Thursday, January 31, 2013

ha-ha-nomics

There are different kinds of law. There is Corporate Law and there is Anti-Corporate Law. There is pro-Labor Law and there is anti-Labor Law. There is Dewey, Cheatham and Howe Law and there is National Lawyers Guild Law. If law school were more affordable, more people who would like to go into pro-Labor, anti-Corporate, National Lawyers Guild Law would be able to do so.

Would you please put a sock in it until you grow the fuck up?

NLG is trustafarians slumming until they go White Shoe.

NLG is not the antithesis to "corporate" anything, it's the holding room for future corporate legal drones.

Unless you are into image.

If that's your deal, then you're correct -- NLG sure is anti-corporate and pro-labor, it's like a lawyer who drives a 2014 Prius, lives in a $1.2 million Green Architecture Co-Op unit, goes to functions hosted by Bloomberg to "work the room," travels abroad many times/year, never cooks for self because there's always some hip new ethnic restaurant where you can pay too much for a few nibbles.

Yep, NLG is that guy that tells you, "you should write your Congressman."

But I shouldn't be surprised by the naivete of these bumblefuck PowerNoggin pseudo-wonks. Dig:

Maybe if we had more or better regulation, we wouldn’t need so many lawyers. But then again the 99% can’t afford them anyways. Just another way the game is rigged.

Wait. I get it. That was satire, you weren't serious about more/better regulation, right? You wouldn't be that ironically 180 degrees opposite reality in truth, would you?

Exactly how would "more regulation" change anything?

Or how about "better regulation," what would that look like, and how would it improve things?

Shit, maybe Uncle Sam and his 50 nephews need to get even fatter with even more bureaucratic bunglers and mini-J Edgars crawling up everyone's behonkus with a laser-directed electron microscope?

Obviously the past 25 years have shown that bloating the NannyState has improved life for everyone in America.

I don't know how I keep missing that fact.

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

the lost masters series, vol. 1

En garde! Je suis Mark Zuckerberg, un chevalier du lucre!

massengill disposable

Those putzes ruined MTB XC racing in the mid-late 90s by turning courses into dirt criteriums so roadies wouldn't have to know how to ride a bike. They bored me right out of racing.

That, and the fact that I hate suffering where the suffering is due to climbs, not due the angst that I could have hit that section with less braking.

empty walnut

"Cooperation" is a key theme for "leftists" of all kinds, from the mild centrist uber-Business-oriented Democrat to the firebrand who chastises Marx, Lenin, Mao, ummm... Castro? ...as being too "rightist." For such people, individuality is pure evil, and self-interest always is construed as negative (destructive) selfishness.

This is because they want everyone to agree with them. That's what "cooperation" means, implies practically, as read from their position toward others. "Cooperation" means, "a world where everyone agrees with my view and therefore we're all doing what I want everyone to do."

Of course, some of these CoOppers are a little bit smart and somewhat insightful and mildly introspective, so eventually it hits them that despite ideal imaginings, the real world of human diversity implies difference in all contexts -- not just skin color or gender or what gender you like to fuck.

Which then leads, in leapfrog fashion, to the notion that not everyone will have the same experiences or interests.

Which bumps forward to the point that perspectives will differ.

Damn, the thing just keeps moving!

Eventually it hits a waypoint where one sees Everyone Will Think Like Me When They Are As Wise (or Educated With Parchment Proof) As I Am -- that's at about the 8-year-old level in maturity.

If empathetic in any way, here CoOpper realizes, existentially in all its dimensions especially the bleaker and more painful ones: aw man, that hurts. It can't be My Will Is Superior.

What do they do at this point?

They go looking for Reactionaries to blame. Or Christers. Or Crackers. Or Misogynists.

And use that as a surrogate for the still-living impulse of My Will Is Superior.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

tools!



Don't go for a ride on them. Tell them where to go.

all you need to know

Sam-well Kon-iggit sez:

According to bloggers, Facebook memes and some prominent commentators, Iceland is the shining beacon of post-collapse economics.

With such a reputable and august grouping of talents behind it, this idea must be true!

Or maybe it's just an opportunity to throw out a well-worn cliche about something, to sound "progressive"?

The prosecution of financial people is a good start, but that doesn't make it a "shining beacon" blah blah blah. What evidence do we have that the prosecutions underway have targeted truly culpable people at pivotal power nodes, and will yield real and helpful impacts upon post-collapse economic structure and practice, rather than targeting and convicting easy marks who get a Ken Lay wet-noodle-lashing after already having pocketed plenty of profit to cushion their unfortunate early retirement?

Meliorists, incrementalists and other apologists for half-assed measures will say I'm being unduly critical and I should be happy with "progress."

If the landscape was wiped clean, there's no reason to fool with half-assed measures.

Half-assed measure mentioned elsewhere:

The ruling did not, however, call for monies already reimbursed to be clawed back.

If the slate's wiped clean by a state bankruptcy, then it's time to claw it back.

Why did it go bankrupt? Corrupt financial practices, wrongful profits.

Claw it back.

A "shining beacon of post-collapse economics" would claw it back.

Shit, even BearGlitzLand claws it back!

don't lose your diamond eyes



if it was for or about you, you'd know it.

*****************

"New Zealanders can't appreciate their own culture," hmmm.

I wonder how many metaphors that creates.  I was hit with 3 immediately after typing it.  None had anything to do with NZ.

__________________

* I've heard that sentiment before, from 3 different NZ natives.

swizzle stick swish

We sure dig them corn cobs here in Eye Oh Way.

In our eyes, 2016 can't get here soon enough and meanwhile we're gonna sing the praises of Noo Yawk Shitty and penis-tales.

I bet that's where Tal Cobbler has got to.  From horse jimmies to corn cobs, Tal does it all.

Monday, January 28, 2013

From the department of...

...pretentiously denying that your pretense was not on display at the naming of your pet(s):

Does your pet's pretentious name reflect your income/class?

Some GameChanging self-deception going on in that thread, mostly centered around completly misunderstanding Fussell's point.

EXAMPLE:

If your education was state-school-cheap, but you're naming your pets with handles that "prove" you're a master of arcana, you're not exempt from being pretentious. It's not about the cost of your parchment -- though, for sure, a more spendy parchment "investment" will more loudly and unsubtly imply I'm a Pretentious Knob.

MORE OBVIOUS EXAMPLE WITH QUOTE:
My cat is named George. I named him in honor of several different historical figures named George: George Clifford, 3rd Earl of Cumberland, King George V of the UK, and also George Washington. Knowing that, it may sound pretentious, but nothing about his name alone is pretentious.

What the fuck is NOT pretentious about that rambling apology for the pretentious name given your pretentious little pussy?  What the fuck does a housecat care about your pretentious ability to cross-reference multiple historic Georges and claim a manifold derivation for the Pussy Handle?

too generous, too deferential


Note:  applicable in the USA to "progressives" and "liberals" and those rare creatures who dare call themselves "leftists" or "socialists"... same impulses, with varying degrees of force-fed NannyState-ism.

multi-tasking

Professor Swishy Poof Plantidote also is The Arch-Druid?

The "dissident" blogtopia continues collapsing inward on itself, echo-chamber blogs now becoming blogs with echo-chamber comment threads.

I predict there are at least 5 blogs that do circle-the-wagons-by-referring-to-each-other "blogrolls" which are written by the same person, pretending at perhaps 5 or more different identities, mostly underwritten by one of two things:  partisan pwoggery, or meagre monthly income from MoBroSam contractor entities.

Sunday, January 27, 2013

the superlative PowerNoggin

I may not be as antiquity-rooted+steampunk modernist as the Arch-Druid.

I may not have the Econ-bro cred, Leftist patina or Reformist misdirection skills of the Pink Chipmunks.

I am pretty sure I don't get props from the legion of More Feminist than You, Broheem! bloggers and/or blog-commenters.

But let me tell you, people, none of that hurts as much as not having the poetic and artistic turns of phrase and beautiful palabric brushstrokes wielded by the amazing Phil Rockstroh.

