Monday, December 31, 2012

leuel tees

Consumer identity is massive in North America, broheem.  And if you were harboring some notion that the Canucks are somehow a refined version of America --what with their national health care, 'n' shit-- here's your chance to see how Northern America (distinguished from North America, please) thinks.

Sam Hill is a young man from Australia who ruled the UCI World Cup Men's Elite DH scene for several years.  "Ruled" is an understatement.  Sam Hill changed DH racing.  His bike control at absurd speeds left people standing open-mouthed and wide-eyed.  Sam would scream through highly technical sections unflapped, unbowed, in control and looking for more speed than anyone imagined feasible.  The hairier and scarier the course, the more Sam dominated.

Eventually the other riders did what competitive descenders do -- they realized that if someone could go that speed, then it was feasible for everyone, and the hurdle was more psychological than skill-based. 

Of course, that's the truth at the pinnacle of almost all athletic endeavor.  The mind imposes limits that the body won't mind breaking through.  The mind is automatic in self-preservation instinct.FN

Several seasons back, Sam Hill had a few nasty crashes that essentially kept him out of World Cup competition for 2 seasons.  During that time, his competitors sorted out how Sam was going so fast and the pack caught Sam's speed, with some riders even setting new standards for all-out speed.

Sam rose to international acclaim as a rider for the Iron Horse bicycle brand.  Iron Horse developed a new DH race bike with lots of input from Sam.  The Iron Horse Sunday remains, along with Sam himself, an emblem of the big shift in DH speeds.  The Sunday introduced a lower chassis (lower bottom bracket height and lower COG location) with a slacker head angle, a design that has become standard across all manufacturers' DH race bikes.  Sam rode for Iron Horse throughout his dominant years.  And Iron Horse was famous for nurturing Australian DH talent.

Iron Horse saw a massive upswing in Sunday sales thanks to Sam's dominance.  But eventually Iron Horse ran out of money and the company just about imploded.  The massive America-based bicycle company, Specialized, signed Sam away from Iron Horse.

This caused a quandary for brand-identity fanboys.  Should they sell their Sunday and buy a Specialized Demo (the Specialized DH race bike) to show their brand-loyalty?

Many did.

After Sam's return through/with Specialized, he suffered the injuries I mentioned above, and got married, and had a little baby boy.  His DH race results were not as stellar as his dominant years.  But his fans remained loyal, fiercely and doggedly faithful to the legend that Sam had become.

Within the last couple of weeks it was announced that Sam Hill is going to ride for NukeProof cycles based in the UK for the 2013 UCI Men's Elite DH race season.  This, of course, caused a lot of e-speculation on whether the Sam Hill fanboys were going to now rush out to sell their Specialized Demo bikes in favor of the NukeProof DH race bike, the Scalp.

Go here and witness the power of consumerism and brand identity, broheem.  Observe it and wonder to yourself how much it looks like Democrats standing behind their champion no matter how dismal his performance or how far back in history he may have actually been what their minds have fabricated about him.  Be sure to read the comments thread after watching the video.

For the record:  whether he finishes 10th or 1st in a race, Sam Hill is a rider who has a lot to teach many MTB riders who love descending on a MTB.  His dominant era and the shifts he caused in DH racing were no fluke.  But they were just a stage in the development of racing skill and racing generally.  Things move on.  Champions become also-rans.

Think about how that applies to political matters -- or to any discussion, really.


FN - Self-preservation can be psychological in sports where injury isn't the likely event when exceeding one's comfort zone.  Golfers won't be physically injured if they try a shot they think unlikely to work.  But the fear of the shot not working can be overwhelming and cause reluctance.  I'm sure the same happens in tennis, and even in chess.  I say that as someone who's played a fair amount of golf, tennis, chess.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

anonymous supernumerary

You know,

the fucktards who have appointed themselves as Internet Saviours of Democracy and pretend to seek substantive interpersonal connection for social reform's sake,

but who use snarky, superior posts from an Anonymous Handle perspective,

like the Pink Chipmunks

or the Crystal Chandelier Plantidote Scholars

or anyone among the dozen or so bloggers I routinely mock,

how the fuck are they achieving anything?

When some swishy poof who names himself after a Henry James character pretends he's got the political world's tiger by its tail, and wants us to believe he's got valuable insights,

why doesn't Tinker Bell tell us his name?

or his work history?

or his life's experiences?

so that we may assess whether he knows what the fuck he's talking about?


He doesn't have to do that in order to get PowerNoggin Progressives to line up in a receiving queue of worshipful mushminds that seek a blessing.

His gayness is all the authority and expertise they need.

Gay men are geniuses, with heroic courage aimed toward meaningful social reform.

Done anonymously.


Sometimes it's not anonymous.  This adds Special Gay Cachet.  We could ask Glenn Greenwald, Andrew Sullivan, Matt Taibbi, Matthew Yglesias, Rachel Maddow, Lewis Proyect what it's like to have Special Gay Cachet.

They could tell us how Being Gay = Automatic Expertise.

They could tell us how Being Gay and Writing Emotionally Overwrought Essays With Ornate Adjectives and Adverbs = Proof of Wisdom.


I would expect that Proud Gays And Lesbians such as Greenwald or Maddow or Sullivan don't know jack shit about struggle and oppression, no matter how many "fairy!" or "butch!" depredations they suffered in their youth.

Where's the evidence that any of them has labored under difficult conditions?

Shit, even "Arthur Silber" knows to pretend he's on death's door every month, running on about 10 years now.

Longest fucking dying I've ever witnessed.


Fuckin' A!

I admire those people who don't have much experience in the physical world, and whose competitive urges are driven toward prowling the Toobz, or Twitter, or The Infotainment Media We Enjoy in search of dastardly, awful and horrifying (please continue with the frilly blouse modifiers that signify gay perspective) printed sentiments that must be corrected and their authors chastised appropriately with Leftist Haughtiness rooted in Feminist Empowerment.

You know that your stupid-assed Word Athleticism is pointless, don't you PowerNoggin?


Since that was a rhetorical question, I'll provide the obvious answer:


You don't know that.

You actually think it's what invigorates Public Debate, this pathetic and pretentious need to find a "reactionary" or a "misogynist" or a "cracker" or a "Christer" or a "redneck" that you can belittle, berate, castigate, derogate, chastise, denigrate, slam, bitch-slap, Poofty-Snapping-Finger-Dismiss.

You not only think that.

It's how you satisfy your thimbledicked competitive urge.

While you mock the redneck for his Giant Pickup Truck That Scares You, and assume it's a make-up call for being born with a tiny schlong, your whole fucking internet trolling and posting and blogging and tweeting gambit reveals you to be the one who feels his penis isn't priapically proud enough.

So you chase down sentiments that enable you to post a comment which says, implicitly,


and thereby pat your own back to the point of bilateral shoulder dislocation.


When the realization of your obnoxious hypocrisy (complicity while uttering putdowns on the same subject where you are partly to blame on the troubles you whinge about) finally removes that dumbfuck set of intellectual blinders you normally sport, I suggest you shift gears at your blog.

At this point, after you've shifted gears,

utter a confession that makes people think you're terribly, awfully, tremendously, frilly-blousedly sensitive.

Even though you're not at all sensitive about those with whom you have disagreement on issues of a very narrow social-niche sort.

When someone challenges your assertion that a fetus isn't a living thing or a human entity before it squirts out the woman's puss, it's really down to you, Hyperfeminist Bro, to remind that someone of his misogynistic rape fantasies and his crackerness and his reactionary mindset.

Corey Robin approves.

Glenn Greenwald would too, if he could stop biting pillows and writing fluffy "essays" long enough to consider the matter.

And you?

You're elevated to a new apogee in the practice.

Fuckin' A.

if Jake had a horse's equipment

...he could plunge something deeply into his own fecal exhaust chute, and could do it without a partner.

Onanism is a great thing, I'm sure we all agree.  Ladies and their clit-diddling, men and their flagpole-polishing.  It helps when one's Vaunted Sex Life of Mystical Experiences that Defy Reality happens to take a nose-dive and starts to feel boring.  It saves one from a coital drought.

Intellectually speaking, it's pretty useless -- unless you're a PowerNoggin.  Then, it's the dog's bollocks!

Here's someone I haven't mocked in a while.  Jim Kunstler.

I don't happen to be a political conservative in the standard sense, but the right-wingers have a point when they say there are a lot of idle people out there who can't be supported forever by transfer payments.

The point of this sentiment is more to wax his own carrot over being NOT CONSERVATIVE.

If the point of his statement was to point others toward some kind of better American society, there would be no need to mention "political conservative" or "right-winger."

If you can't support people with transfer payments,

why would it matter whether the person observing this could be labelled "conservative" or "right-winger"?

Something that's true is true regardless of Team Identity.

Jimmy's heart still sports a Noble Donkey tattoo, and so he's still terrified of anything he can't categorize as NOT conservative or NOT right-wing.

