Friday, June 20, 2014

face-up poker

Did you know that the city of McBoulder and the State of Neuwestia were under barrage from the US Attorney concerning the handling of a rape accusation at the University of Neuwestia?  The keen-suited meritocrats who work for one Eric Holder were telling the locals y'all don't know what yer doin & we's here to do it proper-like.

The US Constitution, a once-fabled document now reduced to the status of bathroom tissue thanks to many operative decisions by the good stewards of Eye-for-an-Eyelash, allegedly has a provision within it called "our Federalism" under which it is often contended that power should be devolved to the states.  This juvenile imagination product sits in contention with what others call "reality" -- that the big Daddy Protector is the boss, and if you, child, believe yourself fit to govern your own conduct and its ramifications, then you have another thing coming!  Daddy will cut off your allowance.

And without that allowance, you're not gonna be able to build fancy new developments when you play Sim City.  Hell, you're not even gonna get Urban Renewal Projects going!

Sim City is the reality you prefer to inhabit, given that the meatspace variety doesn't often go according to whim and expectation. 

So you'll make a show of "this is our turf, we can govern it just fine," but you'll cave.

And you'll realize that when Holderites wade into your stream without asking permission to cross your land (let alone enter your waters), he was just dropping by to let you know that even though you're now technically an adult, you're still on his tab.  You're just another trustafarian kiddie at university, living like a rich kid because daddy is generous on that tab.

Sometimes he even sends you a copy of his monthly credit card bills, as a reminder of how grand his largesse bestowal. 

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So, the reason Holderites stopped by, then set up shop, and proceeded to lurk and bother? 

You look at that credit card bill, and are stymied.

I don't think you should be graduating any time soon.  But here you are.  4.0 with a double major.

4 comments:

Chet Redweld said...

Further adventures in Eye-for-an-Eyelash:

http://www.epicski.com/t/128213/judge-finds-vail-may-be-found-liable-in-avalanche-death#post_1744845

The good lads & lassies at Treason.com (remember, the T is silent) would say "the market" is telling ski areas they should prevent all injury.

Forgive my naivete here, but how would that sort of standard translate to Our Glorious Motoring Environment?

Isn't it obvious that if you ignore safe driving and choose to go 35 over the limit in snowy/icy conditions, you could have a life-threatening crash?

NO! THE HIGHWAYS SHOULD HAVE SIGNS TELLING YOU OF THE EXACT DANGERS YOU MAY ENCOUNTER AND AT A CERTAINTY OF DANGER, SHOULD CLOSE THE ROAD COMPLETELY. ALL DRIVING SHOULD BE ON 70degF PRISTINE ASPHALT AT ALL TIMES, NATURE BE DAMNED!

Harold Caidagh said...

Oh it's about rape all right.

And the ones playing at victim are the real victims.

Their problem is where they've projected their blame, and what particulars they've imagined for the crime of which they've been a victim.

The engine of gentrification seems to run on this modern American progressive perspective. Somehow, Holder's Team will be seen as saviours rather than meddlers. Every town must become Mc________. Follow the pattern, or be Domestic Terrorists.

Charles F. Oxtrot said...

I feel bad for you guys stuck there in McBoulder. I got the hell out of that place as soon as I encountered a few of these people in town.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lb_KeTCJRtY

Paul Behrer said...

There's a good reason my quote about absurdity is on the right margin. A damned good reason. An infallible reason.

I'm moving to Neuwestia to slow down and live a simpler life. Once I get there, I'll do my damnedest to recreate the urban hell I escaped from. That way I get in on the ground floor of Aspenization, and maximize my home sale return whenever I pull up stakes and move to the next new Hot Spot. People envy me for moving to Neuwestia. It's hip. It's happening. It's groovy. It's progressive.