must be one made for someone who doesn't want to be seen as heroic. Where's the Hero Tool?

Friday, November 20, 2015

the farmer surveys his fields and finds them unwantedly fallow

Pinkbike Poll: How Much Should a Top DH Racer Be Paid?

Seriously, just pick a number based on some other line of work that people call "professional sports" and maybe even not based on that line but some other. Use flights of fancy, shoot for the moon, etc.

Because the money will appear magically if you have enough e-mojo to make a good enough SJW argument in favor of more money-for-nothing.

If you want it, then it needs to happen.

So if you want your favorite DH racer to make 750k USD/yr, that's what needs to happen. The real question: how do we grow the sport enough to make such salaries possible?

Mike Levy wants to know.

**************

To what end will Mike put this "data"?  Is this part of "Big Data," and thus because TED lecturers and short-attention-span headline writers insist we're all progressing with "Big Data," it's inevitable that things will progress in DH racer pay? 

How will racers get paid more? 

This is like saying, "well of course Minimum Wage should be $15/hr, that's the minimum to live on in American society."  And then putting it on the employer to come up with the margins between as-paid-now, and the new $15/hr minimum. 

That money will just magically appear for the employer to cover those margins.  Progress!  Progress will supply it!  Thanks to technology!  Because technology is processing Big Data!

It's nice to see that MTB media are as greedy as the major infotainment media like CNBC or Fox.  Isn't it?  That shows MTB is mainstream and on a growth trajectory!


--Karl Franz Ochstradt, reporting live from somewhere

Sunday, November 15, 2015

generation hex

Including several hipster categories, an onion skin mask over a caricature of Galt-Roark objectivist behavior in a Galt's Gulch setting, a parallel parody of Zuckerberg-Brin-Page, another batch of xenothespians hired to do USA native accents including a Scot playing a Portland OR native who sometimes does Lawn Guyland inflection, a Swede who lapses between Queen's English and overenunciator selfconscious middle class American who wants to be upper middle, and a South American doing a Brooklyn hiding behind Top Tech PhD filter.

This and much more is worth 1 hr 48 mins of your time.

Ex Machina

Thursday, November 12, 2015

hipster swears he's not a hipster, instagram proof forthcoming

You know how to spot someone who is only half as clever and one-third as insightful as he/she thinks him/herself? You see them reduce everything to a Me Smart You Dumb binary:

Socialists don't seem to comprehend that in order to keep the system going you need GROWTH and the best system to offer growth is capitalism. It's a frustrating catch-22 for those morons.

Naturally that's over at the Silent T and its author is conveniently named

Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

It may be that Roofie is being "ironic" by posting such a sentiment as the one quoted above, while calling self a slayer of derpitude. Maybe this is another of those soft parodies that imagines itself to be deep satire.

**************

1) Talking about what another "doesn't seem to comprehend" is indirect enginerd/STEMmie speak for "I see this, they don't, because I'm so much smarter than they are."

2) It also creates a straw-man, thus starting a logical fallacy from which it's hard to escape.  Straw man = projected picture of what another does/doesn't comprehend.  Where speaking of blanket truths, only that other knows what he/she does or doesn't understand.  On specifics, I think Roofie would need to show me the transcript of his discussion with a "Socialist" in which Roofie ferrets the extent of what the "Socialist" does or doesn't understand.  Because otherwise we're talking about a fiction, no matter how confidently Roofie asserts it.

3) Asserting that "growth" is what you need to "keep the system going" doesn't really explain much in the way of what has to grow, nor what exactly is "the system."

4) It also assumes inherent correctness for the idea that growth is essential to systemic survival.

5) Even if growth is essential, we're also told that the "only" system to provide such growth is "capitalism" -- which I've put in quotes because Roofie's definition of capitalism may differ from yours, Fred the carpenter's, Leo the architect's, D'arcy the haircutter's, or Zeke the welder's.  Shouldn't we first decide whose "capitalism" we're relying upon, before we determine without question that it's the only one that helps a "system" survive?  Which "system" are we talking about there?  If capitalism's a "system" and such "systems" are needed to provide the "growth" that makes some other "system" survive -- what are we talking about, exactly?