How do you get to be 60-something and yet still intellectually a neo-adolescent?

I'll tell you.

Tribalism, partisanship, and a need to feel superior to a hated OTHER.

Shit, I bet he harbors rape fantasies and is deep-down a misogynist.


Joe, now go back through my post and look for the place where I said that personal example is the only authentic form of persuasion. Hint: you won't find it. What you'll find is the argument that any other form of persuasion fails unless personal example is there to back it up. A lot of my readers turned down their thermostats because they know that mine is down good and low, as indeed it is.
I am the Sage atop Mt Wisdom! I am the Arch-Druid! I need my throngs of imitators in order to validate my absurd self-image!

Hint: you won't find it.

Translation:  I am so superior to you, and in fact, I'm infallible.

It is indeed the soul of veracity to assume Peak Oil is past, and on that ground, to put the burden squarely on those whose thermostat is above 57 deg F in the winter.

That's truly the biggest source of waste.  It's not the daily gobbling of petroproducts for our swanky Crossovers and SUVs and neo-retro-musclecars.  It's not the massive military budget's consumption of energy for weapons production.  It's not the plastic we have everywhere, on everything, for "convenience".  It's not the cities where buildings are lit up throughout the non-working night-time.  It's not the White Man's Fire put everywhere so terrified little putzes can feel "safe."  It's not the jails where people are held for social ...errr, ahhh... transgressions that require "correctional facilities" to help remedy that which impels "criminal" behavior.  It's not the obsession with technology and the belief that "progress" will save us.  It's not the disconnect from natural resources and their limitations.


It's just YOU, and YOUR thermostat's settings.

And, of course, the hateful ideas and opinions of reactionary redneck christer cracker misogynists.


love it

Love it when bloggers get "confessional" after hundreds of entries where they adopt a psychotic, unhinged persona who pretends to know every fucking detail about every parsec of human experience, and, on top of that, pretends to know what is right and best and efficient for everyone -- not just him/herself.

It's fucking awesome.

Nobody's ever lost a girlfriend, boyfriend, wife, husband, daughter, son, beloved pet. Nobody. So when you "return" to blogging to announce grim news on the landscape as if it's actually honest, after spending multiple posts and comments pretending to know the psyche and motives of others,

I love it.

I love its absurd pretense.

I love the phoniness.

I love the lies.

Lie on, Crowbar. Just fucking dissemble forever.

You don't cast a shadow, you lying fuck. What you cast is bullshit pretense at global, holistic wisdom and massive superiority, while denigrating those who disagree with you in the most negligible and minor ways.

Just go to a reunion for your Prep School and lie to them. It fits there.

Friday, December 28, 2012

no woe

no wo- either

jesus fargin' rice, with that clearly misogynistic name I'm surprised they can find female backup singers. jesus.

I'm sorry, but they're kicking your favorite group's ass right here:

don't be one of those hipster douchebags who cites Buzzcocks and MC5 and says "unoriginal" until you've listened to the whole damned album and then tell me if anyone can do as good a combo of tribute and originality.

maybe ween.

yep, your band's ass is bloody and ready for the meat wagon.

you may even say posting this group's videos is why I started this blog and the stuff leading up to it is just roost thrown up by my rear tire.

or you might not.

Thursday, December 27, 2012

you're not allowed

You don't count.

No matter what you may be able to contribute, ixnay on the ou-yay.

Get outta here.

You and your sour attitude regarding progress.

Thee, and thine.

Off with your head.

We saw a Romney bumpersticker on your truck, and we saw it parked at the local charismatic church.  We sat nearby, hiding, and heard the radio when you got in and started the truck.  A country song wound down and then Rush Limbaugh came on the air. 

You're as good as dead.  Hope you have your legal affairs in order.  In other words, if you have any assets (unlikely, given your redneck status), we'll put them to good use.

If you are solid in your mortgage and vehicle loans, we thank you for your house, and your vehicles.  We will put them to good use, after fumigating them extensively.  Our friend the Green Economy Wizard has a Green process that kills all toxins and poisons and parasites and pests without harming the environment. 

We will enjoy reprogramming your truck's radio to remove the country and reactionary radio presets. 

And we're gonna peel off that Romney sticker, throw it on the ground, dance on it, pee on it, shit on it, and then light it on fire.

Removing the gun rack will probably cause us to have celebratory sex.  Repeatedly.  With partners of both gender, and in multiples too. 

We'll blog about it later, after tweeting about it and sending instagram conquest porn shots.

We've earned it.

We're progressives.

I wish I knew

If you don't know anything, just make something up.
Mary, it was specifically the structure of the Haudenosaunee ("Iroquois") Confederacy that played a significant role in the thinking of the founders of our Constitution. As a very rough generalization, it was one-third that, one-third English common law and parliamentary procedure, and one-third the distinctive form of democratic process used in Freemasonry that went into the pot in Philadelphia.
Holy cannoli. What an arrogant ass.

Using the "historic" or "authentic" name for Iroquois is a way to sound educated and informed, while not possessing either trait.

There's no evidence it divided neatly into 3 influences.

And he passed right over the Articles of Confederation.

What a douchebag.

it IS natural

PowerNoggins often are heard or read saying or typing defenses of various things in the human behavior spectrum as "natural," and citing Lower Animals (sub-human, yet still animated) in their behavior as the conclusive "proof" on the question.

As always there are crazed inconsistencies in their approach and ...uh... "reasoning."

If homosexuality truly is "genetic" then what's the gene, Jean?  Gimme a locus, Lucas.

That animals often are found putting animal-penis in animal-anus is not "proof" that homosexuality is genetic.  Nor that it's "natural."

More likely it's a sign that animals sometimes are just oversexualized in their drives.  If I saw a male dog humping a Grandma's leg, does that mean humans should just go hump some old lady's leg?

Animals perform what humans consider "rape" all the time.  It's the defining feature of animal sex, males forcing themselves on females and impregnating them.

"No, you stupid reactionary redneck.  Animals have complex, elaborate courting routines that reveal preferences for mates.  Females will present themselves to males.  You're ignoring that intentionally."

I'm sorry, PowerNoggin, but you're anthropomorphizing.  You're projecting your ideas onto the animal.  Remind me, when did you learn how to read the minds of dogs?

Does a pregnant female dog go looking for a dog-witch to end her pregnancy because it's not convenient right now, given career goals and material wants that would be thwarted by having to care for a child?

dinna greet

Dinna keen, dinna wail.  The Obamiracle is upon us.

Mendacious Mandingo mouths platitudes about gay marriage, therefore there's no reason to be concerned with the destruction of all general civil rights -- he's helped 4% (maximum) of the American populace so that proves he's Better Than Romney Would Have Been.

The lying loup-garou swears he'll protect a woman's right to murder her baby, so whatever he does to women children innocents abroad, that's negligible.  Abortion uber alles!  A woman's "right" to murder her baby is essential to progress!  Diminished quality of respect for all living things = progress!  A fetus is not a living thing!  It's a tumor!

Unless Preggy Peggy desires pregnancy.  Then, the lump of tissue = baby.

Then, a living thing.

See how it's all within The Woman's rights?

See how natural?

Wednesday, December 26, 2012



The PowerNoggin doesn't know or understand it.  She uses its lingo and pretends that such use is scientifically honest, but the truth?  She's playing at knowledge, not demonstrating comprehension.

The very funniest way this is shown (at least to me, right now, today) is in that Specially Treated Class of Humans, the Home O'Sexuals.

The Home O'Sexual wants to regress to the gestational stage where the fetus is sexually indeterminate.  "Give me that penis and testes, dammit!" screams the angry misander lesbian who can't figure out whether she is a he.  "Calgon, take away my twig and berries and give me a love canal on the FRONT side," says the french poodle as he struts down the sidewalk imagining himself a fashion runway model.

They're god-damned reactionaries.  But they excuse it with sophistry.

"You're just an ugly redneck.  You refuse to see how some women just want to be men.  You refuse to see how some men are angry at their gender because they prefer the female perspective in all dimensions."

Please don't ever look deeper than the confused homosexual's presently stated desire.  If Swishy Steve declares he's never been happy as a boy or man, obviously he needs to have extensive corrective surgery and hormonal therapy, and clearly nothing that happened to him in his youth was an influence on his gender role confusion. 


Of course, to mention this merely encourages the PowerNoggin to get all dismissive and angry.  "You people with your focus on the human psyche were the ones who declared homosexuality a psychiatric malady."

Well, buster,

if you're psyche is in agony and it's due to your gender confusion, I'd say you are suffering a psychiatric malady.

Monday, December 24, 2012

dumdum dipshit prolly homeskule'd

The more famous one may have got more notoriety and sold more albums and concert tickets but if you ask me his music isn't as interesting.

Exception here, this is not knuckledragging greasemonkey shit is it?

No, that's actually nudging right up against PBS-approved non-ironic PowerNoggin Pop.  This begs the plump pregunta, why am I listening to it?

