Saturday, November 28, 2015

all things to all people: the modern renaissance human

Since F4 is out of reach for winter diversion, I got a copy of Rise of the Tomb Raider and started playing that.  I played the 2013 Tomb Raider game last winter, so this ROTR isn't totally new to me as compared to the classic originals that I played on PS1 and PS2.  I'm aware that it's both open-world and linear, I'm aware that it's formulaic (hunt for things lazily identified with the "awareness" function that makes it all glow for you; platforming jumps/crawls/swings meshed with Bat-Utility-Belt tool trickery; more combat and less puzzle-solving than original game; and an attempt at being more literary/story-oriented than the original game.

It also arrives in a certain game-playing era, one that keeps moving faster and further toward the end point of a barely-involved watching of an animated story.FN

The reviews I scanned before getting a copy of the game were almost to a person impressed with the graphics of the game, but I'm sure they're talking about the cinematic cutscenes, because the actual game world is no more impressive graphically than Skyrim when run on my 360 and CRT.  Of course Skyrim only has very minor cutscene use, and even then mostly if you activate the combat action cam for kill scenes.  Otherwise you have the opening lead-in cinematic, and nothing else.  On those bases, Skyrim's graphics are weaker.  But in the actual gameplay situation, one's as good as the other.

The biggest gripes I have so far are these:

1) Tough combat situations will arise suddenly, not as a ramp-up of existing combat.  For this to work well, the shooting mechanics and camera control of Lara & her weapon must be precise, or playing the scenario will result in those moments that can make you need to buy a new controller.  The camera control is not consistent enough in this game, sometimes you can't see what you need to hit because you're obscured by Lara's body or the panels/shades of the environment.  Making matters worse, the gun/weapon changing is not seamless, nor is reloading.  I got killed on reloads many times, and when those reloads obviously weren't quick enough I went for weapon switches, which were no quicker.  I'm not playing on a tougher setting, just middle of the road -- "Tomb Raider."

2) It's so similar to 2013 Tomb Raider in its layouts (environments) that it doesn't seem a different game.  2013 TR was fun enough, so I'm not really complaining about the game play when I say this; I'm talking about the fact that it's a new game $60 fee for what seems like a mild rewrite of the existing game.  It's Ludlum-esque.  At least in the Elder Scrolls series, you get entirely new environments.  Skyrim looks nothing like Oblivion which looks nothing like Morrowind.  Well, except for caves -- they stay pretty much the same throughout TES games.

3) This is a universal gripe that has existed since at least 2010 or so:  the newer HD games don't display well on CRT teevees.  The game's map and its information panel are impossible for me to use well because everything's blurry.  My teevee can't do the resolution needed for everything to be crisp, so playing the game becomes less a strategic matter using the information panel during gameplay, and more a be-in-the-game situation.  I don't mind this part, it's the fact that I can't read the damned screen that is a problem.

4) Stealth, my favorite playing style, happens automatically and is controlled by the software, rather than by your choice of using a crouched movement, etc.  Whether you are being stealthy is not within your control, really.  Can't say I understand this game design choice.

Best things about the game:

1) The story has an interesting mix of human social dynamics, and in my take on the story, it seems to comment on socialism, religion, authoritarianism, and human independence.  I'm early in the Geothermal Valley part of the game, and thus far it's never been didactic, bossy, stern, chastising, chiding, lecturing, hectoring or anything like that when it handles these subjects, it just raises them as part of the history of the region you explore.  You can just take it as landscape, or you can let it be part of a developing history of humans dealing with other humans. 

2) It's as good as ever at inducing vertigo.

3) The rope-arrow to create ziplines remains fun.

4) There's an insane number of tombs and caves and things to seek, just in the base game.  Hopefully the formula won't have worn me down before I've uncovered every discoverable.

-- Chet Redweld, an amateur amateur gamer.


FN - This was foreshadowed by the "gaming industry" pitching hard for games-as-art several years back, because apparently the coders and game-designers themselves are more impressed with the animation-as-diversion side of things than the actual game-playing diversion side of things.  As a cynic, I'm not surprised -- but I thought geeks' own alienation would be more a template for ignoring what's "popular" or appealing to a great majority of people.  I guess that's true only for geeks of prior generations.

