Monday, May 20, 2013

success / shun

Friends, countrymen, distinguished visitors, and noble scholars of life -- your existential thorn-in-the-paw, Paul Behrer, has departed for calmer and emptier spaces.

I am taking up the mantle with a healthy renewal of vigorous literacy.  Please visit me here.


Tuesday, May 7, 2013

actually, no. THIS is sad.

That "progressives" and "leftists"

...think themselves holistic and loving, but look for every opportunity to hate on "crackers" or "reactionaries" or "bigots".

Divide, not unite.  Blame, not problem-solve. of how destructive is religion, how distortive is its magical thinking, but only with respect to Christianity or Islam or LDS variants, while praising with their silence all Judaica followers.

Divide, not unite.  Excuse, with blind eye and silent tongue.

...demand that all straight men must own up to The Rapist Tendency of All Hetero Males, but ignore gay men who commit rape, women who commit rape.

Divide, not unite.  Confuse, not clarify.

...say rape is a "crime and act of dominance and power," while ignoring the many ways to dominate others asexually.  The rape victim wasn't sexually battered, he or she was simply a victim of a hateful XY genome breeder's power display.

Confuse, not clarify.

...say a fetus isn't human, unless a pregnancy is desired, in which case it's not just genetically a future human but a fully-fledged BABY that is desired now and eagerly anticipated at full-gestation vaginal breeching time.  Because it's a woman's rightful prerogative, domain and decision to kill her babies and no law, no ethical posture, no moral stance can determine otherwise.  It's not a special case of non-murder legally ethically or morally, it's something we must do because there's so much misogyny in the patriarchy.

Lies, not honesty.


Of course none of this is absurd and all of it is fully real, completely honest, comprehensively enlightened, deeply informed.


For the last post here I will give you a few simple paragraphs of semi-transparent honesty.


I'm generally a kind hearted person who would prefer to get along with anyone who isn't actively and presently trying to do me some kind of harm.

It's not in my nature to seek division -- even though it is very much a natural thing for me to use sarcasm and satire to poke fun at others' hypocrisy, especially on subjects where the other pretends at some sort of World Sage or Summiteer of Mt Morality.

It seems the modern American would prefer to turtle-up, and from within the protective shell issue continually divisive rhetoric, blaming a straw-man-construct other, or group of others, for what looks distasteful or tacky on the American landscape -- and then, to take this little point of landscape gaucheness, and amplify it to a mortal present threat.

Thus we see and hear "leftists" and "progressives" and "liberals" treating the mere presence of a "christer" or "cracker" as some kind of existential threat that must be vanquished somehow, preferably with state power display done through actors who are not the complaining "leftist" or "progressive" or "liberal" him/herself, but a preferred authoritarian thug.

Is there insane rhetoric coming from some GOP members?  Many?  Most?  All of them?


How are those words hurting you?  And why do they compel you, leftist progressive liberal humanist, to double down on the hate rhetoric and think you're masking your hate, your bigotry, your prejudice because you happen to hate with passive aggression, with polite disparagement?  Why do you think your vomitus comprised of "redneck" or "reactionary" or "cracker" or "homophobe" or "misogynist" or "rape fantasist" is somehow holistic, humanistic, or indicative of your deep understanding of the human condition and all its challenges?

Why, good "leftist", are you such an incredible liar to yourself and others?


Now of course it has been said repeatedly that the author of this blog, in his/her/its various incarnations, is a misogynist bigot homophobe cracker christer redneck reactionary.

And of course it has repeatedly eluded the grasp of such "critics" that the blog has been written intentionally to appear that way as a mirror of what the blog author witnesses from "leftists" and from "progressives" and from "liberals" in daily life -- in "organizing" rhetoric, in "policy analysis" drivel, in "social criticism" at some Fancy outlet -- both in person and in etherworld.


Final cues and hints.

Mocking gays = reflection of gay, lesbian and PFLAG rhetoric toward anyone who doesn't speak exactly as desired for the 100% existential comfort of every single gay, lesbian, bisexual and/or transgender/transsexual human.  I see MORE hate from the non-breeders than I do from breeders.  Sorry, that's what I see.  And hear.  Y'all are some catty, whiny, overblown bitches.  And it's wearying -- to use a progressively polite passive-aggresive derogation.

Blasting Jews = reflection of the absurd, obnoxious exception carved by those who pretend all religion is bad.  Somehow Judaism has magical barriers around it which protect it from all the "magical thinking" or "God complex" or "delusional fantasy" objections raised by the leftist progressive liberal homophile.  In a word, it's disgusting.  Every motherfucking religion on the planet has its detractors, every single one.  Being anti-religion isn't enlightened, superior, etc.  And it's comical when you are anti-religion but approve silently of Judaism and Israel, while bitching keening wailing moaning about the theocratic cracker Christers in America.