I could say "nels cline" and be called a hipster or elitist or PowerNoggin, I guess.  But all three darts would miss the target.

...moving on...

In contrast to that Austin City Limits kinda lovefest that is the urban hipster 40somethingPLUS equivalent of what the Dead were when I was in college,

here's the uncouth slimeball stuff you'd rather not hear because it makes you shiver at the reactionaries you imagine at one of their live shows --

I know you PowerNoggin professionals haven't a fucking clue what Henneman's talking about there.

Maybe he should sing about a thousand dollar wristwatch or smartphone and you'd understand.

You'd lack the regret though, because you have more than a single thousand to burn, right?

I know you know this guy, hipster, but I'll bet you don't know his really old stuff because it was way too cracker, too trailer park sounding for your elevated self

Go ahead and pity the factory girl though, it's Christmas and you're feeling generous and can spare a bit of empathy for her. She may be a cracker but she's a she and you won't be caught dead publicly admitting you, with your hyperborean feminist stance, might feel dismissively toward her.FN


FN Yep, there's no way you ever were James Spader in that movie that shares something --you probably know more than I do on this Q, hipster-- with a Psychedelic Furs song.

morning coffee

You can consider yourself an "intellectual" as much as you like, PowerNoggin. 

But you're not any kind of intellect if you have no thoughts of your own, and constantly must "prove" your intellectual calibre by your constant reference to the "experts" you deem exclusive on any issue.


The world of the "intellectual" is an empty one.  It is largely equivalent to Christianity in the fundamentalist and literalist variant, charismatic sub-set. 

Where the stupidfuck Christer reduces everything to "God's will" or "walking with Jesus" or "being visited by the Holy Spirit,"

the dumbass "intellectual" reduces everything to Marx's will or walking with Paul Krugman or being visited by the Donkey Spirit.


Not proof of intellect.

Not demonstrated processing power.

Secret handshakes.

"I'm in this particular Cool Kids Clique.  Are you?  Show me you are, by agreeing that Marx was like a god, by affirming that Krugman is the great interpreter of reality.  Give me the code word:  be sure to blame reactionaries."

Saturday, December 22, 2012


Calling Chuck Hagel the "right choice" because Ugly Elephants pretend to doubt his toughness on national and global security sure is funny.

I agree that Gary Ridgway would be preferable for Homeland Security.  Jeff Dahmer is the Elephant choice!


If you don't have any wisdom or experience of your own to share, then please angle toward becoming an Expert on someone else who allegedly had such wisdom or experience.

An obvious example is to become a Marxist, and then, instead of trying to sort out your own feelings about what to do on various subjects related to human society, commerce, greed, and power -- just become an expert on what Marx thought about those things.

So much easier than having your own thoughts.

Stan Goff's devoted an entire blog to this practice... errr, ahhh... I mean... praxis.

If you suffer immense guilt from devoting the first 40 years of your life to murder and oppression, the very best way to make amends for that is to become a Marxist Christian Misander.

Obviously the reason you were a bloodthirsty soldier seeking occasion to murder and oppress others was due to your unfamiliarity with Karl Marx, your rejection of Jesus, and your XY genome.  Obviously.

And obviously what you did as a soldier was NOT murder innocents, but act as a pawn of power-brokers, and that exculpates you from what otherwise would be murder, torture, assault, battery, property destruction.

We all know that the more exotic one's claims and/or labels, the more the pretentious pseudo-intellectuals of American society will find you wise.  If Barack Hussein Obama had been named Benny Smith, he'd never have made US Senator, let alone POTUS.  He would have lacked a cool, exotic, mysterious name.

So if you're a former Master Sergeant killing machine, you should aim for a new identity that is a provocative mix of things that don't belong together.

For Andy Sullivan it was gay + Brit + Thatcherite.

For Stan Goff it's Christian + Marxist ("leftist") + Misander.

So, for Paul Behrer, it will be ____________ + _____________ + _____________.

For you, intellectually crippled reader of this blog, I suggest emulating Goff but dropping the Christian facet, because it's obvious from touring the internet that Christers are Crackers are Rednecks are Reactionaries.  Stick with misander + leftist.  That's the winning combo.

"My sexual confusion has me hating my own gender."

Todd Goldman's solution to his desire to suck his classmates' cocks and equal desire to have his classmates fuck his ass?  Obviously maleness is to blame.  Feminists have said so!

We'll get Todd on the gender reassignment list ASAP.

Meanwhile, remember that at the core of all reactionary redneck cracker christer misogyny is the male gender.  Maleness = the root of evil.  Every male = murderous rapist.

Unless he's gay.  In which case he's noble.

And hip.

And very cool and enviable.

What the fuck do you idiots think the "metrosexual" fad is about?

"You poodle poochies are so fucking cool with your ass sex and your random hookup bars where you suck each other off publicly.  We're going to start lisping like you, or using sibilant "S" pronunciation, to prove how cool you poofs are.  We're going to make personal grooming important, and use a lot of expensive hair care and skin care products and, most importantly, trumpet those products as ideal for all men.  And then, denigrate any man who doesn't approve of these feminizing acts.  Why?  Because maleness is bad and needs to be tempered (worst case) or replaced (best case) by feminism."


If you're a Marxist or Hegelian, "talking" must be renamed.

It must become "the dialectic praxis."

If you're enamored of the image of yourself as The Arch-Druid of the North American Land Mass, "empty talking" must be renamed.

It must become "phatic communication."FN

Remember, when you're trying to help others see something presently obscure to them, you should use rare words that are completely un-necessary to the thing under discussion. That way, you will probably be mistaken for "well educated" or "auto-didactic" especially since you've already crowned yourself as the Arch-Druid for the entire land mass.



your writing is bullshit. Your view -- meaning, the view as written at your blog -- is nothing more than a plea to be mistaken as the Great Sage atop Mt Wisdom.

So my advice to you, Greer, is to drop the Arch-Druid bullshit because it's nothing more than phatic communication.

Haw haw haw.

(insert starchy, pompous greeting in archaic tones and language, such as "Jovial Tidings in this Season of Solstice, Arch-Druid, for your prose is perspicacious and your sentiments bridge the chasm between apocrypha and praxis.")


FN - Please note the synchronicity between my phrase PowerNoggin and the pretentious bullshit Greer offers when he uses the phrase "phatic communication" instead. Oh, look.... "phatic" is all Latin, 'n' shit. What a scholar he is!  Good job copying me, Arch-Druid, and re-naming it pretentiously to make yourself look wise and original.

are you going... the funeral of Jack Cuneyt Owen Dogfood Chimchim Pwogarchist Crow?

How is a fictional blogger's death treated?

By reinvigorating the Sprytel J Chimchim blog?

Maybe in the eulogy we'll learn all the details of Kicking In Heads When Mocked About Poverty at Choate.

Maybe we'll learn how the multi-billion dollar enterprise he founded and ran was boring, and caused Our Hero to become a GOP predictor and organizer for the Live Free Or Die State.

Maybe we'll learn about the various subjects he has taught at innumerable Parchment Factories, where he learned his Authoritative Pronouncement style.

Maybe we'll find out how he is able to read a blog post and from that post divine that the author is a misogynist reactionary IRL.

Maybe we'll learn how to copy others and claim it as our own.

Maybe there will be an actual physical grave where we can take a dump on the plot and pee-mark the gravestone.


Did you know that one of the best ways to elevate yourself is by being a fan of OCL and referring to him as "Glennzilla"?

There's nothing SuperPowerfulMonster-esque about that fuckface Greenwald. He's a fucking fraud! How many posts do I have to put up that suggest he's not anything he pretends to be?

The only thing he might actually be, from among his self-descriptors?

He probably does bear the legal name "Glenn Greenwald."

I doubt his lawyer status. I definitely doubt his "constitutional law expert" status because a lawyer calling himself a "constitutional law expert" is like an auto mechanic calling himself a clutch throwout bearing expert. An auto mechanic can't make a living doing clutch throwout bearing replacements exclusively. A lawyer can't make a living litigating constitutional law issues exclusively.

By dickcheese Greenwald's measure, I am an expert on nearly every single legal field.

Except, probably, gay rights.

But hey, if I call him "Glennzilla," that makes me look informed for knowing his prowess and aligning myself with that prowess.

Fucking fuck, what a fucking joke. I haven't read a single motherfucking god-damned essay by Greenwald where he showed his legal chops generally, let alone some powerful insights into The Noble Constitution And All Its Imports.

What do I gather from a Greenwald essay, typically?

* That he could do very well as a car salesman.
* That he could do even better as a used car salesman on a lot full of junkers.
* That he confuses dull-witted pseudo-legal-ish-esque-ese jargonia with informative writing that displays analytic prowess and deep understanding.

Glenn Greenwald reminds me of every insecure little Jewish Mama's Boy I knew from K-12.