Complaining about a dumbing-down and a lack of refinement and doing it in fluffy, pretentious language with convoluted turns of phrase, while excusing yourself as a poet, artist and philosopher bard, that's better than anything I ever did!

hater gonna hate

I would hate to be so clusterfuckingly stupid, so headcrushingly ignorant, so spine-collapsing in my delusions that I have to go looking for others to tell me what to think, to suggest what I should do, before I can feel good about myself.

It would mean that I would spend my time roaming the InterWebToobz for opinions and assertions that validate what I think I'm supposed to believe or understand, and then, necessarily, getting really fucking pissed off when I encounter something that seems contrary to what I think I'm supposed to believe or understand.  In those cases I'd have to spew all kinds of invective toward the WRONG opinion or FALSE assertion, labelling the speaker/writer as a Misogynist Rapist Reactionary Bircher Teabagger and, in the process, giving a little hug and kiss to my fragile ego, my eggshell-thin self-concept.

I'd have to spend lots of time looking for MEN to blame for everything, at least whenever those MEN are either (a) straight, and therefore reactionary misogynists, or (b) gay, but not interested in having sex with me, which would make that dude functionally a rapist because all sexuality must be defined through my concept of sexuality and "normal" is what I am and "reactionary" or "abnormal" is what everyone not identical to me would or should be labelled as.

Thus, if I were this imaginary Superior Gay Man Who Is A Righteous Noble Feminist, I could only see vaginas as tolerable (we're not even gonna approach "attractive" because things could get ugly fast) if in some small corner of my psyche, I have moments where I wish I sported one myself.  Otherwise they're ugly and I can't figure out what makes those dipshit breeders want anything to do with such an ugly feature of the human form.  The only thing women's bodies are good for, to tell the truth, is to hang my Fashion Creations on them.  Or, in certain dire moments, women are good as Others (generic) that I can choose to protect, and on whose behalf I can experience vicarious offense of good taste, proper manners, and fine breeding.

All that above may make things seem like I objectify women, but let me tell you fellow Feminist Broheem, that I definitely Honor the Vagina and your conclusion that women just operate as tools for my self-aggrandizement, that's pure reactionary misogynist rapist bullshit.

A completely reactionary redneck cracker Christer misogynist snack
turned into a barely-funny counter-meme. That's a win to the winth power right there.

stupidest motherfucker alive

...is the Feminist. 

Blinded by his own desire to feel like a woman --which is his compulsion because like a (hetero) woman, he wants The Cock Inside Him-- he eagerly blames that which can be ascribed to XY, masculinity, patriarchy, rape culture.

Dude-Fem-Bro,

if you don't like rape of women, then don't rape a woman!

It's that easy.

so, y'know, that makes him extra-heroic, 'n' shit

The occasionally funny writer whose funniest stuff doesn't relate to ass-fucking or cock-sucking, or opera, or exquisite rare expensive foodstuffs has declared that we should be lionizing BManning not because of what he did with information, but because he wants to swap genders due to his confusion over what he should possess between his legs, a gash or a twig-n-berries.

Now, of course, if it feels good, do it.

Which extends to murder, theft, confidence scams, and other personal gains through the diminution of others.

If it feels good to force yourself onto someone or some living being that isn't human, and ram your johnson into that creature's orifices, then that's good.  Sex always is good.  Bonobo monkeys prove it.  In fact, if people spent as much time ejaculating as they spend one-upping with Tweets or blog-snark, our culture would not only be happier, but we'd have a lot more semen to clean up, which Jakey would apparently lick up with his own tongue, which would elate him endlessly.  And whatever other frilly blouse modifiers you can conjure.

Yes, having an occasional funny turn of phrase means your sexual politics are beyond question, and your dreams and desires are universally held. 

Remember, readers:  if you are genetically male, and prefer to have sex with men, you're a genius.

It's that simple.

I must be in charge at all times!

Having control freak Pwoggies for parents can't possibly be good for a college kid's development, especially when they come visit every 3 weeks or more often than that.

When travelling to visit the college aged child, whinge and keen and greet about the lack of pristine asphalt despite driving through snowy country in winter.

Bitch and moan about people who drive for a living actually being able to drive in those conditions.

Blame your own rice-dicked impotence on others, whenever you can.  And control your child's life by hovering over that child constantly, even though the child could be legally emancipated by now.

Assume and impose control at all times.

Because you're a progressive, and that's what pwoggies do.  They assume their ideas are globally wise and universally welcome.  And they'll force the ideas upon anyone who doesn't find them wise or welcome.

Because a cool parchment on the Pwoggy's wall says the Pwoggy is brilliant.

Friday, January 25, 2013

nice shot

like Anton Chigurh's pith bolt gun

no, seriously

The God/Christian thing is well overplayed, it's an inflated Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade balloon creature.

Most people who call themselves "Christian" treat church like a good progressive treats going to a wine bar or a Thai restaurant.

The distortion comes up through opinions on abortion, which progressives like to claim as their tribal High Moral Ground. Most of the infotainment media available to most Democrat-voting people endorses and enlarges this exaggeration of the God thing.

If you go into any town and talk to someone as if you're trying to befriend him or her, sincerely, you will learn what people REALLY think. It's a good bit different than what you get from the infotainment media, or the internet.

If you come at them trying to divide yourself and then make yourself the winner, by instigating on abortion and pushing their buttons before you learn what drives their outlook on life generally, human life specifically, and human responsibilities both generally and specifically, you can probably provoke them to invoking God somehow. 

But is that any different from some hyperfeminist broheem bragging on himself by putting down another as a "rapist misogynist" simply because on the question of abortion that other doesn't hold the same views in the exact phrasing used by hyperfeminist broheem?

cheese puffs

Pinnacle of hipster pseudo-intellectualism circa 25 January 2013.

A true PowerNoggin would do some statistical analysis and note the frequency of rape as contrasted against the frequency of cell-phone-related accidents causing serious or mortal injury, or incidence of drone-related killings, in the same timeframe.

But then you might not get all the More Feminist than You, Bro-heem! hipsters rallied around their Defense of the Generic Vagina.

Solnit's as wordy-fluffy as the Diamond Merchant Junior College's expert on reactionaries, and as cheesy as Pedro Zedro "Oscars" Meyers.

Thursday, January 24, 2013

budge it


Wallander.

It's a slick show that obviously was expensive to make -- They use UK actors/actresses, but shoot on location in Sweden. Everyone drives a swanky Volvo sedan or wagon that is current model year, except for the occasional Obviously Redneck Reactionary Misogynist Rapist Christer Cracker, who will be driving a Lada that's rattling as it goes down the road. 

Sometimes the show feels like it's trying to tell the BBC's viewers that the UK needs to emulate Sweden.  But then there's the murders that the main character has to solve, they're usually grisly in one way or another, leaving a weird impression that Swedes would rather torture each other or carve each other up over what Americans would barely consider trouble enough to think about calling a lawyer.

In between discovering new slaughter/torture victims, the characters heroically put in 17-hour days trying to track down the Insane ___________ Who Obviously Is The Killer In Question. 

This proves the stoic Swedes easily out-over-achieve their American counterparts, because if this were an American show the detectives would never do more than speak 3 words in a sentence, each completing partway the thoughts of the person whose 4 words were just spoken, eventually making a single thread of a sentence out of 5 different detectives' perspectives.  And they'd be a PC rainbow of detectives too, with a jewish lesbian African-American one, a gay albino one, a Lucy Liu Chinese Ice Queen one, a dimwitted misogynist who gets the ladies like Sam Malone, and a cranky but savvy old Arab who reminds you just barely of Yasser Arafat.  Also, midway through the season, a quirky emo/goth (if female) or sliderule dweeb (if male) Tech Genius will join the crew, and make Fish Out of Water remarks that are both self-deprecatingly naive and supra-humanesque in their brilliance. 

Gotta Doogie Howser that shit, man.  Nerds are cool again, thanks to the vaporware e-econo-bubble of bogus wealth creation. 

But, y'know, only the Cool Nerds who have made at least a half million to date. 

