Thursday, April 11, 2013

I run from challenge

Why would I want to humble myself to something?  Where I am now relative to that thing is the apex of where anyone could be relative to that same thing.  There's no room for growth past me now.

I started college intending to be a math major.  An interesting choice for someone who got a D in Algebra 2 and a low C in geometry and got no further than either in HS.  Right?

You'd better believe that precalc kicked my ass.  Calculus itself ...well... I can't talk publicly about how small-brained it made me feel.

I had to make a decision.

And so I decided.

"Math" would be reformed in my image.  "Calculus" would be whatever I said it is.

If I wanted to set the problem as

(3x + 7(9y - 4z)) = Titanium

Please solve for z.

and then wanted to define the solution as

Titanal =/= Titanium, therefore what metal actually is used in sandwich skis?

I could do that.

If I can't do what others call "higher mathematics," then I will just bring it down to my level, and redefine it so that my level = "higher mathematics."

That's how we Grow the Math.

If someone can't do the upper functions, we eliminate the upper functions to make Math more welcoming.

Instead of,

Sorry, Virginia, but your F in Algebra means you have to retake the subject next year.  More practice is what I'd suggest, and don't be afraid to ask for some tutoring.

we get,

Well done, Virginia!  I know you tried your best.  Here's an A for effort.  You're great at Algebra!  You should major in Math when you get to university!

*******************

So it's natural that if I'm a mountain bike rider, I should want to Grow the Sport.  After all, all MTB riders are progressives.  We must always be progressing, or else we will be reactionary and that leads to voting Republican and hating gay marriage and heckling women who didn't get raped but still want to murder the fetus anyway.

So for the sake of gay marriage and promotion of feticide, we'll need to Grow the Sport of Mountain Biking.

And because some people who approach mountain biking may find it scary, we'll be sure that their perspective forms the template for how much challenge a trail should have.

If a natural trail has been ridden by countless mountain bikers for decades without fear, but a newly Grown Into The Sport rider finds the trail terrifying, then by all means we should flatten the trail bed and reduce the grade to reduce user self-image conflict and prevent erosion of user ego.

But let's not stop there.  Mountain biking is going mainstream, so we need to make its "image" an important consideration.

If we're not protecting the Newly Grown Into The Sport rider's confidence and ego with non-threatening trails, the sport will have a terrible image of "elitism" and "old boy secret stash networks", and that's bad for the sport.

It's so bad for the sport that it may cause the following things to happen, each of which is sure to destroy the sport --

_______________________

_______________________

_______________________

and, as if those weren't terrifying enough, there's

_______________________.

So as you can see, if we don't turn all existing MTB trails into something a Yuppie Mom can push her 2-abreast Baby Jogger on, without fear of a twisted ankle or the occasional whiff of deer urine,

the sport will die.

People will just stop riding bikes.  Everyone who rides a bike now, they'll stop.

Because the image became too "elitist."

And people were expected to --I know, I can't believe this either-- raise their game to the challenges a given trail presents.

How hateful toward people's egos things used to be.

How cruel.

I am quite glad that this Newly Grown Sport has improved its image and now welcomes people by showing that Mountain Bike Riding Doesn't Need to Include Actual Mountains.

And especially,

that just because we're mountain bike riding in the Rocky Mountains doesn't mean we have to have rocks in our trails!

2 comments:

Paul Behrer said...

http://youtu.be/0P3lhrwio-M

Paul Behrer said...

Fill the blanks with tasty NewGITS!