Put simply, from where I sit, the leftist progressive is the biggest fucking liar and fraud in America, and is trying hardest to divide everyone.

From where I sit, it looks like the leftist progressive wants to round up all non-leftist, non-progressive people (identified as such by the Department of American Progress) and either exterminate them, or house them in some kind of SUPERMAX city-state of Correction where they'll be forced to utter an oath of sincerity about their adoption, belief in, and defense of The Progressive Agenda.

That's how it looks to me.

So if you're a leftist progressive and that really isn't your agenda, maybe you should look in the mirror.  Or go back and re-read your Internet Posts.  Or listen to the recordings of yourself in a fuming rant when you're meeting your pals for pints or port or pinot grigio.

You're not going to make this country a better place by spewing cruel, dismissive rhetoric with "clever" snarky labels.

And you're not showing any kind of holism, intelligence or humanism when you constantly seek division and derision.

The author of this blog (in all its variations over the past 10 years, under all kinds of different handles showing fictional characterizations inhabited by different stereotypes of American behavior) holds no hope that you, leftist progressive, will ever be the good human being you so delusionally believe yourself to be and so deceptively present yourself as being.

The author of this blog believes that you crave destruction, and that's why you value and protect and prolong your hypocritical lies and self-deceptions.

The author of this blog thinks YOU are the ones to be afraid of.  Not crackers, not christers, not misogynists, not homophobes.

YOU, the great deceivers.

You are the danger here.

And the only thing you need to do is gain some integrity.

Can you do it?

Can you move beyond sociopolitical early adolescence, and embody the wisdom you lack but presently believe yourself to exemplify?


With that question, I close the doors of authorship here on the Internet forever.

Good bye.

It's been fun making fun of you.

Monday, May 6, 2013

it's sad

I gotta tell you, there aren't many actresses whose mere appearance gets me more vasodilated than Jessica Biel.  So I watched, or tried to, the movie The Tall Man last night.

The first 10 mins has a reference to Kaslo, home of The Monster, so I thought I would stick with it.

But so many classically mockable pratfalls and miscues happened in the next 15 that I had to quit it.

I gotta tell you something else -- that people can be paid to write such poor scripts, and do such poor directing... it's right up there with calling Wee Glennie an expert lawyer or authority on civil rights.


Spirit of Joey fucking Weil.

noble vampire jews, part 666

Aeons ago, when I was a powerful white collar rhetorical gun for hire, I had the rare opportunity of working repeatedly for one of the world's largest insurance companies doing big research surveys for their prospective new insurance products.

I was not the originating partner, I was just the senior associate who oversaw the bustling detailed but hurried work of junior associates, contextualized their findings, helped them see subtleties, helped them learn how to be accomplished rhetorical guns for hire.

My employer (which wasn't the insurance company, but rather was a team of rhetorical guns for hire) was recognized nationally for this kind of work, and to be honest we were really fucking good at it.

Until along came a vampire, who created a company that competed directly with us, apparently angry that so many goyim could make money ethically, where he knew in his blood-sucking soul-less and empty heart that if he cut lots of corners and ignored legal and business ethics, he could steal business right out from under us.

His practice was to underbid. His profit came from employing know-nothing Fine Parchment Holders who lacked experience in the field but whose Parchments were Awfully Impressive.

Rather than being able to contextualize the research for each of the 53 jurisdictions we covered, Vampire Lord's outfit of fledgeling vampires would simply lie about practical landscape features in each of the jurisdictions.

Vampire Lord had no experience in the field of insurance regulation.

But he did have great experience in chiseling, confidence scamming, and other unethical business practices.

Like most vampires, he fabricated expertise with the indicia of accomplishment (fancy parchments) and the promise to do more, for less (chiseling, lying about results).

His pointy canine teeth and red-glowing eyes were not a hindrance to the insurance companies he sought to serve, given that insurance companies have a long history of gains made from assurances made to others, though less in a vampiric sense and more in an Emperor's New Finery sense.


After my employer lost a couple of pieces of work to the Vampire Lord, the insurance company I'm speaking of here eventually came back to my employer. It did so because it learned the Vampire Lord's work product was sub-standard, and the illusion of more-for-less was found to be a hologram.

While there was some ethical redemption in the return of business, Vampire Lord's tactics were arriving on the cusp of a New Business Model in America. Namely, a more patent form of fleecing. Lying confidence scams were coming out of the closet.


I don't know why I thought of Vampire Lord this morning, but I did, and I researched what he's up to now.

I found funniest of all.

It reminded me of a South Orange NJ lawyer named William J Gold, who was the most unethical fuckstick I've ever encountered. Goldilocks was on the Attorney Ethics panel for the Essex County Bar.

Funny, it is, this continual linkage of pseudo-ethics and the noble exception to RELIGION IS BAD.