If you aren't there yet, proto-Nerd, then be sure to brush up on your Hipster Regalia and add a few more bullshit accomplishments to your CV.  Market, market, always market.

Tweet about it.  Blog about it.  GoPro yourself taking a dump in the Executive Washroom at Bland-Tech.  Update your status on zuckbuck, compete with your zuckbuck friends on whose latest update is more enviable.

In other words, behave like the very same people you used to mock when you were in in high school.  Status-climb, just like they did.

*******************

Getting back to Wallander: even though I really can't get enough of them in every other mogadishu'ing area of my life, thankfully zombies, vampires and werewolves are not among the suspects in the crimes investigated.

None of the characters is a Barbie or Ken doll.  That's a sure sign it's not an American production.

And the main character is a straight man -- meaning not gay, and not meaning deadpan comic foil -- who cries and shows some emotional volatility.  In America, such a character couldn't play the heroic position of police detective solving gritty murders -- he'd have to be Stuart Smalley or Buster Bluth. 

Or Bill Clinton.

Or Lance Armstrong on Oprah.

arrives when the chairs are going onto tables

Hanky Grrr-Ewwww begins admitting what some of us have been saying for 15 years.

Naturally, he's the paid public intellectual, and those of us who have been observing and sharing the truth Hanky missed for the past 15 years, we're just insane misogynist reactionaries with rape fantasies.

Northern America

I haven't seen the footage of this crash, but I wonder why the racers agreed to go down that course if they felt so strongly about its safety. I'm not a fan of fluorescent paint on roots and rocks on MTB race courses, though, so that makes me a reactionary who's standing in the way of progressing the safety of racing, I guess.

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

Ka-CHING!

Chuckie buys a round for the bar!

Let's all raise a glass.

L'chaim!

could not be done

by PowerNoggins with words that they think embody the present political problems icksetteruh icksetteruh.



for the musical equivalent of PowerNoggin word-shredding, please see Barry Manilow in all his ...uh, yeah.

Monday, January 21, 2013

cuz you stayed up late reading nietzsche and marx

looking for a bit of craic

Our news editors were gravely concerned last night about various subjects within the great American society, so I was sent out to talk to a few people in Portland OR, Seattle WA, Boulder CO, Austin TX and Asheville NC -- five well-known Hipster Havens across the USA, where the populace are known to be informed and intelligent and engaged in the struggle for democracy.

*************

Q1 - Do you think America is becoming a tyrannical police state made for the exclusive benefit of the top 5% in socio-political-economic wealth?

"Well I'm not sure, let me see what's trending on Twitter."

"I really couldn't say without getting my morning look at firedoglake."

"I think that's just what the crazy cracker reactionaries are saying because they're concerned --and rightly so-- that we're going to control their guns."

"Of course not. Heightened security measures are required because we are the foremost proponent of democracy on the planet, and lots of crazed reactionary redneck domestic terrorists are against democracy. In place of democracy they want anarchy, which is the same as everyone murdering or raping everyone else. I know this because I'd be raping or killing you right now if not for the Police. The police are heroic."


Q2 - Do you feel justified in supporting and voting for Obama in 2008 and 2012?

"Of course I do. He has taken us past racism and oppression. We are seeing more cooperation from the Evil Rethuglicans in the Congress. The economy is bubbling along nicely if you're well-educated enough to know where to throw your excess coin."

"Absolutely. Look at the alternatives we were given. Dumbass Romnesia? Insane McCain? I tell you, we'd be in a Mussolini-style police state right now if one of those reactionary Rethugs were president."

"Yes, definitely. We're about to see an upsurge in the Green Economy. Obama will create a Department of Green Technology during his 2d term, and the environment will rejoice as will I."

"You're kidding, right? The choice each time was Progressive or Reactionary. Why would anyone vote Reactionary?"


Q3 - What do you think about the problem of Reactionaries in America?

"I think we should round them up and kill them, then burn them in a massive fire."

"I think we should force them to watch Queer Eye for the Straight Guy 24/7/365 until the 2016 elections."

"I think they need to try being more tolerant, like me. Last time I met a Reactionary I kneecapped him with a rubber dum-dum bullet. Didn't break any bones but boy, did I teach a good lesson that day. TEACHABLE MOMENT!"

"I'm going to follow what the brilliant pederast, Corey Robin, has suggested. I'm going to grow a beard (get married) and fuck all kinds of twinks on the side, including my research assistants.  That will teach them!"

Saturday, January 19, 2013

true the sickened din

repeater

Always remember, things would be much worse if some Evil Rethuglican cracker Christer misogynist were President, or if the Noble Hallowed Body of Legislators was dominated by the Evil Rethuglicans.

EPA changed course after oil company protested

Keep looking for reactionaries crackers Christers and misogynists to blame. That's where the real power is.

keys off

Why do we hear about "wipe them off the map" whenever someone mentions Ahmadinejhad?

Here's why.

there she goes

If my music is going to be mid-paced I want it to shamble and misdirect, not hand me a chunk of DoubleBubble.

If I'm perusing ancient papyrus scrolls, I want the opposite, but hold the sugar.  Unless you're going to Krispy Kreme.

*************

It remains like a pigeon-shit encrusted bronze statue gone green, the notion that what America lacks now is a return to the Rule of Law.  Great black-robed thinkers, noble public-servant scriveners, and expensive-suited, fine-parchmented advocates have shaped it into the finest system on Earth.  Even our hallowed, trans-partisan, post-racism, exotic-named and perfectly articulate First Black President was a law professor!

Profess the proscriptions!  The prescriptions, the mandates, the restraints, the regulations, the approvals both tacit and hidden-loophole -- they too must be pronounced from the pen, keyboard, Tel-E-Promp-Ter, or noble speechbox wielded by one of History's great Citizens, one of the State's great Directors, one of The Law's Chosen.

It has not --despite the acidic complaints and petulant beggings of certain non-State-approved-skeptics-- become a self-parody.

At all.

The esteemed Professor Jordan Paust

I've been kicking ass all my life, son!  I'm on the faculty at Cougar Law!  Stand down, you gravitas-deficient home-schooled reactionary idiot!


Wednesday, January 16, 2013

fut the whuck?

Bandwagon time:  if you want to be taken seriously as a blogblabber, write a frilly-bloused-modifier-pregnant euology for Aaron Swartz.

You didn't know him, but you understand what he went through because you, too, have had a fleeting fantasy or two about standing up to power.

Like that time when you lectured the person with 12 items in front of you in the Express Line at the grocery.

Oh.

Wait.

That's standing up to reinforce the rules, isn't it?

Oh well.

You've got your thesaurus ready.  Go git it!  Show us how little you know of the world from your blog-bubble cocoon.

Tuesday, January 15, 2013

murka

Because no professional progressive successful weekend warrior pseudoskier ever thought all he needed to do was buy "sidecountry" skis bindings boots poles and then go "pow farming" in the "sick sidecountry, bro!" and because the stupidfuck Ski Industry pushes the theme of Buy New Gear and never suggests Learn The Basics First**,

this shit happens.
Vermont Sees Dramatic Increase In Backcountry Rescues | 45 In The Past Two Weeks

This season the Northeast has seen a dramatic rise in the number of backcountry rescues. With the big early season the northeast has been experiencing many resort skiers are heading out of bounds and into trouble. Vermont State Police have claimed up to 45 rescues in the last two weeks alone.

“That’s the big issue,” Bolton Valley ski patroller Quinn Keating told WCAX. “Leaving the ski area boundary unprepared and unaware of where you’re going, without a backpack with supplies or friends with you is not backcountry skiing that irresponsible skiing.”


___________________________

**Because that doesn't include the prospect of Buying New Gear.

I say Wimpy, Wompy, Wamble-ey

...oh no man, it's too early for me.  I gotta drive.

I never laughed at this when I was 16.  That would have been a redneck, reactionary, misogynist thing to do/be.