Again I remind the world -- if Greenwald actually were from The South and had a name like Ainsley Blackwell Granville, and loved to fuck sleazy trailer park girls while high on Vicodin and Jack Daniel's, and actually knew a thing or two about Constitutional Law and how it works in America,

nobody would read him.

conversations with Mara Liasson

Because I'm smuthe-swayve-n-deboner, I was able to chat up Mara Liasson recently and while I had to turn down her request that I plow her fields (she's not really all that attractive, to be honest), I was able to talk to her about some pivotal news items on the Christmas 2012 Season agenda.

"Well, Mara, you're pretty famous. NPR likes your voice and your exotic name. The listeners feel you're intelligent because your voice is so non-threatening and somnifying. I feel privileged to meet you."

"Thank you very kindly. I was born to this job. Mother was a librarian, father an undertaker. Whispered tones are the essence of my childhood. Avoiding the uncomfortable and surrounding it with velour and shiny metal or glossy wood, that's pretty much second nature to me."

"So tell me how you got to be a notable on NPR."

"Aside from my soothing voice, you mean?"

"Yes, whatever substance there is, I'd like to hear about it."

"Well, I was one of the first students at my high school to create an alternative school. So I've always been progressive. I've even thought of changing my middle name to Progress."

"That's got to be a fine gift for navigating the corridors of power in Washington DC, where the Donkey Team and its millions of supporters are organized around the concept of social progress, and then the Elephant Squad and its teeming fans are concerned largely with economic progress. You've got them all covered!"

"I was born into it. It's a native talent. I progress everyone and everything I encounter. You'll probably be 25 IQ points smarter yourself, just from talking to me."

"Yes, I feel the mighty increase in noggin power already. Look out Bill Gates, I'm going to out-invent you."


"I was wondering, Mara, if you could offer some thoughts on the recent labor statistic showing a 13.1% jobless rate for calendar year 2013."

"Well that's very unfortunate and I truly feel empathy for those whose desperate situation involves joblessness."

"Do you think that number understates reality?"

"Oh no. In fact I think it's inflammatory, designed to make people hate Obama."

"Really? You don't think there's enough reason already for people to hate Obama? You think this is needed? Why?"

"Everyone knows that Jobs Are Number One. Having a JOB is the best thing any human can do. Self-actualizing under the Maslow Hierarchy involves having a JOB. Humans are defined by their JOB. Take me, for example. What does my JOB say about me?"

"What I'm curious about is the accounting. The official jobless rate is 8.9% according to Obama's bean-counters. The forecast is for 13.1%. But my experience in my town is that the numbers should be closer to 25%."

"That's absurd. My wine-tasting group is fully employed. Those who don't have jobs don't wish for them. My book reading group is fully employed, likewise. Everyone I know from my husband's law firm is happily employed and those who aren't, don't want a job. Though I can't understand why someone wouldn't want a job. Having a job is the most crucial thing a human can do. Jobs give our lives meaning. And you can't buy anything without the income you get from your employer."

"You're seriously trying to tell me that because your wealthy, powerful and well-connected friends are fully employed, nobody needs worry about the honesty of the economic statistics offered?"

"That's right. We're just witnessing ploys by reactionary cracker Republicans who want to see Obama assassinated."

"What would you say to my many well-educated friends who cannot even get a job flipping burgers at Burger King or stuffing tacos at Taco Bell?"

"So sorry that you weren't born into the right family. Truly, that's sorrowful news that you're struggling, and I empathize greatly. We are with you in these difficult times, our hearts are with you in your struggles. Please pass the Grey Poupon."

Friday, December 21, 2012

think i'm gonna

...take up Pro Sports Worship and Obsession as a thing to do. I find it way easier than trying to be athletic in middle-age. Better to look back, fictionally-in-my-intent, toward Ye Olden Dayes of Glorye when I rode the pine on the JV soccer team in high school. If I now obsess over Major League Soccer in the USA, it means I'm one of those Cultural Elitists who looks down on American Football and mocks its fans by reminding them that elsewhere on Earth, "football" is what American Football fans call "soccer" and we all know that the word "soccer" is redneck, reactionary, right-wing, conservative, and completely opposed to gay marriage and easy abortion access.

Only by worshiping "Soccer" can I show my worldly perspective, my keen sense of feminism (The Patriarchy isn't as obvious in "Soccer" as in Football), and my integral function in American Society.

By supporting MLS, I am helping progress society away from Helmetball and toward the glorious leftist pacifist world of no armor, no helmets, hands-off sport. (Please ignore the goalie's use of hands, he's like the priest, if I may be allowed a religious analogy despite my full disdain for all religions except Noble Judaism.)

Thus, it is quite clear that by affiliating myself with Professional Soccer, I show an exalted state relative to most everyone else in America, but most assuredly I am proved clearly with irrefutable evidence to be well above the cracker, the christer, the reactionary and the redneck.

Now I'm gonna go indulge my po-mo artist thing again.


Here in the
big city we
are paralyzed
whenever rain falls
and near-death
if it dares snow
things are not
100% sterile
100% perfect
and we cannot deal
with imperfection
unless it
dwells within
in which case we
turn a pair
of blind eyes
away from it.
We know our
Big City is
part of a
Fancy State
in a
Hip Enviable Region
of a
Bloated Fat Prideful Nation
and so we have
image first
image middle
image last
as our agenda
as our view
as our thinking.
Do you envy me?
I live in a hip house
on a hip street
full of feminists
and leftists-by-declaration
(even if not by deed)
and I was hipper than
you by a mile when
we both were in college
my major was cooler
my advisor way radder
and my senior project
was more po-mo than
Basquiat and
Winehouse making
a wonderful
biracial love child

Saturday, December 15, 2012

who cares?

Beeee effff deeeeee.

If a reactionary christer cracker teabagger racist like Romney or Palin had won in November, this would concern me and haunt me day and night.

However, the Democrats are in charge, and I trust them.  They have a donkey as their mascot, not an ugly elephant.  They are the liberals, and they are in favor of progress, and they are the voice and conscience of the poor and the working class.  They defend and protect underdogs.

I have nothing to fear from them.

I'm worried about racist teabagger bircher prepper anarchist reactionary crackers.

And misogynists.

lopping off limbs

Oh scary thing, oh living horror.  Your yuppie lifestyle and pwoggie public school setup was attacked.

The horr-ah.  The horr-ah.

Was your child at the school?  No?  Then stop acting like this is threatening your child.  And if you don't have a child in school stop imagining having that child and having him or her shot in school.

Start thinking about what makes someone so mad at schools and American society that he would so such a thing.

You, pwoggie, have pockets of your life where you'd Go Postal.  Most of them have to do with Christers Crackers Reactionaries Teabaggers Birchers and Fundies.

What's your plan for those people, Pwoggie?

Round 'em up and shoot 'em?  Skip the shooting, just bury 'em alive?

Re-"educate" them so that they, too, deify Chomsky and Marx and "progress" like a good hyoo-man?

Never try to understand the actor.

Always empathize with the victim.

Always look for the opportunity to be offended on someone else's behalf.

It provides a useful spot for your favorite tribalist tactic -- adopting a superior moral position and denigrating all who disagree with stern lecturing tones about their wrongness.  Focus, please, on the "adopting" part and understand what that says regarding your sincerity and the impetus in your tribalism.

Don't ever think about dark arts, black ops, and staged games designed to further inflame your partisan ire.

That stuff doesn't happen.  It's always Crazy Reactionaries.  Every single thing you don't like about life, about the world, about your country -- they are the fault of wingnut conservative gun-loving whackjobs who watch Fox News and laugh at Obama.


While your imagined child was getting shot at the school he/she attends in your imagination, how many children in foreign lands died because Barack Obama ordered or approved of their death with drones?  With bullets and missiles and rockets and grenades and bombs?  With economic sanctions?

Yes, the real need for crackdown is here in America, so that we can continue to "dominate" the world with our "spreading democracy" impulse.

We need to silence everyone who criticizes anything about the US Govt at the fed, state or local level because it's perfect.  Absolutely perfect.  A progressive's dream.  Gays can marry.  Women can kill their babies when convenience commands it.  Political correctness is doctrine.  Shale oil is a nice bubble and the ether-world of bogus kickstarter commerce shows we're grassroots baby.  Progress is ours!

Lethal force abroad is required to achieve democracy.  People object to democracy, and when they do, they must be killed.  Or maimed and had their home destroyed and their place of livelihood immolated.

This clearly is a teachable moment.  We can teach Americans that guns are the problem and that the government is our parental overseer.  Stern, sometimes, but for our own good.  Those lost civil rights are just an unfortunate casualty on the Road to Progress.

And those innocents we kill abroad are negligible.  Please focus on the far fewer number of innocents killed in the school shooting done by enticement.

"What's that?  Enticement?  Surely you're a madman.  Surely you realize the shooter was a reactionary teabagger bircher prepper who was just being a dumbfuck anarchist."