Thursday, November 26, 2015

let's see that's one-two-three-four- ...wait is that a whole knob or a siped knob or two knobs?

INVESTED: Bicycle Tire with Big Knobs for Rear Wheel Applications!

Holy infraction, Flatman!

by Verdant Welkum, FATbike

It’s that time of year–-the time when our artisanal silver flasks get their innards changed from a small-batch bourbon to a careful blend of Jaegermeister, cranberry juice and peach schnapps. Yes, here in e-riderland, winter has begun, and the tires I was loving on the 5 rides I did over the Summer of 2015 for some reason suddenly will not obey my experienced voice of wisdom. Once I felt like the strongest thoroughbred in the stable --and I'm confident you can relate to that, my fellow e-rider-- yet with the advent of Old Jack Frost's Favorite Season, suddenly my favorite tires became more unruly than a group of factory workers who are starting to unionize. These tires are on the verge of striking with a picket line that extends around the block and is populated 24/7 for the interminably foreseeable future. Sometimes, when I'm straddling my bike at an intersection and I've got her leaned over just so -- I swear, the loss of traction is absolutely terrifying.

Or to dull the scalpel to the point of ensuring the patient will need future debridement of the failed wound closure, you get your head out of your ass one day and rediscover that unhappy fact: despite your honch-ness in MTB journalism world, you are much more like the average guy your readers would mock as a "Fred." Fred, who at least is me, and might be you, too, begins eating dirt (crashing) and not just sometimes but all the time. We might say that Fred, you, and I are kissing the floor at a dangerous rate.

Time to ignore our skill deficiencies, and blame those tires.

Like everyone else on Earth, I can vouch for the Minion DHF.

Being that I'm a well-established e-rider and long-standing member of the MTB journalism elite, it's natural and inevitable that I would have a handful of favorite tires.

Some people might think making distinctions between tires is sorta ridiculous on its face, but bear with me.

When it’s wetter outside than the movie set of that Topanga warehouse where one of my friends films squirting fetish videos, I’m a Maxxis Minion DHF or High Roller kind of guy.

For the rear tire, I mean.  This is an essay about rear tires.  I didn't tell you that because I was being all Creative Writing 101 up there above, but that's what this is:  an essay about choosing a rear tire.  Okay?

The narrower Ardents are shite

When the wellspring of my creative writing vigor dries up a bit, I’m finding my e-rider self more inclined to ponder the utility of a Schwalbe Hans Dampf, Continental Trail King or Maxxis Ardent 2.4.  But only the 2.4 Ardent will work for me as a rear tire.  I hate the 2.25 and want to kill whomever designed it, because I just can't make it work for me.  (tl;dr - the narrower Ardents are shite).

But with all that necessary warning about the horrible nature of the Ardent 2.25 as a rear tire, let's get back to talking about e-riding during the warmer months.

When summer rolls around, I’m 25 lbs overweight from a winter full of lazy half-committed attempts at writing a novel which actually are just me eating pizza & ice cream and looking at lots of porn.  So I'm ready to start considering a tire that rolls fast and maybe doesn't have gigantic knobs that won't distort under any NFL lineman.  I might need traction, but more than that, I need to not have a heart attack when I'm pedaling for longer than 15 minutes without a break.

Sadly, and let me tell you every year I hate this fact, but summer is over eventually.  Then, once the water falls from the sky and starts making mud and ice on the ground, my imagination starts coating the roots and rocks with oil, and I'm talking super-slippery slickness kinds of oil.  When that happens, I’m like a pine cone.  Or a conehead.  I'm trying for a metaphor that suggests a tire with better traction.

Enter the Maxxis Minion DHR II.

Enter it.  And once you get inside, take a look around.  See the threads of the carcass.  Witness the shape of the bead, and observe whether it's wire or kevlar.  Notice the lettering, symbols, numbers and logotypes embossed on the sidewall.  Gaze upon the knobbage.

Whew.  That sure was overwhelming!

Look, some people say I'm in the closet about this -- but I’ve never made a secret of my fondness for things made out of rubber.