Listen for an echo here.  Today there'd be reference to patriotic harvesting of tar sands and economy-boosting liberations of petroproducts through fracking.  The cousin commercial would be for The Green Motor Cooperative's new 2014 Perseus - A Green Revelation for a Green Revolution.

How'd they get a woman to do this clearly misogynist bit?

************

I agree with this guy here:
If the title of this album doesn't serve as an adequate admonition of what's in store, the first track will: "Hey, look out for that s%#t on the floor... Whoops! Ha ha ha... Well, we've got a filthy show for you tonight!" If you're easily offended, deeply religious, or have an otherwise sensitive disposition, you may want to steer clear. However, If you're a real sicko, like me, you'll not only find this album laugh-out-loud funny on your first listen, you'll enjoy listening again and again as you discover its many subtleties. Some of the tracks, like Christopher Guest's spoof on Mr. Rogers, I simply never grow tired of listening to.

who am I?

A little over 10 years ago I decided my law practice wasn't earning me any money.  Or --wait a minute-- more accurately, wasn't getting me the kinds of personal acclaim I truly craved.  My income actually was pretty nice, thanks.  I had a swell collection of fine suits and exquisite Egyptian cotton pinpoint oxford shirts, with a stunning array of Europe's finest neckties.  My Italian loafers had leather that was buttery smooth and my feet were never happier.

But nobody asked for my autograph -- ever.

That hurt.

In my spare time I was beginning to pay close attention to national politics.  By temperament I am mostly a Democrat, for reasons that aren't relevant to this little tale.  But Democrat I was, and this was the era of Dubya Bush and Dick Cheney, the very fonts of all Rethuglican Evil. 

I myself relished the game of hating Dick Cheney and wanting to wipe the smirk off Dubya Bush's face with the slap of a white goatskin glove.

They were such easy targets, so brazen in their Rethuglican-ness.

***********

I decided that I would write a book about the erosion of civil liberties under Bush-Cheney.

***********

At that time, drones were very commonly used in espionage and in atmospheric study.  The concept of unmanned aircraft, guided missiles and rockets, etc. at that time was not new and was not stale, and with the most cursory review of where defense and national security dollars were spent would lead to some obvious trends, especially if the observer was aware of how video games have evolved in the militarized/shooter genre and how a whole new series of generations of Americans were growing up comfortable with controlling death through a gamepad's buttons and joysticks.

It's where I'd put my money if I were the Secretary of Defense Spending Forever.  So much synchronicity and symbiosis, how would I be able to resist?

***********

Unfortunately I did not notice these trends and therefore I chose to focus on Evil Rethuglicans and through my efforts at blaming them (while excusing Democrats, repeatedly, for many years), I developed a reputation as a scholar of various things on the national political stage.

Which raises the question of why, 10 years ago, I was so emphatic about how partisan were the problems I wrote about.

And maybe it raises the question of why I haven't been able to explain to my now-large-fanbase just exactly where my "analysis" comes from, or where my perspectives have changed.

But let's not allow ourselves the possibly caustic fallout from asking those questions.

Because let me tell you, Mister, that I prove my bona fides every day with stuff like this, speaking of the developments as astonishing and, truly, to myself, when being made aware of their occurrence -- a revelatory and rookie-like experience.

Even though they were going on back when I researched my very first published Expert Analysis of Power in Washington DC.

You'll forgive me these areas of wisdom-deficiency, I know.

Because you're far lazier than I am, and more than anything you'd prefer someone who sounds convincingly authoritative, telling you what to think and believe.

it is what it is

Remember, thinking about social power can only be done if you devote decades to reading and assimilating the collected works of Glossy Karl.

Here speaks the voice of Gloss itself:
Originally Posted by RedHammer

How do you feel about the modern image of Marxists as angsty teenage hipsters? I think this is hurtful to our movement.

It doesn't worry me one bit. Marxism isn't something you can easily identify with teenagers because it's something that requires years and years of study.

By the time you can legitimately call yourself a Marxist puberty is long gone.

So put your teeny-tiny little mind at rest: no teeny-tiny little teeny-bopper can ever co-opt the politics of adults.
Sure, that looks serious and satiric at the same time; possibly it's even funny. Depends on which side of that divide it's on.

Maybe look for some context?

Like here? --
Originally Posted by A Revolutionary Tool

I am an angsty teenager though...

But I think you got the stereotype wrong, Marxists are usually stereotyped as professors who say a lot of nothing in a very smart way that makes the students think they're saying something deeply profound. And in the end they're just trying to get into some college freshmen's pants.


What you say might be true. But I hope you understand your own limitations.

I hope you acknowledge that to master Marxism and to gain the right to call yourself a Marxist, requires more years than you have lived.
Not quite yet. Maybe add this?
I'm trying to emphasize my view that no one has the right to call themselves a Marxist until they've spent the required time and effort to master such a vast subject. To do so is akin to calling yourself a doctor just because you know how to apply a band-aid.
Yes, understanding Marxism is like going through medical school + residency.

Precisely. But did you say, "more context, please?"

I thought you did.
Look, being a Marxist is more than just studying the required texts. Direct, extensive experience in the class struggle is needed; something you obviously lack.

Moreover, a genuine Marxist is not a doctrinaire or a sectarian. A real Marxist (which only adults are entitled to call themselves) is able to understand the course of history and political struggles enough to make sound electoral choices when required. A real Marxist is not guided by petty party prejudices but by sound, objective, mature pragmatism (something teenagers such as yourself are incapable of).

In re Obama, let me tell you that if by voting for some whacked out third party candidate we'll help empower Romney (who'll bring with him the same crew that commandeered the WH in 2000-2008), give me Obama one hundred fucking years. No amount of juvenile objections such as yours will persuade me otherwise.

But i can't really expect you to understand that because when GW Bush came into office in 2000 you were how old, 5?

Please don't make me laugh. All you know about the past 12 years of politics is what you read in books; you have not lived enough to pass judgement on my opinions.

In re Obama?

Seriously?

How about Nelson Raymond Obama? N. Ray Obama?

Hey, maybe if I say "In re:_______" it will sound like I'm a lawyer, or at least someone who once saw a legal document!

Good job shifting the attention toward youth vs old age, and continuing the confirmation of the bias toward old age = wisdom and youth = folly. Clearly that gross division proves the only way to understand social power is through Glossy Karl's collected works and an entire life spent studying them.

Wonder if maybe that same time spent merely considering one's own power in one's own immediate groups (family, workplace, social groups, town, county, state, region, nation, continent, planet as we work up the ladder), and observing how power is granted, where it's seized, when it's yielded silently, and in which cases it increases despite the supposed opponent's vocal objections on some ancillary irrelevancy -- if that might yield something equivalent to a lifetime spent in a cloistered abbey dedicated to Marxist contemplation?

It's always worth asking the urban dictionary what's true and what's not.

23. hipster
Hipsters are fond of using terminology such as "misogynist" "androgynous" "feminist" "racist" and other "progressive" or "enlightened" politically cultural marxist or left-wing catch phrases meant to denote the feeling that "they care...YOU don't" "they are intelligent....YOU aren't." The irony to hipster logic, is that, despite often being described as having an appreciation for the "ironic" the hipster doesn't understand that whether a particular trend is mainstream, or counter cultural, that they are still buying into something that is marketable, despite the "dumb sheeple" that continue to buy into the mainstream.

mountain lifestlye hipster accessory

I drive a $75k crossover, wear Norrona & POC gear, GoPro every run.  In the lift line, people know I'm a success.

That's why Dynafit is making this binding for me.

I'm gonna slay that 150ft sidecountry stash, bro!  Got my Avy Bag backpack ready!

commercial fishing operation

We're going to spend the day on the Internet looking for Christers, crackers, rednecks, misogynists, teabaggers, Birchers, rapists to blame for our lack of motivation to do anything but spend the day issuing snarky posts on the Internet.

We'll do it from a crazy new espresso bar that we drove to in our Prius.

With my iPad I can post more snark per minute than some stupid reactionary misogynist.

Monday, January 14, 2013

skillz R fer themz wiffout DONUTS

It wuz de crullah.

unring a bell

I believe I'm seeing a mote of something more than distractive blah-blah-blah here.