**************

There are no biological systems that have to grow in order to survive.  That's a man-fabricated so-called imperative, and it was created by those who are involved in -- guess what? -- you got it.  Commerce.  Selling shit.  Selling material goods that aren't needed, but can be prompted as a target of desire.

That's where the "growth is essential" idea originates.  In greed.

Not in biological systems, but in the supra-organismal man-made theoretical system.

So, you really can't prove that growth is essential, Roofie.

Though I would be entertained by any attempts you or anyone else might make toward that end.

**************

Speaking of derpitude and the inevitable use of the concept in the phrase "peak derp," I would expect Followers of the Silent T would assume I'm a progressive or at best a "cuck" because I am not singing along from the Silent T Hymnbook here.  Of course, as always, that just shows the Followers to be at least trebly naive compared to how they see themselves, and at least doubly stupid in that same comparison.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

consistency is the key

It's clear by virtue of its past employment of Little Glenn that GuardianUK is positioned as a mythmaker for those who want to label themselves as progressive and gravely concerned about the world's manifold injustices, and also by virtue of its track record --journalistic content wise, I mean-- that it considers itself a mapmaker (including, by necessity in its meritocratic position, legend creator) for reading the terrifying terra firma's terrors as they lay, all the better to avoid them.

**************

As already said, gloomily but with full resign to the outcome here, I haven't played F4.  So I can't review it.  But I can read other reviews and see if the reviewer understands the Fallout world well enough to make the review worth my consideration.

The legendary progressive stronghold has reviewed F4 today.

I haven't read the review for the inevitable subtle reminders of what each and every Progressive should believe about the world, technology, nuclear power, or the Fallout world's commentary on all those things from the perspective of a person who is an adult at the turn of the 20th into the 21st Century.  I looked only at the review of the game & game-play.

The intrepid scrivener complains that you have to use an unwanted (and, maybe more accurately, unfair) amount of foresight in choosing your SPECIAL attributes, because short-changing yourself on a category early on will make later game-play tough if, for example, you want to use a weapon but it requires more Perception than you have allocated yourself.

**************

I suppose I should not be surprised that from GuardianUK's perspective, soft-Marxist doggerel is essential to video game diversion.  It really cannot be overstated:  games must provide that No Child Left Behind vibe, a safe space for the game-player, everyone equal, no advantages in any native talent because we're all natively talented and most of all, fungible entities.

I think I have that correctly, but I'll wait to be rectified by the self-appointed paladins of Ultimate Truth.

Perhaps if F4 made every player equal to every other player who chooses to play the game, and furthermore, equal to every NPC encountered in the game, it could earn a 10/10 from GuardianUK.  Then you could start out with low Perception but still be able to use that wicked sniper rifle you pick up at Level 10.  The choices you made at Level 1 should not hamper your progress.  And progress is what matters, because without progress nobody's equal.

**************

If you go back to your 4th grade school class, do you remember every one of your classmates as being equal to every other classmate in every field of inquiry, every facet of human talent, every display of human morphology?

Were there kids who could play a musical instrument almost as if they were born doing so?  Others whose talents at mathematics made them seem like little Euclids?  How about the ones who could draw or paint as if it took no practice or refinement, relative to your own abilities?

Were there fat kids?  Skinny kids?  Kids with red hair?  How about freckles?  Any kids who already had a moustache?

*************

The Fallout series doesn't promise Utopia -- not as an experience in the game world, not as a refinement of the driving plot, and not as a game-playing concept.

It might even be a no-risk proposition to say that a watering-down of the game, in a manner that would raise its GuardianUK review score from 7/10 to 10/10, might leave only the rare few wanting to play it.

I think a different game is in order for GuardianUK readers:  one where the game is basically a story told in animation cinema, with minor occasional interruptions for the most routine levels of game-controller-device manipulation.  Perhaps L.A. Noire is more their speed.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

for a silent T, you sure do make a racket

But you can take that racket and smash your serve, hoping for an ace:

Bernie Sanders Is Right on Marijuana, But Not Enough
Time to treat pot like alcohol.

As the old observational comic says, "you just can't make this stuff up!"

So the anti-State/devolve-to-micro-State gang want to treat marijuana not like corn, tomatoes, etc that you can grow in your yard, box planter, window box, greenhouse or other setup on your own property.