And I want to enter the Maxxis Minion DHR II.

Some people will need to be told that despite how obvious it is from the tire's name, this is not the front-wheel specific DHF.  "D" stands for "Down", "H" stands for "Hill", "F" stands for Front.

So since this is DHR II, I can assure you that it is Down Hill Rear.  Two.  Because that's what "II" is in Roman Numerals.  Two.

Take a moment to sit down and get a full deep breath here.  I'm going to give you some serious insider beta.

Maxxis calls the DHF a front-specific fire, but you can happily run DHFs on both the front and rear wheels.

Read that again.

Maxxis calls the DHF a front-specific fire, but you can happily run DHFs on both the front and rear wheels.

It's true.  Your bike will not explode.

And at the very same time, you can ponder whether the DHR can be used as a front tire.  Which I would do here, except remember -- this is about rear tires, even if I haven't been clear enough on what I'm writing about here.

So when it comes to front/rear tire choices, here's what I want to suggest, based upon my hundreds of hours spent fantasizing about going for a bike ride someday:

I would pair a High Roller with a Minion DHF.

Remember, up above I was talking about Minion DHF as one of my favorite rear tires, so I need you to infer that I mean High Roller in front, Minion DHF as rear tire.  Or -- wait a minute.  No, I mean the High Roller as the rear tire, with Minion DHF as front.

Even though you can use it as a rear tire.

But anyway, this new "II" version of the Minion DHR, it's a very different beast, and that's why it's the DHR II and not just the DHR.  Get it?  II = different beast.

And really this is totally obvious the moment you lean the bike over even the slightest bit while paused at the intersection: the DHR II digs in and doesn’t let go.  Grip is un-friggin-real.  That bike will never fall over when you're waiting for the light to turn green.  Also, when the light turns back to red you'll be uber-stoked, since this bicycle tire's braking traction is stunning.  Literally it TAZES the ground, Bro.

Still, if there's one thing I lack, it's trying to come to grips with how much more traction I have when e-riding thanks to my time spent writing this essay.  Previously I’d unconsciously adjust my writing style to a certain kind of tangentially-involved bike fetishist whenever I hit period key for the last time on any essay.  But now?  Now my bike writing devolves quickly.

I realize, of course, that this is precisely what happens when you start imagining yourself a bike journalist squeezing a lemon during afternoon tea, but apparently it wasn’t happening so automatically whenever I dreamt about using Ardent 2.25s as a summer rear tire.  Now that I've entered the Minion DHR II, when I hit the break room, I'm brewing the choicest of Earl Grey and Darjeeling teas.

I’m devolving so fast it almost feels backward. I sound crazy, but then I’m not used to having this much Nutra*Sweet in my tea, and I haven't spent enough time thinking about control and predictability from the back of my bike.

It’s a good problem.

NEWS FLASH: Archie's leaving the country, taking Betty AND Veronica with him!

What I didn’t expect was that it would receive more comments than any other post in the history of The Archdruid Report, and the vast majority of those comments would agree heartily with the two points of that post. The first of these points is that there’s a significant number of Americans out there who, for one good reason or another, choose not to use cell phones, televisions, automobiles, microwave ovens, and an assortment of other currently fashionable technologies.

Perhaps notable, except:

1) Counting sock puppet "commenters" as actual humans? Shouldn't you say instead there's a significant number of John MICHAEL Greer sock puppets who agree with John MICHAEL Greer?

2) Those few actual comments by real people voicing honest true feelings (what do they number, 3% of total?), they are commenting at a blog whose author pretends at conviction on steampunk agrarian societies, retro-tech where tech is accepted at all. Of course they'd "agree" with John MICHAEL Greer, they visit a blog written on a fantasy premise.

3) You're not a prophet.

4) Your opinions don't matter in the great ocean of human opinion differences.

5) People lie on the internet more than they lie in meatspace, and in meatspace old Willie Shakespeare knew the drill: all the world's a stage.

6) Nonetheless, you have much to say on the matter and plenty of gold stars to award to the sock puppets who best seem to emulate the view of someone that might call himself John MICHAEL Greer on the internet.


