G. Rowan Payne - 76 years old, male, Upper West Side resident, reads Torah nightly, hates Palestinians, despises Islam. Changed name to something more WASPy before leaving for college. Born as Gurwitz Rudelman Piro in Tel Aviv to loan shark Shmuel Piro and his prostitute mistress Gesh Rudelman.
Foux M. Anschuh - 31 years old, hermaphrodite, Internet resident, applies anti-aging cosmetics nightly, hates complete sentences, despises conversations or correspondence that don't include him/her/it. Changed name and identity in order to attempt to "out" misogynists and homophobes. Born with silver foot in mouth.
Tal Cobbler - 58 years old, male, lives in the NYPD stables in Central Park, visits bath houses nightly, hates heterosexuals, despises heterosexual women for fucking the straight men Tal wishes would screw him. Changed political parties after a random Log Cabin Republican shoved a firecracker up his arse at Bohemian Grove. Born wearing white gloves.
Harald Purnow - 37 years old, male, lives in a hipster neo-commune* in mid-town Manhattan, watches LOST reruns nightly, hates people who smell like they might not be Leftists, despises anyone he fears is smarter than himself. Changed his underwear after seeing a
Ted FitzHume - 66 years old, male, lives in The Land of Poutine, gives self pep talks in the mirror nightly, hates people who refuse to see the economics angle of whatever's under discussion, despises people who don't follow the herd instinct. At age 17, changed his childhood hero from Mr Peepers to John Maynard Keynes. Born in wrong century.
Sprytel J. Chimchim - 59 years old, male, lives in an imagined universe where everyone views life (and life's challenges) through the prism of WWBOD?,** takes nightly virtual strolls down memory lane by re-reading a book that nobody else would bother to read -- ever, hates people who refuse to be managed by well-credentialed bureaucrats, despises others who enjoy autonomy. Changed his favorite ice cream from Pralines'n'Cream to TuttiFrutti after a coarse-looking dirt-eater laughed at him while pulling a carton of PnC from the cold case at a grocery in the Catskills. Born to lose.
Dylenne Anson - 24 years old, female, lives in Highland Park,*** daily lunch routine includes reading her favorite book by Anne Enke, hates reactionaries, despises people who use curse words. Changed pubic hairstyle every 3 weeks while in college at Bryn Mawr. Born without a penis, and angry about it.
Wightman Vell-Bheetagh -- 53 years old, male, lives in complete denial,**** hates freedom and self-reliance, despises those who won't submit to authority. Changed label for his political ideology (from "progressive" to "leftist") when his Senegalese housekeeper told him she was a "progressive" who was proud to see America elect its first Black president. Born to delude himself.
A political blog, highbrow in vocabulary, narrow in scope of issues covered. Small readership but devoted comment clique of regulars. Tenor of both blog entries and comments thereafter is formal -- if it were a dinner party, there would be engraved invitations sent to the select few, and the dress code for the dinner would be formal evening wear.*****
We approach the blog on a Monday morning at approximately 10 AM EST.
Recherchez le chaise longue
Of course we'd be remiss if we didn't fondly reminisce about the various purchases we've made this summer in preparation for the pivotal annual event, the arrival of New Blood after Labor Day.
(apologies to those of you unfortunate enough to be paid insufficiently yet still required to pontificate earlier than September)
Our finest acquisition in this glowing, amber-hued Autumn of Summer was, we do believe, the very much sought-after treatise by the tragically un-discovered genius, Mike Davis: Ecology of Fear.
posted by Sprytel J. Chimchim at 9:53 a.m. on Monday, August 20, 2012.
1. While I adore you all, I wonder if you couldn't bother to go back and find a book written by a woman, or at least a trans-gendered man. I find myself being drawn regressively toward the 12th Century if I am forced to read a man's work.
2. Dearest Ms. D. Anson, we simply selected the finest work we reviewed this summer. If you have favorite womyn authors you'd like us to explore, please share with us. We appreciate a community perspective here.
3. I would like to support SJC in his appreciation for a community perspective. We strive for inclusion here. We won't tolerate misogyny.
4. an sun
I feel it
5. Whose the fuken rackshinerry hear? Kant we geddim out da hair hear over there? Kepe this upp wur gunna hafta shit or get off thapott. Fuk Ur.
6. I should apologize for Mr Purnow. He doesn't know how to work the software and since he has no hands or feet, we have to use a vocalizer-transcriber program and the software has a few bugs. Normally we do not encourage, and never tolerate, the kinds of vulgarity found in his comment. This is a trigger-free space.
7. if it likes..., ,.. .,. perhaps my lithe fingers will play,.,.. over the,,, glance..,. i am flexible and sexually adventurous in my coming of which we speak frequently...,,. he blushes ... or does ,,, she., blush?
Foux M. Anschuh
* a/k/a luxury condominium
** What Would Bertell Ollman Do?
*** in St Paul MN
**** about everything
***** humorous, "ironic" cummerbunds and bowties tolerated if the guest in question is sufficiently high-profile on the Left, and the motif of the "irony" is, for example, a Christian cross or a dollar sign.