"Hero" is mawkish, the concept is watered down by constant reference in our culture to the "heroism" of people who do nothing difficult, nothing more than what they're paid to do, which pay assumes things that cubicle-rat cocooned-life pampered professionals don't ever subject themselves to. Po-po and firemen aren't "heroic" for doing their jobs. TSA thugs aren't "heroic." Soldiers both statist and contractor are not "heroic" for murdering, maiming, horrifying and otherwise life-destroying others in their sick daily routines.

By now, "heroic" can refer to some weasel anonymous (or not) blogger who spends her time or his time looking for "reactionaries" to scathe and indict and convict and punish.

So maybe find some other construct and label to praise the troubled dude who hit his own off swtich.

Saturday, January 12, 2013

pwogtastic Captain America

Lance Armstrong is a good analog to the average American Progressive -- character assassinations a staple of the ego-protective self-delusional arrogant person.


Hipster 101

"Dude, I'm so tired of intolerant people."

"Yeah, they bug me."

"I hear that.  Me, I'm not intolerant.  Of anything."

"Seriously, everyone else is wrong!"

"On second thought, I'm pretty intolerant of intolerance."

"REACTIONARY!"

"Yeah, if you say so."

willful stupidity, What is?

It's the practice of refusing to know someone before forming an opinion about him/her.

It's the gambit of pretending everyone either thinks exactly like you do, or is a

stupid redneck reactionary christer cracker bircher prepper misogynist rapist.

It's the refusal to allow difference in view, in experience, in values.

***********

You, PowerNoggin, believe that your paid-for Fancy Parchment has solidified your perspectives and opinions as Superior Things -- and, more than that, they are the only perspectives and opinions acceptable in a Polite Progressive Society.

So when a person utters a remark that you find, on its face, disagreeable?

Obviously the person is a

stupid redneck reactionary christer cracker bircher prepper misogynist rapist,

and needs to be corrected by the Boys in Blue and Men in Black Robes and Turds in Bull Costume,

or rectified by force-feeding of Labor Union Harangue and Glossy Karl meandering bullshit theory that stopped being applicable 150 years ago, if it ever was useful.

EDUCATION!

CORRECTION!

It's cool by you, Hyperfeminist Bro, if Hallowed Progressive Public Schools resemble SuperMax facilities.

Both are involved in the field of Correcting Wrong Impulses Thoughts Behaviors Statements.

Both are designed to protect Special Humans from

stupid redneck reactionary christer cracker bircher prepper misogynist rapists.

Thursday, January 10, 2013

you can't

...find this un-funny, because it's a woman wearing the stupid un-funny shirt and you're not allowed to say that a woman's "funny t-shirt" is not even slightly funny. 

That would be misogynist of you.


Maybe some dipshit "feminist" can explain what makes that stupidfuck t-shirt "funny."

emm oh

mus musculus domesticus recently offered a conclusion, based on nothing but conjecture, which stated the following:

your mo is violently fallin outta love with other bloogers cuz they fails your purity test

Hah hah hah hah heh heh heh heh ho ho ho ho ...burst appendix... HAH HAH HAH HAH!

What here is "mo"?

Momentum?

Motivation?

hoMOsexuality?

Modus operandi?

I'll give MMD the benefit of the doubt and assume she's talking about the last one.

Here's my method, MMD:

1) encounter some bullshit somewhere in life -- in person, or on the Toobz

2) wonder what the fuck caused that bullshit to arise

3) take the bullshit, invert it based on the bullshit-offerer/-believer's rhetorical stance, and amplify it by fun-house mirroring (distortion and exaggeration)

4) laugh heartily throughout the process

5) write a fast blog entry making fun of the bullshit and my inversion of it

6) wait for stupid, naive, projection-happy Idiots to drop by and make completely mistaken assumptions about me and what I think and what motivates me

7) possibly see the Idiot encapsulate the Idiocy in a snarky comment that declares, passive-aggressively, the commenter's superiority and my supposed stupidity, bigotry, etc.

8) revel in the ironies

9) observe that what Hipster Douchebags consider "irony" is not ironic at all, and more relevantly, that what the Idiot Commenter left as superior snark is nothing more than an exercise in self-embarrassment and delusion

10) random other thoughts, feelings, laughs, impulses may accrue

*************

I just want all you Nonny Mice to realize that your projections tell me lots about you, and tell nothing at all about me.

Using your "logical deduction" methods, that is.

*************

The above thoughts may or may not be true, accurate or honest, depending on my mood and what I find funny at any given moment.

Please allow your noggin to explode under the pressure of trying to comprehend my perspective.



Thank you.

I created a fantasy...

...turned it into a penis/clit, and rubbed it to the point of involuntary muscle spasms and ejaculation.

Like a good feminist would.

Don't forget the women. Unless stopped, men will take their hatred out on women even more openly and more brutally than today, as horrible as it is already. Some of the hatred is open like pornography, prostitution and battery, but much of it is dressed up in a language of economics, competition, free markets and a defense of freedom. Rand was also a crazed human and male supremacist. Sites like Zero Hedge already make it clear how men channel their "economic and geopolitical frustration" into a hatred of women, or maybe it's the other way around.

People generally don't accept being deprived of their entitlements, the corrupting influence of free money if you will. Men as a class will both try take their discomfort out on women, and expect women to absorb the shock materially as well. Men don't want to accept looking in the mirror and seeing themselves for their only "enemy", and therefore take it out on women who we can't let stay available for that anymore.

Better smoke a cig now, Hyperfeminist Bro.

Was it as good for she as it was for he?  

You just rescued the entire XX genetic populace with that scathing indictment of every single man.

I must admit you're correct. Whenever something goes wrong in my life, first thing I do is blame a woman. First thing. Reflexively.

Like when I saw a kid (male) get beat up by 3 other kids (2 male, 1 female), I definitely let the two male kids off the hook and put all the blame squarely on the female kid.

I always do that.

Instead of blaming Rahm Emanuel or Barack Obama for the things each man has done, I look everywhere for a woman to blame. It just makes sense.

Always blame a category.  Why?  A bent piece of pig iron says that individualism, including individual responsibility, is why America is collapsing.  You've got to get on board with the Ideal Revolution of a bent piece of pig iron -- or else that pig iron will come down on your noggin, crush your skull, kick in your head.

************

Where do these poofty feminists get their ideas, anyway? San Francisco bath houses?

yeah baby. YEAH!

The only people who lie to you are those from the Other Party.  So, you know, if you fancy yourself an enlightened humanitarian progress-oriented leftist, anything that isn't enlightened humanitarian progress-oriented leftism, that's just bullshit lies spewed by reactionary misogynists who harbor rape fantasies.

Nobody ever uses polysyllabics, or rare words you have to look up, in order to Yellow Kid Weil your stupid ass on the subject of Knowing What the Fuck I'm Talking About.  Nobody ever uses pretense in place of wisdom, knowledge, experience.

Nobody.

Except the Other Party.  Or the Other Team.  Or the Adversary Tribe.

Madison Avenue may work a strong psy-op line of rhetoric and image-based enticement, but you know, Serious Leftist Bro, it's limited strictly to Madison Avenue and the Other Party, Other Team, Adversary Tribe.

Nobody ever writes a blog entry with facticity, historicity, and convoluted pretentious writing as a way to gull you.

Nobody.

Ever.

Especially not someone who is A Hallowed Academic with a current or past precious posted position on the faculty of some post-HS parchment factory.

Or someone who calls himself the Arch-Druid for the entire North American Land Mass.

Or someone who spent 2 decades writing Imperialist Apology for various Reputable News Outlets, after a childhood and young adulthood of comfy privilege in which he never knew economic or existential hardship or struggle.  If he tells you now that he's a Man of the People, a Pal of the Prole, you should believe him, and ignore his history of Imperial Apology.