"Shadows in the Cave" -- what, like he's Plato?

Never an original thought, always presenting prior humans' versions of "reality" as his own, and let me tell you: that's prophetic by definition!

It's nearly as impressive as writing lousy poetry with watercolor smudging on graph paper, and pretending to be the world's sole literary genius whose political insights are rewriting human understanding.

-- Harold Caidagh, and I prove with this post that the internet is reality and meatspace is a fraud, just like Archie suggests it is.

Sunday, November 22, 2015

answer: none of the above

Ennis Emby Q of the decade:

What bike will make me faster/bolder?

The answer is there ain't one because faster/bolder comes from within, not without, and it's a product of several things coming together at the moment you assess fast/bold qualities:

your comfort/ease/poise on the bike

which is a result of

your time spent pedaling or otherwise maneuvering/handling bicycles on all types of terrain at all kinds of speed

along with

whatever native athletic/gymnastic/reflex/coordination gifts your particular genetic makeup provides you

and let's not be naive about things: this sort of component-based composition of talent/skill applies to other sports, and to anything else you may choose to do in the time you are alive on this planet.

Another way of thinking of it in the way some people define "luck" -- 5% opportunity, 95% preparation.

Or as I'd think of it more accurately, 99.5% preparation, 0.5% opportunity. Perhaps 99.9% preparation, 0.1% opportunity.

But let's shelve all that reality, because the surreality of commercial growth implores us to believe the bike is what makes you bold/fast.

It also provides your ego with a quick, easy escape route to bypass the confrontation of your own personal limitations, most of which are not genetic and instead relate to your unwillingness to believe or accept or actually do the amount of work required to achieve at high levels.

So, it's great to be able to avoid that ugly moment of existential anxiety and/or shaky footing for self-image maintenance. There must be a flaw in the bike(s) you've chosen to own and ride. It must be the tool, it's not the user of the tool. The tool must be wrong. It must be one made for someone who doesn't want to be seen as heroic. Where's the Hero Tool?

Friday, November 20, 2015

the farmer surveys his fields and finds them unwantedly fallow

Pinkbike Poll: How Much Should a Top DH Racer Be Paid?

Seriously, just pick a number based on some other line of work that people call "professional sports" and maybe even not based on that line but some other. Use flights of fancy, shoot for the moon, etc.

Because the money will appear magically if you have enough e-mojo to make a good enough SJW argument in favor of more money-for-nothing.

If you want it, then it needs to happen.

So if you want your favorite DH racer to make 750k USD/yr, that's what needs to happen. The real question: how do we grow the sport enough to make such salaries possible?

Mike Levy wants to know.


To what end will Mike put this "data"?  Is this part of "Big Data," and thus because TED lecturers and short-attention-span headline writers insist we're all progressing with "Big Data," it's inevitable that things will progress in DH racer pay? 

How will racers get paid more? 

This is like saying, "well of course Minimum Wage should be $15/hr, that's the minimum to live on in American society."  And then putting it on the employer to come up with the margins between as-paid-now, and the new $15/hr minimum. 

That money will just magically appear for the employer to cover those margins.  Progress!  Progress will supply it!  Thanks to technology!  Because technology is processing Big Data!

It's nice to see that MTB media are as greedy as the major infotainment media like CNBC or Fox.  Isn't it?  That shows MTB is mainstream and on a growth trajectory!

--Karl Franz Ochstradt, reporting live from somewhere

Sunday, November 15, 2015

generation hex

Including several hipster categories, an onion skin mask over a caricature of Galt-Roark objectivist behavior in a Galt's Gulch setting, a parallel parody of Zuckerberg-Brin-Page, another batch of xenothespians hired to do USA native accents including a Scot playing a Portland OR native who sometimes does Lawn Guyland inflection, a Swede who lapses between Queen's English and overenunciator selfconscious middle class American who wants to be upper middle, and a South American doing a Brooklyn hiding behind Top Tech PhD filter.

This and much more is worth 1 hr 48 mins of your time.