That would be too simple, because no regulation. And someone who wants to shrink the state and, therefore, constantly complains about too much government involvement in everyday affairs -- he'd want to have regulation if possible, right?

So we should treat MJ like alcoholic beverages.

Naturally.

Because there's so much formula-experimentation with things like congeners, additives, and complex chemical reaction (like mash-making, fermentation, distillation and all with an eye on purity and avoiding someone substituting methanol for ethanol etc) when someone takes an MJ seed and puts it in soil and waters it and gives it light and then trims it when it has ripened in growth and achieved that plant-sexual quickening.

They're identical, alcoholic beverages and marijuana. MJ is nothing like tomatoes or corn or basil that you'd grow at home. Nothing at all. It demands regulation.

Also, those who dislike regulatory involvement should start getting eager about Bernie Sanders, because you have only D vs R and to a Silent T Follower, those Rs just look kooky! You'd think the GOP would be smarter, knowing how brilliant are the Silent T Followers, and knowing how the Followers are the vanguard of socio-economic thought in 21st Century America.

I would think that, anyway.

You probably see it differently, thinking that buzz=buzz and so the equivalence is valid.  Okay, what if you grew coffee beans on your property?  You're going to tell me caffeine isn't a buzzer?

How about that home-brewed beer you made?  Shouldn't ATF be in there, watching over your homebrew?  You might poison yourself or blind your neighbor!

Some people make their own wine.  That's clearly a sign that ATF needs to be in there!  Homemade wine is dangerous, and someone's got to save the home fermenter from himself.  Or herself.

So it's obvious.  Marijuana must be taxed and regulated.

Besides, that way all the New Money Venture Capitalists (smaller scale version) get to displace the existing grey and black market people who grow and sell marijuana.  They're all filthy unsophisticates who have no place in our progressing-by-the-moment 21st Century America!  In fact, that suggests to me that more invasive economic regulations are needed, to ensure that everyone who isn't a STEM program graduate has no place to earn a buck.  That's economic freedom right there.  That's liberty.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

eye gradyooayted hye skoo 'n' eye raist bykes for five yeers

Naturally, therefore, I'm a bike journalist.  I write better than most canonically revered novelists, I take better pictures than Ansel Adams could have dreamed about, and online, I shred way harder than you, him, her, that dude over in SLO, and anyone in Boulder.  Seriously.

That's why when I write stuff on my blog, I stick to the perspective of a 12 year old boy who is really insecure about where he fits into his 6th grade classmate social hierarchy.

Yes, it's an energy drink commercial from Europe. However, it's awesome to see mountain biking going more main stream!

Really? It's "awesome" to see that?

Why is that?

Can you name for me one major theme, item, tool, device, concept or principle that was improved, or at least not diminished or weakened in any way, by its "going mainstream"?

Or is it just that Shawn Spomer would like to make 100k/year for writing things from that above-stated perspective of the insecure 12-year-old who really wants peer acceptance and can't stand the fact that he has slightly crooked teeth, freckles, or the wrong clothes?

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

everyone else is gullible, except ___________. please fill in the blank.

Aeons ago in the Ancient Papyrus Academy, I and some of my fellow galley-slave-to-be prospectors were able to take a class referred to with brevity as "CrimPro," also known as Criminal Procedure, also known as Constitutional limits on the treatment of those chosen by the police to serve as reminders, state-wide, of who owns whom.

In those long gone days --and let's be frank about it, we're all glad they're gone now because back then, thuggish perps had more leeway to be sociopathic misogynist reactionary breeders who commit micro-aggressions every living second-- the State had to obtain a warrant to track your behavior, listen in on your phone calls, read your mail, enter your house, or open and rummage through your personal belongings.

That sounds to me like the State gave thuggish reactionary microaggressors far too much freedom, and I hope you agree with me.

It would be much safer if the State knew everything about everyone, all the time.  Right?  Only the lawless criminal need fear such oversight.  Good Citizens have nothing to fear.

******************

A carpetbagging member of the Congress, who goes by "Jason Chaffetz" and brought with him to Utah a gigantic carpet-bag of cashish (trucked in on an 18 wheeler, no less) through and with which he intends to get rid of the MoMos and modernize/progress the state of Utah, is offering a doggie treat to those gullible enough to think Jay-Jay actually has individual rights in mind.