Or, even better, someone who says he's a Constitutional Law Expert and former Constitutional Law Litigator.  If that person writes a book blaming Evil Rethuglicans for all of America's problems with eroding civil rights, you had better believe Mister Constitution Expert, and trust that the Noble Democrats never would do anything to hurt you -- ever!

my pig iron has rusted and is crumbling

Nothing here is done cavalierly, Greg… but, I see you also have taken to babbling yet again.

Your extreme Hobbesian view of the human condition, together with your biological determinism, does not quite mesh with your embrace of the “transcendent.” I would offer for your consideration viewing science, religion and politics as all being cut from the same cloth. Of course, I am speaking of all of these as civilized (and hierarchical) cultural structures. Also, I do not deny that the OT speaks rather clearly about the profound problematic of civilized life and kingship in particular. That is why it took the Israelites so long to take a king, instead of judges and prophets to set direction. But, the OT is also part and parcel of the temporal problematic – time as a unidirectional event unfolding, effect after cause, in a non-reversible pattern leading to an ultimate conclusion. It also sets up a duality leading to denial of the body – shame, guilt, etc. But we even see the beginnings of this in the Epic of Gilgamesh as well, an antecedent to the OT, I believe.

Historicity proves me a genius, lemmings. Glom onto my expertise, tout my wisdom, praise my scholarly bent (heh! bent like the pig iron after which I am named).

I can recite facticitous gobbledegook, peculiar references to apocryphal wisdom, and blathering boolshyte that puffs up my perspicacity in your ocular orbits and their neuronal connection to the large involuted grey mass of processing tissue that resides within your calcified headvault.

Worship me, for I am never wrong in the land of my fantastic creation.

Ron – your sarcastic attempts at giving a complement are boring and saccharine sweet. They are meaningless blubbering at best. Your quotations are cute, but you do not understand the contexts from which they have been plucked; you seem to grasp hold of cute words that make you feel good. That is your prerogative. However, to play here you should think harder and offer us a real thought, not someone else digested sputum.

Beating off in public didn't work for Pee Wee Herman but apparently it is champ-peen-ship kwal-it-eee for a bent piece of pig iron.

Derek is right, Ron. You cling to a dualistic worldview that is a creation of the collective imagination. You are so much a part of that herd you wish to rail against. But that is your choice; and if Greg wants to follow you like a mouse following the pied piper, that is his prerogative as well. I will not even bother arguing with your assumptions; they are fixed in cement.

The pig iron has been cold-worked into a giant letter E.


________________

Hallowed Harangues of Hoo-Hah-ism -- we imagine that you can't discern that we're all written by the same guy with a pretense at different authors.

And you're a misogynistic reactionary with rape fantasies if you even consider the 3-in-1 Holy Spirit of The Crow.

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

hey bud

If there's one thing being old gets you, it's perspective.  An old buddy is too young to have one on the thing he's about to tell us:

Anyway, not to put to fine a point on it. But I think JMG is wrong on a lot of his stuff. I think we are probably in a Beat like gestation period with a 60s era cultural upheaval, this time it will be expressed in an anti-capitalist, anti-consumption, vaguely anti-statist manner rather than the post WWII, hyper nationalist, peaking US context of that era. I wouldn't say Americans are beautiful, but I can say for sure that a one of them I've ever spoke to or overheard talking about the matter seems to give a damn about maintaining a nationalist vision as a political construct.

Of course the Arch-Druid is wrong about many things, and I think I spent a few posts over the past 2 weeks saying as much. His problem is self-confirmation and self-reference, much like the fiction known as Arthur Silber, whose posted thoughts tend to be a mix of frilly bloused whining, quotations of himself, and links to his prior posts. Here I am, look at me looking at me looking at myself.

Huzzah.

Or whatever you like to use as your pep-up cheer.

**************

I'm old enough to remember what happened in the "60s era cultural upheaval" and it's not what Old Buddy seems to imagine. Old Buddy seems to rely on Infotainment Media Representations of The Sixties (which actually rode across the decade line into the early 70s and died around 1974 or, roughly, when the Vietnam War "officially" ended) and not so much on what really happened back then.

Reminder: Kent State was "the Sixties."

Reminder: Unisex free love and drugs aplenty was not "the Sixties."

Reminder: Cultural renaissance was not "the Sixties."

The big wave of culture didn't happen outside what Hippies Older Than Myself seem to fondly remember.

The fact that Andy Warhol made fun of consumerism while glorifying it, that doesn't bode well for a cultural renaissance. Instead it's a sign of bored resignation to what isn't going to evolve or revolve.

I hereby quit creating, and begin acting as a parrot.

What The Sixties actually did when they finally ended with Gerry Ford, Watergate, I Am Not A Crook, etc.?

They morphed into the disco era.  Wife-swapping was so fucking cool and really helped children understand the adult world's truths.  Payola revolutionized music, bro!  Here's a few thimbles of Bolivian Marching Powder, Mistah DeeJay, please play Billy Don't Be A Hero 3x/hour.

Some revolution, eh?

Well, at least gasoline was forced to unlead.

And SUVs were born.

And The Major Infotainment Media Outlets learned:  do not ever show the real human costs of Imperial Adventure Abroad.

That's a devolution!

workin'

Read the post/comment count for the first 3 entries here.

Tell me people actually work when "at work," and don't collect money for web surfing on the clock.

Nice economy, bro.

That's just the fringe sport of MTB.

Sham.

Wow.

Work? That's for schlubs. Money for nothing, that's the game!


the grippe

No, not the flu.

That was the exotic version of "grip."  As in, "get a grip."

If you're a pwog or other refined, tasteful leftist the pull of the exotic is impossible to resist.  So, let's see who's lacking a firm grip on reality.

John Glaser!

Former Senator Chuck Hagel, nominated on Monday by President Obama to be the next Secretary of Defense, would be “likely to favor a sizable drawdown in Afghanistan, more frugal spending at the Pentagon and extreme caution when contemplating the use of force in places like Iran or Syria,” if confirmed....

Why would a swap of DefSec allegedly be required to implement a "drawdown" or change in plans?

I'll tell you.

To continue the ruse that the choice of SecDef makes a big difference!

Why, if we can't have Hagel, we'll have eternal warfare! But if we put Hagel in there, DRAWDOWN!

Surely this will pit Mighty Donkey against Reactionary Elephant!

Couldn't possibly consider or even begin to implement a DRAWDOWN if we don't get Hagel in there as SecDef.

Could not even think about it.

Wouldn't venture a whimsical fleeting moment of musing over it.

Can't do it.


tha laaaaaaah

Pwogs and other statists love to harp on The Law and its majestic force. The Law protects noble progressives from the murderous raping impulses of Reactionaries, Teabaggers, Birchers, Crackers, Christers, Rednecks, Misogynists.

It's never used for profiteering. Never mis-used by those who claim they're rescuing innocents from the grasping, clutching tentacles of Horrible Reactionaries.

Well... unless it is.

Last season, A Precious Child** was killed in an avalanche at McResort McFancy, a/k/a A Vail Resorts Facility.  The death prompted all kinds of blame-the-other (a true Pwog-fessional pastime) and eventually led to The Greenwald Approach -- litigation of rare, but widely-applicable liabilities.

Family Sues Vail Resorts

Thinking Of The Children, all reality and sanity goes out the window because Concern On Behalf Of Others is very progressive. 

Wise words shared here. No, I'm not the author.

I read with dismay that District Judge Patrick Murphy handed out a ruling supporting attorney Jim Heckbert, a lawyer who has built a career on high-profile lawsuits against the ski industry. Murphy ruled that slides are not an inherent risk of skiing, and Heckbert was given permission to proceed in a lawsuit relating to the inbounds avalanche on closed terrain in Vail that killed a local teen last year.

The tragedy inherent in the loss of a young teenager's life and the grief of his friends and family aside, this ruling has two significantly negative implications for all of us who ski and recreate in the mountains.

First, it illogically invalidates some universally standard practices of ski areas across the country for controlling access to terrain.

Second, it continues to encourage skiers to operate under the blissfully false assumption that they will never face the risk of avalanches inbounds, and therefore don't need to ski with the attendant caution and respect for terrain that such a sobering notion might require.