Yes.  That's a very comforting thing to tell yourself when complicity is in the air and circulating in your psyche.

Just go back to your shadetree po-mo-artist playing, that thing you do to "prove" you're sensitive and progressive and creative and nurturing.

It definitely makes up for your binary view of Cracker Bad, Pwoggy Good, and your desire to see all whom you deem Cracker as worthy of punishment or death.

Different political viewpoints are truly a sign of psychopathic violence just waiting to happen.  The school shooting proves it.

Your paranoid imagination confirms it.

The infotainment media you hipster-esque-ily pretend to disdain, while following its every unspoken command, absolutely verifies it.

Comply, while pretending to criticize.  Comply, while pretending the fault is with The Cracker.

It suits you like that Emperor's new robes.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

do you want a medal, or a chest to pin it on?

Pwogs love to complain about the "quality of education" in America.

Are they onto something?  Or are they just parrotting more crap shit feces merde shyte that they have heard from someone they trust as an "authority"?

To a person the progressives I know think we don't spend enough $$$ on public education, and they think the reason any public school fails to compare favorably to any private school is in funding, and specifically, because the schools need more money.

The more self-aware and ego-projecting pwoggie will say, for example --

"Our military budget needs to be cut, and the money re-purposed to education.  I'm not saying to gut the defense budget.  That would be insane.  Lots of crazy fundamentalist whacko terrorists out there.  Lots of racists who'd like to try to kill America's First Black President.  Lots of insane reactionaries who envy America's democracy and productivity and standard of living.  But we need to spend more on education if we want to be competitive in the 21st Century.  We need better acceptance rates at Harvard for people that don't go to traditional Harvard feeder schools.  That's our best measure.  Acceptance at Harvard.  I myself went to Harvard after graduating from Walt Whitman in Bethesda."

Yes. You've ticked all the boxes there, very progressively done! Nice work!

Besides, public education levels the playing field.

Lots of Donkeys have stood on a dais and said so.

So it must be true.

Besides, think of the children.


Maybe we could re-examine public education and how it's done.

For example, computerizing learning is a massive waste of money.  Computers are so easy to use that no child will be dis-served by not learning his/her stuff on a computer.

No matter what various random egomaniacal bloggers suggest, books are not going away and Kindles and Pads and e-Tampons are not replacing books.  People who read books, actual physical books that have to be opened and pages turned, they're not at a deficit.

So there's one massive spending chunk that could be eliminated if public schools need more money.

Then there's the agenda followed.

Self-esteem and political correctness, letting kids bring cell phones into school, corporate sponsorship of part or all of a school's facility or budget, "early out" days so teachers can work on "lesson plan" pointless paperwork... the list goes on.

Oh, but they try so hard.  And they're so dedicated.  And so committed to improving the world, one child at a time.

That's why they use computers, and allow cell phones in school, and force PC lingo and practice, and work more as parents than teachers.


No waste there.  None at all.

Playing with these all day at school is the perfect complement
to playing with them at home between after-school and bedtime.

que coo coo coo que ca ca ca all I want to say to you. meaningless and all that's true.

Sorry, Stink.  It's just what hit me noggin' first after reading the following from the Archdruid:

The notion that autocracies are by definition more competent than democracies is quite simply untrue; the annals of autocratic states such as ancien rĂ©gime France and Communist Russia are packed with examples of the most egregious incompetence—and no, despite the slogans, Mussolini didn’t make the trains run on time, either.

Logical fallacy multiple pregnancy alert, bro! Artificial choice constraint championship quality, sis!

"by definition" = first artificial limit

"more competent" = too fuzzy to be a measure

"annals... packed with..." = historicity and facticity

No categorical truths about leadership in human society have been "proved" by the "annals of history."

Greer's just acting like Jack Crow here, acting authoritative and knowing while being factitious and distractive.


I'm not saying Mussolini actually did make trains run on time.

I'm just saying that fascism doesn't disprove the potential utility of autocracy or monarchy.

I'm not saying I want to live in a dictatorial society or a king-ruled one.

I'm just saying that the categorical approach used by Greer is bullshit. It suffers the additional demerit of being distinctly un-funny, but that feature is standard for Greer's very snoozy, self-impressed, sage-on-the-mount writing style.

we specialize in Yugos and Ladas. pre-owned.

Susan Cain reminds me of Glenn Greenwald.

Like Greenwald, she has a diasporite's sense of how to make money without making anything useful or honest.

Like Greenwald, she writes from a perspective that is presented as knowing and confident, but the knowledge is all derivative and borrowed, making the perspective an act rather than a product of something integral.

Like Greenwald, she writes for people who feel lesser.

Like Greenwald, she is a lawyer who over-sells her legal talent.

Like Greenwald, she uses her litigation background to be a persuasive liar -- persuasive in ways that are convincing to jurors, but not really to judges.  That's an important distinction, and I hope you grasp it fully.


Susan Cain claims she's an introvert.  She says introversion and shyness are not the same thing.  But her entire presentation suggests she's essentially confused on shyness and introversion, and treats them as fungible concepts.

Shyness is a quality known only to extroverts.  Introverts aren't shy; they prefer to not socialize.  The concept of shyness suggests a desire to socialize, but a discomfort or fear or apprehension or whatever about actually engaging socially.

The introvert remains content not socializing.  Shyness isn't the thing with introverts.  A mere preference for solitude is the thing.


Susan Cain pretends she struggled mightily to become a show-woman in various ways, culimating academically in law school graduation; culminating professionally in litigation; and springboarding to public speaking as an "expert" on, I'm not kidding... introversion.

Susan Cain is a huge extrovert.  She thrives on attention.  Read between the lines of her autobiographical sharing.  She wanted the attention of her family and figured out how to be in the center of that attention.

What she calls introversion is actually social anxiety arising from being a perfectionist seeker of the spotlight.  She wants the spotlight, but she doesn't want to mess up her performance.  Her anxiety isn't about being in the spotlight.  It's not about others sharing the experience.  She wants to share.  She wants the limelight.

Her anxiety is about messing up.  About being 99.9% instead of 100%.

She is an extrovert hampered by perfectionism.

She is not an introvert.

An introvert would not relish musical performance.  An introvert would not relish being a trial lawyer -- an introvert lawyer would run, fast, in the other direction away from trial work.  An introvert lawyer would do tax work.  Or estates.  Something where he can triangulate and avoid direct personal contact or personal context.  Something where the law is clear and it's more like accounting.

Not trial work.

Trial work is showmanship.  It is about selling yourself to a jury, as something you're not.  It's about selling your client as something he/she/it is not.  It's about slickness.  It's about smiling to your face while picking your pocket.

To a whole room of people.  Not just a jury panel.  A whole courtroom.

It's acting.

And Susan Cain is playing a role when she calls herself an introvert, just like Glenn Greenwald is playing a role when he calls himself a constitutional law expert, or when he pretends he's always been skeptical about Obama or the Democrats.

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

negative space framed with ornate iron pyrite

Jodi Dean.

Some days when I travel the Toobz I see her name a lot.  There was a time when I saw it even more often, and would follow the links and read what she said/wrote.

It was always some derivative crap, all conviction and certitude deriving from having memorized what a Known Expert already had pontificated on the subject.

"I am an accurate conduit," that's what it always seemed to me.

Well thanks, but I can research my own shit mizz deene.

And as for you?  What original thought or insight can you share?  Or are you just a conduit too?


New!  Exciting!  Update!

Here's a good example of the nauseating, circle-the-wagons-here-come-the-reactionaries crap issued by Per Fesser Deene:

The commenting feature on most blogs, the very feature that makes them lively sites for argument and exchange, quickly bring homes the necessity of limits and contexts for discussion. On the one hand, an emphasis on the way the context of a statement or practice provides it with coherence has been a staple of contemporary political theory and cultural studies. Stanley Fish (There’s No Such Thing as Free Speech) makes the argument for context in a particularly powerful way: meaning requires limits, discursive parameters establishing the conditions of truth and falsity, of adequation and appropriateness. An argument or position is compelling not when it is context-free but due to the prior operation of power in securing the context within which it becomes compelling. Yet, on the other hand, invocations of context-dependency have been part of the arsenal of critical left academic thought. They’ve been challenges to the closed discussions of the old boys, the elite, the privileged. What do those of us on the critical left do when we are the ones responsible for drawing the lines, setting the limits, that is, when we have to decide on exclusion? How do we bring other values into play, values perhaps associated with transgression, with challenges to normativity, authority, and the hegemonic arrangement of power? Differently put, when one is accustomed to discussion in a critical left, critically informed setting, how does one interact once these assumptions no longer hold, once the discussion is really open, once the audience is really diverse, that is, once it includes those others one finds most other and repellant?


Are you fucking SERIOUS?

Your life is far too comfortable, Per Fesser Deene. You don't know shit about struggle. You think a person from an opposite political viewpoint offering strenuous disagreement is some kind of "oppression" that you need to fix.

