Friday, May 16, 2014

thinks he's dorothy parker

but he's more like a parker house roll doughboy

the great gargantuan mind, responsible for Pointless Snark Served by the Metric Ton(ne), long history of defending Great Leftists but within the last 3 months eager to Joe Bidenize this blog's Neil Kinnock messages

truly an original

worshiped by twitter hipsters who spend their day tweet-bumping their blogpost link in order to earn the day's $ 1.75 in click revenue because the blogpost contains such mighty wit and deep political insight along with updates on how many wipes it took after the day's second shit as well as how much piss dribbled out of the urethra while sitting at the desk composing another tweet-bump

even when the brilliant doughboy giggles pretend to be analyzing things, they're still apologizing

good job Glenn... uh... I mean... Walking Thimbledick Hardon and his fiftysomething hipster PR agent


--Hal Caidagh, amused by the Ellis-Ellers-Ellensburg level of sock puppetry

1 comment:

Harold Caidagh said...

Remember kids,

1) If you consider your self a Middle Aged Uber-Hip Savant, you easily convince yourself that your bodily functions and lunchtime plans are the essence of hip.

2) Everyone wants to know every little detail about your life if you're a Middle Aged Uber-Hip Savant, because every single thing you do is really crucial to The Rest of Humanity's existential comfort/curiosity.

3) You can convince yourself that (1) and (2) are "gags" and that you're un-fucking-believably funny because you're "satirizing" others, but unless there's some laugh-inducing actual satire in your "gag", the only one laughing is you, and your laugh is one of nervous embarrassment where you're convincing yourself, "See, self, YOU ARE a comic genius."

4) Your back-up plan is to tell yourself that anyone observing (1) through (3) "just doesn't get it" when they read your sad 50something protohipster blog. The truth is that your little clique of 14 e-friends who check your 50something protohipster blog really do NOT care about your supposed genius, and they indulge you out of a sense of elevating themselves in comparison to you. "At least I'm not as pathetically insecure and continually seeking validation like that sad fuck over there."