Thursday, February 6, 2014

a venturi of suckage

Last night I watched The Weight of Water to see some Elizabeth Hurley and to check out whether Kathryn Bigelow's other movies worked as well for me as Strange Days.

This one didn't.

The historic back-and-forth can work for Branagh & Thompson in Dead Again but it doesn't work here, and it's not just because of different casts.  The story and execution just don't work.  Neither the old story nor the current one feeds its counterpart. 

Why is Sean Penn unconvincing as a "genius poet"?  Why is he unconvincing in any role but Jeff Spicoli?

Why is Josh Lucas letting his girlfriend flirt so heavily with his brother, Sean Penn? And by "letting" I don't mean he controls her behavior or has the right to, but he does have the ability to end the boat trip and/or discuss with her the skanky sluttery she's up to. Especially with Penn's wife right there on the boat. Does Lucas lust after Mary McCormack and that's what is going on?

Why does Sarah Polley get these kinds of roles? Casting couch performance?  She can't act worth shit.

Ciaran Hinds was good as the malingering "rheumatoid arthritis" guy.

I had the incest plot figured out from the way Polley talked so glowingly of her brother and cinched by Katrin Cartlidge poking at Polley with the references to their brother. No mystery ending there.

The storm on Lucas's boat was a weak MacGuffin.

Why was McCormack treating ancient documents with such callousness, subjecting them to loss or water damage?

The mini-plot about Penn's car wreck at 17 and his lost love?  Crap.

Probably valuable to certain viewers who appreciate chick flick/chick lit stuff.


Harold Caidagh said...

I turned it off about 10-15 mins before its end. Maybe some of the Qs were answered in those last minutes, but I'd had it already.

Harold Caidagh said...

Oh yeah, okay, it's Catherine McCormack and not Mary McCormack.