Never let it be said that the Davidland faithful don't know how to act.  This fellow, who is known to his closest schul-mates as Jay-Jay, went so far as to attend BYU instead of Brandeis, all the better to further his career in Remaking the State of Utah for Progress.

He reminds me a lot of someone in my town.  Someone who robs you blind and tells you that he's just made your life better, in order to distract you from the theft.

******************

Of course Jay-Jay's move will play big at The Silent T.  That's the audience for his schtick:  the greed-stuffed progress mavens who think lip service paid to civil liberties is the same as ensuring civil liberty.

******************

Meanwhile in other news, Chet told me this AM that the guy I know as The Ding-Dong is busy re-imagining himself as something other than the "neoliberals" he blames for the ruining of his Donkey Fetish.  It's amusing watching a self-styled genius constantly show how ignorant he is, no matter how many Hot Topic authors and poets and musicians and composers names are dropped.


--Karl Franz Ochstradt, reporting live from somewhere.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

how much smug fits in a rug?

It goes without saying that continual japery toward The Silent T includes within the attack various forsaken opportunities to squeeze the trigger when a melon is in the crosshairs.

The continual 3-legged horse in their paddock's pride is the Little Glenn/Metro Eddie boondoggle.  Whenever either of those two B-actors' names is mentioned, the earnest Silent T scrivener on the job will assure you that we all owe a debt of gratitude to (a) Little Glenn for his tireless and incredibly fearless, life-risking exposure of dirty secrets that nobody ever disclosed before on any scale resembling that of Unclaimed Territory or Salon or GuardianUK or The Intercept; and/or (b) Metro Eddie for his death-defying globe-trotting evasion of Uncle Sam's homesick hitmen while simultaneously and/or immediately previously offering virtual e-mountains of undisclosed national secrets about hush-hush programs nobody ever disclosed before on any scale resembling that of The Intercept.

The fact that none of the Little Glenn/Metro Eddie story, and none of the mythology that it spawned on such a compressed timeframe, broke any ground on what had previously been disclosed about George C. Fortitude's business operations in the post-nyne E-leavened Murken Yooniverse™ -- well that's just an inconvenient truth, Alzie.

Inconvenient to those of us who have made money selling you rusted-out 15 year old Ladas and calling them Teslas, that is.

Take Jesse Walker, for example:

Today the parliament of the European Union voted narrowly—285 to 281—to urge its member states to give sanctuary to Edward Snowden, the former National Security Agency contractor whose leaks shed light on the U.S. government's covert surveillance programs. Specifically, the resolution said Europe should "drop any criminal charges against Edward Snowden, grant him protection and consequently prevent extradition or rendition by third parties, in recognition of his status as whistle-blower and international human rights defender." Snowden is currently exiled in Russia.

Jesse apparently believes that these game-changing revelations by Metro Eddie were history themselves, true insights into something dirty and devious, and yet despite that empire-crushing scoopery the homesick lads just couldn't catch him.  Not even when he was holed up in a Hong Kong luxury hotel, the location of which was published by Metro himself and also by Little as the conduit of Metro's displays of locus disclosure, via email and twitter.FN

Since, as well all know, Hong Kong is like The Vatican and no people unaffiliated with the Holy See are allowed in.  Thus those poor lads couldn't get in to give Metro the message offered by the homesick, who were, as you might expect, back home.  Sick with worry.  About Metro's scoops.

Sure, Jesse.  I believe that.  Truly.

Someone who so oversells an empty story & hollow myth would seem to be engaged in writing the sorts of puffery I've come to expect from The Supreme Arch-Druid of the North American Land Mass and possibly Pangaea, but the Silent T tends toward a veneer of skeptical rationalism where Archie's tack finds him riding big puffs of hot air informed or possibly driven by steam, punk.

Perhaps a gander at Jesse's blog will reveal the pretense as pretense? You decide.

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FN - Or anywhere else he's hidden in plain view since doing the 23 skidoo away from the employ of some boozer named Alan from Hamilton NY.  Most practitioners of espionage tweet about their escape with the damaging intel/info/whatever.  The best even GoPro it.