On the issue of ropelines: While parties will no doubt continue to dispute the details of the slide on Prima Cornice in court, the fact remains that the skiers hiked uphill into an avalanche closure. Having multiple gates to different portions of terrain is standard industry practice for controlling access to runs like Prima Cornice. It is logistically neither possible nor desirable to have patrol running miles of ropeline through gladed runs and other avalanche terrain on every mountain in the country.

Regardless that no “hard” boundary exists between the skier's-left side of the run and the avy-prone skier's-right area, anyone who goes in there can easily see that the left-hand ramp from the lower gate is significantly less steep, that's why it is possible to open the lower gate without control work.

During the time I worked as a patroller on Lone Peak in Montana, we regularly had upper gates closed and lower gates open as way of controlling skier access until we were felt more confident about avalanche conditions in upper paths. Note that I said “felt more confident.” Avalanche risk is never zero, and the ski patrol will never claim as such.

Take a look at any other hill and you will see avalanche terrain controlled in the same manner. Numerous stacked gate entrances are used at Breckenridge as you traverse from the T-bar into the terrain on and below Peak 7.

How would Crested Butte have any hope of controlling access to the Headwall and Outer Limits area without this arrangement?

At Beaver Creek, multiple gates allow access into Stone Creek in the same way as the upper and lower Prima Cornice gates. It is perfectly reasonable to open the lower gates to allow skier access into those runs with the expectation that hiking uphill is not allowed. Short of closing any terrain that even smells like it might be avy terrain, which none of us wants, this is simply the best option resorts have to operate.

On the second issue: Judge Murphy's ruling that avalanches are impossible inbounds (he determined they are not a legally defined inherent risk of skiing) may make you feel better about skiing expert terrain with impunity , but the mountains may not have gotten the message.

He might as well have ruled that it is illegal for cars to wreck on the road. Anyone who cares to pay attention should be able to recall numerous inbounds slides in recent years that beg to differ with Messrs Heckbert and Murphy.

Inbounds slides and deaths have happened at Jackson Hole (Toilet Bowl area), Squaw Valley (Paulson's Gully), Snowbird (Baldy Chutes), A-Basin (Palavicinni area), Snowmass (Hanging Valley), Winter Park (another one that Heckbert is suing over), and The Canyons (Red Pine Chutes).

While I lived in Big Sky, post-control releases occurred in Liberty Bowl and off of Challenger lift nearly every year. It happens. Ski patrol did their job correctly and well. It still happens. If you choose to ski steep terrain, you have to accept it.

Based on this case and others, it is not clear that most skiers at Vail even understand that favorite inbounds runs are definitive avalanche terrain. Look Ma/Challenge, Genghis Khan, Lovers Leap, N/S Rim, Snag Park, Milt's, Rasputin's, Bald Eagle, Osprey, Ripsaw, Cataract, Peregrine, everything in Stone Creek — these runs easily tip the scales at 35 degrees or steeper and are avalanche terrain.

All of them have the potential to slide one day with you on them, after the resort opens, after control work. Patrol does an incredible and professional job mitigating the risk.

That still doesn't make it zero, and that doesn't leave you off the hook for being aware of the risk and making a conscious choice to ski the run.

Despite Heckbert's assertion and Murphy's court ruling, it is physically impossible to hit every pocket of avy danger on every run, every time it snows, every time the snowpack metamorphoses during the season. Use at your own risk.

Vail is the largest resort in the United States. If people believe that 80-ish ski patrollers a day can absolutely sniff out every lurking pocket of avalanche danger in 5,300 acres, including the numerous steep glades and off-map runs that we all regularly ski, they are kidding themselves.

These men and women already do the best job mitigating avy risk that is possible.

Unfortunately, complete elimination is an impossible task.

Attorney Jim Heckbert's statement that “All of us would ski with beacons and shovels if avalanche is an inherent risk, especially when skiing with children” is very telling of his own and the general public's happy willingness disregard avy risk inbounds.

If you move the scene a few states north to Jackson Hole, Big Sky or Bridger Bowl, you will witness a local skiing population that does precisely what Heckbert mocks.

Large numbers of skiers at those resorts ski inbounds with exactly that equipment, know how to use it, and teach their children how to use it or else put some limits on where their children ski.

If these teens had been skiing with an adult, is it as likely that hiking uphill access terrain behind a closed upper gate would have occurred? Probably not. Although based on the adults around here, that's entirely supposition. Vail Mountain is not a 5,300-acre babysitter where parents get to drop the kids off and pretend nothing bad can ever happen. Nor is Beaver Creek. Nor is anywhere else, for that matter.

While Heckbert may have succeeded in convincing Judge Murphy of his interpretation of the letter of the law, he has unfortunately also succeeded in trashing the spirit of the law. The Skier Safety Act is clearly about personal responsibility for one's own actions and institutional acknowledgement that not all risk is fully controllable.

If this incident eventually succeeds with a useful community discourse and produces a population that is aware of inbounds avy risk, it will certainly be a positive outcome. If the only consequences are miles of additional rope lines and the scapegoating of a hard-working ski patrol to win another lawsuit against a deep-pocket resort corporation, I wouldn't say we should all feel good. Vail patrol may be many things, but they are not negligent.

When that inherently uncontrollable bit pops up and rears its ugly head, it doesn't feel that great to be targeted by litigation-happy attorneys and a general public unwilling to admit a big mountain might not always and everywhere be safe.

Even if the upper gate had been opened and some bombs were thrown, that doesn't mean this tragic accident would have been impossible. Fully “controlled” slopes will still slide from time-to-time on real-world mountains, apparently just not in Colorado's courts.

Bill Hoblitzell

Minturn


_______________

** So precious, in fact, that the parents assumed The Mountain would babysit their child despite obvious dangers that cannot be avoided. Never teach your child self-reliance, Pwoggy. That shit is for reactionaries.

Monday, January 7, 2013

fizz icks

If you want to be mistaken for an Intellectual Heavyweight in 2013, cite "physics" often, and accuse your adversary of "ignoring physics."

It doesn't matter if you don't know Jack Shit about physics. By referencing the subject, you "prove" you are brilliant, and your adversary dullwitted.

sehr gut

The Pink Poobah of the Pink Chipmunk Playpen has reinvigorated his hydra-headed approach to pretending at having a thriving commentary at his blog. 5 separate identities created for a comment thread. What a brilliant idea. What a way to relieve boredom.

Best is when Poobah visits here to comment either as "Anonymous" or "Paul Behrer" and gets all 4th grader gay boy snarky with me!

"You reactionaries have plagued me since my first woody when looking at a male classmate! I will tear down your blog like I tore down the South when I inhabited WTSherman and Gepetto'd his March through the Reactionary South!"

tho thweet it tweets!

I was just standing outside in my backyard. I saw a cluster of birds fly by --probably 8 or 9 of them-- and they looked like white birds against the thick trees on the mountain opposite my back door. When they kept flying and went past the trees, and were backgrounded by the snowy hillside, they looked black.

interpersonal skills

Thanks to many on the interwebtoobz, and in corporal personal space, I have learned some fine skills on interaction with others. They have served me well, apparently, because at this point in my life I am quite satisfied with my present situation and outlook.

I am so satisfied with it, in fact, that I can come across as arrogant and smug.

But please don't confuse the statuses. I'm not arrogant and not smug. I'm happy with who, what, where and how I am. And when I got there.

And it's all because of this little trick I learned from a few friends.

The trick is simple, but it requires a few sequential steps.

First -- when you meet someone for the first time, do not look for what you have in common with that person. Do not talk to him/her with the aim of learning what you may share in outlook or experience, and do not consider what interesting or novel ideas or experiences he/she might be able to tell you about. Instead, look for reasons to oppose that person. Find reasons to criticize him/her. Consider the ways in which you are different, and exaggerate the differences until you feel the steam rising in the cranial teapot.