Funny like a heart-collapsing infarction.

stuff pasty white non-athletes LOVE

Dude those constant kickouts that achieve nothing but interruption of your (potential, as yet unrealized) smoothness, and which make you look like an even bigger hack than the rest of the time when you're not kicking out the rear wheel?


You confuse showy pointlessness, and smooth skill.

The former is you. The latter isn't.

aaaaaaah hah hah hah hah hah!

I'm really very sorry that you don't understand.

Seriously, it's a deep pity.

Sunday, May 5, 2013

nope. not excessive. more like proper, perfect, exactly suitable.

Whenever you consider what it's worth to gather information without consent, further conglomerate and organize it still without consent or other prior notice, and then ultimately resell it to numerous high bidders again without your knowledge, consent or especially your cut of the profit pie,

and you consider what it's worth to have a MacGuffin nation in a geopolitically strategic centerpoint, with MacGuffin participating heavily in the techno-espionage, money-for-nothing Talmudically Holy Business Strategy both independently and as local made-men outpost for The Don,

it is completely expected, totally understandable, and not the least bit surprising to find your brand new business offices are more garish, spendthrift and excessive than even the lowest-born, tackiest redneck breeder's nouveau riche McMansion:

Shlomo & Shmuel's Surf Shop, a theme room

The Tzipi Livni Penthouse Suite

Interior Design by Yonatan Lamprey

Every tenant's child named Ahuv/Ahuva gets one of these

"Understatement is the Tel Aviv way," said publicist Hadar Ben-Gurion

You want to know why the American economy is titties-up for 98% of Americans now?

Because it's not a participatory economy.  It's a vampire economy.

Welcome to Nosferatu's Castle.

Admission fee, 5 quarts blood, payable immediately.

In exchange, a soul-less eternal life in the 2d most expensive city in the "middle east", found within the region's Beacon of Democracy.

This isn't some hipster teenage romance show on TeeVee nor some pulpy lonely woman paperback series of theme novels.

This is reality, motherfucker.

This is blood-sucking, body-shriveling feasting on others.

And Talmudically speaking, it's precisely what a human should aspire to.


When people read my blog and are "turned off" by the crass, coarse, crude vulgarity of it, is that what prevents them from giving me credit for the ideas they read here, ideas they steal for their own re-selling, and then treat as a platform for their own narcissistic promotion of self as idea-generator and theme-analyst?

You tell me, bro.


Here's me.

Here's the MICHAEL.

Three things you should observe.

1) It took him 6 months to absorb my observations and inflate (expand, with hot air) those observations into his typical Log Lady Lollygagging prose.

2) He blames everyone else for harboring the religious beliefs that actually are his.

3) He needs 3 separate windbaggy entries to completely distract his readers' attention away from his own progress-worship, and to build a theme that suggests it's cultural, and both external and foreign to himself.


Doubtless if I wrote more like Sprytel J Chimchim, Our Constitutional Lawyer, The Ski-Chomping Gnome, or Phil Rockstroh our buddy the Arch FUCKING Druid would have considered telling his readers where the idea came from.

No, not really.

Because if he cited me he'd have to show that I accused him of being a font of the religion he says is external to himself.


Pink Chipmunks, Log Ladies, kulturCritics, Crowbars -- all stealing my ideas, copying them and then re-formatting them as their own.


Who pretend they're your betters, intellectually and ethically.


Shrieking, keening, wailing howler of a joke, it is.


Remember, never say where you get an idea if the attribution would deflate your Goodyear Blimp of an ego, or it would embarrass you to say that you read such a vulgar, ribald, salacious, vicious, wicked writer who confuses you because you can't figure out where he's serious and where he's mocking you or your friends or your heroes -- in other words, because you're too fucking stupid (despite that Goodyear Blimp ego and the hugely puffed-up Internet Image of You) and can't really admit that stupidity publicly.

Nice work.

I'm a trash-bin

I'm a nut

I'm a yahoo

I'm a murderer

I'm a bigot

I'm a rapist

I'm a misogynist

I'm a reactionary

I'm a conservative

So why isn't Corey Robin picking me apart?

Because I'm also the prime minister of Israel, and so when I act like a pile of trash, a nut, a yahoo,

and I murder, rape and destroy those whom I hate with a bigoted heart

because I react first, and offer excuses later

I'm not at all like Edmund Burke

he wasn't ever the PM of the middle east's beacon of democracy

he wasn't ever an active-duty murderer for that beacon's state death squads


he wasn't Jewish.


So, when I feel it's time to prove my short stature, rotten-flesh-breath, immense arrogance, and perpetually powerful paranoia aren't stumbling blocks to global destruction occurring at my whimsical command,

I'm gonna attack Syria again.

And I can trust friends like Corey Robin to point fingers anywhere but at me, my motives, and those who endorse my destructive acts.

trot line with treble hooks

chicken necks and cheese balls on the hooks


I'm amused by the Bell & Howell visitors I get who are riding on the merry-go-round pony of "here's your M.O., you are friendly to someone until they break your purity sense, blah blah blah, you're a rapist misogynist bigot pretending to be a leftist anarchist empathizer with Noble Gay Feminists but you secretly hate them."