Ex Machina

Thursday, November 12, 2015

hipster swears he's not a hipster, instagram proof forthcoming

You know how to spot someone who is only half as clever and one-third as insightful as he/she thinks him/herself? You see them reduce everything to a Me Smart You Dumb binary:

Socialists don't seem to comprehend that in order to keep the system going you need GROWTH and the best system to offer growth is capitalism. It's a frustrating catch-22 for those morons.

Naturally that's over at the Silent T and its author is conveniently named

Rufus The Monocled Derp Slayer

It may be that Roofie is being "ironic" by posting such a sentiment as the one quoted above, while calling self a slayer of derpitude. Maybe this is another of those soft parodies that imagines itself to be deep satire.


1) Talking about what another "doesn't seem to comprehend" is indirect enginerd/STEMmie speak for "I see this, they don't, because I'm so much smarter than they are."

2) It also creates a straw-man, thus starting a logical fallacy from which it's hard to escape.  Straw man = projected picture of what another does/doesn't comprehend.  Where speaking of blanket truths, only that other knows what he/she does or doesn't understand.  On specifics, I think Roofie would need to show me the transcript of his discussion with a "Socialist" in which Roofie ferrets the extent of what the "Socialist" does or doesn't understand.  Because otherwise we're talking about a fiction, no matter how confidently Roofie asserts it.

3) Asserting that "growth" is what you need to "keep the system going" doesn't really explain much in the way of what has to grow, nor what exactly is "the system."

4) It also assumes inherent correctness for the idea that growth is essential to systemic survival.

5) Even if growth is essential, we're also told that the "only" system to provide such growth is "capitalism" -- which I've put in quotes because Roofie's definition of capitalism may differ from yours, Fred the carpenter's, Leo the architect's, D'arcy the haircutter's, or Zeke the welder's.  Shouldn't we first decide whose "capitalism" we're relying upon, before we determine without question that it's the only one that helps a "system" survive?  Which "system" are we talking about there?  If capitalism's a "system" and such "systems" are needed to provide the "growth" that makes some other "system" survive -- what are we talking about, exactly?


There are no biological systems that have to grow in order to survive.  That's a man-fabricated so-called imperative, and it was created by those who are involved in -- guess what? -- you got it.  Commerce.  Selling shit.  Selling material goods that aren't needed, but can be prompted as a target of desire.

That's where the "growth is essential" idea originates.  In greed.

Not in biological systems, but in the supra-organismal man-made theoretical system.

So, you really can't prove that growth is essential, Roofie.

Though I would be entertained by any attempts you or anyone else might make toward that end.


Speaking of derpitude and the inevitable use of the concept in the phrase "peak derp," I would expect Followers of the Silent T would assume I'm a progressive or at best a "cuck" because I am not singing along from the Silent T Hymnbook here.  Of course, as always, that just shows the Followers to be at least trebly naive compared to how they see themselves, and at least doubly stupid in that same comparison.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

consistency is the key

It's clear by virtue of its past employment of Little Glenn that GuardianUK is positioned as a mythmaker for those who want to label themselves as progressive and gravely concerned about the world's manifold injustices, and also by virtue of its track record --journalistic content wise, I mean-- that it considers itself a mapmaker (including, by necessity in its meritocratic position, legend creator) for reading the terrifying terra firma's terrors as they lay, all the better to avoid them.


As already said, gloomily but with full resign to the outcome here, I haven't played F4.  So I can't review it.  But I can read other reviews and see if the reviewer understands the Fallout world well enough to make the review worth my consideration.

The legendary progressive stronghold has reviewed F4 today.

I haven't read the review for the inevitable subtle reminders of what each and every Progressive should believe about the world, technology, nuclear power, or the Fallout world's commentary on all those things from the perspective of a person who is an adult at the turn of the 20th into the 21st Century.  I looked only at the review of the game & game-play.

The intrepid scrivener complains that you have to use an unwanted (and, maybe more accurately, unfair) amount of foresight in choosing your SPECIAL attributes, because short-changing yourself on a category early on will make later game-play tough if, for example, you want to use a weapon but it requires more Perception than you have allocated yourself.