Why don't you try growing up instead?

CLIF shots helped me stave off a bonk

Here's an old familiar voice, speaking over at Greer's Druidic Temple:

Anyone else having a hard time with the binary choice of Democracy as good and everything else as worse?

The niceties associated with our political democracy are going to largely disappear with the material culture that gets much poorer. Before the influx of imperial wealth, America was a slave state ruled by a native extirpating elite that modeled themselves on Roman imperialists. Women were chattel, children worth little, some entire races of people property or reduced to Jim Crow serfdom.

All those New Deal bribes like social security, health care and consistently at the tail end of the winds of change in making legal codifications of shifting social norms with respect to sex and race are the only reasons democracy is considered better than other forms of governments by the morality of out time.

Don't surprised by a return to the type of rule democracy produced in a poorer material culture when the ruling classes couldn't afford human rights and cushy lifestyles for everyone.

I'm going to treat each block in turn.

1) Naturally I am one of those who is not reconciling the binary and not falling for the artificial this/that choice many wish to impose on me. The less one knows about the history of the USA and our society, including the Fed and State Govts and their historic characters, the more likely I am to consider that person an ignorant fool when comes time to discuss what improvements are needed post-collapse. You can't weather and survive collapse if you are still gulled by the charades that maintained the now-collapsing power during your lifetime. You can't contribute usefully to the strategizing until you've acknowledged and accepted all the flaws of our supposedly exceptional nation's historical and present practices, characters, etc -- deceits and all.

2) Uh... Roman imperialists? What exact period of American culture do you mean here? I'm not familiar with that period, nor the region of the USA in which it was practiced. Please, more details!

3) Absolutely. The New Deal was a bribe, not a reforming of governmental power to be more responsive to the have-nots. Damn, why are so many people buffaloed by this crap? FDR was a damned criminal, not a hero. Jesus.

4) Return? We're already there, unless you're a trust-funding slummer.

Later in the same thread is another comment, this one containing a good observation:

I think you are misreading me as wanting to promote my pet abstract model of utopia. Its really not my aim, I maintain that your comparative analysis is very flawed in the same way that others within the narrative of progress are. My unstated point is not that I am right or will be proven right, but only that as time goes on and the system unravels and resembles the vicious democratic system of the 1800s, more people will gravitate to what I am saying based on personal experience instead of accepting your assertions about democracy being superior in terms of rights for the individual.

Yes, the "progress" religion is the most powerful religion in American culture. And yeah, the Archdruid is enamored of "progress" and this shows in his weird obsession with military knowledge and science fiction that puts one to sleep within 3 paragraphs.

Let's be fair about the power the Progress As Religion platform has in America. It has far more adherents than those tiny little pissant cults like Christianity or Judaism. Most of the adherents to those tiny sub-sects are more enamored of Progress than they are wedded spiritually to Yahweh, God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Spirit. The Old and New Testaments and the Torah and the Pentateuch, those are just handbooks for maintaining the secret handshakes et cetera. The real cult in America, Pwoggy Bro and Leftist Sis, is that of Progress As Religion. It rules the Marxists, it rules the Leninists, it rules the Straussian neocons and neolibs, it rules the view of even those cracker christer reactionaries that you pea-brained "intellectuals" love to disdain.

So... all those pwoggies who are desperately hating on "Christers" and "crackers" and "reactionaries" and "fundies", you folks are just too much side-splitting hilarity to me. Just a tsunami of irony in your stance, I'm surprised you can surf the fucker with your unathletic self and your desk-and-chair-bound sense of agility and competitive instinct.

What you "leftist" and "progressive" word-athletes need to do is satisfy your athletic impulse with some actual physical activity. And if you're extremely tribal, I suggest you play a team sport, so that your tribal urge can be meted out appropriately -- meaning, in the more fruitful and benevolent social setting. Sport. Not internet puffery or after-work-tribal-piss'n'moan-over-drinks. Not facebook preening or twitter strutting.

And surely not on some blog where your More Feminist than You, Bro! stance is constantly aflame, where you offer crap cut-and-paste puppetry of others' thoughts, from the perspective of Expert On The Subject, Eidetic Memory Variant.

That shit is bogus, pal.


Are you starting to see yet, Pete Pwoggy and Leslie Leftist, why there are so many things wrong with the present obsession on identifying and purging or reforming "reactionaries"?

Are you grasping the fraud worked by such clowns as Corey Robin?

Or such intellectual charlatans as Glenn Greenwald?

Or, is each of them given a free pass in your world, because each identifies, in your noggin, somehow, as a person who is empathetic toward "progress"?

Go on.

Ask yourself.


probably related:  most Americans expect to successfully deceive others routinely, for pay and for pleasure

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

that's great

The quality of writing found on the internet today truly is at a historic high point.  Who can deny it?  Glenn Greenwald continues to wait until I complain about something 5 to 10 times before he finds his pelotas pequenas and dares to mention the subject himself -- and even then, he timidly tiptoes around the subject, non-committal, but assured of his stance and his forever-ness in that stance, like he's always thought that way, like he's never changed his views, like he's always been skeptical at the depths and breadths he is today, like he never supported Obama in 2008, like he never supported the Democrats in 2010, like he never blamed the Republicans 2000-2008, like he never excused the Democrats at any point, like he's always been critical of Obama, like he's actually an expert on legal matters, like he's an authority on Constitutional issues, like he's a great writer with ringing prose and an enticing way of teaching while conversing mutually.

eye of fatima

Did you know that watching TeeVee for a month after at least 7 years away from it will yield some strange ideas?

These concepts all were gathered from televisor programming and the content of those programs as well as the now-dominant (and formerly servile) advertisements.

*  Since 2012-13 era metrosexual guys (actors) can have a 3-day beard with their fancy suit-and-tie business uniform in fabricated shows and psychological warfare-using commercial enticements, having some unkempt facial hair no longer is considered clear evidence of booze addiction, unemployment, pot-smoking-induced apathy about personal grooming, or nascent sociopathic formation.  Thankfully this arrived well after the trial of Ted Kaczynksi was concluded, else perhaps our nation's favorite scapegoat-of-the-psy-op-moment might have escaped conviction and imprisonment!

*  Since there's a show with fat, skanky looking college-aged girls being chased by numerous guys and since the show's subplots are about how often and how well the fat girls get fucked by the mini-hordes of rutting males, it's clear that fatties no longer are 2d or 3d tier citizens and thus we cannot be accused of bigotry for merely observing the dick-go-limp nature of a fat woman's ...errr,aaaahhh... sexual ...uhhhh, y'know... magnetism, or whatever.  Clearly lots of guys are warring over the privilege of some porcine pincushion procreative practice.  So shut up fat girls, you're getting laid too.

*  Since the real reason for TeeVee programming is to sell advertisement time/space/content, several new broadcasters/networks have arisen to show the more stodgy ones how it's really done.  A fine example is Spike, which can turn an 82 minute movie into a 3 hour capture of marketing supplicants.  Watching a movie on Spike is great, the commercial break is so long and so full of so many different ads that by the time the movie resumes again, you've forgotten how bad it is.  Don't worry, another ad break will be along in 2 minutes and 15 seconds, so you won't really ever conclude permanently that the movie sucks.  I tell you, this is a bang-up way to sell ad time/space.  Nice work, Spike TV.

* In the intervening years since I last watched the cable channel AMC, it has gone from being the repository of old movies (because the "C" means "Classics") to the modern equivalent of the fiction Pulitzer Prize -- if it sold enough tickets, it's a "Classic" now on AMC.  Apparently "Classic" means as much as "college degree" in 2012.  At least there's a reverse, more positive side -- AMC makes enough revenue to have several successful and interesting serial shows, one of them employing Christina Hendricks.  Thank you AMC.  Now would you please give her as much air time as that pretentious asswipe Russell Brand?

yaw pitch and roll

About 20 mos ago I wrote the least inflected, least exaggerated, least hyperbolically distorted, least in-character post ever done at any blog I ever maintained.  Maybe you read it?  If you didn't you can now.

some relatively serious writing with an ironically-winking pretentious title

I never felt like finishing that with a follow-up because at the time, and for most of the time since, I was distinctly GAF* about the whole idea/subject.

I am presently marginally less GAF and much more bored right now so I'll finish.


"Agorism" there was a placeholder for a particular category of socio-politico-econo-jurisprudential thinkers or talkers -- namely, the ones who think any semblence of the following concepts.

1) We haven't ever really experienced capitalism in its pure form because in the USA some governmental entity always holds regulation/restriction/definition powers over the American economy.

2) Whatever has been experienced as the workings of business, commerce, industry and finance during America's history (1776-present) is thus far the best approximation of capitalism.

3) Capitalism can only be tested honestly and purely if the government gets entirely out of the way of business, industry, finance and commerce.

4) Government's involvement in business, industry, finance and commerce causes the humans within those enterprises to behave in sociopathic, misanthropic, destructive and generally wrong-headed ways.