Maybe it should occur to you, lame and hobbling along troller of the benthic zone for slime-covered trash fish, that your imagination is yours and not mine, and that I choose to write whatever the fuck-all I want to write, and I can pretend to "admire" anyone I choose.

Maybe you might get how satire works, in all of its variants.

So many ways to mock. 


Get out your kleenex, sad gay feminist empathist, because I'm about to make you cry.


Pretty sure it's true that I don't have "e-friends" and never did, and anyone who sadly believed that their listing on my (former) blogroll meant "the kind" or "friendship," that's some serious naivete, along the lines of First Black President Took Us Past Racism & Taught Evil Redneck Rethuglican Reactionaries How To Love Blacks.

Or along the lines of Civil Rights Act of 1965 is what made America great, and it's legislation and regulation that change people's hearts and minds.


You ignorant fucks who think The TOOBZ is where REAL CHANGE BEGINS are comical as fuck.

No, no way NSA and other entities ever could work psy-ops on you with pseudo-revolutionary, pseudo-dissident, fake-leftist, artificial-humanist rhetoric or full-fledged websites.

No, no way Occupy: Terre Haute was co-opted from the start.  IT WAS AGAINST THE 1%ers, BRO!  THAT WAS ITS SLOGAN SO THEREFORE IT'S TRUE.


So, keep searching the "archives" here to see how I "used to be friendly" to some small segment of the Toobz that pretends at dissection of existing power structures while reinforcing those structures by knee-jerk accusing me of rape fantasies and misogyny.

Kudos on your fantasies, bro.


And all that.

I lie, so you don't have to

My name?

Fake Henry James, of course!

See me swishily sashaying around, mincing on the fine Persian rugs that lay atop my polished mahogany flooring?

That's right, enslaved PowerNoggin Pwoggy readers, I'm a cultured and fancy gay man who loves cock & ass when not loving exquisite aromatic brandies, rare glassware, top-shelf kale recipes, verdant and colorful photos of flowers that give me a hard-on, and of course, CATS.

Better than those uncouth, knuckle-dragging, vagina-liking, reactionary, inbred, misogynistic, bigoted, homophobic, Evil Rethuglican, corporate, hate-fueled BREEDER IDIOT MEN WHO WON'T FUCK ME.

I have some news for you, adoring homophilic reader.

I am a wise economist, and though I was proud to see ObamaCare passed because it moved us melioristically closer to Medicare-For-All, I am now going to show you how Evil Rethuglican Breeder Reactionary Misogynist Hatemongers are using their Corporate Rethuglican-ness to make ObamaCare hateful toward gays and women.

I pretend to see massive differences in cost, structure, and dirty profiteering when I compare ObamaCare to my valhalla'd Medicare-For-All wish.

I pretend to see them because I pretend to be an economist.

(and I pretend "economics" isn't a shell game or Modern Alchemy)

I pretend to see them because I pretend that now, as opposed to 2012 or 2008, I do not love Obama and don't want his cock in my ass or mouth.

Even though in 2012 and 2008, I had many Mandingo fantasies about Obama-as-gay-lover-of-Fake-Henry-James (luvs me some big black cock, bro!).

So hear me now, feminist gay readers of my gay feminist economics thinking.

I've never lied to you, and when I pretend I've changed position on something, I'm actually just riding a pink surfboard on a fuschia wave that breaks left on a gay naked beach.

In a hologram.

Where, as you know, I am the Fake Henry James.

And where, as you clearly know, you worship me because I'm a gay economist with an eye for The Fancy and an ear for How To Blame Evil Rethuglicans And Corporate While Ignoring What My Gay Leftist Heroes Do.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

you're mean, gene

So tasteless and unclean.

Reminds me of Ween.

Binge on obscene.

Feel ultramarine.

You have no tact.

Do naught but react.

It's a cold hard fact.


No humor found

comedy unwound

cleverness underground.

Tasteless and vulgar,

your wheat ain't bulgur.

Stale bread.

Empty head.


The Pope of Hate, firing on all eight, timing ain't late.

Killed a crow, snorted the blow, stole the show.


All men rape, no guilt escape,

'cept gays on the cape

Who touch your nape

drink a bota of grape.

Serious, no jape.


These rhymes is juve-y.

But your style is smoove-y.

We think you're groovy

like a feminist movie.

Burning Bed, learning head, earning dread.

Eat my lead.

Your trope is dead.


Deadline late? Just imitate!

PC is great

hive-mind elate!

breeder = hate

in the Gay City-State.


I'm a poetaster.

A literary disaster.

Self-appointed master.

Aspersion caster.


Lock 'n' load.

Kick that choad.

