Wednesday, June 4, 2014

dude, find a little humility

Jonesy again rambles, mis-using words, forgetting to use punctuation, and stocking the larder with awkward metaphors and dead-horse cliches.

Please don't tell us you worked hard at that essay. 

Go back to the drawing board and read something by... hmmm... maybe Grantland Rice.

***************

Now here's a classic bounce-back.  Elsewhere at the generally-good-for-stills-and-video site run by dirt magazine I find this piece of perfectly acceptable "flow trail" that manages to deliver the dead-horse-corpse-flogged-yet-again concept of "flow" without 8 feet of trailbed width and sallied-out gigantic turns and over-general undulation amplitudes that leave it all feeling machine-made and sterile:


Orange Dirt World Team - Harry Heath - Orange FIVE a Mountain Biking video by gee-milner

When they avoid writing, they provide good content.

Which reminds me: the juvenile perspectives (by maturity of observation, or grade-school-typicality of grammatical, spelling and syntax issues) used at every mtb site for the captions in their image galleries, that needs to change.

You can't pretend you're talking to the current generation of wealthy, spend-happy, upgrade-obsessed mtb poseurs 'round the world --who tend to be a bit more educated and refined than the 17 year old kid wearing a flatbill and spending on parental credit-- and write for that latter flatbill-wearing spoiled teenager.

You also can't be taken seriously as a writer if you don't at least take writing seriously at the basic level of adult writing mechanics.

I'll edit your work for $150/hr.


-- Chet Redweld, in the spirit of Blue Hawaiian.

2 comments:

Chet Redweld said...

Actually I would suggest Jonesy read this:

http://www.amazon.com/The-great-grand-also-ran/dp/0394490541

Chet Redweld said...

Also, don't come at me, Bro, with the charge that as a Huh-Merry-kin, I don't get the subtle difference between the bad-teeth English used across the Atlantic, and the orthodontically correct English used here in Huh-Merry-kay.

I've read a lot of authors over my lifetime and most of what I've read is fiction and most of the authors in the pool of writers I've read, they're UK'ers.

It's only in The Majestic Universe of the Law where I have read 95% USA, 5% UK.