I suppose I should not be surprised that from GuardianUK's perspective, soft-Marxist doggerel is essential to video game diversion.  It really cannot be overstated:  games must provide that No Child Left Behind vibe, a safe space for the game-player, everyone equal, no advantages in any native talent because we're all natively talented and most of all, fungible entities.

I think I have that correctly, but I'll wait to be rectified by the self-appointed paladins of Ultimate Truth.

Perhaps if F4 made every player equal to every other player who chooses to play the game, and furthermore, equal to every NPC encountered in the game, it could earn a 10/10 from GuardianUK.  Then you could start out with low Perception but still be able to use that wicked sniper rifle you pick up at Level 10.  The choices you made at Level 1 should not hamper your progress.  And progress is what matters, because without progress nobody's equal.


If you go back to your 4th grade school class, do you remember every one of your classmates as being equal to every other classmate in every field of inquiry, every facet of human talent, every display of human morphology?

Were there kids who could play a musical instrument almost as if they were born doing so?  Others whose talents at mathematics made them seem like little Euclids?  How about the ones who could draw or paint as if it took no practice or refinement, relative to your own abilities?

Were there fat kids?  Skinny kids?  Kids with red hair?  How about freckles?  Any kids who already had a moustache?


The Fallout series doesn't promise Utopia -- not as an experience in the game world, not as a refinement of the driving plot, and not as a game-playing concept.

It might even be a no-risk proposition to say that a watering-down of the game, in a manner that would raise its GuardianUK review score from 7/10 to 10/10, might leave only the rare few wanting to play it.

I think a different game is in order for GuardianUK readers:  one where the game is basically a story told in animation cinema, with minor occasional interruptions for the most routine levels of game-controller-device manipulation.  Perhaps L.A. Noire is more their speed.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

for a silent T, you sure do make a racket

But you can take that racket and smash your serve, hoping for an ace:

Bernie Sanders Is Right on Marijuana, But Not Enough
Time to treat pot like alcohol.

As the old observational comic says, "you just can't make this stuff up!"

So the anti-State/devolve-to-micro-State gang want to treat marijuana not like corn, tomatoes, etc that you can grow in your yard, box planter, window box, greenhouse or other setup on your own property.

That would be too simple, because no regulation. And someone who wants to shrink the state and, therefore, constantly complains about too much government involvement in everyday affairs -- he'd want to have regulation if possible, right?

So we should treat MJ like alcoholic beverages.


Because there's so much formula-experimentation with things like congeners, additives, and complex chemical reaction (like mash-making, fermentation, distillation and all with an eye on purity and avoiding someone substituting methanol for ethanol etc) when someone takes an MJ seed and puts it in soil and waters it and gives it light and then trims it when it has ripened in growth and achieved that plant-sexual quickening.

They're identical, alcoholic beverages and marijuana. MJ is nothing like tomatoes or corn or basil that you'd grow at home. Nothing at all. It demands regulation.

Also, those who dislike regulatory involvement should start getting eager about Bernie Sanders, because you have only D vs R and to a Silent T Follower, those Rs just look kooky! You'd think the GOP would be smarter, knowing how brilliant are the Silent T Followers, and knowing how the Followers are the vanguard of socio-economic thought in 21st Century America.

I would think that, anyway.

You probably see it differently, thinking that buzz=buzz and so the equivalence is valid.  Okay, what if you grew coffee beans on your property?  You're going to tell me caffeine isn't a buzzer?

How about that home-brewed beer you made?  Shouldn't ATF be in there, watching over your homebrew?  You might poison yourself or blind your neighbor!

Some people make their own wine.  That's clearly a sign that ATF needs to be in there!  Homemade wine is dangerous, and someone's got to save the home fermenter from himself.  Or herself.

So it's obvious.  Marijuana must be taxed and regulated.

Besides, that way all the New Money Venture Capitalists (smaller scale version) get to displace the existing grey and black market people who grow and sell marijuana.  They're all filthy unsophisticates who have no place in our progressing-by-the-moment 21st Century America!  In fact, that suggests to me that more invasive economic regulations are needed, to ensure that everyone who isn't a STEM program graduate has no place to earn a buck.  That's economic freedom right there.  That's liberty.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

eye gradyooayted hye skoo 'n' eye raist bykes for five yeers

Naturally, therefore, I'm a bike journalist.  I write better than most canonically revered novelists, I take better pictures than Ansel Adams could have dreamed about, and online, I shred way harder than you, him, her, that dude over in SLO, and anyone in Boulder.  Seriously.