Hit the road.

Twink a la mode.

fake Tom Joad.

I'm thinking

...of retitling this blog and reframing its focus.

Maybe call it Belly Howl, play on Bell & Howell, play on projector, pointing at psychological projection.

As in,

"When I see something on the American landscape I don't like, I project my fears onto that thing, and blame the people I imagine responsible for my fears, blame them for the thing I'm not liking when I look at the landscape.

"No, no.  I'm not at all shallow and I have no blind spots.  These really ARE the biggest problems on the landscape, and the culprits I imagine and blame, they really ARE the cause.

"No, I'm not being distracted and gulled by the experts I trust.  I went to a fine parchment factory where I learned precision hairsplitting.  Thus, whatever I imagine, it must be true.  My parchment suggests it.

"No, I'm not the least bit holistic, even though I pretend mightily toward an enlightened leftist progressive fellow-human-loving holism.  Those enemies I see on the landscape, I don't have to love them as fellow humans.  They're not really human.

"I know this because they disagree with me.  Or is it that I disagree with them, violently, and imagine they disagree violently with me, sufficiently to try to rape my daughter and wife and mother, and kill my father.

"Yes.  That's it.

"Perfect.  We've got the projector focused now.

"Let's start the show."


took my iron ingot, worked it at the forge

Turned my preppy self from generations of WASPs into a "radical" who swears he kicked in heads for being teased about his "poverty" when young.

I am noble.

You are not.

Unless you agree with me.

In which case, you --like me-- are a genius.

Blogs are great forges for smithing an identity.

That's what Omar said.

He's from Wales.

His epidermal tone is somewhat brown.

nice work, psychojews!

Way to feed on that epochal paranoia that is due to "anti-Semitism" and not your fucking parasitic, make-money-off-others-gullibility approach to life, which turns off many and makes them resentful when they realize you ripped them off, but you're fat & happy with a thicker wallet as a result so their dissatisfaction is "just business, nothing personal."

Way to take that fucked-up view of How To Treat Your Fellow Human -- As A Profit Vector!, and hold yourself and your tribe utterly blameless and everyone who thinks marginally different from you COMPLETELY CULPABLE and not only that, worthy of receiving your rectifying military violence which teaches them to not be "anti-Semitic" any more.

It's terrific.  Now "anti-Semitic" means "won't let a greedy Jewish fuck have whatever he wants."

Ideologically, rhetorically, or materially/monetarily, doesn't matter.

A Jew is thwarted?


Fucking paranoid fucks.


Never mind, there's a Christer over there, an obvious Cracker, whom I heard saying he wants public schools to offer creationist thought during biology class.

That is the REAL problem right there.  Someone who has a different view from me, and wants others to realize the different view exists.

No, I don't see the hypocrisy.  And anyway, I'm immune.

I'm a Noble Jew.

Please consult my mentor, Noam Chomsky, if you need further elucidation.

Thank you.


We're just preventing others from trying to wipe us off the map.

If you criticize us, you're an anti-Semite trying to help those other anti-Semites wipe us off the map.


...what you're tired of is the scapegoating, the blaming of 0.0003% of the populace for the things your "leftist progressive" perspective endorses and approves and blames on "crackers."

I'd be tired too, if every time I saw something that offended my Leftist Persona I found a "cracker" to blame it on.

Maybe eventually I'd grow up, politically speaking.  But now, I'm happy being a petulant 15 year old who's tired of his dad telling him what to do, politically speaking.

Friday, May 3, 2013

since I used to rape, maim and kill for pay and honor, I am suited to accusing all men of rape

My name?

Stan Goff.

I wonder how Reformed Rapist and Murderer for MoBroSam comes by his conclusions.

"Hey, if I pretend that I'm a woman, and that I fear rape at every turn, I can then extrapolate that the fear comes from generic fear of men, because of their generic tendency to rape, and I can say their generic tendency to rape comes from their generic tendency to use subjective standards on consent to sex."

"I can ignore that women often are so fucked up psychologically as to say no when they actually mean, if you're a real man you'll know I mean yes and you'll take what you want, and it will make me even HOTTER than I was before, while you were pondering asking for permission, which tends to turn me off and make me utter emasculating, soul-crushing observations about your inability to please a woman like a real man would."


(staying in-character as Noble Gough)

The more I do these things, the more I assuage my guilt for having raped quite a few women and girls myself during my 3 trimesters of life: pre-Army, active-Army and post-Army.

I have aborted my pre-Army and active-Army gestating self-concept.  It was nothing more than a blob of tumorous tissue anyway.

Now that I've destroyed the offending invasive construct that made me a (former) rapist-for-pleasure-and-pay, I'm a noble feminist.

And I'm in a perfect position to tell YOU, XY genome person, that YOU are a rapist because of your XY genome and your shameful breeder sexuality.