Second -- based on the differences you perceive, categorize him/her with a negative descriptor. Choose a negative descriptor that makes you feel existentially pained, as if to say this: this person is ____________, and I know that ______________ people mean to do me and my friends and my family harm, if only they get The Power. Latch onto the negative descriptor and do not let anything dissuade you from its application. Equate the person and the descriptor sufficiently enough and thoroughly enough that the person essentially loses all individuality (in your eyes, that is) and is subsumed by the negative category.

Third -- Once you have found the person and the negative descriptor/category to be essentially identical, always consider whatever that person says or does to be evidence of the descriptor/category's clearly life-threatening character, its overwhelming existential negativity. Never consider that you might have erred in your appraisals. Never consider that if you, too, were appraised in this way, people would treat you dismissively, negatively, with fear/concern/anxiety.

You have now become an interpersonal success.

Congratulations.

Friday, January 4, 2013

Nahm D. Ploom

The free-floating Feminist Mind, our culture's last durable bulwark against Reactionary Thought, is found under many different handles when one traverses the Toobz.

We have seen it masquerading as a fake Turk.

We have seen it hiding behind the disguise of a bent piece of pig iron.

We have seen it get Sybillean in its MPD, pretending to be a throng of pinko chipmunks who favor economists, labor union theorists, and upper-middle-class lifestyle accoutrements.

We have seen the encultured and refined version playing under a Crystal Chandelier where plants are worshiped unless they are orchids, which look like those ugly vagina-things that don't belong under the Crystal Chandelier when it comes to answering the call of Procreation.

****************

The free-floating Feminist Mind is the most powerful tool we have for cultural dissection. FM can find Rape everywhere it looks. FM can find The Patriarchy playing ugly powerbroker games wherever there's an XY chromosomal diploid on display.

FM is a precise surgical tool.

A microtome, guided by computer program, operated by joysticks and button pads.

FM makes it easy.

FM says, "Was a man involved? Then the Patriarchy was at work. Was there a man on the scene? Then rape was happening."

****************

Fat and ugly women like to think it's The Patriarchy that leaves them without a cock to put into their little gash. Snap to attention, FM logic! It's the Patriarchy that demands non-fat women who are physically attractive, and when neofeminist Frieda is horny and goes trolling for guys at some Meat Market bar in her town, but comes home empty-puss'd, it's because the Patriarchy sets artificial standards that are impossible for any woman to uphold.

It's never because Frieda insists that her Dream Man be comprised of an impossible constellation of qualities that are found together in only 0.00000000000000001% of all male human beings.

Nope.

It's because of the Patriarchy.

How do I know this?

I asked Jack Crow, I asked Cuneyt, I asked Michael J Smith, I asked Owen Paine, I asked Charlie Davis, I asked Michael Dawson, I asked Louis Proyect, I asked PZ Myers, I asked Medea Benjamin, I asked Jodie Moore, I asked every reputable Internet Expert on Feminism -- and their reply was unanimous.

If you have a penis, and you're not gay, then you're a misogynist rapist reactionary.

It's just that simple.

WAAAAAAAAY more feminist than YOU, broheem.



"I learned how to put nonsense jargon into a sentence that sounds syntactically correct, therefore I know what I'm talking about and should be upheld as the world's great thinker on how feminists are victimized, and how they put their lives on the line every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every week of every year, to stop the horrible reactionaries who want to implement rape culture."

--PZ Myers

Here's a classic PowerNoggin douchenozzle Moar Femmaniss then Yew, Broh! kinda metrosexual fop who thinks himself the saviour of the world's collective intellect. Ladies and gentlemen, hawks and doves, donkeys and elephants, I present to you

The King of the Internet!

moar feminitht then yew

I don't know jack shit about how the law works, but if I really mis-read things, I can be offended on behalf of women and see rape everywhere and whinge about how we are in a Rape Culture.

If your life is so comfy you must go looking for a way to vicariously be a victim, you're a putz, a douche, a phony little aggrandizer.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

gaffer


a boo and a boo and a

...boo hoo hoo.

Jewish influence in our congress has intimidated our representatives and simple stupidity has allowed us to be drawn into a Middle East debacle which has drained our resources to the point of economic decline if not disaster.

Please describe the mechanism of intimidation.

Please show how the Noble Congresspeople are bent to do that which they aren't inclined to do already.

Please show this.

Please cling to the idea that there's always someone strong-arming the Nobly Intended Representative Of The People and forcing that NIROTP to do what he or she really despises, because of "intimidation" tactics that force his/her hand to work an unclean agenda.

Please show how you have estimated the Purity of your chosen NIROTP.

Please do this for me, as I am ignorant of these elusive, ethereal constructs. They fly over my head because I am not possessed of a Rare Parchment from an Esteemed Institution, and I lack that proof of wisdom for the obvious reason that I am quite stupid, very closed-minded, and completely non-teachable.

But please, make the effort anyway.

bird cannot fly with only one wing

The Constitution was never meant to be a cast-iron straightjacket. READ the Bill of Rights for God's sake. Read the 10th Amendment. It says there that we the people are free to discover new rights from time to time. The Constitution is a floor (below which we're not allowed to sink) not a ceiling (through which we are not allowed to climb). The only folks who can't see that are jerks like Seidman who don't WANT to see it.

Not sure what Amendments 1-10 do toward proving this "straitjacket changes from time to time" theme. They don't get anywhere near relevant to that theme.

What did you do, steal this idea from someone you "respect"?

Floor vs ceiling?

No. Not even close.

Poor metaphor. You consider yourself a builder? An architect? That's why the house metaphor?

The Constitution is a fucking set of rules designed to be implemented by interpretive impulse, with a grounding in statism and plutocracy and a definite aim toward minimizing individual citizen power.

Maybe if you knew a little more about the Articles of Confederation and the Declaration of Independence and what happened between 1776 and 1789, you would see that your Worship Of The Constitution As Noble Floor That Is Also A Changeable Straitjacket is a ridiculous mishmash of misunderstandings sold through awkward, tail-chasing metaphors.

Another thing to think about: If you rip up our Constitution and throw it out, there's always a chance you'll get something much worse in its place. The clowns who built the Tea Party get to vote, too. What kind of a new Constitution do you suppose Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck will help the Congress write? What kind of delegates do you think the Tea Party will send to the new constitutional convention?

That's right. It's always binary.

Constitution-centric Statism.

or

Murderous Teabagger Reactionary Gun Nuts Killing Your Dad And Raping Your Wife And Daughters.

Thanks for showing us your Pwoggy Impulse. Does your Hallowed Constitution provide a schematic for how to eliminate those horrible Tea Bagging John Birching Obama Nationality Questioning Womens Uterus Snooping Reactionary Misogynists?

There may have been plenty wrong with our Founding Fathers: I will not dispute that. But they were thinkers to a man. They were humanists. They meant the best for us, always expecting that we would be smart enough to take care of ourselves when the time came. Seidman is full of shit. God save the rest of us. Send Seidman to Israel. He'll be happier there.

Belief, not reality. What you wish, not what is.

Worship the State, for it is the State that brought us into Being.

By the way, Smart Person -- how is your view so different from that of an Israelophile?  Israel worships central state power over the individual no matter whether citizen or imagined foe.  How is your position different?

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

baila, mi hermana... baila para mi!

Dance my little puppets.

Dance.

All someone has to do for you to bust out your White Guy Doing MC Hammer Poorly moves is joke about something you find terribly, horribly, frilly-blousedly serious.

Gay men can't be joked about.  They're totally off-limits where mockery and humor are concerned.  Ain't couth, Bruthe.

Women who fuck without protection and then kill the fetus because pregnancy is inconvenient, they can't be implicated in any crimes against living beings, because some fucktard phony blogger declared ain't no baby, son, less'n she squeezes that pup out her puss, 'n' afore that'n, Cletus, shit's a tumor.  Some bent piece of pig iron says so.

So kwitcherjoshin' yew fukkin rackshinerry.

Oh my goshington!  We must eradicate this reactionary! 

abnmpieagi

avbm[bjheqq;j ba;k;uqe9-=.

yjlp]e[touedg2.

UPDATE:

mb[]8[op-jg819ujhqop].