Friday, October 23, 2015

in case it's a snow-free winter

I would say I'm looking forward to playing this, but it requires me to have either an XBone or a uber-gamer golden PC while I've got a cheese-class PC and a 360.  And no spare $$$ to pop for either the console or modern TV designed to run such stellar resolution.  The PC can't be upgraded to run modern games at decent framerate, because it's got integrated video rather than a mobo standoff card.  Ferpetesake, I'm still using a CRT teevee from 2004.  One of my friends actually joked about how I'm the last human in the USA to be without a flatscreen digital TV.

Maybe I'll be able to sell some ski gear for the $$ it would cost to get a modernist teevee and an XBone.  That makes a lot of sense.  $60 game requires ≥$600 in hardware purchase. 

I could always spend dead time writing and hope to get some $$ from keyboard battery, but an audience of nimrods and hesters who have dbl-digit SBs and a depth which mirrors the thickness of a sheet of vellum is no place to ply my palavering.  Not if historical reception is any clue, anyway.  The only hope for my scribbling is that a gaggle of pwoggy nimrods & hesters create a fad-bubble of Haterade (carbonated version) Belching and send it my way.  But what good would it do me to be hated by PBS and NPR fans, TED lecture fans, Hope&Change fans, Bernito Gasolini fans, etc?  No good at all, I'm afraid.  None whatever.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

shocking whistleblower revelation indicates that Internal Revenue Service is corrupt and inefficient

One of this blog's prior writers called him Jeremiad Cavedweller, but as of today he's a Big Famous Dude because he's got the hot solo scoop from yet another pivotal whistleblower, and today's tweeter revelation is that Obama --who joked in public statements about using drones to attack whomever tried to date his daughters-- was operating a "secret" drone program that NOBODY REPORTED ON BEFORE!

I hope Mr Cavedweller isn't hoping to fall back on law practice after his keyboard's battery is revealed to be whole-cloth fiction.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

the return of the panaracer dart

or if you don't recall the Dart, then its bastard child/clone, the WTB Velociraptor(front).

First Look: 2016 Michelin Wild Race’R Enduro Rear Tire


I suppose it's understandable that after being the dominant DH tire mfr for the 90s and early 00s, and seeing others copy your designs and offer them as originals, it would make perfect sense that some 10-15 years after your tire dominance ended and you became functionally irrelevant, you'd copy a front-specific trail tire of the late 80s/early 90s and reintroduce the pattern as a rear-specific "enduro" tire that "rolls fast" while cornering as well as an "enduro" rider wants-needs-dreams-hopes-anticipates.

Stranger things have happened.  Manitou's current forks supposedly work, and work well, and are reasonably durable.

According to the internet.

Monday, October 12, 2015

it's a piece of a circle flying overhead, anchored by two vertical supports

The other day I heard Hy asking Karl and Chuck (and would have asked Paul and Hal too, if they'd been there) why this esteemed weblog and/or alleged neurotic sink has spent so much of its history throwing shurikens at The Supreme Arch-Druid.  I stopped listening after hearing the question, because I had my own thoughts on the subject, and they involved waiting for Archie's next keyboard molestation and finding a suitable comment thereafter.

And here it is:

karl rove said it very well: we're an empire now and when we act, we create our own reality". the statement was notable for it's arrogance and narcissism, but it also illustrates the child-like faith in the power of abstraction. we often imagine that our leaders take recourse to abstraction simply to avoid unpleasant reality. i'm not so sure that's true. rove really believed that reality could be created by determined actors, just as many economists seem at a loss as to why years of quantitative easing, zirp, nirp and asset buying, i.e. creating more money-itself merely an abstract concept, has failed to juice the real economy.

i'm more and more convinced that what's at work here is a form of magical thinking (with apologies to those of the druidical or wiccan persuasion) in which wishing will make it so. i would almost prefer that our leaders were merely sociopaths that were using abstract ideas to try and mislead the public. sadly, i think what were seeing is perhaps even more insidious than a propagandistic campaign to persuade the public that all is well. our leaders have succeeded in convincing themselves, just as karl rove did, that they can create their preferred reality by sheer force of will. under such conditions, reality based politics, diplomacy and economics are no longer possible.

Have you ever heard the remark that the smarter you are, the more you know what you don't know?

...the more you realize you don't know as much as you used to think you knew...