If you were gay, you'd be exculpated because gay men never commit rape.**


Because lots of women nervously check the rear compartment of their motor vehicle when they open the door, it's YOUR fault, hetero male.


Even if you've never harmed a woman or girl in your entire life.

Even then.  Even then it's YOUR fault.

Because you didn't harangue, harass, and habitually morally browbeat every single hetero man you know, to shame him into admitting he rapes, or desires raping, every single woman or girl he sees.

I know this, because I used to rape the fuck out of everything female I laid my eyes on and dick into.

I am Stan Goff.

And you have my word on it.


** Except when they do.  Which doesn't count, unless they rape a woman.  Which they don't.  So, as I said -- doesn't count.

your main entry is a narcissistic onanism, and my comment afterward is me being pseudo-scholarly


So this week's entry supposedly is about "the shape of time."

Nifty of MICHAEL to choose something that is a vague construct initially (time) so that he may wax his carrot, polish his flagpole, goose his rooster, rub his rocket, stroke his beanstalk, spank his monkey, toss his salad, sand his dowel with "interpretations" and "elucidations" of what is the "shape of time."

Holy lack of lubricant, what a bloody jerkoff!


As always, 10,000 words to say what I can in 3: time is ethereal.

As always, each commenter takes the opportunity to play at The Devoted Pedant. Take this one, for example:

Anselmo seems to be confusing two native groups involved with the Vikings. This confusion is understandable because this is the way the story is written by European/American historians who don't understand the far north social dynamics of the time.

The first natives that the Vikings ran into were the Dorset. They called them something like "Skraeling". They were the people of the Canadian/Alaskan far north before the arrival of the Eskimo. The Eskimo were much more aggressive than the Dorset, and supplanted them except for small cul de sacs, until the remnants were eventually done in by European disease much much later. The Viking/Greenland inhabitation occurs during the time of this change.

Given that the Dorset were conditioned to a Northern climate, and still lost out to the Eskimo, it seems rather unlikely a small group of Norwegians/Danes could have done better.

It doesn't mean that the Norwegians weren't pigheaded and stubborn, it means that the cultural suite needed to thrive in a competitive environment is a complex mix that is not easily imitated. A group as tiny as the Norwegians would have had better luck trying to join the Eskimo (unlikely) than imitating them.

I hate to tell you this, because it's gonna make your face flush red with embarrassment, but...


All you did was jerk off using a Viking technique to get yourself warm, a Dorset technique to near orgasm, and then an Eskimo technique to shoot your load.

Why don't you try doing that in private next time?

I realize we're now in the Open Sexuality Era, where you're supposed to have group sex and film it, then post it on an AmaPorn website to feel like your generation's Hedgehog, but honestly -- if I wanted to wade through a swamp of puddled semen and "glowing" post-orgasm masturbators, that's what I would seek directly.

(NB: uh, no, I wouldn't be seeking it directly)

I wouldn't expect to run into it at a website that pretends to be discussing the Green Wizard's Druidic Approach to American Cultural Inequities.

I didn't think visiting THE MOTHERFUCKING ARCH-DRUID, MOTHERFUCKER! would be the same as watching the gay sex club scenes in Gaspar Noe's Irreversible.

Maybe that's my lesson for the day. "Arch-Druid" is a synonym for "host of Masturbate Theatre."


** Except, perhaps, as inspiration for The Esteemed Professor Corey Robin, or the exalted web-sage Jack Crow.

little toe full of talent

more in her little toe than in your entire body measured across your whole life

you ain't hip if you ain't got one

"Trail dog."

Yeah, they are the "best riding partners" that you can destroy by taking them on rides.

Having a "trail dog" should be seen as animal cruelty, but wait -- it's so fucking rad to have a GoPro of a dog "shredding".

"No, you asswipe.  The dog ENJOYS it.  You can tell."

Yes, you can tell when at age 5, after 4 years of Trail Dogging, its hips are blown out.

No matter.  Just a simple dog.  You'll get another.  Shoot this one, get another.



It's really cool how "trail dogs" are now the Hot New Thing among Fad Following Hipsters. 

There are very few MTB trails in my town that are dog-legal and also dog-friendly.

That doesn't stop the Fad Following Hipsters from taking their "trail dogs" and GoPro cameras out on every fucking trail we have.



When last I encountered some Fad Following Hipsters on a trail where dogs are expressly prohibited, I asked them to please not bring the dog on that trail, because their action creates big negative impressions on the significant chunk of my town's residents who hate MTBs with a passion. 

"Oh didn't see the sign anywhere, they're illegal?"

There's only very obvious signs at each end of this particular trail.  Very obvious ones.

Also the Fad Following Hipsters use the new Hipster Code -- descender's right of way!  They came careening sloppily toward me, expecting me to get out of the steep climbing trail way for them, and when I didn't, they just rode in some new lines.

"Maybe try staying on trail next time?", I observed gently.