That's why when I write stuff on my blog, I stick to the perspective of a 12 year old boy who is really insecure about where he fits into his 6th grade classmate social hierarchy.

Yes, it's an energy drink commercial from Europe. However, it's awesome to see mountain biking going more main stream!

Really? It's "awesome" to see that?

Why is that?

Can you name for me one major theme, item, tool, device, concept or principle that was improved, or at least not diminished or weakened in any way, by its "going mainstream"?

Or is it just that Shawn Spomer would like to make 100k/year for writing things from that above-stated perspective of the insecure 12-year-old who really wants peer acceptance and can't stand the fact that he has slightly crooked teeth, freckles, or the wrong clothes?

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

everyone else is gullible, except ___________. please fill in the blank.

Aeons ago in the Ancient Papyrus Academy, I and some of my fellow galley-slave-to-be prospectors were able to take a class referred to with brevity as "CrimPro," also known as Criminal Procedure, also known as Constitutional limits on the treatment of those chosen by the police to serve as reminders, state-wide, of who owns whom.

In those long gone days --and let's be frank about it, we're all glad they're gone now because back then, thuggish perps had more leeway to be sociopathic misogynist reactionary breeders who commit micro-aggressions every living second-- the State had to obtain a warrant to track your behavior, listen in on your phone calls, read your mail, enter your house, or open and rummage through your personal belongings.

That sounds to me like the State gave thuggish reactionary microaggressors far too much freedom, and I hope you agree with me.

It would be much safer if the State knew everything about everyone, all the time.  Right?  Only the lawless criminal need fear such oversight.  Good Citizens have nothing to fear.


A carpetbagging member of the Congress, who goes by "Jason Chaffetz" and brought with him to Utah a gigantic carpet-bag of cashish (trucked in on an 18 wheeler, no less) through and with which he intends to get rid of the MoMos and modernize/progress the state of Utah, is offering a doggie treat to those gullible enough to think Jay-Jay actually has individual rights in mind.

Never let it be said that the Davidland faithful don't know how to act.  This fellow, who is known to his closest schul-mates as Jay-Jay, went so far as to attend BYU instead of Brandeis, all the better to further his career in Remaking the State of Utah for Progress.

He reminds me a lot of someone in my town.  Someone who robs you blind and tells you that he's just made your life better, in order to distract you from the theft.


Of course Jay-Jay's move will play big at The Silent T.  That's the audience for his schtick:  the greed-stuffed progress mavens who think lip service paid to civil liberties is the same as ensuring civil liberty.


Meanwhile in other news, Chet told me this AM that the guy I know as The Ding-Dong is busy re-imagining himself as something other than the "neoliberals" he blames for the ruining of his Donkey Fetish.  It's amusing watching a self-styled genius constantly show how ignorant he is, no matter how many Hot Topic authors and poets and musicians and composers names are dropped.

--Karl Franz Ochstradt, reporting live from somewhere.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

how much smug fits in a rug?

It goes without saying that continual japery toward The Silent T includes within the attack various forsaken opportunities to squeeze the trigger when a melon is in the crosshairs.

The continual 3-legged horse in their paddock's pride is the Little Glenn/Metro Eddie boondoggle.  Whenever either of those two B-actors' names is mentioned, the earnest Silent T scrivener on the job will assure you that we all owe a debt of gratitude to (a) Little Glenn for his tireless and incredibly fearless, life-risking exposure of dirty secrets that nobody ever disclosed before on any scale resembling that of Unclaimed Territory or Salon or GuardianUK or The Intercept; and/or (b) Metro Eddie for his death-defying globe-trotting evasion of Uncle Sam's homesick hitmen while simultaneously and/or immediately previously offering virtual e-mountains of undisclosed national secrets about hush-hush programs nobody ever disclosed before on any scale resembling that of The Intercept.