...the more you realize that at every prior stage of relative ignorance, you felt omniscient...

et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

Our good comenter above, who handles his internet projection under the name "jonathan," is one of those people who thinks having a little tiny insight on a subject automatically means you have in your mind's grasp the full scope of the subject's manifold possibilities.

He cites the oughta-be-a-dead-horse-by-now-but-it-still-prowls-the-paddock quote from Karl Rove about "creating our own reality," and that's where he has some little tiny insight that lots of people may not hold.  He knows Rove openly said this to a writer,** and so he feels like an "insider" for knowing this bit of the PNAC archival canon.  

The mention of "magical thinking" and attributing it to Rove but not considering it may be at work in his own (jonathan's own) perspective is classic bibble-bobble from the water cooler graciously provided by the steampunk-obsessed software millionaire who now maintains a significant online presence as a high priest in the Druidic cult.

This is the fake-skeptic hallmark.

Can't Rove actually be shrewd enough to publicly say that "we create our own reality" stuff on the simple premise that if you say such a thing, it carries two messages:  one is the language used (the words and/or sentiments conveyed), and the second is whatever strategic value such a statement may hold in the corridors of power where you ply your trade.

Does this second category need explanation for you? 

Rove would know a writer would pass along something gained from a talk with Rove.  Knowing this, he can craft his message with various goals in mind, making the writer nothing but a conduit.

Our man jonathan seems to think it impossible that Rove out-maneuvered Ron Suskind.  Or that Suskind and Rove worked together to share that idea about creating one's own reality.  Of course those possibilities would require jonathan to admit he doesn't know everything, and didn't think to be skeptical about Rove working him, or Suskind working him, or Rove and Suskind working in tandem to create a sort of moving ideological pick on him. 

It's easier to think, "Rove is so stupid, he just blurted that out in front of Ron Suskind, who got the scoop of the millennium, useful for proving the idiotic incompetence of the neocons."

I suppose it's also a mistake that the Healthy Forests Initiative destroyed lots of riparian and forest ecosystems, and/or that the No Child Left Behind Act leaves every poor victim of public school well behind those who wisely go elsewhere.

If Suskind reports what Rove says, if Suskind's editor runs it as it's been attributed, if everyone involved knows it's got several ways to play out in the eventual target audience (and the derivative audience of the re-telling) and one of them is that some guy who calls himself jonathan at Archie's Water Cooler thinks Rove is an idiot who blurted out a gaffe revealing magical thinking.

Tell me now, jonny:  who got played by whom?

The playwright and audience think it rivals Jonathan Swift; the true Swiftian rivals know it's not even juvenile parody.  And once again, satire and parody get confused on the internet, and everyone loses.


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** Or --as some other than jonathan might observe-- at least, found it valuable enough PR to allow the quote to stand as-published, regardless of its veracity or fidelity to the sentiment expressed, in whole or in part.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

three chambers, checks and balances... it's all rot when I'm the king and everyone must obey me

I notice that the average informed Progressive continues to misunderstand what Citizens United is about, when put into the historical context of U.S. Constitutional law and jurisprudence, and specifically as a derivative of Buckley v Valeo, which is a case that most informed Progressives aren't informed about/on and really couldn't be bothered about because, let's face it, that was then and this is now, and right now, we want Citizens United overturned because everyone at The Nation and The Progressive and Mother Jones and Huffington Post and ESCHATON and Hullaballoo! and shakesville and Salon and Slate and even over at Utne Reader everyone agrees that Citizens United is what has destroyed all our hopes for a fully and completely progressive United States of America.

No, no, look it's way bigger than that.  No see since Citizens United all corporations basically own our lives completely and there's no way around it and no way out of it and no way past it, they own us thanks to Citizens United.  It's an unConstitutional decision because, let's face it, corporations.  Which are way worse than people, right?  I mean who can argue with that?  Sheesh.  I mean seriously.

What?  No I've never read the opinion in Citizens United.  What does that have to do with whether the Supreme Court should pay attention when a majority of Americans want to see the Supreme Court get rid of, or whatever it is they call it when they zap it out of existence and make it disappear as if it was vaporized by an alien laser weapon.  Whenever a majority wants that to happen to Citizens United, the Supreme Court should notice and take action.  Just like they did with Roe v Wade.