But he was too busy torturing his dog so that he could have hot rad new GoPro footy for an "edit" he would put on zuckbuck, stinkbike or Tee Gee Are.

Thursday, May 2, 2013

bwaaaaaah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah hah

Here you may find an invitation to slip into that white canvas jacket with the extra-extra-long sleeves and assorted buckle-down fasteners.

"Chemtrails are different from contrails.  Clearly you're an apologist for chemtrails."

Ah yes.

Diesel exhaust is different from gasoline exhaust.  Jet exhaust is different from diesel exhaust.  Natgas exhaust is clear, yet still pollutant-laden.  Alcohol burnt by internal combustion leaves a nifty scent and no visible pollution.  Gasoline plus bean oil in a 2-stroke is perhaps the most chemtrail-y of all!

I'm absurdly paranoid, and I insist they are government mind control chemicals being sprayed.  And I wrote a novel!  About Priest Lake!  A place where many, many people see Black Helicopters spying on them routinely!


Never fear.  Tom Fee... oops, I mean "Bill Duke," will confirm that ICH publishes activist organizing material that is preparing Americans for the real revolution in social equity and power.

And if The Duker doesn't persuade you, maybe "stupidhuman" or "European_Dad" or "Fitzhenrymac" will do so.

bichon-friese humps legs

The awfully cuddly, perfumed and coiffed Fake Henry James pretends here that he's a science whiz, and the rest of the Econ Joey Weils commenting dance around ugly reality with things like Koch Bros Blaming, hockey stick curve interpretation, graphical obfuscation, pseudo-analysis, and most of all, meliorist humping of the legs of random Techno-Consumer Progress themes.

Soon, we'll all be drinking exquisite port from fine tiffany crystal goblets, watching opera on our iPhones from the privileged passenger compartment within the Bentley that Jeeves is driving to that hot new kale extravaganza restaurant.

That's as soon as we convince everyone that fertility (breeding) is the problem, because if those fucking heteros don't stop making pups, we noble gays can't keep being upscale consumerists with exquisite taste on display.

The Koch Bros are to blame.  Not our worship of The Fancy and our desire to prove ourselves superior with consumer display.


UPDATE! Now with Fake Henry James quote!

Lambert Strether says:
May 2, 2013 at 1:58 pm
“A phase change requires far more than just a 1 degree temperature change.” You mean that water doesn’t freeze (all other things being equal) at 32°F after being cooled from 33°F?

This is a word salad. Try harder.

Adding… I like the “baby killing” part. Reminds me of something… Anyhow, if you’ve got evidence, it would be useful to submit it.

Maybe if Fake Henry James did more than suck dudes' cocks and receive them in his arse, and actually spent time outside doing something besides mincing and sashaying between home front door and the open Bentley door Jeeves holds open for him,

he would realize that his "science" is pretty weak, inasmuch as I've seen it snow at 38 degrees almost as often as I've seen it snow at 32 deg or lower.

What a fucking bichon-friese bioaccessory he is.

true pleasure

...learning Chris Floyd is a left gatekeeper who bans you if you criticize the ideas left in a Floyd-follower's Donkey-praising/Rethug-hating commentary.

It's a buzz.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Ken Levine's okay with Judaism, but hates Xtianity

BioShock Infinite's story in a nutshell:

Alternative reality City in the Clouds, called "Columbia".

Founder of city = "war hero" (self-described, though actually previously a soldier) who is excellent at generating myths and destroying all who challenge the myths, sometimes by creating scapegoats to distract with false blame, other times by simply clamping down.

Founder's philosophy ---> City/State on Quasi-Theocratic format, hybrid of Xtianity and Founding Fathers worship. Here's where Levine trips over his own extra long rubber dildo sticking out of his arse. He's obviously afraid of Ron Paul and, as Crackhead Blowjob called them, "teap artiers" and so he's created a fantasy world where all negative developments on the present American landscape can be blamed on those people (Xtians, Teabaggers).

Just like Crackhead Blowjob, in fact!

Of course, nobody can or should ever create a video game that shows Israel analogs to be murderous thugs, or which suggests Judaism is anything less than utterly noble and perpetually uplifting. Nobody's done it so far, and apparently, given the money power lurking behind video gaming, probably nobody ever will. So 3 cheers for that, it's a mitzvah!


Clever how Levine hits on the MINOR themes at play in America today, but concludes completely wrongly about them.

I would remind Kenny that claiming Xtian Fidelity among bigwig politicos is a sort of secret handshake needed to keep various bogus Artificial Binaries alive, and that very few people really believe they have Divine Gift and Sanction.** 

Except Israelis.  And some (mostly Zionist) Jews.

Who, as I said, will not be mocked or criticized in a video game, ever.

In my lifetime.


Remember kiddies, religions are bad, Xtianity worst of all, and Special Exception carved out for Judaism due to its progressive qualities.