The fact that none of the Little Glenn/Metro Eddie story, and none of the mythology that it spawned on such a compressed timeframe, broke any ground on what had previously been disclosed about George C. Fortitude's business operations in the post-nyne E-leavened Murken Yooniverse™ -- well that's just an inconvenient truth, Alzie.

Inconvenient to those of us who have made money selling you rusted-out 15 year old Ladas and calling them Teslas, that is.

Take Jesse Walker, for example:

Today the parliament of the European Union voted narrowly—285 to 281—to urge its member states to give sanctuary to Edward Snowden, the former National Security Agency contractor whose leaks shed light on the U.S. government's covert surveillance programs. Specifically, the resolution said Europe should "drop any criminal charges against Edward Snowden, grant him protection and consequently prevent extradition or rendition by third parties, in recognition of his status as whistle-blower and international human rights defender." Snowden is currently exiled in Russia.

Jesse apparently believes that these game-changing revelations by Metro Eddie were history themselves, true insights into something dirty and devious, and yet despite that empire-crushing scoopery the homesick lads just couldn't catch him.  Not even when he was holed up in a Hong Kong luxury hotel, the location of which was published by Metro himself and also by Little as the conduit of Metro's displays of locus disclosure, via email and twitter.FN

Since, as well all know, Hong Kong is like The Vatican and no people unaffiliated with the Holy See are allowed in.  Thus those poor lads couldn't get in to give Metro the message offered by the homesick, who were, as you might expect, back home.  Sick with worry.  About Metro's scoops.

Sure, Jesse.  I believe that.  Truly.

Someone who so oversells an empty story & hollow myth would seem to be engaged in writing the sorts of puffery I've come to expect from The Supreme Arch-Druid of the North American Land Mass and possibly Pangaea, but the Silent T tends toward a veneer of skeptical rationalism where Archie's tack finds him riding big puffs of hot air informed or possibly driven by steam, punk.

Perhaps a gander at Jesse's blog will reveal the pretense as pretense? You decide.


FN - Or anywhere else he's hidden in plain view since doing the 23 skidoo away from the employ of some boozer named Alan from Hamilton NY.  Most practitioners of espionage tweet about their escape with the damaging intel/info/whatever.  The best even GoPro it.

Friday, October 23, 2015

in case it's a snow-free winter

I would say I'm looking forward to playing this, but it requires me to have either an XBone or a uber-gamer golden PC while I've got a cheese-class PC and a 360.  And no spare $$$ to pop for either the console or modern TV designed to run such stellar resolution.  The PC can't be upgraded to run modern games at decent framerate, because it's got integrated video rather than a mobo standoff card.  Ferpetesake, I'm still using a CRT teevee from 2004.  One of my friends actually joked about how I'm the last human in the USA to be without a flatscreen digital TV.

Maybe I'll be able to sell some ski gear for the $$ it would cost to get a modernist teevee and an XBone.  That makes a lot of sense.  $60 game requires ≥$600 in hardware purchase. 

I could always spend dead time writing and hope to get some $$ from keyboard battery, but an audience of nimrods and hesters who have dbl-digit SBs and a depth which mirrors the thickness of a sheet of vellum is no place to ply my palavering.  Not if historical reception is any clue, anyway.  The only hope for my scribbling is that a gaggle of pwoggy nimrods & hesters create a fad-bubble of Haterade (carbonated version) Belching and send it my way.  But what good would it do me to be hated by PBS and NPR fans, TED lecture fans, Hope&Change fans, Bernito Gasolini fans, etc?  No good at all, I'm afraid.  None whatever.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

shocking whistleblower revelation indicates that Internal Revenue Service is corrupt and inefficient

One of this blog's prior writers called him Jeremiad Cavedweller, but as of today he's a Big Famous Dude because he's got the hot solo scoop from yet another pivotal whistleblower, and today's tweeter revelation is that Obama --who joked in public statements about using drones to attack whomever tried to date his daughters-- was operating a "secret" drone program that NOBODY REPORTED ON BEFORE!

I hope Mr Cavedweller isn't hoping to fall back on law practice after his keyboard's battery is revealed to be whole-cloth fiction.