No, I think you got confused.  Roe v Wade is where the Supreme Court noticed that most everyone in America approves of abortions and, so, they're legal under the Constitution since most Americans agree that everyone should be able to get an abortion.  That's what Roe v Wade is about.  That's what I mean.  The Supreme Court should listen to Americans again, just like it did in Roe v Wade, and this time they should destroy that Citizens United decision.  Because most Americans want it gone.

Yeah of course.  The Supreme Court should pay attention to what Americans want.  They are supposed to be the highest judges in the land, who put into laws the opinions and views of the majority.  Whatever the majority wants, the Supreme Court should be granting that.  Or giving it.  Or declaring it, whatever, y'know?

Right, it's the Congress that are the people's representatives.  But it's also divided into Senators and Rep... Rep... Republicans?  Reprehensibles?  Representatives?  Yeah.  And since almost anyone can be a Representative then they're the people's representatives right?  Yeah.

Of course the system has to have checks and balances.  Otherwise the government runs over the people because it got too powerful and the people didn't have any checks and balances any more.

Well isn't it usually the Supreme Court who tells us when the checks and balances are needed and whether they are there?  I mean isn't that why we put those guys --those people I mean-- up there in those robes and on that tall bench in DC?  Because they're the ones who know what all this means, this checks and balances stuff, on a day to day basis I mean.

I'm not sure.  What do you mean?  I mean, the Democrats balance out the Republicans.  If you're a Democrat you have to have Republicans to be your opposite, the guys in the black hat, the rival.  Don'tcha?  Same if you're a Republican, those Democrats are your rival.  It's like having the NFL on Thanksgiving and the game is the Cowboys and the Redskins.  That's what it's all about right there.  That's checks and balances right there.

So then you're trying to tell me that it's the Congress that is supposed to listen to what people like me and you say about Citizens United, and do something about it?  I don't understand.  How could the Congress possibly do that?  It's a Supreme Court decision.

I thought all 3 branches were supposed to be listening to the majority at all times.  You know.  Majority.

Well I guess using polls.  Who would you choose?  See who the majority chooses.  Or what they want.  Ask the majority about Citizens United.  That's what I'd do.

What?  Why would I ask them if they've read the opinion?  That's the media's job, to know what it says.  That's what people like those legal expert journalists on TV are supposed to do.  You think the average American has time to sit around and read Supreme Court decisions all day?  Nobody's payin' me to read that stuff.

So you're trying to tell me that having an opinion on Citizens United doesn't mean anything?  You're saying the Supreme Court shouldn't be listening to people like me and making rulings based on how I feel about a Supreme Court decision?

My job?  What does that matter?

So you're gonna draw some parallel between my work and a Supreme Court judge's work?  Okay, I'm a software programmer.  A coder.

No that means I work with the language of a particular software.  Symbols, letters, numbers, spaces.

Well so far I have helped design an iPhone app that basically adds an additional app to help you open an app that already is on the iPhone.  It helps you find the files stored on your phone, like YouTube downloads or photos you've taken.

What do you mean, "bullshit job"?  My app helps people find things.  By downloading my app, they now can easily find their stored files.  Where maybe before they wouldn't have bothered to try to find them, not without my app being there first.

Why would I have to know the full hardware and software architecture of the iPhone in order to write a small app that basically shows you where your storage is?  Do you think brain surgeons have to know all about how your toenail grows?  I don't think so!

I don't really think the Supreme Court knew what they were doing in Citizens United.  I think they opened a Pandora's Box with that one.  And apparently a lot of people agree with me, based on the number of google hits I get when I look for Citizens United references and count the ones that want to see the opinion gone from our history books.

Well maybe I'm not a lawyer but maybe you're not a coder so you telling me I should know all about how an iPhone works in order to write good apps for it, that's bullshit if you ask me.  Writing an app for an iPhone is an easy task, the code comes in templates available everywhere on the web and in the cloud.  It's a lot like what my grandpa once described for me:  painting by numbers.  I think you're just jealous that we have so much great technology now, when back when you were my age none of this stuff existed and wasn't really even in sci-fi during that time.  You're not as lucky as me to be young right now.  There's a lot of opportunity for people like me with my background and my social media profile.  Maybe that's why you are trying to tell me I'm wrong about Citizens United.