Speaking of "progressive," the most obvious theme Levine pits against the God-Boys In Charge is that of a sort of "blowback" from the end of the Civil War, a sub-theme where JW Booth is admired and Lincoln disparaged as The Devil, because of racism.

Those who work on behalf of, or with, the Black folks are all considered "progressive."

(code word for Jewish Activist)

(sometimes also called "leftist" in modern lingo, but not in BSI world)


I'm sure a lot of people think video games are nothing more than entertainment.  This idea is pretty naive, though.  Modern video games are more like movies in which you occasionally intervene to direct a minor action, or even more rarely get injected for the purpose of a "boss battle" that is symbolically huge in the overall game story line.

Most video games that involve combat dynamics or aspects repeat familiar themes.

USA = good.

Whatever bad exists in the USA, it's one or the other of these two notions: (1) redneck reactionaries who often are Christers; or (2) anarchists and other kinds of non- or anti-consumerist humans.

Kids playing these games are getting the same bullshit reinforced through video game playing as they get through attending one of America's Fine Public Schools of Exceptionalist Indoctrination and Capitalist Consumerist Construction.


One bonus I'll give to Levine is that he does suitably lampoon the God Squad's use of "anarchist" as scapegoat, with frequent references by The Prophet to a "dangerous anarchist" who allegedly killed The Prophet's wife.

Also, as you play through the character Booker DeWitt, the moment your activity becomes the foundation of the game's gunplay, frequent public announcements play over the soundtrack in which you are described as "The Anti-Prophet" and further, as a "dangerous anarchist."

That's kinda funny in a grim reality way.

But the big smear on Levine's story idea is the blaming of Christers and Ron Paul fans, which gives away Levine's "progressive" slant on life and his Judeo-Friendly take on what religions truly are to blame for America's current ills.

Grade:  2/5, for these reasons:

1) What's said above
2) Ripoff of Riven's hanging rail cars and other "steampunk" tech
3) Bogusness of a City in the Clouds which has lots of water despite complete disconnection from the Earth, including rolling shore waves at the Battleship Bay beach... WTF?
4) SHITTY, clunky combat mechanics and movement
5) TOO Obviously competing directly with Red Dead Redemption on the historic timeframe and the put-upon, confused protagonist who remains deadly with guns in theory, even if not in gameplay.


** Not even those who pretend they are "doing God's work" like Petraeus or Prince or Romney or whatever Reactionary Of The Moment you choose.

logan's run

You probably never heard of him, but this album has everything! Songs made by dude & his pals sitting around drinking and playing, dude being a dirt-eater like me, grease and oil under his fingernails, appearing to the world as an uncouth savage who knows nothing but brutalism, blood, death and destruction and probably several full helpings of misogyny because that's the mythology of the blue collar man, at best a Bad Boy desired for a fuck on the side away from Pale Limpdick Rich Achiever she's fastened onto for financial and social security.

Yeah, the myths usually are wrong. Even the "feminist" ones, even the "progressive" ones, even the "leftist" ones or the "anarchist" ones too.

Usually wrong.

Because each of us is an individual case, despite what your frame-of-reference interpretation of our appearance, our occasional rhetorical geysers of expurgation, or the subjects of our mockery suggest to you.

Yes, those things tell you all about every individual, because you're a fucking genius of psychology, of human typing, of personality appraisal.

Dirt eating motherfucker, that's right.

The sleeve/CD notes do a nice job of showing Logan & friends.

When I saw Pavement in Atlanta forever ago (1994?), at a small college near that Buckhead area, Logan and Kelly Keneipp were standing by the doorway into the college auditorium. Invisible. Nobody mobbing them, nobody even approaching them.

show it annoying 15 second ad intro, but the Official Video's images are creepy in their familiarity.

If it had street racing (John Milner style) it may have been 80% there.

For the last 20% it lacks puking on your own shoes because you weren't a football jock and so she laughed at your in-School Image (in her clique) of feckless dicklessness while knowing nothing of your actual athletic talents or your clever mind's ability to turn meanness into humor, and humor into cruelty. Turn it on yourself, get puking drunk, all over your Chucks.

You have to be hulking and a football star.

Or you have to be sulking and "in a band."

Or you have to be rich as fuck.

Or she'll laugh at you right to your face when you talk to her, and when behind your back will utter snipes of even greater cruelty.

Some day, you'll appreciate her feminine perspective.

But that day hasn't arrived.

bite on the fork tines, slowly withdraw fork

The metal abrasion is an impeller.

When we're too busy achieving to be a human.

it's all a matter of covering

no dude, I have a theory, and I am a fine, precise hairsplitter


you're burned



Who that ISN'T gay ever could have thought of this notion?

Naturally it isn't true until a GAY MAN says it's true.



Do you think it applies to Wee Glennie our OCL as well?


I also think this fits.

Straight or gay.