Sunday, May 5, 2013

I'm a trash-bin

I'm a nut

I'm a yahoo

I'm a murderer

I'm a bigot

I'm a rapist

I'm a misogynist

I'm a reactionary

I'm a conservative

So why isn't Corey Robin picking me apart?

Because I'm also the prime minister of Israel, and so when I act like a pile of trash, a nut, a yahoo,

and I murder, rape and destroy those whom I hate with a bigoted heart

because I react first, and offer excuses later

I'm not at all like Edmund Burke

he wasn't ever the PM of the middle east's beacon of democracy

he wasn't ever an active-duty murderer for that beacon's state death squads


he wasn't Jewish.


So, when I feel it's time to prove my short stature, rotten-flesh-breath, immense arrogance, and perpetually powerful paranoia aren't stumbling blocks to global destruction occurring at my whimsical command,

I'm gonna attack Syria again.

And I can trust friends like Corey Robin to point fingers anywhere but at me, my motives, and those who endorse my destructive acts.


Paul Behrer said...

I can also count on my staunch ally, Noam Chomsky, to blame American reactionary currents that trace back to Bush-Cheney and Bush-Quayle and Reagan-Bush and Nixon-Johnson and Eisenhower-Nixon. Professor Chomsky is one of my most valuable partners in global deception, and I hope we can advance medical technology quickly between now and his normally-slated decline of health, so that he may remain alive forever, just like Mr House in Fallout: New Vegas, which incidentally is my preferred template for how I want to leave the Earth as my legacy.


Your Pal Stumpy, the Hateful and Bigoted Death Merchant

Paul Behrer said...

Congratulations, zuckbuckers.

In only 15 hours you have made this post the all-time highest-hits post ever at this blog.

Maybe Marky Mark and Trash-Binny will dispatch some Shin Betties to off me when I'm out on my bike in the woods some time.

Paul Behrer said...

Say "you're it," Mack Tahl.

Say it.