5) If the government gets out of the way and lets business, commerce, finance, industry run unencumbered, the pracitioners of those enterprises will behave in a humane, respectful and generally thematically positive and/or benign ways toward the humans who are in any way affected by the enterprise.

6) A completely unfettered system of commerce, to be known as Capitalism, will be seen as holy and pure, and will achieve a new status as The Long-Hidden yet Deceptively Obvious Truth.  In this system, each of us shall achieve unity with The Dollar, and with Profit, and with Enterprise... so help us Capital.

7) Once implemented, Capitalism by its inherent magic (arriving unquestioned, and invulnerable to question, because of its Truth nature) will forbid all negative human behavior in any aspect of Capitalism's operation.  What we know today as "crime" will not exist.  Neither the blue-collar physical crimes nor the white-collar metaphysical ones will be experienced.

8) The disappearance of all criminal impulse will occur because Capitalism is holy, pure and true.  It will cleanse us of our sins, expiate our guilt, and condone our complicity.  Thus it shall end the feelings of shame, envy, lust, acquisitiveness, greed, covetousness, peevishness, intrusiveness, judgmentalism, condescension, tribal superiority, and the like.  We will become the Eloi.

all hail the mighty workings of capital!

I'm wagering that the free marketeer capitalist leftists icksetteruh icksetteruh are now thinking of the ways in which their little intellectual utopia is flawed.

If'n ye's aint then holla, ah'll russle up s'more verbidge.

Yes, that's how I really talk.  In person.


* High-school slang for "apathy" arriving in the form of an acronym, G.A.F., for Give A Fuck, as in "nope, do not Give A Fuck, not at all."

Rx: anti-emetic

I'm not sure. It may be salmonella, it may be giardia lamblia.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

building a 6-pointed Death Star with my money

Sammy, I don't recall your asking for my approval in funding a $100 million+ USD project for Apartheid Central Command to hide from the nuke strikes they intend to rain on their neighbors.

I guess it's okay, though, because Romney would have staffed his cabinet with reactionary Birchers and Teabaggers.

Monday, December 3, 2012

truly time-stopping

I heard over the weekend that Hollywood screenwriters recently gathered at some lit-hipster party were overheard talking about an end to the practice of using the handle "Alan Smithee" when not wanting to acknowledge personal affiliation with a given project.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

D. Kayd

It took less than 10 years for the InterToobz Horn o'Plenty o'Bloggers to settle themselves into neat little tribal packages.

As recently as 2 years ago there was still some mitochondrial activity across a pretty wide spectrum of opinions.

Though to be fair, most of those opinions were stupid, poorly grounded, badly reasoned and most of all, wrong.

But the spectrum did exist, even if it was a bit over-populated at the center, and even if the center was pretty wide.

I want to think the petty weasels of the freedom-oriented Left finally got over their ridiculous fears of allying with libertarian-Right folks.

I want to think that Leftists finally started walking the inclusivity talk they've been spewing for 50 years.

But sadly I think it's a sign of the Left finally realizing that if you truncate all the issues to gay marriage and abortion rights with a periodic nod toward labor, nobody gives a flying fuck.

Except gay and lesbian feminists.

And more-feminist-than-you-Broheem! breeder dudes who think themselves "intellectual."

Tuesday, November 27, 2012


Why would you want to deny fellow Americans from seeking a living wage and benefits? Those people that joined in the protest but do not work for Wal-Mart are not "outside agitators"; rather, they are fellow Americans showing support for fellow Americans that were too afraid of being fired or otherwise punished for merely asking for living wage and benefits.

Further, you should encourage W-M to pay living wage and benefits because W-M currently puts an unnecessary burden on the tax budgets of every state and county in which stores operate. By paying low wages, they openly tell employees to file for food stamps, Medicaid, etc. Then W-M via the US Chamber of Commerce lobbies Congress to keep health insurance benefits tied to corporations.

Anyone that so harshly protests unions is either anti-American or shilling for a corporation. Since the spelling and punctuation appear to be correct and the sentences coherent, probably a paid shill. Shameful.

You seem to think labor unions today function the same way they did when first begun. Despite what they originally were intended to do (leverage on work conditions), they have become corrupted entities with their own petty political machinations.

I would agree that work conditions are a good thing to bear in mind, but they're really First World Problems discussion fodder for most American workers.

The problems for American workers are bigger, they relate to emptiness -- nothing-work for meagre pay. Bloat via middle and upper management salary and perks. Labor unions designed to help people not lose a hand in a mechanized factory can't really help with that situation. In many ways they helped create it.

Your criticisms are valid for the post-World War 2 through post-Korean War era. Not for today.

This is why the left is hopelessly dead in the 21st Century -- it's stuck playing music and singing songs from 50 years ago.


The people most injured by Wal-Mart's practices are those who work or shop there.

The same segment of the American populace gets the great majority of its ideas about the world and about American society from the TeeVee and their chosen radio station.

They aren't reading ICH, not the great majority of them.

Most of the people who feel critically or strongly negative about Wal-Mart aren't going to be shopping or working there. Some of them might read ICH.

How do you reach the Wal-Mart shoppers and workers and let them know how their shopping or employment is like slow suicide?

How do you get them to stop preferring Lowest Prices Always over inquiring about value for dollars spent? Wal-Mart stuff is breakable disposable crap most of the time, so even if the price is low, what are you getting for the price?

How do you get people to start seeing that as a more sensible way to see a dollar spent?

Once you get them there, you might be able to get them to think about the problems of capitalism and consumerism.

But hammering them over the head with Marxism (for example) or labor unionizer harangue, that's not going to do it. It hasn't ever done it before.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Primer on Earning Internet Sage Status

Thanks to my over 20 years of internet discussion forum participation, I have learned quite a few things about how to pass one's self off as an Expert on the Internet.  It used to baffle me quite a bit, but it's pretty obvious now.  Perhaps a little tale will help explain.

In 2012 it's pretty common for people to be generically accustomed to pretense on the internet.  Nearly anyone you know who's spent any time browsing or surfing the Toobz can share a laugh with you when you talk about 40something shut-in guy living in his mother's basement who got busted for impersonating a 15-year-old girl in a hook-up forum.

But at the same time it's commonly misunderstood or not-understood how or why, for example, a political ignoramus and complete naif about human nature would be able to pass himself off as an Internet Savant on SocioEconoPolitical Matters.

Why do you think that is?  Why do you find it easy to see Joe the Janitor exercising peculiar fantasies by pretending to be a 15-yr-old cheerleader, but can't imagine Irving the Ignoramus wanting desperately to be mistaken for the next Noam Chomsky?


The ways in which people end up getting praised on the Toobz as political sages are nearly identical to the ways in which a person gains "popular" status in middle or high school.  It's a combination of attitudes projected, insecurities palliated, tribal needs fulfilled.

Remember back to 8th grade.  The first guy to have enough facial hair to require shaving gets the girls all moist.  The first girl to have enough boob prominence to require a C-cup bra gets the boys all wooden.  "Popularity" is about envy.  When guys hear that Tom Testosterone's beard (such as it is) requires regular maintenance and therefore makes the girls swoon, they wish their facial hedge would grow like a rainforest.  When girls hear that Emily Estrogen's thoracic terrain is driving the boys into onanist frenzies, they wish their little brassiere bumps would fatten up properly.


In the socio-econo-politico realm of Toobs Banter, most web surfers really are politically stupid.  As in, sub-cretinous brickheaded ignorance.  And they can't write a decent sentence, let alone a coherent paragraph, never mind a string of paragraphs that almost resemble a half-decent essay.

So when some dork-ass motherfucker bold enough to risk ridicule writes a blog post or forum comment that strings together 2 or 3 thoughts in a few paragraphs, in some way that can be followed by an earnest 2d grader, suddenly a nascent expert is born.

Wouldn't you like to become an Internet Savant yourself?

Of course you would.  That's why you're reading me.  You want to find some ideas that you can mimic and thereby pass yourself off as being some minor imitation of my own self.  Admit it.

And because I'm a generous person, I'm going to help you sort out just how you can try to rise to my elevated station.

I make no guarantee that you'll become as famous and world-wide admired as I am, but perhaps I can help you reach the status of someone like Amanda Marcotte, Chris Bowers, Markos Zuniga, Melissa McEwan, or Jane Hamsher.

1)  Read a bunch of political "analysis" from such accepted experts as Tom Friedman, Paul Krugman or Chris Hedges (if Democrat), or George Will, William Safire or Thomas Sowell (if Republican).

2)  Note the frequency with which these experts offer assuredness in their perspective, and the ways in which the assuredness is conveyed.  Observe the way opinion is rendered as irrefutable fact.  Example:  "While it cannot be doubted that Black people prefer fried chicken and watermelon, I saw Clarence Thomas eating lunch at an Indian restaurant in Georgetown -- so he's not the Uncle Tom everyone thinks him to be."

3)  Note the lack of sources, generally speaking, for their assured opinion(s).  But also, note the sources offered when that rare occurrence happens.  Example:  "I was speaking the other day with a friend in the Obama Administration, and she told me that President Obama would prefer to not use drones, but due to pressures from the Republican Party on National Security, he's left with no choice."

5)  Note the ways in which "data" are offered and the frequency with which "statistics" are used to give the "data" credibility.  If you can use statistics from a highbrow-sounding thinktank (whose only purpose is to generate rhetoric to be used in political opinion), you'll prevent many readers from doubting your honesty.  Example:  "While we often hear people such as former Congresswoman Cynthia McKinney questioning the role Israel plays in US foreign affairs, 73% of Americans polled by Zye O. Gnist, LLC said they prefer US tax dollars being spent to help Israel defend itself from neighboring terrorists."

6)  Note the balance of non-controversy and partisan affirmation.  By "non-controversy" I mean the ways in which obvious problems are identified in grave tones.  By "partisan affirmation" I mean the ways in which the problems are presented in language that resembles what one-half of the duopoly uses to discuss problems.  Example:  "Women's reproductive rights are threatened by the prospect of a Romney presidency, which would enable new Supreme Court justice appointments that may result in an overturn of Roe v. Wade."

7)  Be sure to pay close attention to the occasional use of personal experience, or stories of "regular folks", as practical examples supporting the opinions offered.  Begin thinking about your own personal anecdotes that can be whipped into service as "proof" of your opinions being correct.  Example:  "Just the other day I was speaking to a teabagger neighbor, who said we need to elect Romney/Ryan in order to strengthen National Security.  But hasn't Obama been tough on terrorists?"

8)  Never use a small word when a big, multi-syllable rare word can be used.  The more often you send people scrambling for a dictionary or thesaurus, the more likely you'll be worshiped for your "erudition" or "articulateness."  Example:  "One clear reason to vote for Obama/Biden this November is the obstreporous manner in which the Romney/Ryan campaign repeatedly and almost without exception has elected obfuscation rather than elucidation.  There are innumerable exemplars of this reprehensible methodology, offering an incomprehensible conducement toward elision."

Friday, October 26, 2012

limited time offer


Now that the Web's biggest phony has uttered his biggest lie of all --

I'm dying of cancer, I the fictional construct have contracted fictional cancer, please fictionally pity me and fictionally find yourself having fictional empathy for me, and please (I beg of you, polysyllabically and pompously in grandiose metaphor and superlative idiom) hold my fictional hand while I use my fictionally renown eidetic powers to castigate "reactionaries" and "misogynists" on fictionally created grounds fabricated in my fictional noggin 

-- it's time to return for a brief sortie, a recon mission where the latest-and-greatest of Political Expertise is surveyed, assessed, reviewed, analyzed and questioned.

In the phrasing of the immortal defrocked Jesuit, John McLaughlin,

ISSUE ONE!  Romney versus Obama!

In this corner Mittens who Hates Women, and in the opposite corner, Barry who Embodies the Lesser Evil.

We now urge you to take up pen, to open your iPhone's texting function, to get your Yuppie Tablet into text mode, to sit at your computer and start blogging!

It is high time we expose Devil Romney and his Romnesia!  This, dear friends, so that we may ignore the horrors wrought by Lesser Evildoer, a/k/a First Black President!

Because if you don't do that, we're going to accuse you of harboring RAPE FANTASIES!


We, of the Almighty Corvid Empire Currently in a Waiting and Holding Pattern Off-Stage but Nevertheless Impressively Highbrow and Consummately Enlightened (NB: always more than you, bro -- you filthy misogynist!), are exultant  and resplendent in our Naked Emperor Finery.  We always have been, currently are, and always will be superior to everyone who doesn't agree with us on the minorest issue of gender politics.

Like abortion-on-demand.  Your laws MUST stay off a woman's body.  A woman MUST be able to murder all life forms without legal recourse.  Women MUST have exception to culpability.

"Why?", you ask.

Well, we'll tell you.

It's because women have been subjugated since humans first walked the earth.  We owe them supreme murder authority.  It really doesn't matter if YOU personally never have mistreated a woman.  If you're a man and we find you disagreeing with us, we'll accuse you of harboring RAPE FANTASIES!

We, of the Almighty Corvid Empire Currently in a Waiting and Holding Pattern Off-Stage but Nevertheless Impressively Highbrow and Consummately Enlightened.

Can you not feel the superiority we emanate?  Can you not smell it?


Well.  That certainly was bizarre, unhinged and psychotic.

Wasn't it?


Please forgive me.  I was desperately engaged in channeling The Mighty Crowbar, whose insanity is quite hard to emulate.  It's not something anyone can do at any given moment on a mere whim.

To get into the Crow character, one must abandon all logic and reason.  One must get into a headspace where rationality is a foreign, uncharted and unknown land.  One must engage in the most hypersensitive projection of one's nightmares, onto others who don't deserve such projections.

This is necessary because of the Crow History of Manifold Battery, Buggery and Rape.

Oh.  You didn't know?  You didn't know The Crowbar was a rapist?  A multiple rapist of both adults and youths?  Of both genders?


You should.

The Crowbar spent his youth first beating up on smaller, weaker boys.  When that type of vicious violence didn't satisfy his twisted psyche, he began raping smaller, weaker boys.

He confided to his priest that he definitely wasn't gay and didn't have homosexual urges, but rather, this was about personal power.  It was necessary for him to overcome his feelings of inadequacy.

Fr. Weldon Smith, pastoral counselor at the RC church in Crowbar's home town, confessed to these facts when he was found to have cancer.  I secured an interview because I'd been hired by Random House to write a biography of the amazing Jack Crow, blogging savant and supreme hyperfeminist man.  My advance check of $18,000 easily covered my telephone calls and travel to the Crowbar hometown, where I found Fr. Smith in a hospice, withered to 75 lbs of dying human husk, but still capable of conversation.

"Yes, one of my life's great regrets is taking confession from the boy who grew into the man we know now as 'Jack Crow.'  My instinct was to report the terrible crimes he committed, but my fidelity to the church and the penitent privilege that arises from that fidelity prevented me.  It has haunted me for at least 35 years, but I have to get it off my chest."

I asked Fr Smith if he ever considered confessing these sins himself, to a fellow priest.

"Oh yes, of course I did.  But I knew that like the disclosures I'd kept under my own hat, it would remain a secret.  So I have to tell someone, and I'm glad to tell you."

Fr Smith went on to describe brutal rapes of teenage boys and girls, mere children whose anal sphincters were horribly shredded by Crow, who would not only have sex with his victims but would then use a baseball bat on them to make sure they "learned their lesson" -- in Crow's words.

I asked Fr Smith what "lesson" Crow was trying to teach his victims.

"He wanted them to learn to avoid mystical thinking, and he wanted them to respect women."

Stunned, I asked Fr Smith just exactly how Crow intended his repeated rapes and sexual batteries would achieve those goals.

"Oh they couldn't possibly achieve those goals.  This is why I've been wracked with guilt all these years.  He was clearly one of the most disturbed psyches I've ever been near in the confession booth.  I would tremble with fear when he was giving confession.  There was little more than a thin board between us.  After hearing his descriptions of violent acts committed against these poor innocent children, I would be haunted for weeks with nightmares."

I asked Fr Smith when he took his last confession from Crow.

"Well, he'd have been about 17 I think.  I'd given a glowing recommendation for him to gain acceptance to several different colleges.  He came in to tell me of his acceptance at multiple schools -- every one he applied to, if I remember correctly -- and after beaming with pride at this announcement, he then asked if I could hear one more round of confession."

Naturally I was curious as to what transpired in this last round, but didn't want to pry.  But Fr Smith was forthcoming.

"The last round was terrifying.  He quickly got into the confession booth and this time, he was bragging about raping 3 different girls in one evening.  He confessed to getting each one extremely drunk and then having violent sex with her, against her wishes expressed rather clearly.  These weren't just implied rapes.  They were obvious, vicious acts that no person ever should commit against another.  I'm afraid the victims of Crow's rapes and sexual batteries suffered horribly, too.  Several of them committed suicide.  A handful are drug addicts.  Two of the women became prostitutes.  Two of the boys did as well.  Three boys are now in life imprisonment.  It's a shame, really."

I then told Fr Smith that Crow was a blogger who maintained a highly moralizing tone and frequently lectured other men for their misogyny and for holding rape fantasies toward or concerning women.

"That's sadly typical of people with his background," said Fr Smith.

I thanked him for his time, and caught a flight back home the next morning.


I'll have more to report later, but this should suffice for now.


I received this photograph in an email from Fr Smith, with a message:

"This is an image that was forwarded by an anonymous member of the parish, who claimed to have witnessed some of the acts I heard in confession.  I don't know if that anonymous tipster tells the truth, but this does resemble the 17 year old version of Crow.  --Fr Smith's secretary"